少年时代

and go get some kid at the middle school.
小屁孩是什么意思 他是你弟弟
What do you mean “Some kid”? He’s your brother!
懂吗 我们以前也去接过珍妮
And you know what? We’ve helped Janey out before.
就在旁边住 没什么大不了的
She lives right around the corner. It’s no big deal.
不好意思
Sorry.
听我说 萨曼塔
You know what, Samantha?
你得好好想想你到底想做一个怎样的人了
You need to start thinking long and hard about who you wanna be.
是做一个乐于助人的
Do you wanna be a cooperative person
有同情心的人
who’s compassionate and helps people out…
或者是一个以自我为中心的自恋狂
…or do you wanna be a self-centered narcissist?
知道我 说对了 我就是那种人
You know what? You’re right. I am this horrible person.
但说实话 他又不是个小婴儿
But, honestly, he’s not a baby anymore.
你没必要这样对他
You don’t have to treat him like one.
他都上八年级了
He’s in eighth grade,
只要他想 哪有找不到路回家的
and he can find his way home if he wants to.
知道不
You know what?
加比离开后 我得和你好好谈一谈
When Gabi leaves, you and me are gonna have a chat.
囧死了
Awkward.
简直弱爆了
Dude, that sucks.
嘿 怎么了
Hey, man, what’s up?
嘿 我们今晚要去露营
Hey. We’re going camping tonight.
你要去吗
You in?
呃 都有谁要去
Uh. Who’s going?
我哥哥 我哥哥的朋友 托尼可能也会去
My brother, one of his friends, and Tony maybe.
好 我去问问我妈
Yeah, let me check with my mom.
妈 我今晚能和蔡斯去露营吗
Mom, can I go camping with Chase tonight?
露营 在哪儿
Camping? Where?
额 在他正在装♥修♥的家里
Uh, at that house that his family’s building.
都快装完了
It’s pretty much finished.
那有大人在吗
Well, will any adults be there?
他哥哥都高三了
His brother’s a senior.
你带手♥机♥了吗 嗯
You have your cell phone? Yeah.
充好电了吗 嗯嗯
Is it charged? Mmm-hmm.
行 帮我个忙
Okay, do me a favor.
去把他父母的电♥话♥和住址写给我
Leave his parents’ number and the address on the counter.
好
Okay–
耶 这才像样嘛
Yeah! What I’m talking about!
就是
That’s it.
准备好了吗 看这个
You ready? Check this shit out.
刚才那个一般般 快看这个厉害的
That was all right, but this is gonna be badass.
好吧 看你有什么能耐
All right, let me see. Let me see what you can do.
好 这就是你的脸了
All right. This is your face.
我要在这个位置 踢爆他的脸
I’m about to break his face, right here.
不错嘛 骚年 不错
All right, man. All right,
快看这个 都闪开点哦
now check this out. You might want to move.
哇 肯定痛爆了
Ow, that’d be painful.
打到肾 或者胃之类的位置了吧
In the kidneys, right? The stomach? Something.
哦
Oh!
看好了
Check this out, man.
胰脏有木有
Pancreas.
致命一击啊
That shit’s lethal.
是啊 肯定痛死
Yeah, that would be painful.
骚年 来罐啤酒吧 超级棒
Man, have a beer, man. That was awesome. Here.
超好的啤酒哟 孩子们
It’s beer 30, children.
太棒了
Nice.
额 谢了 我不要
Uh, no, thanks.
赶紧拿着
Come on, man.
你是娘们吗
What are you? A pussy?
我只是现在不太想喝酒
I just don’t feel like drinking a beer right now.
亲 你要是胆小得都不敢喝啤酒
Man, if you’re too chickenshit to even have a beer,
我敢肯定你从来没上过妹子
I know for a fact that you have never gotten any pussy.
说得跟你们上过似的
Like you guys have.
妥妥的
Sure have.
什么时候
When?
上个夏天
Last summer.
-和谁 -简直屌♥
-With who? -It was awesome.
蔡斯如鱼得水地上了一个叫南希的婊♥子♥
Chase went down easy street and fucked this whore Nancy.
至少他是这么吹的
At least, that’s what he said.
我说的实话 难不成骗你们
I did. Would I lie?
狗屁 快说当时你在哪儿
Bullshit. Quick, where were you?
在泰伯尔家
At Taber’s house.
而且她还和其他几个汉子也睡了
And she fucked a couple other guys, too.
天 他的第一次竟然给了一个万人睡
Oh, man, his first piece of ass was sloppy seconds.
梅森 你呢 你有过吗
What about you, Mason? You ever got any?
对 你有没有让她 呃 尖叫到深夜
Yeah, you ever made her, uh, howl into the night?
有几次吧 真的吗
A few times. Really?
那她叫什么 幸运小女孩儿吗
Yeah, right, what was her name? Lucky?
不是的 她叫詹妮弗
No. Jennfien.
但她不住这儿了 回休斯顿去了
She doesn’t live here, though. She’s back in Houston.
你特么在撒谎
You’re fucking lying.
我才不管你们几个混球信不信我说的话
I don’t care if you assholes believe me or not.
我想想 你是不是各种货色都带回家
Let me guess, you were pulling all kinds of ass back home,
但一说到那方面 都是左手干的吧
but once you got down here, lefty.
嘿 去你的
Hey, fuck you.
我还想呢 但这里的女生都不想这样
I would, but none of the girls here want to.
兄弟 她们想要什么不重要 重要的是你想要什么
Dude, it’s not what they want, man, it’s what you want.
实话
True dat.
知道你该干嘛么 加一个乐队去
You know what you should do, join a band.
这样就够了 兄弟
That’s all it takes, man.
是吗 妥妥的
Oh, yeah? Fuck, yeah, dude.
你根本就不用精通乐器
You don’t even have to play that well.
只要你一抱起乐器
You start playing your instrument,
妹子们排着队给你吹♥箫♥
and they line up to give you blowjobs.
除了你
Except for you.
你在仪仗队吹长笛的样子
It doesn’t impress the ladies so much
女生不太感冒
when you play flute for the marching band.
我特么才不在什么仪仗队里呢
I’m not in the fucking marching band.
你确定 我可是听说你会吹♥箫♥哦
Oh, dude, you sure? I heard you play the skin flute.
好了 问大家一个问题
All right, I got a question for you guys.
如果你真像你说的那么屌♥
If you think you’re so cool,
你干嘛周五晚上还和
why you hanging out with
一堆八年级的孩子瞎混
a bunch of 8th graders on a Friday night?
嘿 去你的 你这个小屌♥丝
Hey. Fuck you, you little penis wrinkle.
让你来就不错了
You’re lucky to even be here.
这可是我们的露营
This is our camp-out.
让你们一群小混♥蛋♥来的唯一原因是
The only reason you little cum gums are here
查理他妈非要让他
is because fucking Charlie’s mom made him
带着他的蠢蛋老弟
bring his little asshole brother
然后他就你们一群傻屌♥给叫过来了
and then he drags along you little dice danglers.
满嘴胡言的小傻♥逼♥
Fucking fuzz nut, talking shit!
别激动 哥们
It’s all good, man.
这些小傻♥逼♥待会儿也能享福了
These little fuzz nuts are going to get their chance soon enough.
待会儿会有妓♥女♥过来哟
We got some whores coming by later.
-真的吗 -当然是真的
-Yeah? -Hell yeah!
我知道蔡斯早已饥渴难耐了
Now, I know Chase will fuck anything.
我可看到过这小破孩儿激凸的时候
I mean, I’ve seen this kid mount boulders before.
你们呢 要一起玩儿吗
But what about you guys? You in?
-随便啦 -好吧
-Whatever. -All right.
小伙子不错嘛 好吧
Good man. All right.
你要一起吗 小基佬
What about you, Peter Puffer?
我不知道唉 可能吧
I don’t know. Maybe.
兄弟 基佬也是人 我们懂的
Dude, it’s okay to be gay. We understand.
你可以 直接睡旁边就行
Just, you know, sleep over there.
我不是基佬
I’m not gay–
等等吧 时间会给你答案的
Give it some time, man. You’ll realize.
操你们的
Fuck y’all.
看 就是这个样子
See, that’s exactly my point, man.
不过待会儿没有妓♥女♥要过来
Nah, but we don’t have whores coming over.
我们就逗你们玩儿 看你们反应
We were just fucking with you to see what you’d say.
恭喜你获得了妓♥女♥勋章
And you just earned your vag badge.
和你的婊♥子♥勋章放一起吧