波拉特（2006）

Get away! What the hell are you doing?
嘿 我只想打个招呼！ 有什么不对吗?
Hey! I want to say hello! What is the problem?
这是我一生里最高兴的一天
This had been most happiest day of my lifes.
我很兴奋地开始了我的解说
I was very excite to start my reportings.
美国以它的幽默感闻名于世
联♥合♥国♥的调查报告说哈萨克斯坦的幽默感位于倒数第98名
我们必须改善这一点
好了 可以了
Okay.
快点 快点
吹干它就行了 不要用手帮我解决
– 我后面怎么样? – 不错 挺湿润的
那么这个采访是几点?
很快 我的朋友
轻点
啊…啊…啊…够了！
Ah! Teh-teh-teh-teh-teh!
– 你好 – 你好
– Hello. – Hello.
哈罗 我叫派特·哈格迪 （幽默教练）
My name is- My name is Pat Haggerty.
– 很高兴见到你 我是波拉特 – 我也是
– Nice to meet you. Borat. – Nice to meet you.
我可不可以用我的丈母娘开玩笑?
Should I make joke about my mother-in-law?
没问题 在美国这是个很受欢迎的玩笑 你会讲丈母娘笑话?
Yes, in America, that’s a very popular joke. Do you have a mother-in-law joke?
– 是的 – 说说看
– Yes. – All right.
我和我丈母娘做过一次
I had sexy time with my mother-in-law.
– 什么一次? – 做过一次
– A what time? – Sexy time.
我和我丈母娘做过一次
I made-a sexy time with my mother-in-law.
– 你和你丈母娘做过爱? – 是的
– You had sex with your mother-in-law? – Yes.
呃 我不认为美国人会觉得这好笑
Uh, I don’t think that Americans would find that funny.
不 这不是玩笑
No, it is not a joke.
对 我们正在谈的是… 恩 幽默
Yeah, we’re talking about, um, humor.
哦 是的 你叫我说丈母娘的
Oh, yes, you asked me about my mother-in-law.
你有没有关于你丈母娘的”笑话”?
Do you have a joke about your mother-in-law?
没有 为什么要讲丈母娘的笑话?
No, why make a joke on a mother-in-law?
呃…
Um-
你们有没有嘲笑过那些弱智的人?
Do you ever laugh on people with retardation?
在美国这里 我们不会…
Here in America, we try not to…
我们一般不开那种为人们所不取的玩笑
make fun of or be funny with things that people don’t choose.
但是也许你没见过 恩 那种…
But perhaps you have not seen, um…
非常可笑的弱智
someone with a very funny retardation.
就像我哥哥比罗…
My brother Bilo…
他的那种弱智行为真的非常好笑
have a very funny, uh, retardation.
呃 但是弱智 你知道的…
Um, in mental retardation, you know…
会给很多家庭带来很深的痛苦和不幸
it causes a lot of pain and hardship for a lot of families.
有时候我妹妹会秀她的阴♥道♥…
Sometime my sister, she show her vagine…
给我哥哥比罗看 还说…
to my brother, Bilo, and say…
说”你就没有’这个’过 你就没有’这个’过 啦啦啦啦啦”
“You will never get this. You will never get this. La-la-la-la-la.”
笼子里的他就会发狂 每个人都笑他
He, uh, behind his cage, crazy, crazy. Everybody laugh.
她就不停说”你就没有’这个’过”
She go, “You never get this.”
但是有一次 他打破了笼子 得到了”这个”
Uh, but one time he break cage and he get this.
然后我们都笑了 来拍一下
And then we laugh. High five.
听着 呃…
Now, um-
这个在美国不好笑 知道吗?
Um, no, that would not be funny in America, okay?
笑话分类：1.种族 2.脏话 3.冷笑话 4.灵机一动 5.”不是”笑话
“不是笑话”是啥？
What is a “not”jokes?
“不是”笑话是当我们想要取笑某事时…
A “not”joke is when we’re trying to make fun of something…
我们先陈述一件事 并且假装它是真的…
and what we do is, we make a statement that we pretend is true…
但是在结尾时 我们会说”才不是” 意思是说它其实是假的
but at the end, we say “not,” which means it’s not true.
给我讲个例子
So teach me how to make one.
– 好 你西装是什么颜色的? – 灰色的
– All right. What color is your suit? – This suit is gray.
灰色 我觉得是蓝色
Gray. I would call it blue, okay?
– 是灰色 – 好吧 蓝灰色
– It’s gray. – All right, it’s blue-gray.
– 但肯定不是黑色 对吧? – 它更像灰
– But it’s certainly not black, right? – Well, it’s more gray.
– 好吧 我们假设它是灰的 但实际上它不是… – 它就是灰色
– All right, let’s say it’s gray. But it’s not… – It is gray.
好吧 对于一个”不是”笑话来说 我会这样讲…
Okay, so a “not”joke, I would say…
“这件西装是黑色的 才不是！”
“That suit is black. Not!”
这件西装才不是黑色！
This-a suit is not black.
– 不不 “才不是”要放在最后 – 好
– No, no, “not” has to be the end. Okay. – Okay.
这件西装是黑色才不是
This suit is black not.
这件西装是黑色 停顿 你知道什么是停顿吧?
This suit is black. Pause. You know what a pause is?
– 知道 – 这件西装是黑色 才不是！
– Yes. – This suit is black. Not!
这件西装是黑色 停顿 才不是
This suit is black, pause, not.
你不能把”停顿”说出来
No, you don’t say “pause.”
这件西装是黑色…
This suit is black.
这里停顿…才不是！
That’s a pause. Not!
这件西装是黑色…
This suit is black.
好吧 呃…
Okay, um-
– 我不 我不 我不是… – 才不是！
– I don’t… I don’t… I’m not… – Not!
每个人都说 美国的电视节目多么多么好看
Everybody say U.S.A. Television much better…
但这个我看了3小时了 它都没变
but this I watch for three hours, do not change.
（免费早餐：周一至周五早6:00-9:30 周六、日及节假日早7:00-10:30）
这个是遥控器 按这两个箭头来换台
There’s a remote control right here. You push these two arrows to change the channel.
我抓住他了！我抓住他了！
I got him! I got him!
你能和我一起去后院吗? 我有种再埋点什么的冲动
Would you come out in the backyard with me? I have the urge to bury something else.
耶！
Yes!
– 我爱你 – 噢 我也爱你 杰米
– I love you. – Oh, I love you too, Jamie.
啊 我爱你
Oh, I love you.
你相信魔法吗 这位…?
Do you believe in magic, um, miss-
帕克·CJ
Parker. C.J.
很高兴认识你 CJ小姐
It’s a pleasure to meet you, C. J…
小心 小心啊 CJ！
Be careful! Be careful, C. J!
在哈萨克斯坦我从没见过像CJ这样的女人
This C. J… was like no Kazakh woman I had ever seen.
她有金色的头发…
She had golden hairs…
牙齿白得像珍珠…
teeth as white as pearls…
还有个7岁女孩的屁♥眼♥
and the asshole of a seven-year-old.
我人生中的第一次…
For the fiirst time in my lifes…
坠入了爱河
I was in love.
起来 起来！
你怎么还没准备好?
我们今天还有采访要做
我知道
要尽可能向这个妇女组织学习经验
– 我头发怎样? – 很漂亮 没问题
可以了
Okay.
在哈萨克斯坦…
In Kazakhstan, it is illegal…
5个以上的妇女呆在同一个地方是违法的
for more than five woman to be in the same place…
除了两个地方：妓院或坟墓
except for in brothel or in grave.
在美国 很多妇女结成组织 称为女权主义者
In U.S. And A., many womens meet in a groups called feminists.
我找到了她们 请跟我来
I find-a more. Chenquieh.
美国老一代女权主义者
那么女权主义到底是什么意思？
So what-a means, this “feminism”?
它是一种理论 倡导男女平等
It’s the theory that women should be equal to men…
不管是物质上…
in matters economic…
– 经济上 还是社会… – 你在笑?
– Social and political. – Now, you are laughing.
– 是的 – 这就是问题之一
– Yeah. – That is the problem.
你认为妇女应该受教育吗?
Do you think a woman should be educate?
当然
Definitely.
但是她们的脑子比男人小 这真的没问题吗?
But is it not a problem that the woman have a smaller brain than the men?
这是错的
That is wrong.
但是我国御用科学家雅马克博士
But the government scientist, Dr. Yamak,
证实了女人脑子的大小跟松鼠一样
have prove it is size of squirrel.
– 你们国家的科学家? – 是的 雅马克博士
– Your government scientist? – Yes, Dr. Yamak.
他大错特错
He’s wrong. He’s wrong.
笑一个 宝贝 别绷着脸
Give me a smile, baby. Why angry face?
你刚才说的对我们是一种极大的侮辱
Well, what you’re saying is very demeaning.
– 你知道”侮辱”这个词吗? – 不知道
– Do you know the word “demeaning”? – No.
我们想对你说…
We are saying to you…
我无法集中精神听这个老头说的话
I could not concentrate on what this old man was saying.
他们应该…
They should get paid…
我脑子里全是那个…
All I could think about…
穿夏威夷游泳裤的可爱♥女♥人♥
was this lovely woman in her red water panties.
这个CJ到底是谁?
Who was this C. J?
昨晚我在饭店房♥间的电视里…
Last night I see, in my hotel room…
看到一个叫CJ的女人
um, a woman called C.J. On television.
– 你认识她吗? – 不
– Do you know her? – No.
她来自一个叫”海岸救生队”的地方
She-a from a town called Baywatches.
– 她仅仅是在电视上而已 – 她的名字叫帕梅拉
– She’s just on television. – Her name is Pamela.
她住纽约这里吗?
Do she live here in New York City?
– 不不不 – 她住在加利福尼亚
– No, no, no. – She lives in California.
哦 住在加利福尼亚啊
Oh, in California.
– 噢 看来他要去找她 – 好吧 我们结束了吗?
– He’s gonna look her up. – Okay, are we finished now?
听着 猫咪们 笑一笑
Listen, pussycat, smile a bit.
好吧 就这样了