高材生

an unbelievably potent drug.
死藤水 但是是亚洲的
It’s like ayahuasca, but Asian.
亚洲死藤水
Asian-huasca.
我之前告诉过你们了 对吧
I told you guys that, right?
不不不不不不
No, no, no, no, no. I can’t…
不不不不不
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
把我拉回来
Pull me back in.
把我拉回来啊
Pull me back in.
我妈妈也有条那样颜色的围巾
Oh, my mom has a scarf that color.
听我说
Listen to me.
我们会没事的
We’re gonna be fine.
有一次我吐了
One time I threw up,
我妈妈用她的手接住的 因为她爱我
and my mom caught it in her hands, ’cause she loves me.
我们是健康的
We are healthy,
性感的年轻女性
nubile, young women,
我们只需要保持冷静
and we just need to stay calm.
我们会
We are gonna be…
什么
What?
这都是他妈的啥
What the fuck?
搞什么鬼 发生了什么
What the fuck? What is happening?
你为什么看起来那副鬼样啊
Why do you look like that?
莫利 你是个该死的娃娃
Uh, Molly, y– you’re a fucking doll.
不 你才是个该死的倒霉娃娃
No, you’re a fucking doll.
什么
What?
好疼啊
Ow! Fuck, that hurt.
还有我的大胸好沉啊 我失去重心啦
And my boobs are too heavy. I have no core.
我们的腿不会弯
Our legs don’t bend.
是身体的两倍长
They’re twice as long as our torsos.
真是逆天比例啊
These proportions are insane!
我的肥肉哪去了
Where’s my chub?
等等 你要去哪
Wait, where are you going?
这真是太疯狂了 等等我
This is crazy. Wait for me.
我得看看我现在的样子
I have to see for myself.
我这辈子可从来没劈过叉
Well, I’ve never done the splits in my life.
艾米
Amy!
救命 莫利 救我
Help! Molly, help me!
天啊 别往下看 艾米 别看
Oh, my God! Don’t look down, Amy, no!
我够不着
I– I can’t reach!
你得把我的鞋跟塞进你的洞里
You have to put my heel in your hole.
什么我的鞋跟
My heel…?
你的鞋跟塞到哪
Your heel in my what?
你的洞啊
Your hole!
哪个洞
What hole?
那个塞玉米的洞啊
The corn hole!
妈的
Oh. Fuck!
莫利
Molly!
我的妈呀
Oh, my God.
我穿着些什么鬼
Um, what the fuck am I wearing?
我的小妹妹去哪里了
Where’s my vag?
莫利 我没有生殖器了
Uh, Molly, I have no genitals.
我要怎么尿尿 怎么拉屎呀
How do I pee? How do I shit?
我是说
I mean, I
我甚至没有乳♥头♥
don’t even have nipples.
这里只有两坨不知道什么鬼
These are just mounds.
我整个身体就像一只该死的海豚
My whole body’s like a fucking dolphin.
就是 就是
Just… just…
如此完美 圆润
Perfect, round.
-前♥凸♥后♥翘♥ -额 什么
– Huge mounds. – Uh, what?
看看我的身体 我真好看
Look at my body. I am beautiful.
不 别陷太深了
No, don’t get sucked in.
这是我们的噩梦 艾米
This is our nightmare, Amy.
我知道这是不切实际的 对女人也不好
I know this is unrealistic and bad for women,
但是 真的那么差吗
but… is it bad?
因为我自我感觉良好啊
Because I feel pretty good.
我是说 看看这翘臀
I mean, this ass won’t quit.
艾米 动动脑子
Amy, use your brain!
我不需要动脑子 我只需要光滑和灵活
I don’t need to use my brain. I just need to be smooth and flexible.
看看这尤物啊
Look at you, you bad bitch.
好的 到此为止 我们必须醒来
Okay, that’s it, we have to wake up.
我 滴 妈 呀
My, my, my. Mm.
我觉得我可以在这里多待一会儿
I think I might, like, actually stay here for a while.
不 我不会让你这么做的
No, I won’t let you do this.
停下 停下 停下 停下
Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop!
我要让你吐出来
You need to throw up.
让我拥有这个身体吧
Let me have this body!
既然作为前菜的枣椰培根卷已经吃完了
Now that the amuse-bouche of bacon-wrapped dates is over,
我们不如来一场振奋人心的控诉吧
why don’t we play a rousing round of J’accuse!
去你♥妈♥的♥ 乔治
Fuck you, George.
她演的是谁来着
Who is she supposed to be?
口腔正畸医生
The orthodontist.
我们没事了
We’re okay.
我们没事了
We’re okay.
我们做到了
We did it.
我们参加了两场派对 毒也吸了
We went… we went to two parties, we did drugs.
我们不再是书呆子了
We can say we went out.
-我们回家吧 -什么
– Let’s go home. – What?
不 我们计划好去尼克家的
No, the plan is to go to Nick’s.
我们必须坚持计划
We have to stick to the plan.
姐们 今晚没什么事是按计划来的好吗
Dude, nothing has gone according to plan tonight.
正因此我们更加应该坚守计划
Which is why we have to stick to the plan.
我们再叫一辆滴滴吧
Let’s call another Lyft.
你为什么就是不达目的不罢休呢
Why are you being so pushy?
说实话 这是一种恭维
Honestly, pushy is a compliment.
你知道还有谁是不达目的不罢休的吗
You know who else was pushy?
黛安·索耶 圣女贞德
Diane Sawyer, Joan of Arc,
黛安·索耶：美国电视新闻记者，ABC《早安美国》前主播
-约旦的努尔王后 -我知道努尔王后来自哪里
– Queen Noor of Jordan- – I know where Queen Noor is from!
一旦我们到了尼克家 一切都值了
Once we get to Nick’s, all of this will be worth it.
忘了尼克的事吧
Just forget about about Nick’s!
我们连他家在哪都不知道
No one will even tell us where it is.
你为什么如此迷恋他的派对
Why are you being so obsessed with his party?
-因为她爱他 -我的上帝
– Because she loves him. – Oh, my God.
吉吉 别这样
Gigi, stop doing that!
-你说什么 -莫利爱尼克
– What did you say? – Molly loves Nick.
你能不能别再重复了
Can you please stop repeating that sentence?
因为这不是真的
Because it’s not true.
-莫利讨厌尼克啊 -谢谢你
– Molly hates Nick. – Thank you.
她表现出厌恶来掩饰内心深处的渴望
She projects disgust to cover up a deep desire.
不 不 不 谢谢
No. No. N-O. Thanks.
实际上是你给我们下药
Uh, you actually… You drugged us and
想把我们赶出这里
tried to throw us off a boat.
没错 就是我
I did. I did.
所以你说的话对我们没有任何价值
So nothing you say is of any value to us.
没错 不用在那对我竖中指了
Yeah, no, you can stop flipping me off
一边歇着去吧 闭上你的嘴
because you should flip off, so shut the fuck up.
市长女士 你在这里干什么
Madam Mayor, what are you doing out here?
乔治把自己锁在壁橱里了
George locked himself in the closet.
操
Fuck!
姐们
Dude.
不
No.
姐们
Dude?
不
No.
我不喜欢他
I don’t like him.
是的 也许他
Yes, maybe he is…
在传统意义上很英俊 很迷人
classically, traditionally handsome and weirdly charming,
也许我天性认为他是理想的伴侣
and maybe my innate biology registers him as an ideal mate,
是的 也许我偶尔会意淫一下
and yes, maybe I occasionally fantasize
他对我英雄救美的场景
about him sweeping me off my feet.
一些怂货可能会称之为小小的迷恋
And some weaker people might call that a tiny crush,
但我可以忽略它 甚至与之抗争
but I can ignore it, I can fight against it,
因为每个人都有些奇怪的迷恋
because we all have weird interests.