高材生

Principal Brown?
布朗校长是我爸
Principal Brown was my dad.
叫我乔丹就好
Just call me Jordan.
还是不要了 布朗校长
Uh… No, thank you. Principal Brown?
-怎么啦 -我
– Yes. – I’m so…
你有一个手♥机♥充电器吗
Uh, do you have a phone charger?
我没有一个
No, I don’t. Oh.
我有差不多十三个
Got like 13.
给你 接住
Yeah, here. Here you go. Catch.
你之前知道可以从那个角度搞吗
Didn’t know you could do that from that angle.
等一下 我错过了什么
Oh, wait, what did I miss?
-退回去 -划回去
– Go back, actually. – Yeah, scroll back.
-那部分 从这开始的 -在这
– The part… Wait, start right there. – Oh, there.
如果你们想听自己的音乐
If you guys want to listen to your music,
我可以把线插在这里
I can just plug it in up here.
不用 不用 不用
No! No! No! No! No!
卧♥槽♥
No, fuck!
真♥他♥妈♥的爽
That’s fuckin’ hot.
就这样
– Yes!
快点 快点
Come on! Come on!
别碰我
Don’t touch me.
刚才那是卡迪·B嘛
Was that Cardi B?
你 我的天哪
You… Oh, my God!
-你真是 -真不敢相信
– You are the… – I cannot believe it!
-你真是坏透了 -我要完蛋了
– You are the devil! – I’m gonna die!
我真的快要死了
I’m literally gonna physically die!
我的天哪
Oh, Jesus Christ.
进来吧
Come in.
他死了
He’s dead!
那是什么鬼
What the fuck?
他死了
He’s dead!
-谁死了 -我丈夫
– Who’s dead? – My husband.
他被杀了
He’s been killed!
好吧 艾伦 没必要每次有人来了
Okay, Alan, you don’t have to do your entrance
你都演一遍开场 好嘛
every time somebody arrives, okay?
你们俩怎么来了
What are you guys doing here?
这里什么情况
What is going on?
这是个谋杀神秘派对
It’s a murder mystery party.
我已经计划了好几个月了
I’ve been planning it for months.
等下 这是你家吗 艾伦
Wait, this is your house? Alan?
艾伦 我在短♥信♥里说得很清楚
Alan, I was so clear in my text
我们在找尼克的派对
we are looking for Nick’s party.
我的丈夫 罗伯特
My husband, Robert,
是一个受人尊重的百老汇导演
was an esteemed Broadway director
是我此生的挚爱
and the love of my life.
但是他却被杀害了
And he’s been killed.
就像大街上的一条狗一样
Like a dog in the street.
他是被捅了一刀吗
Was he stabbed?
听起来确实很悲惨
That sounds very tragic.
但是这里面有点误会
But there’s been a mistake.
我们是正在找尼克的派对
We’re looking for Nick’s party.
你们有地址吗 我们找不到那里
Do you have the address? We can’t find it.
我不知道什么尼克
I don’t know a Nick.
我只知道忧伤
I only know sorrow…
与悲痛
and grief.
好吧 你现在用了十分力
Okay, you’re at a ten.
我只需要你用两分
I need you at a two.
我要准备守灵了
I have a wake to plan.
好吧 既然你们已经来了
Okay, well, if you guys are here,
你们也可以拿到多余的角色
you might as well take some of the extra characters
因为有两个人不来了
since two people decided not to show up.
不是
No–
接下来
Okay.
一个刚进城的可爱农民
Adorable farmer new to the city.
我们不需要什么角色
We don’t need characters.
我们不会留在这的
We’re not staying.
丑陋的
Hideous
不会生育的 口腔正畸医生
barren orthodontist.
凭什么我就不会生育啊
Why am I barren?
我是来种地的 还是已经放弃这种生活了
Am I here to farm or have I given up that life?
这里就只写着 口腔正畸医生
This just says “orthodontist.”
你们的背景故事都在那个袋子里
Your backstories are in the packets.
不不 我们不会留下来的
No, no. We are not staying.
我们要去尼克的派对
We’re going to Nick’s party.
-我们可以只待 -不
– We can just stay for – No.
-那个有人吃魔鬼胡椒的派对吗 -对
– The one where someone ate a ghost pepper? – Yes.
我记得有人是从那个派对过来的
Yeah, somebody here came from there, I think.
好像是市长
Maybe the mayor.
快 赶紧入戏吧
Go! Immerse yourselves.
回顾一下你们在客厅里的历史
Review your histories in the parlor.
还有如果你们的角色没结婚
Okay, if your characters aren’t married,
就别腻歪在一起
hands off each other.
不要啊
No!
不要这么平静的死去
Do not go gently.
她可真好看
Oh, she’s really good.
哎呀妈啊 你们来啦
Oh, my God! You guys are here.
-你是怎么来的 -怎么回事
– How’d you get here? – What the fuck?
那你们是怎么来的
How did you get here?
还有你是怎么弄干自己的
And how are you dry?
那你呢
How are you dry?
阿朗 我可以看到你在呼吸
Aaron, I can see you breathing.
吉吉 再深入挖掘一下情绪
Gigi? Mm. Dig deeper.
我不知道怎么回事
I don’t know what… I don’t…
她就像
She was like
我不能想下去了
I can’t think about it.
结束了吗
Oh, is it over?
没有 停下来
No! Stop!
妈妈 不要跟演员们说话
Mom, do not talk to the actors!
这栋房♥子在11点以前都是我的
The house is mine till 11 pm.
辛迪 我发誓你再这样我就打死你
Cindy, I swear to fucking God!
我的妈啊 我的老天
Jesus Christ! God.
吉吉 你♥他♥妈♥在搞什么
Gigi! What the fuck?
姐♥妹♥们♥ 连任竞选就要开始了
Guys, the re-election is coming up
我要知道我能不能买♥♥到你们的选票
and I need to know if I have to buy your votes.
等等 你是市长吗
Wait, are you the mayor?
那你知道尼克的派对在哪里吗
Do you know where Nick’s party is?
我当然知道
Of course I do.
我知道所有派对的位置
I know where all the parties are.
哪里哪里
Where is it?
来我办公室 就现在
Come into my office, now.
好的 谢谢
Okay, thank you.
进进进 快快快 来来来 就现在
In, in, in. Go, go, go. Come, come, come. Now, now, now!
好吧
Okay.
你们谁也不能告诉
You can’t tell anyone.
我们不会的
We won’t.
你们彼此之间也不行
Not even each other.
好
Okay.
尼克的派对
Nick’s party…
就在
Is at…
他姑姑家
his aunt’s house.
我们知道在他姑
We know it’s at his au–
艾米 我向天发誓
Amy, I swear to God,
我必须马上离开这
I need to get out of here.
顺便说一下 我真的很惊讶
By the way, I am pretty impressed
你俩怎么都控制得这么好
with how well you guys are holding it together.
你们真的很棒
You’re doing fantastic.
你在说些什么啊
What do you mean?
我以为草莓现在应该起作用了
I thought the strawberries would have hit by now.
为什么草莓会起作用
Why would strawberries hit?
因为它们曾被浸泡在
Because they were dipped in
一种难以置信的强效药物中