高材生

-他干嘛总是这么做 -公正的镇民们
-Why does he always do that? – Fair townspeople!
公正的镇民们
Fair townspeople?
公正的镇民们 我对上帝发誓
Fair townspeople, I swear to God!
-什么事 -写下日程安排
– What? – Mark thy calendars
做好计划去参加戏剧社的夏日活动
and make thy plans to attend the drama department’s summer program,
公园 哦 不 停车场里的莎士比亚
Shakespeare in the Park… ing Lot.
我们会在镇上的全食超♥市♥外面
We will be performing the Bard’s comedies as modern tragedies
将莎翁的喜剧以现代悲剧的形式演绎出来
outside Whole Foods across town.
会非常有意思的 这是
Well, it’s actually funny. It’s…
这就是我们去年在巴塞罗那
It’s what we did in my summer program
夏日活动中做的事
last year in… Barcelona,
那时候我住在巴塞罗那
when I lived in Barcelona.
我做导演
I will be directing,
而艾伦
and Alan…
可能会是主演 等着试镜吧
may be starring, pending auditions.
我不试镜
I don’t audition.
我是唯一的主演
I’m offer only.
听起来很有趣 但是我到时候
This looks fun, but I’m not gonna…
我到时候不在这里
I’m not gonna be here.
对 艾米要去博茨瓦那过暑假
Yeah, Amy’s spending the summer in Botswana,
帮助女人们自己做卫生棉条
helping women make their own tampons.
有点
That’s…
恶心
gross.
鲜血会吸引狮子 我在拯救生命
Well, blood attracts lions. I’m saving lives.
好吧 那还挺高尚的 我也有大事做
Oh, okay. Well, that’s actually noble. I, too, have a fear of big cats.
我也不能去 因为我整个暑假都要打工
And I can’t because I’m working all summer,
而且我也不想去
and also, I don’t want to.
你真是没教养
You are a philistine.
你可以做辩论 为什么还要做戏剧
Why would you do theater when you could do debate?
因为有一些人喜欢和别人一起工作
Because some of us enjoy working with others.
有一些人知道怎么赢
And some of us know how to win.
穿成这样的人怎么都是输
Nobody’s winning in that outfit.
都坐好 我们有事要做了
Sit down, y’all. We got work to do.
所以 莫利
So, Molly…
-开始吧 -谢谢
– Why don’t you start us off? – Thank you.
结果了它
Kill it.
好了 或许你们还记得我昨天的分♥析♥
All right, well, as you might recall from my analysis yesterday,
-我们在讨论 -这是我们最后一天了
– we were talking about… – It’s our last day!
-让我们活着吧 上帝 -向上级提交
– Let us live! God! – …submitting to authority…
你要张开
You’ve gotta open…
你要再张大一点嘴 好吗
You’ve gotta open your mouth a little bit more, all right?
好吧 好吧 我明白 我明白
Yeah, okay, I gotcha, I gotcha.
好了 孩子们
Okay, chips!
好了就是这个 我明白 准备好了吗
All right, this is it. I gotcha. Ready?
哥们 我该怎么去那边 都是我的错
Dude, how am I supposed to get there? That was my bad.
-尼克 -你疯了
– Nick? – You’re wild.
等一下 等一分钟 过来
Wait, just one sec. Just… come on.
尼克 还有一些学生会的事要处理
Nick, there’s some student government stuff to go over.
再来一次 伙计 瞄准我的嘴
Come on, man, aim for my mouth!
我们要处理年终预算 所以如果你可以
We have to go over the end of year budget, so if you could…
我们在玩游戏看我能用哪里接住它
Yeah, just, we’re playin’ this game where I’ve gotta catch it with–
这很复杂
It’s complicated.
我会 我想我待会儿会给你打电♥话♥
I’ll… I’ll hit you later, I guess.
我也觉得很复杂
I’m sure it’s complicated.
我都不能相信我让尼克
I cannot believe I lasted an entire year
做了我一整年的副♥主♥席♥
with Nick as my vice president.
他对工作过敏 他只想游手好闲
He’s allergic to work. All he wants to do is goof off.
真让人生气
It’s infuriating.
去跟莱恩说句话
Go talk to Ryan.
什么 我不去
What? No.
好吧 因为我 我打算去跟莱恩搭讪
Cool, cool, ’cause I’m… I’m gonna go talk to Ryan.
-因为我有很多话要说 -别别别
– ‘Cause I have so much to say– – No, no, no.
好吧 好吧
Yeah? Fine.
我去
Just… I’m going.
-现在去 -这就对了
– Just gonna– – There she goes.
对不起 对不起 对不起
Oh, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
看着点 姐们
Oh, dude.
艾米
Amy.
没事 给你这个
It’s all good. Here you go.
手肘挺尖嘛
Sharp elbows.
没有你的下巴尖
Not as sharp as your… chin.
什么
What?
额 是不是很疯狂 今天是最后一天
Um… so isn’t it crazy that it’s– it’s the last day?
我知道 姐们 我都不敢相信
I know, dude. I can barely believe it.
你今晚要来参加尼克的派对吗
Are you gonna come to Nick’s tonight?
他姑姑去参加邮轮旅游 船抛锚了
His aunt went on a cruise ship that broke down,
所以尼克打算在他姑姑的房♥子里办派对
so Nick’s gonna throw a party at her house.
听着 听着很棒
That’s… that’s awesome.
就 就还好吧
It’s… it’s all right.
他们被困在船上
They’re, you know, they’re stuck on a boat
在桶里大便
shitting in buckets.
我不是那个意思
Oh, that’s not really what I meant.
天哪
Oh, Jesus.
-不是吧 坦纳 -好吧 那
– Come on, Tanner. – All right, well…
那好 回见
All right, I’ll see you later.
那我
I’ll just, um…
见鬼 见鬼 见鬼
Fuck. Fuck, fuck.
-你在做什么 回去 -见鬼
– What are you doing? Go back. – Fuck, fuck.
不行 太尴尬了 没脸见人了 算了
No, that was bad. That was bad. I’m good.
我都不知道她喜不喜欢女生
I don’t even know if she’s into girls.
她可是穿着Polo衫去参加舞会的
She wore a polo shirt to prom.
那只说明了她的性别表现
Well, that’s just her gender performance.
那和性取向是两回事
It’s different from her sexual orientation.
不好意思 我不明白
I’m sorry, but I don’t get it.
性别是一种观念
Well, gender is a construct of
不劳您费心 这点我还是懂的
No. Thank you. That much I understand.
但我还是没想到
It’s just… it’s a little bit shocking
你会喜欢莱恩
that… that you’re into Ryan.
迪士尼动画长片 讲述了一只名叫“杜翠丝”的猫妈妈和她的三只小猫的生活故事
你的初恋是《猫儿历险记》里的白猫
First crush, the little white cat from The Aristocats.
结果你画风一转喜欢上了艾薇儿
You go from that to Avril Lavigne.
这实在和我想得不一样
It just… it’s not… it’s not what I anticipated.
我喜欢她那种
I just like that she’s…
一直都很阳光的态度 她的笑容也很迷人
always in a good mood, and she’s got a really cute smile.
给人感觉和她一起过夜
She just seems like she’d be a really fun person
躺在一起聊天会很有趣
to have sleepovers and lie around with.
不好意思 打断你一下
Excuse me, pardon me.
和我过夜也很有趣
I’m a fun person to have sleepover with.
我们不都是这样
It’s literally all we do.
不过 和她一起 可能更会牵扯上
Well, with her, there’d be more…
下半身
vagina involved.
有道理
That’s fair.
她说尼克今晚要开派对
She said Nick’s having a party tonight.
他当然要开 他就是个脑残
Of course he would. He’s so fucking stupid.
毕业的前夜总有人会被抓进去
Somebody always gets arrested the night before graduation.
艾米 你知道等你明年到了哥伦比亚大学
Amy, do you know how many girls are gonna be up your vagina
有多少妹子等着你宠幸
at Columbia next year?
你知不知道 我可是很清楚
Are you aware of it? ‘Cause I’m aware of it.
到时候我每次去看你
Every time I come to visit you,
你肯定都在和妹子磨豆腐
you’re just gonna be scissoring a
而且还不是同一个妹子
different girl.
姐们
Dude?
没有磨豆腐这回事
Scissoring is not a thing.
-你先试试再唱反调 -没这回事
– Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. – It’s not a thing.
你先试试再唱反调
Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
我没唱反调
I’m not knocking it.
不如你先试试再说
How about you don’t knock it until you tried it.
金字塔尖上的人来了
Here comes the one percent.
那辆车就应该被送进博物馆
That car belongs in a museum.
搞毛啊 杰尔德 我让你送到门口
What the fuck, Jared? I said door-to-door.
送进死亡博物馆