蓝（1993）

片名：蓝
[注：BLUE是Derek Jarman的辞世之作，
拍这部电影时他因为艾滋病而几近失明，
此时他参与了一种治疗艾滋病的新药的试验。
整部影片用诗化的自述体语言
描述生命中最后的生活、治疗场景以及各种联想和回忆，
以意识的流动为线索串起宛若珠玑的人生片段，
就像一个长长的、柔美的、回味幽远的长镜头。]
You say to the boy open your eyes
你对那个男孩说 睁开你的双眼
When he opens his eyes and sees the light
当他睁开眼睛看到光明时
You make him cry out.
你却让他哭泣
Saying O Blue come forth
说着 噢 蓝色出现了
O Blue arise
噢 蓝色升起来了
O Blue ascend
噢 蓝色盘旋而上
O Blue come in
噢 忧郁已经降临
I am sitting with some friends in this café
我和几个朋友坐在咖啡馆里
drinking coffee
啜饮美味
served by young refugees from Bosnia.
为我们服务的是波斯尼亚的年轻流亡者
The war rages across the newspapers
报纸上依然战争肆虐
and through the ruined streets of Sarajevo.
萨拉热窝满布残垣断壁
Tania said:
坦尼亚说：
“Your clothes are on back to front and inside out.”
“你的衣服前后穿反了,里外还翻了”
Since there were only two of us here
I took them off
and put them right then and there.
因为那里只有我们俩 我当即把它们脱下重新穿好
I am always here before the doors open.
从开门前我就一直在那里了
What need of so much news from abroad
while all that concerns either life or death
当所有攸关生死的事情轰击着我大脑的时候
is all transacting and at work within me.
谁还会去关心那些外国的狗屁新闻啊
I step off the kerb and a cyclist nearly
knocks me down.
我走下台阶 险些被一个骑自行车的人撞倒
Watch your fucking eyes
妈的 你没长眼啊
Flying in from the dark
他从黑暗里突然出现
he nearly parted my hair.
他几乎扯断了我的头发
I step into a blue funk.
我一步步走进蓝色的恐惧
The doctor in St Bartholomew’s Hospital thought
圣巴多罗马医院的医生认为
he could detect lesions in my retina
他能检测到我视网膜的损伤
the pupils dilated with belladonna
瞳孔因颠茄的作用而放大
the torch shone into them with a terrible blinding light.
手电筒耀目的光照进来
Look left
Look down
向左看 向下看
Look up
Look right
向上看 向右看
Blue flashes in my eyes.
蓝色在我眼中闪过
Blue Bottle buzzing
丽蝇嗡嗡震动翅膀
Lazy days
懒洋洋的日子
The sky blue butterfly
Sways on a cornflower
天蓝色的蝴蝶自矢车菊丛中飞舞而来
Lost in the warmth
Of the blue heat haze
消逝在蓝色薄雾的温暖里
Singing the blues
吟唱着蓝调
Quiet and slowly
Blue of my heart
静谧 柔缓 我心之忧郁
Blue of my dreams
梦中的蓝色
Slow blue love of delphinium days
飞燕草漫野的时光中 那渐渐变得忧伤的爱
Blue is the universal love
蓝色是宇宙之爱
in which man bathes
it is the terrestrial paradise.
人们沐浴其中 那是人类的天堂
Blue
蓝色
I’m walking along the beach in a howling gale
在咆哮的狂风中 我漫步海滩
Another year is passing
又一年过去了
In the roaring waters
I hear the voices of dead friends
海潮轰鸣 我听见已逝好友的声音
Love is life that lasts forever.
爱是永恒的生命
My heart’s memory turns to you
我心中的记忆流向你们
David.
大卫
Howard.
霍华德
Graham.
格雷厄姆
Terry.
特里
PauI.
保罗
David.
大卫
Howard.
霍华德
Graham.
格雷厄姆
Terry.
特里
PauI.
保罗
David.
大卫
Howard.
霍华德
Graham.
格雷厄姆
Terry.
特里
PauI.
保罗
But
但是
what if this present
Were the world’s last night
如果现在就是世界末日
In the setting sun your love fades
落日余晖映照下 你的爱凋谢了
Dies in the moonlight
Fails to rise
在月光下死去 再也不能复活
Thrice denied by cock crow
鸡叫三遍后
In the dawn’s first light
黎明的第一束光射进来 又将如何
Look left
Look down
向左看 向下看
Look up
Look right
向上看 向右看
The camera flash
Atomic bright Photos
闪光灯一闪 照片出来
The CMV a green moon
then the world turns magenta
巨细胞病毒 那是一轮绿色的月亮 世界变了洋红色
My retina
Is a distant planet
我的视网膜 是遥远的行星
A red Mars
From a Boy’s Own comic
是少年漫画里的火星
With yellow infection
Bubbling at the corner
它的角落感染了黄色泡泡
I said this looks like a planet
我说那看起来像颗星球
The doctor says:
医生说：
” Oh, I think It looks like a pizza ”
“噢，我认为它看上去像块比萨饼。”
The worst of the illness is the uncertainty.
这病最糟糕的地方在于它的不确定性
I’ve played this scenario back and forth each
hour of the day for the last six years.
整整六年 我时刻都在演习生命终结的那一幕
Blue transcends the solemn
geography of human limits.
忧伤 超越了严格的人类极限
I am home with the blinds drawn
我在家 闭上百叶窗
H.B. is back from Newcastle
But gone out
H.B.刚从纽卡斯尔回来 不过又出去了
[注：H.B.是Derek的同性恋人，帮他度过了饱受艾滋病折磨的最后岁月。双目失明的Derek在日记里写下的最后一句话是：H.B.，true love。]
The washing Machine is roaring away
And the fridge is defrosting
洗衣机咆哮不已 冰箱在解冻
These are his favourite sounds
这是他最喜欢的声音
I’ve been given the option of being
an in-patient at the hospital
我可以选择
or coming in twice a day
to be hooked to a drip.
是否一天去医院输两次液
My vision will never come back.
我的光明永不回来
The retina is destroyed,
视网膜已被破坏
though when the bleeding stops
what is left of my sight might improve.
血不再流的时候 视力可能会略有改善
I have to come to terms with sightlessness.
我不得不进入失明前的倒计时
If I lose half my sight will my vision be halved?
是不是当我失去一半视力的时候 视野也只剩一半？
The virus rages fierce.
病毒继续肆虐着
I have no friends now who are not dead or dying.
我已经没有还活着的病友了
Like a blue frost it caught them.
他们像被蓝雾带走
At work, at the cinema,
在工作中、在电影院里
on marches and beaches.
在起航时、靠岸时
In churches on their knees, running,
在教堂跪拜时
flying, silent or shouting protest.
又或者奔跑、飞翔、静默或是大声抗♥议♥时
It started with sweats in the night
刚开始只是在夜里大汗淋漓
and swollen glands.
腺体肿大
Then the black cancers
spread across their faces
接着可怕的恶疾延伸到他们的脸上
as they fought for breath
当他们为呼吸而战的时候
TB and pneumonia hammered at the lungs
肺结核和肺炎攻击了他们的肺
and Toxo at the brain.
同时弓形虫侵入大脑
Reflexes scrambled
导致反射系统紊乱
sweat poured through hair
汗如雨下
matted like lianas in the tropical forest.
头发纠结得就像热带雨林的藤蔓
Voices slurred
声音渐渐模糊
and then were lost forever.
最终永远消失
My pen chased this story across the page
我的笔在纸上追寻着这个
tossed this way and that in the storm.
在风暴中辗转的故事
The blood of sensibility is blue