单亲度假村

来 我们开始了 把球传给我
And here we go, give me the ball
我们动起来
We will move
你在干嘛
What are you doing?
拉里
Larry? ?
快点 把球传给我
Come on, give me the ball.
牵制住他
Frighten him, let
你是在跳舞吗
Are you dancing?
你在干嘛
What are you doing?
接球
Take the ball
发生什么事了
What is happening?
不管了 接球吧
Just take the ball.
你怎么这样子走 是内衣不舒服吗
Why are you moving like that? Is it the bra?
如果是的话 脱掉 反正你也不需要
Because if it’s the bra, just take it off. You don’t need it any way
什么
What?
你去哪 我们才刚开始
Where are you going? We just started
你的孩子没事吧 他干嘛要穿内衣
Is your boy okay? Why does he wear a bra?
她是女孩
She’s a girl
你逊毙了
You suck
泰勒 慢点
Tyler , slow down
老妈 我们的时速才四公里
Come on mom . We are going 4 miles per hour
够快了
That’s plenty fast. fast enough
又快又安全
Fast and safe
帕尔默小姐 开快点没事
Miss Palmer . It’s okay to go fast
好的 马法那
Ok Mfana
看我的
Watch me!
你开错方向了
You are going the wrong way!
小心 老奶奶
Watch out, grandmother!
我的错
My bad
我们的混合家庭之旅进行得很好
The blending process is really going well for us
我老公的十三岁的儿子
My husband’s 13-year-old
还在和我闹矛盾 不喜欢我
still has some hatred issues towards me
但是肢体冲突减少了
But it is becoming less physical
这是个好的开始
So it’s a start
那很好啊
Good for you
我早上醒来 发现脸上盖着一个枕头
I woke up this morning with a pillow pressed against my face
但是我能感觉到他有一点内疚
But I could sense some guilt afterwards
这也是一种进步
So that’s progress
坚持住 姐♥妹♥们♥ 胜利的曙光就在前方
Hang in there ladies, there is a light at the end of the tunnel
这个小天使终于把我当成
This little angel here is finally starting to think of me
她第二个妈妈了
as her second mom
而不是把我误认为她之前的体操老师
Not just her former gymnastics teacher
你在画什么 宝贝
What are you drawing honey?
一只大象在踩你的头 踩死你
It’s a picture of elephants stomping on your head and making you dead
不要笑
Stop it
别担心 在非洲发生的事都会留在非洲
Don’t worry, what happens in Africa, stays in Africa
我们来碰拳吗
Bump my fist?
-他太幽默了 -是啊
-Jim’s so funny -yeah
-抱歉 -为什么打这么多结
-I’m trying -Why did you tie it with so many knots?
我不想让它飞下来啊
I didn’t want it to come flying off
噢天哪 她的脸怎么了
Oh my God, what happened to her face?
我画的 画的是Hello Kitty
I painted it. She is a kitty cat
你是画了眼影吗
Are you wearing eye shadows?
我本来帮他画了公主但是他洗掉了
I made daddy a princess but he washed the paints off
洗不太干净 他看起来有点像Lady Gaga
Well not all the way off because he looks a little like Lady Gaga
为什么他带着个头盔
Why is this kid wearing a helmet?
你是又要抱着他回去睡觉吗 还是怎么样
Are you carrying him to bed again or something?
不 我打了太多结
No, I tied the chain strap too many times
然后解不开
I can’t get it off
在体育店上班的好处就是
Best thing about working at a sporting goods store
随身带有瑞士军刀
Swiss Army Knife
-小心点 -我会慢慢来的
-Just be careful -I’ll go easy
谢谢你
Thank you
爸爸我要上厕所
Daddy I gotta go to the bathroom
现在要吗 好吧
You do? Ok
她可以带我去吗
Can she take me?
她有自己的事要做 你要去干嘛 一还是二
She’s got her own life to live. What do you gotta do? One or two?
-一 -我可以陪她去
-Number 1 -I can handle this
-好 -你要帮我看着他
-Ok -Will you watch him?
我说的真的是眼睛盯着
And I mean , watch him
好 我会的 擦干净点
Yes, I got it. Home slice.
-好的 -不要忘了
-OK -For sure
-一代表的是什么 -尿尿
-What’s number 1 again? -It’s pee pee
-有时候他擦得太用力了 -他肯定不是故意的
-And sometimes he wipes too hard. -I’m sure he doesn’t mean to
他不是 他是个好爸爸 可惜没有小妹妹
No he’s a good daddy . He just doesn’t have a virgina
哦宝贝 我们洗手吧
Ok honey, let’s wash your hands
他是个坏爸爸 把我画的像行尸走肉里的
He’s a bad daddy . He made me look like the Walking Dead
不
Oh no!
没事
OK .
没事的
All right.
我们来看看魔术包里面有什么
Let’s see what we have in the magic bag here
太好了
Perfect
没事的
All right.
你长得好漂亮
You’re pretty
你更漂亮
You’re prettier
-我说你很漂亮 -闭嘴 等我擦干净你的脸
-I said you are. -Shut up and let me do your makeup
可能他们在那
Maybe that’s where they are.
泰勒
Tyler?
泰勒快下来 马上
Tyler , get off that dodo bird right now!
没事的 安全管♥理♥员♥会确保我们安全的
Everything’s fine. The safety instructor is on top of it
耶 我赢了 我是非洲之王
Yes, I win, I’m the King of Africa
迎接赢家吧
A winner!
你在开什么玩笑
Are you kidding me?
你就是个白♥痴♥ 好吗
You’re a moron, okay?
他可能会扭伤脖子
Because he could have broken his neck
妈妈 你看到了吗
Mom, did you see that?
我跳下来稳稳落地 像斗牛舞的姿势
I stuck the landing and did the bull dance
-我看到了 -妈妈 谢谢你带我来这里旅游
-Yes, I saw it. -Thank you so much for taking me on this trip, Mom
今天是我人生中最棒的一天
This is the best day of my life
好吧
Ok
太好了
Great, good
我爱你
I love you so much
知道你玩的开心我很高兴
I’m so glad you’re having fun
不用谢谢我
You’re welcome
太感谢你了
Thank you very much
你为什么朝我爸爸竖中指
Why are you flipping my dad off?
我没有
Huh? I’m not.
看看 有个白人女孩
Check out white girl in the neighborhood
我说的对吗兄弟们
Am I right? My brothers?
我还是不敢相信你♥爸♥喜欢我妈
I can’t believe your dad’s into my mom
他不喜欢你妈 是你妈喜欢我爸
He doesn’t like her, she’s into him.
不可能 他是个土肥圆
No way. He’s a goofy and flabby all over
我妈妈是个美丽的女人 身材火♥辣♥
My mom is gorgerous with a rocking body.
那句话好恶心
Hey that’s sick, man
你没听到上下文
That was out of context!
有上下文吗
Was it?
你应该上去跟他说话
You know. You should just go talk to him.
他可不会咬人
Because he probably won’t bite
我不行
Oh, no, no, I can’t.
家里有男朋友了
Got a boyfriend back at home?
我们学校的男生都以为我是拉拉
Please. All the guys at my school pretty much assume I’m a lesbian
还不是火♥辣♥的那种
And not the hot kind
呃 你有没有想过
Well, have you ever considered, say like…
换个发型
Changing your hair style?
我们的理发师只会剪这种 还有寸头
Our barber only really knows how to do this and crew cuts
-所以 -理发师
-So…-A barber?
街边的理发店那种
Like the kind with a pole outside?
他给我爷爷剪头发
He cut our grandfather’s hair
给我爸爸剪头发
He cuts my dad’s hair
现在给我们剪头发
And now he cuts our hair
我可以
May I just…?