单亲度假村

嘿 这里面什么情况
hey, how are we doing in here?
我在和妈妈说话
I’m talking to mom
太好了 你们说了什么
Great, what do they talk?
女生的话题
Things Girl
好吧 只是想让你知道我也很会聊女生的话题
Ok, so you know me too I’m good with girly things
抱歉 等我一下
Excuse me a moment
谢谢你 爸爸 但是
Thanks Dad, but
我只想和妈妈说
I just want to talk to Mom
那行 那行
Sure, sure
代我向她问好
Greet her from me
我没有贴纸了
I already ran out of stickers
你的脸也快贴完了 你怎么了
Now you’re out the face, What happened to you?
现在我可以和奥斯本一起玩吗
Can I play with Espn now?
奥斯本想静静地呆着
Espn is on her time alone
和隐形的妈妈在一起
With Mom invisible?
是的 我们看不见
Invisible, yes
-只有奥斯本一个人能看得见 这不公平 -我知道
How can you see it? -I know
我真希望我能看到妈妈
I wish I could see her
我也是
Me too
来 木哇
Come here
-吃奶酪通心粉吗 -奶酪通心粉
Macaroni and cheese? -Macaroni and Cheese
好的
Yes!
我是说 他在到处看 到处找你
He’s looking around, looking for you
你明明知道是今天 我都标记在日历上了
You knew it was today I put on the calendar
劳伦 开会的时间比我估计的长 你想我怎么样
Lauren, the meeting is longer than I expected. what do you want from me?
我只是想要你当好爸爸就可以了 我受不了了
You know what, I just want you to be a dad
你为什么不去附近的小吃店
Why do not you go to the
问问有没有镇定药卖♥♥
cafeteria to see if they sell “Tranquilizer pills”?
镇定药
“Tranquilizer pills”?
你怎么不滚回九十年代
Why do not you go back to 1990?
你居然来看棒球赛
You are at a baseball game?
我要和迪克去神秘旅行
I’m going on a mystery tour Dick
听起来很棒啊
That’s great
我根本不知道我们要去哪 他太多奇思妙想了
I have no idea where we’re going, he is so funny
我好激动
I’m so excited
接下来出场的是 23号♥击球手 泰勒雷诺兹
Tyler Reynolds!
加油 泰勒
Well, go Tyler!
-加油 泰勒 -让这孩子上场
go Tyler -This bat boy?
这是规定 每个孩子都得参加两局
Well, everyone has to play
就算是他这样子的孩子都可以上
Even kids like him
你最好闭上你的鸟嘴
Best you shut
要不然我把整个拳头塞进你嘴里
Or I’ll put my whole fist in your mouth
那个投手多少岁 他看起来像个纳斯卡赛车手
How old is this pitcher? Looks like a Nascar driver
-一振 -要不要这样
-Strike -Come
没事的 宝贝 振作起来
It’s ok , honey. Shake it off.
噢 不 他要崩溃了吗
Do not give you attack it?
不 他还有两次机会 没事的
No, you have two more chances will be fine
好了 我现在该走了
Ok, I better go now then
噢 对了 我需要休一个星期假
By the way, I need a week off
噢 好 没问题 假期是什么时候
Yeah sure, when’s the vacation?
从今天起两个星期
Two weeks from today
等一下 这可不行
Wait, no, that’s not gonna work
因为现在是春假 我要照顾孩子们
It’s spring break and I’ve gotta take care of the boys
-二振 -什么
Strike 2 -What?
没事的 宝贝 你可以的
It is ok sweetie, you got this
等这孩子出局的时候看下他会怎样
Check out what happens when the kid strikes out
如果你不马上闭嘴我会打死你
If you do not shut up now I will destroy you
他妈的混♥蛋♥
Fucking asshole
我还以为马克会带孩子们去漂流
I thought Mark would come to the game
噢 真是意外啊 他取消了
For variety, canceled
出差
Business trip?
现在我绞尽脑汁在想一个比那更好的计划
Now I am racking my head to figure out how to compete with that
你没办法 没时间了
You won’t, there is no time
为什么我们都要呆在家里呢
Why not stay home?
你是世界上最好的伙伴
You’re the best business partner ever
-三振出局 -我讨厌死这样了
Strike three -I hate this
我好逊
I suck!
天哪 又来了
Oh God, here we go again
也许你们应该试试羽毛球
Maybe you should try badminton
也许你该试试漱口剂
Maybe you should try mouth-wash
-除臭剂 -和睾丸酮补充剂
And deodorant -And some testosterone supplement
还有伟哥
And some viagra
我猜的
I’m just assuming
还要刮一下你脖子
And shave your neck
它好多毛
It is very hairy
什么
What?
不
Not
该死的
Damn it
-爹地 -嗯
Daddy? -Yes
你想念妈咪的什么
What do you miss about Mommy?
我想念妈咪的什么
What do I miss about mommy
全部
Everything
我想念她的大笑
I miss her laugh
她的微笑
And her smile
我想念她遗传给你的小鼻子
And I miss his little nose that she gave to you
幸好你没有遗传我的 要不然你看起来就会很奇怪
Luckily you did not inherit mine . Or you’d look very weird
是啊
Yeah
我想念我们每次看奥兹国的女巫的时候
I miss every time we saw movies
-我很爱那部电影 -我知道
-I love that movie -I know
她会给我们唱里面所有的歌♥
She would sing all the songs to us
特别是那首 彩虹之上
Especially “Somewhere over the rainbow ”
你知道我最想念什么吗
You know what’s the most I miss about her?
什么
What?
告诉她我有多爱她
forgetting to tell her how much I love her
你被允许对其他人做这件事吗
Are you are allowed to do that with someone else?
我被允许吗
Am I allowed?
你妈妈临走之前
Your mother, before she left
一直在叫我
All she was talking about is
去找另一个
me finding somebody else
但我告诉她我不能 因为她是我唯一的最爱
But I told her I can’t because she is my one and only
妈咪怎么说
What did Mommy say?
你妈妈说
Your mom said
我的心很大
My heart is so big
大到足够容纳两个人
that it has room for two
这是我想念你妈妈的另一个地方
That’s another thing I miss about your mother
她真的认为我很厉害
She actually thought I was awesome
我觉得你很厉害 爹地
I think you’re awesome, daddy
谢谢
Thanks
嘿 爸爸 额
Daddy?
我有些私事 然后我需要借你的车
I have a personal effand and I need to borrow the car
这样 我不在的时候你还不能开
Well, you can not drive without me yet
而且必须有人在这里陪着你妹妹
And somebody has to stay here with your sisters
爸 我有 私事
Dad, I have a “Personal errand”
那是什么意思 你要去打某个人吗
What does that even mean? Are you taking a hit out on somebody?
爸爸 她来大姑妈了
Dad, she is menstruating
-什么 -我来例假了
What? -I have my period!
噢 我忘了你会有这些
I forgot you get those
珍珠卫生棉
Tampax Pearl
清洗液 清新气味
Refreshing
含药 和 甜蜜浪漫
Medicated and sweet romance
好的 现在我们还不需要甜蜜浪漫
Yes, let’s not be doing this romance quite yet
体蔚女性清洁剂
Poisw feminine wash, Poise
体慰 这发音有点接近了 伙计
Poise? ? , That’s a little close , guy
永洁
Always clean?
其实我也能用用
I could actually use those
女神杯 是什么 拿来冲咖啡的吗
What is a Diva cup? Is that to make coffee?
我不明白
I don’t know
你们用哪种的
What kind do you guys use?
-不 -你好
No! -Hello
不要告诉我
Do not tell me