灼热的马鞍（1974）

那我们怎么做？我们没有时间 人手也不够
How’re we going to do it? We don’t have the time nor the people.
错！那就是错的原因
Wrong! There’s why.
他们是什么人？
Who the hell are they?
铁路工人
Railroad workers.
他们同意帮助我们实现梦想
They’ve agreed to help us make our dream come true.
他们要求的回报就是一小块土地
And all they ask in return is a little plot of land…
他们能够称之为家园
…they can call their own to homestead.
你们怎么说？
What do you say?
我们可以给这些黑鬼和中国佬土地
We’ll give some land to the niggers and the chinks…
但是爱尔兰人不行
…but we don’t want the Irish!
没交易
No deal.
大草原个屁
Ah, prairie shit!
所有人都行
Everybody!
上帝啊
Oh, Lord…
今晚我们是否有力量
…do we have the strength…
执行这个神圣的计划？
…to carry on this mighty task in one night?
还是我们会玩完？
Or are we just jerking off?
阿门
Amen.
好了 搞定了
Okay, okay, we have done it.
我们看看战果如何
Now, let’s see what we have done.
现在 你们将要进行伟大的十字军东征
Men, you are about to embark on a great crusade…
消灭西部逃亡的正派力量
…to stamp out runaway decency in the West.
现在你们冒着生命危险
Now you will only be risking your lives…
同时我也在冒失去奥斯卡提名
…whilst I will be risking an almost certain Academy Award nomination…
最佳男配角的危险
…for Best Supporting Actor.
现在举起你们的右手宣誓
Now raise your right hand for the pledge.
右手
Right!
现在跟着我说 我…
And repeat after me. I…
你的名字
…your name…
你的名字
…your name…
笨蛋
Schmucks!
保证效忠
…pledge allegiance…
保证效忠
…pledge allegiance…
海德利·拉玛
…to Hedley Lamarr…
效忠海蒂·拉玛
…to Hedy Lamarr…
是海德利
That’s Hedley!
是海德利
…that’s Hedley…
以及他所支持的
…and to the evil…
以及他所支持的
…and to the evil…
邪恶
…for which he stands!
邪恶
…for which he stands!
现在去做巫毒教的…
Now go do that voodoo…
你们最擅长的！
,,,that you do so well!
别高兴了 我们有麻烦了
Hold the happiness. We are in trouble.
我们忘记了一些小细节
Yep! We forgot one little detail.
没漏什么 东西都在这里 直到最小的栓马柱
Nothing is missing. Everything is here, down to the last hitching post.
没有人
People. There are no people.
不要慌张
Now don’t panic. Don’t panic.
我们刚做了一个非常完美的石脊镇的复♥制♥品
We just made a perfect copy of Rock Ridge.
现在我们要做的 就是复♥制♥一个完美的自我
Now all we’ve got to do is make perfect copies of ourselves.
可是他们半个小时后就会来这里
But they’ll be here in half an hour.
好吧 那么我们要赶紧开始干活了
Right, so we’ve got to start working fast.
你们去搞假人 吉姆和莽哥跟我来
You men start working on the dummies. Jim and Mongo, come with me.
我有办法牵制住他们
I’ve got an idea that will slow them down to a crawl.
好的 我们走
All right, let’s go!
对 好极了
Yeah, that’s nice.
屁王高速路收费站！
Le Petomane Thruway!
那混♥蛋♥下一步还想怎样？
Now what will that asshole think of next?
谁有零钱？
Has anybody got a dime?
没有 我没零钱
Oh, no….
找人他妈的回去拿零钱
Somebody’s got to go back and get a shit-load of dimes.
快点 否则我们永远到不了石脊镇！
Hurry up. Speed it up or we’re never going to get to Rock Ridge!
快点 过去
Come on, move them through!
他们在过收费站
Well, they’re through the tollbooth.
瞧 他们上当了
Look at this, they’re buying it!
好了 来了 捂住耳朵 乡亲们
All right, here we go. Hold your ears, folks!
精彩时刻到了
It’s show time!
没反应
Nothing!
怎么办？
What are we going to do?
他们随时会发现这镇是假的
Any minute now they’re going to discover the town is fake and pull out!
你是不是可以从这里对着那开枪
You think you could squeeze off a little shot from here…
引爆♥炸♥药？
…and set off the dynamite down there?
我试试
I’ll give it a try.
上帝 保佑这个人的眼睛
Oh, Lord, keep this man’s eye keen…
上帝保佑…
…and may God grant…
是假的
It’s a fake!
我们上当了
We’ve been suckered in!
乡亲们 消灭他们
Okay, folks, let’s wipe them out!
上帝 原谅我吧
Forgive me, Lord!
你个婊♥子♥
You son of a bitch.
对不起
Oh, sorry! Sorry!
放开手！伸出屁♥股♥
“Throw out your hands,stick out your tush.
手放到臀部上！推一推
“Hands on your hips,give them a push.
你会惊讶 你在唱“法式错误”的歌♥
“You’ll be surprised,you’re doing the French Mistake.
瞧！
Voil?”
好了 停
All right, cut!
错了！
Wrong!
看着我 很简单
Just watch me. It’s so simple!
一群娘娘腔
You sissy Marys!
给我重放！看着我 玻璃
Give me the playback. And watch me, faggots!
妈的
Shit!
看清楚没？ – 是
Have you got it? – Yessssssss.
听起来就像漏气
Sounds like steam escaping!
开始！等到我说
Action! Okay, wait until I get out.
重放
Playback.
停
Cut!
你们究竟在这里干什么？
What in the hell do you think you’re doing here?
这是演播室
This is a closed set!
给我尿一边儿去 我给梅尔·布鲁克斯打工
Piss on you! I’m working for Mel Brooks.
别打脸
Not in the face!
谢谢
Thank you.
他们打巴迪！上 美女们
They’ve hit Buddy! Come on, girls!
你个庸俗大便
You vulgar shit!
你这个可悲的脂粉男
Why, you miserable pansy!
我停在食堂旁边
I’m parked over by the commissary.
你这个十恶不赦的小畜生
You brute, you brute, you vicious brute!
好了
All right, all right…
乔伊 你还剩下多少天?
How many days do you have left, Joey?
在碉堡那幕之后就没戏唱了
They lose me right after the bunker scene.
这是怎么了？
What the hell is that?
拿起馅饼 打馅饼战吧！
Get your pies for the great pie fight!
这是电影制片厂的食堂…
This is our Studio commissary…
有些好莱坞明星到这里吃饭 请排好队
…where some Hollywood stars come to eat. Keep in line.
现在 我们去特效部
And now we’ll go to the Special s Department.
北佬豆子汤 油淋青菜 金枪鱼惊喜餐！
Yankee bean soup, cole slaw and tuna surprise.
计程车
Taxi!
送我离开这部电影
Drive me off this picture!
中国戏院 “闪亮的马鞍”上映中
你项链掉了
You dropped your beads.
一张 谢谢
One, please.
要学生票
Uh, student.
你开玩笑？
Are you kidding?
讨厌的家伙
Pain in the ass.
看 我在海蒂·拉玛的鞋子里！
Look, Herman, I’m in Hedy Lamarr’s shoes!
是海德利
Hedley!
小饼干
对不起
Sorry!
靠
Shit!
别动
Freeze it!
好的 出枪
Okay, Lamarr, go for your gun.
等等 我没武器
Wait, wait, I’m unarmed.