冰刀双人组 Blades of Glory（2007）

Hi. It’s Jimmy MacElroy. Is Katie there?
麦克罗伊要找她
It’s MacElroy, for her.
什麽?找我?为什麽?
What? For me? Why?
-我办不到 -我会教你
– I can’t do it. – I’ll coach you. Get on the phone.
Stranz?
喂?
Hello?
「嗨,是我麦猛♥男♥,你好」
Okay. “Yo. It’s the Mac attack. What up?”
嗨,是我麦克猛♥男♥,你好
Yo. Hi. It’s the Mac attack. What up?
好,说： 「哦,老天 我刚洗完澡出来」
Okay. Say, “Oh, my, you’re just catching me getting out of the shower.”
-捧捧自己 -安静好吗?
– Sell yourself. – Will you be quiet?
你知道 我刚洗完澡出来
You know, you just caught me getting out of the shower.
-她刚洗完澡 -我喜欢
– She just got out of the shower. – Oh, me likey.
-我等一下再打 -不!你疯了吗?
– I have to call her back. This is so rude. – No! Are you insane?
继续讲,说： 「洗澡」?
– She’s gonna hear you. – Get back on the phone. Say, “Shower?
「我也该洗个澡 因为我刚从健身房♥…
“I gotta get me one of those ’cause I just got back from the gym
练完弓箭跨步回来」
“doing my squat thrusts.”
我要…对,洗澡,我要洗个澡…
I gotta… Yeah, shower. I need one of those
因为我刚从健身房♥练完弓箭跨步回来
’cause I just got back from the gym doing my squat thrusts.
弓箭跨步一定很难,非常难
“Squat thrusts must be hard, real hard.”
弓箭跨步很难
Squat thrusts are hard.
-“非常难” -非常难
– “Real hard.” – Real hard.
对,很难,但大腿酸痛的感觉很值得
“They’re hard, all right. But it’s worth it to get a sweet burn deep in your thigh.”
但大腿酸痛的感觉很值得
It’s worth it to get a deep burn in my sweet thighs.
「你知道要怎麽舒缓酸痛吗?
“You know how you can soothe a nasty burn?
「敷上甜奶油」
“Pour some sweet cream on it.”
你知道要怎麽舒缓酸痛吗?
Do you know what you can do for a burn?
敷上甜奶油
Pour sweet cream on it.
哦,我的天,你找到一头野猫
Oh, my God, you’ve bagged a wild lynx.
说： 「听起来你的奶油 需要好好搅拌」然后…
Okay, say, “Sounds to me like your cream needs to be whipped”,
and then go…
不知道你想不想找个时间去吃冰?
I was wondering if you wanted to get a snow cone sometime?
What?
好,我喜欢
Yeah. I would like to get a snow cone.
我两年没吃了
I haven’t had a snow cone in a couple of years, actually.
要性感一点
No, you have to be sexy.
说你要冰柱
Say you want a snow boner. Snow boner.
好,今晚八点,好
8:00 tonight. That sounds great.
「让我有时间除胸毛」
It will “get me time to get my jugs waxed.”
好,今晚见
Okay. Well, I’ll see you.
怎麽啦?她说什麽?
What happened? What’s the word?
今晚八点,我们办到了!
8:00 tonight. We did it!
哦,我的天!
Oh, my God!
举得好
Nice lift.
好,听著,你们在全国选拔赛 勉强过关
All right, listen up. You guys barely squeaked by at Nationals.
我们要怎麽赢过…
How are we gonna compete against teams
训练多年的团体?
that have been doing this for years?
只有一个方法
There’s only one way.
好,你们有什麽是别的队伍没有的?
Okay. What do you guys have that none of the other teams have?
-两根棒子 -没错
– Twin dongs? – Exactly.
我们要做出两个男的才做得到的动作
We have to do something that only two men can do together.
之前没有人看过
Something never seen before.
杰西,放带子
Jesse, put in the tape.
杰西,快,放带子
Come on. Put in the tape, Jesse.
谢谢
Thank you.
吉米,我没跟你说过 我以前是双人滑冰教练
Jimmy, I never told you this before, but I used to coach pairs.
我就要获得训练奥♥运♥代表队的机会
I was on track to head up the Olympic squad.
我好想要这个机会 所以我发明了一个动作
I wanted it badly, so I developed a move.
一个全世界没看过的动作
A move the likes of which the world had never seen before.
一个具革命性又危险的动作…
A move so revolutionary, so dangerous
能将双人组合送上冠军宝座
that it would have catapulted the team that stuck it straight to the top.
就像许多革命性的想法…
And like many revolutionary ideas,
这个动作把大家吓坏了
it just scared the shit out of the establishment.
所以我辞职
So I quit.
我把这个动作带到一个 疯狂到愿意尝试的地方
And I took it to the one place on earth batshit crazy enough to give it a try.
北♥韩♥
North Korea.
当然
Of course.
就在竹幕后面,他们叫它…
Behind the Bamboo Curtain, they call it
「铁莲花」
“The Iron Lotus.”
看看动作多美多优雅
Look at the grace, the beauty.
他们几乎办到了,但是…
They almost have it, until…
哦,我的天
Oh, my gosh.
好,怎麽样,要不要试试看?
Okay. What do you say, let’s give it a try?
-你疯了吗? -什麽?这太疯狂了
– Are you nuts? – What? That’s crazy.
你们在说什麽?
Come on, what are you talking about?
经过这麽多年,我知道错在哪裡
See, after all these years, I know what went wrong.
力学不对
The physics were off.
他们是一男一女,所以办不到
It was a man and a woman, that’s why it didn’t work.
你们是两个男的,应该可以
You’re two men. You should be fine.
警告你们,要尊敬铁莲花
Be warned. The Iron Lotus demands your respect.
却斯,你不能再当孤独的狼
She has no time for lone wolves, Chazz.
吉米,你要能即兴演出
Jimmy, you’ve gotta be willing to improvise.
你们是最后两块拼图
You two are the last pieces of the puzzle.
来吧!拼起来!
Go on! Fit them together!
加速
Keep your speed up.
加速!
Keep it up!
吉米!腿不要弯!
Jimmy! Don’t let your legs buckle!
快,却斯,专注!专注!
Come on, Chazz, focus! Focus!
我的卵蛋!
My nut-sack!
小心,我跟你不一样,这两颗有用的
You gotta be careful, man. Unlike you, I actually use these things.
是吗?那…好…
Oh, yeah? Well…
你说得对,我下次会小心点
Well, well, yeah, you’re right. I’ll try to be more careful next time.
对不起
Sorry.
我无意讨论你的卵蛋
Look, I didn’t mean to drag your balls into the discussion.
没有必要这样说 我没事,我反应过度了
That was uncalled for. They’re fine, I overreacted.
好,两位,起来继续练习
All right, gentlemen, let’s get up and try it again.
来吧
Let’s do this.
从小到大我最喜欢这裡
This was my favorite place growing up.
哦,你很漂亮
By the way, you look really nice.
真的?我喜欢你的发光牙齿项鍊
Oh, really? I like your glitter-tooth necklace thing.
谢谢
Oh, thanks.
弗伊,再给我一个蓝色的好吗?
Foy, can I have another blue one?
全国选拔赛你们表现得真好 把我哥和我姐吓坏了
You guys were so good at Nationals, it scared my brother and sister.
-他们要我监视你们 -真的?
– They wanted me to spy on you. – Really?
所以你才同意跟我约会?
Is that why you’re going out with me right now?
不!
No!
真的
Really.
我不在乎他们的输赢,我不在乎滑冰
I don’t care if they win. I don’t care about skating at all.
滑冰有什麽好?
I mean, really, what’s so great about skating, anyway?
不过就是滑来滑去表演两个跳跃…
It’s basically just gliding, trying not to fall,
试著不要摔倒
with a couple of jumps thrown in, right?
还有紧身衣、亮片,自大狂
And Spandex and glitter. Egos.
冰有什麽好
Ice blows.
对不起
Sorry.
但重点不是冰,是能在冰上做什麽
But it’s not the ice. It’s what the ice lets you do.
在冰上我觉得要做什麽都可以
Out there, I feel like I can do anything.
只有在冰上我的人生才有意义
It’s the only place where life makes sense.
你没滑过冰?
You’ve never skated?
小时候滑过一点点
When I was a kid, a little.
我哥和我姐不喜欢 别人偷走他们的焦点
But my brother and sister don’t like anyone to steal their focus.
我的一生只有焦点
My life was nothing but focus.
你知道我十岁的生日礼物是什麽吗?
You know what I got for my tenth birthday?
六瓶蛋白雪克饮料和男士健康杂♥志♥
A six-pack of protein shakes and a subscription to Men’s Health.
我没过十岁生日
I didn’t have a tenth birthday.
我姐跟我朋友说我持枪抢劫被关起来
My sister told all my friends I was in jail for armed robbery.
九岁时我爸坚持要我割包皮…
When I was nine, my dad insisted on having me circumcised
好降低风阻
to minimize wind resistance.
我爸妈载我去上滑冰课时出车祸死了
While driving me to skating practice, my parents were in a fatal accident.
我哥和我姐把错推给我…
My brother and sister blame me for their death
逼我做他们的奴隶
and they force me to work for them like a slave.
哇
Wow.
我从来没想过那个故事很浪漫
I never really thought of that as a romantic story before.
你的约会如何? 你的燻肠有没有机会破冰?
So, how’d it go with your lady? Carve up any ice with your wiener?