冰刀双人组 Blades of Glory（2007）

他是个複杂的男人
and let’s just say, he’s a complex man.
我有性瘾,我喜欢女人
I’m a sex addict and I’m attracted to women.
两个男人一起滑冰? 太扯了,会成为大笑柄
Two men skating together? That’s a riot. That’s a laugh riot.
我不觉得有什麽好笑
– I don’t see what’s so funny. – If you were as drunk as me, you would.
如果你跟我一样醉醺醺就会觉得好笑
我说过要参加双人滑冰但两个男的?
Look, Coach, I know I said I wanted to skate pairs, but two men?
就算我们愿意他们也不会准
Even if we wanted to, they’d never allow it.
没有法规禁止你们配对
But there’s nothing in the rule book that says you can’t.
那不是我的风格 却斯麦可麦可斯独来独往
That’s not my style. Chazz Michael Michaels goes it alone.
也就是没有教练和搭档
Okay? That means no coach and no partner.
更别说是个男的
Especially not a dude.
更别说是个被宠坏的有钱人家小孩
Especially not the precious and pampered Richie Rich.
你不知道自己在说什麽
Would you just shut up? You don’t know what you’re talking about.
我知道的比你认为的多
I know more than you think I know.
我知道的比你知道的多
Hell, I know more than you know you know.
你的技巧永远不及我
No, you don’t. You could never keep up with my flawless technique.
所以我在99年和02年才会打败你
That’s why I floored you in ’02 and the spring of ’99.
技巧无法带给你18面金牌…
Technique doesn’t get you 18 medals
和山口终身成就奖
and a Kristi Yamaguchi Lifetime Achievement Award.
-我代表花式滑冰 -不要说了!
– I am figure skating. – Stop it!
三年来我试著忘掉你们搞出来的恶梦
For three years I’ve been trying to get over the nightmare you two created.
看来我永远忘不掉
I wasn’t sure I’d ever forget it.
也许胡言乱语中 我们能发掘美好的东西
Now maybe underneath all your bullshit, we can still find something beautiful.
教练,我不知道
I don’t know, Coach.
我真的很想拿金牌,但是…
I mean, I’m really desperate to win that gold, but…
但是什麽?小子 你的搭档找得如何?
But what? How’s the partner search coming, kid?
爱耍酷,有什麽好笑的?
What’s so funny, Cool Whip?
你很满意跟那些开价15块的妓♥女♥搞?
You getting a lot of satisfaction from those $15 hookers?
我从来没满意过,这是诅咒
I am never satisfied. It’s a curse.
还有12小时全国选拔赛就要结束登记
The registration for the National Finals closes in exactly 12 hours.
现在我问你们一个问题
Now let me ask you boys a question.
你们想不想创造历史?
Do you wanna make history?
不行,这个男的托不住我的胯下
No way. This guy could not hold my jock sweat.
我可以,试试看
I could hold it all day long. Try me.
-也许我会 -你应该试试
– Maybe I will. – Maybe you should.
你挑战我?
You challenging me, Princess?
我不是邀请你参加 滑冰联盟圣诞节派对
I’m not inviting you to the Skating Federation’s Annual Christmas Party.
-来啊! -好啊!
– Then bring it on! – It is on!
我们有共识了
Good. We’re in agreement then.
什麽?
– What? – What?
欢迎回到竞争激烈的滑冰比赛
Welcome back to competitive skating, gentlemen.
我明天早上来接你们
I’ll pick you up in the morning.
帮帮忙
Little help.
全国花式滑冰协会
来吧,好戏上场了
Here we go. Show time.
史坦兹,菲儿 我是ESPN的梅丽莎凯莉
Stranz. Fairchild. Melissa Kelly, ESPN2.
请问你们对这次比赛有什麽看法?
So, let me ask you, any thoughts on the competition?
一面新的金牌代表什麽?
And what does a new gold medal mean for you?
比不上赢得美国人的心
It doesn’t mean as much as winning America’s hearts.
That’s very important to us.
你们有三年没出赛了
Now we haven’t seen you in about three and a half years.
都在做什麽?
What have you been up to?
滑冰
Skating.
你们要把这次的演出
Now apparently you’re dedicating this performance
献给全世界的小孩
to the children of the world.
对不起
Sorry.
-却斯,把这个填好 -不要
– Chazz, fill this out. – No.
要
Yes.
吉米,我去拿你的
I’ll get yours, Jimmy.
那个女的是谁?
Who is that girl?
你是说凯蒂凡华丁堡?
You mean Katie Van Waldenberg?
史坦兹和菲儿的妹妹?
She’s Stranz and Fairchild’s sister?
菲儿和史坦兹的跑腿
Fairchild’s legs and Stranz’s ass.
很困脑对不对?
Mind bottling, isn’t it?
-你刚说「很困脑」? -对,很困脑
– Did you just say “mind bottling?” – Yeah, mind bottling.
当事情太疯狂
You know, when things are so crazy,
脑袋就像被困住
it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle.
好,来吧,大声又骄傲
All right, boys. Let’s go do this. Loud and proud.
你们两个在这裡干嘛?
What are you two doing here?
你们很清楚 我不会同意,他们被禁赛
You know damn well I’m not letting either of you sign up. They’re banned.
我不是帮麦可斯或麦克罗伊报名
I’m not here to sign up Michaels or MacElroy.
我是帮他们两个报名双人滑冰项目
I’m here to sign up the pairs team of Michaels and MacElroy.
谢谢
Thank you.
谢谢
这是各位的头条新闻
Now there’s your front page headline.
吉米,跟粉丝挥挥手好吗?
Jimmy, can you wave to the fans?
吉米和却斯在一起却没打架?
So Jimmy and Chazz together and no fighting, huh?
被遗忘的对手参加双人滑冰
两个男的参加我们的竞赛项目
Two men skating together and in our division, no less.
史坦兹,为什麽?
Why, Stranz?
为什麽这个全世界…
Why is God singling us out
都知道的超级苦难 上帝不让我们承受?
for the greatest suffering the world has ever known?
妹,我不知道,他们不过是两个怪胎
I don’t know, sis. Those two are nothing but a couple of freaks.
对,媒体喜欢怪胎
Yeah, and the media loves freaks.
害我血脉喷张
Makes my blood boil.
我们热爱这项运动 他们要毁掉它的尊严
And all they’re doing is just leeching the dignity out of our beloved sport.
我不主张暴♥力♥…
You know, I’m not a violent person
但我要把他们压倒在地 用冰刀划开他们的喉咙
but I would like to hold them down and skate over their throats.
如果你们把焦点放在滑冰上…
Guys, maybe, maybe if you concentrate on the skating
大家就会忘记这些宣传花招
people will forget all the hype
专注在单纯的运动…
and they’ll focus on the purity of the sport
以及公平竞争的运动精神
and the spirit of honest competition.
你们又要耍诈了?
You guys just want to cheat again, don’t you?
-好主意 -感觉好多了
– That’s a good idea. – Much better.
凯蒂,这个录影机拿去?
Katie, please, will you just take this camcorder, okay?
我不知道怎麽开机,谢谢
I don’t know how to turn it on. Thank you.
不,我不会再当你们的间谍
No, I’m not spying for you again.
只要小心拍下他们练习的情况
We’re just asking you to discreetly tape their practice routines.
去找别人
Find someone else.
妈,你说什麽?
– What’s that, Mother? – Don’t.
你跟爸很难过…
You and Father are sad that you were killed
多年前为了载凯蒂上滑冰课 却因车祸丧生?
driving Katie to her ice skating lesson all those years ago?
我也是
Yeah. Me, too.
记得他们活生生的样子?
Remember how they used to be alive?
爸?
Papa?
爸,我听不到,你怎麽啦?你在哭?
I can’t hear you, Papa. What are you… You’re crying?
还在?在天堂?还没投胎?
Still? In heaven? You’re still dead?
-好,我去 -对嘛
– Fine, I’ll do it. – Yes.
现在你是凡华丁堡队的人
Now you’re playing for team Van Waldenberg.
好,这段时间你们要住在这裡
All right. You’ll be staying here for the duration.
一起滑冰,一起生活
You’re gonna skate as a pair. You’ll live as a pair.
如果要自保…
And if you’re at all interested in self-preservation,
最好把鞋子脱掉 兔得在巴巴里留下鞋印
you take off your shoes before you set foot on the Berber.
我们怎麽会踩在婴儿食物上?
Why would we step in baby food?
-他说的是地毯? -你是什麽东西?地毯博士?
– He’s talking about the carpet. Berber? – What are you? The Rug Doctor?
-也许我是 -我是地毯大♥师♥
– Maybe I am. – I’m the rug master.
-那是什麽东西? -闭嘴脱鞋
– What does that even mean? – Shut up and take off your damn shoes.
-上下舖? -我要自己一个房♥间
– Bunk beds? – I don’t share rooms.
我什麽都要自己的 晚上是我的黑暗时光
I don’t share shit. The night is a very dark time for me.
白♥痴♥,对每个人都是
It’s dark for everyone, moron.
对阿♥拉♥斯加人或戴夜光镜的人就不是
Not for Alaskans or dudes with night vision goggles.
别再吵了
All right, this is gonna stop right now.
从现在起,你们是一组,懂吗?
From here on out, you guys are a team. Do you understand?
你们吃喝拉撒睡都要在一起
You are going to eat together, sleep together.
你们要一起报税
You are going to pee together.
You’re gonna file a joint income tax return.
从现在起就练习,不要再说了
Practice starts now. End of discussion.
我才刚放好
I just put those into order.
我也需要洗手檯的空间
I need some counter space, too.
-鬃毛与尾巴,这是用来洗马的? -对
– Mane n’ Tail. Is this horse shampoo? – Yes, it is.
你用这个洗头髮?
– Do you use this stuff on your hair? – Uh-huh.
「展现光泽」真的有效吗?
“For a lustrous coat.” Does this actually work?
那还用说
You bet your ass it does.