冰刀双人组 Blades of Glory（2007）

Now you’re getting stoned with the Woodland Fairies.
我不知道你到底是谁
I don’t even know who you are anymore.
你活在过去,我跟木林仙女们…
You’re living in the past, Sammy.
我们活在此时此地
Come on, me and the Woodland Fairies,
我们感觉好自♥由♥
we’re living in the here and now.
来嘛,加入我们
And we’re feeling so free. Come on, join us.
宝贝,拜託,宝贝
Baby. Come on, babe.
嘿,麦可斯,来,准备了
Hey, Michaels, let’s go. Lace up. The fog machines are primed.
青蛙机已经装好了 第二场表演几乎客满
Second show’s almost three-quarters full.
-你喝醉了吗? -没有
– You drunk? – No.
但再喝这个就会
But this ought to do it.
如果你在冰上不是那麽棒
I would fire you
我早就开除你了
if you weren’t so goddamn beautiful out there.
-你有尿骚味 -很重?
– You smell like urine. – A lot?
把头套戴好
Get your head on.
运动用品店
感觉不对
They don’t feel right.
因为我还没绑好
That’s because I’m not finished.
想想鞋带有三个不同的角色会有帮助
You see, it helps to think of the laces as belonging to three distinct groups.
第一是基础
First, the foundation.
太紧了,爸!
They’re too tight.
他压得好紧
Daddy! He’s crushing me.
绑好要花点时间,但值得
Doing it right takes a little bit longer, but it’s worth it.
嘿,你在干嘛?她说太紧了
Hey, what are you doing? She said it’s too tight.
但她是错的
Well, but she’s wrong.
你要相信谁? 一个小女孩还是吉米麦克罗伊?
I mean, who are you gonna trust, a little girl or Jimmy MacElroy?
-谁是吉米麦克罗伊? -有什麽问题吗?
– Who the hell is Jimmy MacElroy? – Is there a problem here, sir?
对,这个小鬼正在蹂躏我女儿的脚
Yeah, this kid is torturing my daughter’s foot.
对不起,先生,吉米
I’m so sorry, sir.
滑冰区不需要你现在就去仓库
You know what, Jimmy? Off the skates, you’re on stockroom duty, now. Let’s go.
嘿,吉米
Hey, Jimmy.
赫克特?
Hector?
你在这裡做什麽?
What are you doing here?
我有你的禁制令
You know I have a restraining order against you.
那玩意儿?
Oh, that thing?
吉米,你看起来好帅 你的头髮太猛了
You look great, Jimmy. You look amazing. Your hair rocks.
谢谢
Thanks.
你太帅了,哦,老天
You look so good. Oh, my gosh.
你有没有看看自己的样子?
Do you look at yourself?
我好想剥下你的皮 穿它过生日,就快到了
I totally wanna cut off your skin and wear it to my birthday. It’s coming up.
好,听著,很高兴见到你 赫克特,我现在真的很忙
Yeah, listen, it’s great to see you, Hector, but I’m really busy right now.
好,对不起,我说重点
Okay, all right, I’m sorry. I’ll cut to the chase.
-吉米,你得再滑冰 -什麽?
– You gotta start skating again, Jimmy. – What?
跟踪过气的选手很丢脸
It’s embarrassing stalking a has-been, you know what I mean?
我几乎放弃你了
Look, I almost gave up on you.
我跟踪过长得很像猫王的乌克兰选手
I started working with that Ukrainian skater,
you know the one that looks like Elvis?
我搬到乌克兰,那裡好冷…
And I moved to the Ukraine
大家都有枪 而且有汤的味道
and it was cold and everyone had guns and smelled like soup.
赫克特,我同情你,但我没有办法
I sympathize with you, Hector. I really do, but there’s nothing I can do.
我终生禁赛
I’m banned for life.
没那麽绝对
Don’t be so sure.
第14条,第七节
Section 14, paragraph G,
「终生禁赛无法撤销…
“A lifetime ban is irrevocable and the banned skater can never again
「滑冰选手永远不能参加…
“compete in any Federation-sanctioned tournament
「联盟批准该选手所属的比赛项目」
“that exists in such a skater’s division.”
看到没?你只是不能参加 男子单人滑冰!
You see? You’re only banned from your division, men’s singles!
你可以参加双人滑冰
You can still compete in pairs skating.
双人
Pairs.
怎麽可能?
How is this possible?
我找过很多律师上诉过很多次
I had so many lawyers work on so many appeals.
因为没有人像我这麽沉迷
Because nobody can obsess like I can.
因为没有人像我这麽沉迷
吉米,祝你好运
Good luck, Jimmy.
我有一天还是会杀了你
And I’m still gonna kill you someday.
不!是邪恶的巫师!
Oh, no! It’s the evil wizard!
嘿,森林小精灵
Hey, little forest creatures.
你们这些浑蛋别想逞英雄,听到没?
None of you sons-of-bitches try to be heroes. You hear me?
嘿,却斯,拜託
Hey, Chazz. Come on.
我是盖瑞,你在干嘛?
It’s Gary. What are you doing?
嘿,大伙儿!他是松鼠盖瑞
Hey, everyone! This is Gary, the squirrel.
听好了,盖瑞是我多年的朋友
Now listen up. Gary’s been a long-time friend.
两年半来我们一起滑冰
We’ve been skating for two and a half years.
我记得有一次在图桑的巴士站…
I remember when we were hanging out at the bus stop in Tucson,
盖瑞说： 「我有第三个睾丸」
and Gary said, “I’ve got a third ball.”
该死,我吐在裡面
Damn it. I just threw up in here, people.
现实就是这样,传奇需要加味
That’s the reality. Another layer to the legend.
我不过是洋葱人 其实我们都是,哦,又来了
I am nothing but a human onion. In fact, we all are. Oh, encore.
各位女士先生,进一步通知前 「冰上小精灵」将暂停演出
Ladies and gentlemen, Grublets on Ice will be cancelled until further notice.
无法退费
No refunds will be given.
来啊!丢我啊
Bring it on! Let it rain down on me.
有法律漏洞,我不能参加 男子单人赛,但可参加双人赛
There’s a loophole. I was banned from men’s singles but not pairs.
我可以参加冬季运动会
I can skate in the Wintersport Games again.
我就知道,经过三年,你还是不放弃
I knew it. I knew after three years, you just weren’t checking in.
拜託,吉米,我展开新生活 你也应该
I mean, come on, I moved on, Jimmy. You gotta move on, too.
我是滑冰选手,我无法展开新生活…
But I’m a skater. There’s nothing to move on to,
除非再度赢得并拥有金牌
except for winning the gold again and keeping it this time.
你知道找个搭档有多难?
You know how hard it is to find a partner?
就算找到,还要通过全国选拔赛
Even if you did, you gotta qualify for Nationals.
只剩一个月的时间
That’s a month away.
报名再过两天就截止
I mean, sign-up is in two days.
没有那麽难
It can’t be that hard. I mean…
吉米,放弃吧,花式滑冰 就像无情的后母
Figure skating. Give it up, Jimmy. It’s like a cruel bitch mother.
她用巧克力和鲜花引诱你…
She’ll seduce you with chocolates and roses
然后像隻死浣熊 一脚把你踢到路边
and then kick you to the side of the road like a dead raccoon.
算了,我要走了
Forget it. I gotta go.
很高兴再度见面
It’s good to see you.
等等,教练!
Wait, Coach!
冰上小精灵试镜 女子滑冰选手
滑冰选手试镜
吉米麦克罗伊?
Jimmy MacElroy?
又一个优秀滑冰选手 来到小精灵的殿堂
Another great walking through the halls of the Grublets.
欢迎到我的小节目
Welcome to my little production.
如果你要感谢我开除麦可斯 那是我的荣幸
If you’re here to thank me for firing Chazz Michaels, it was my pleasure.
却斯之前在这裡?
Chazz was here?
对,很不幸,不过… 你来试镜真是太棒了
Yeah, unfortunately, but it’s fantastic that you’re here.
对,不用问,我会考虑你
And yes, no need to ask, I’ll consider you for a position.
我不是来找工作
I’m not looking for a job.
我是来找女子滑冰选手 跟我一起参加全国选拔赛
I’m actually looking for a female skater to compete with me at Nationals.
-你想偷滑冰选手? -不
– Are you trying to skater poach? – No.
你想破坏我的家庭?
You trying to break up my family?
快滚,不然我把你丢出去
Why don’t you get out of here before I throw down?
嘿,你要去哪裡?
Hey, where you going?
麦可斯
Michaels.
麦克罗伊
MacElroy.
你变胖了
I see you got fat.
你看起来还像15岁小女孩 只是一点都不辣
I see you still look like a 15-year-old girl but not hot.
你毁了我的梦想
You crushed my dreams.
我好多年都没有梦想了
Dreams? Shit. I haven’t had one of those in years.
却斯,不要说了 不然我就赏你的丑脸一拳
Zip it, Chazz. Zip it or I will punch you in your crap lousy face.
今晚做个了结吧
This ends tonight.
现在是大白天,人♥渣♥
It’s daytime, you douche.
-来吧! -你好肥!
– Now it’s on! – You’re so fat!
本地滑冰粉丝赚到了…
Local figure skating fans got more than they bargained for today
两位前滑冰冠军选手大打出手…
when a children’s ice show was interrupted by a street fight
打断了一个儿童滑冰秀
between two former champions.
吉米麦克罗伊和却斯麦可麦可斯…
Jimmy MacElroy and Chazz Michael Michaels,
两位曾经是世界顶尖滑冰选手…
once at the top of the skating world,
今天继续三年前没打完的架…
picked up today where they left off more than three years…
粉丝们记得金牌选手
Fans remember Michaels and MacElroy as gold medalists who,
麦可斯以及麦克罗伊…
in a bizarre turn of events,
被判终生禁赛
became banned from competition for life.
我曾访问过麦可斯
I had a chance to sit down with Michaels