鸟人

She’s a friend of mine.
好
Okay.
谢谢
Thank you.
我穿着那一身
That was…
已经是二十年前的事情了
20 years before I put on that goddamn outfit.
我不在乎
I don’t care.
好吧 我只是
Okay, I was just…
明天在你来之前 我只要…
you know, before you come tomorrow, I just…
无所谓
It doesn’t matter.
好
Okay.
我要毁了你的话剧
I’m going to destroy your play.
但你还没看过
But you didn’t even see it.
我有做过什么冒犯你的事吗
Um, you know, did I do something to offend you?
-我真的很抱歉 -事实是 你有
– I-I’m so sorry… – As a matter of fact, you did.
那个剧院本可以用做更有意义的事情
You took up space in a theater which otherwise
而你却占用了它
might have been used on something worthwhile.
好吧
Okay, well,
你甚至都不知道这话剧好不好
I mean, you don’t even know if it’s any good or not.
-我还没… -没错
– I didn’t… – That’s true.
我没读过 也没看预演
I haven’t read a word of it or even seen a preview,
但是明天首演之后
but after the opening tomorrow,
我会交出一份
I’m going to turn in the worst review
有史以来最差的剧评
anybody has ever read,
我会让你的剧演不下去
and I’m going to close your play.
你想知道为什么吗
Would you like to know why?
因为我恨你
Because I hate you
恨你们这类人
and everyone you represent.
倚仗名气 自私 被宠溺的孩子
Entitled, selfish, spoiled children.
华而不实 才疏学浅
Blissfully untrained, unversed
从未准备涉足真正的艺术
and unprepared to even attempt real art.
为卡♥通♥片和色情片互相颁奖
Handing each other awards for cartoons and pornography.
衡量自己在周末的价值
Measuring your worth in weekends?
这可是剧院
Well, this is the theater,
不可能任你说来就来
and you don’t get to come in here
带着你自己的作品
and pretend you can write, direct and act
假装会自编自导自演
in your own propaganda piece
而不先过了我这一关
without coming through me first.
祝你好运
So break a leg.
你说 一个人到底经历了什么
You know, what has to happen in a person’s life
才会成为一名评论家
for them to become a critic, anyway?
你在写什么 别的剧评吗
What are you writing, another review?
这剧好吗
Um, is it any good?
好吗
Is it?
很糟糕吗
Is it bad?
你看过这剧吗 给我看看
Did you even see this? Let me read it.
我要报♥警♥了
I will call the police.
你不会报♥警♥的
You won’t call the police.
我们来读读你的狗屁剧评
Let’s read your fucking review.
“乳臭未干” 乳臭未干是个标签
“Callow.” Callow is a label.
就是 “乏善可陈”
Just, uh, “Lackluster.”
就是个标签
That’s just a label.
“旁注”
“Margin…”
旁注 有没有搞错
Marginalia? Are you kidding me?
你似乎得来点青霉素才能理清头绪
It sounds like you need penicillin to clear that up.
这也是个标签 这些都是标签
That’s a label, too. These are just all labels.
你就会到处贴标签
You just label everything.
太他妈的懒了
That’s so fucking lazy.
你 你真♥他♥妈♥的懒蛋
You just… You’re a lazy fucker.
你是个懒蛋
You’re a lazy…
你知道这是什么吗
You know what this is?
你到底知道这是什么吗
Do you even know what that is?
你不知道 你知道为什么吗
You don’t. You know why?
因为你要是不知道该怎么给它
Because you can’t see this thing
贴标签 你就看不见它
if you don’t know how to label it.
你把脑子里的那些小声音
You mistake all those little noises in your head
误当成了真学识
for true knowledge.
-你说完了吗 -没有 我没说完呢
– Are you finished? – No, I’m not finished.
这里没什么技术
There’s nothing in here about technique.
没什么结构
There’s nothing in here about structure.
没什么主旨
Nothing in here about intention.
只有一堆狗屎点评
It’s just a bunch of crappy opinions
还是通过更狗屎的对比得出的
backed up by even crappier comparisons.
你写这么几段话 你知道吗
You write a couple of paragraphs, and you know what,
你♥他♥妈♥什么都不用付出
none of this costs you fucking anything.
不用拿什么冒险
You risk nothing.
什么都不用 什么都不用
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
我他妈的是个演员
Well, I’m a fucking actor.
为这剧我付出了一切
This play cost me everything.
我告诉你
So I’ll tell you what.
你♥他♥妈♥拿着这篇
You take this fucking…
恶毒的 怯懦的
malicious, cowardly,
狗屎剧评
shittily-written review,
塞进你♥他♥妈♥的
and you shove that right the fuck
皱皱巴巴的
up your wrinkly,
菊花里
tight ass.
你不算演员 只是个名人
You’re no actor. You’re a celebrity.
这点要说清
Let’s be clear on that.
我会毁了你的剧
I’m gonna kill your play.
莎士比亚 《麦克白》
第五幕 第五场
“明日
“Tomorrow!
“明日
“And tomorrow,
复明日”
and tomorrow!”
“时光
“Creeps…
“就这样
“In this…
“蹑步向前
“Petty pace…
“日复一日
“From day to day,
“直至
“To the last syllable…
“时间的尽头
“Of recorded time.
“而
“And…
“我们的过去
“All of our yesterdays…
“不过是点亮了
“Have lighted…
“愚者
“Fools…
“蹉跎而过的…
“The way to…
请给我瓶威士忌
Hey, give me a pint of whiskey, please.
“死亡之路
“Dusty death…
“熄灭吧
“Out…
“熄灭吧”
“Out…”
六块五 朋友
$6.50, my friend.
“那短促的烛光”
“Brief candle…”
-什么 -六块五
– Huh? – $6.50.
给你 我也不知道是多少
Here, just, I don’t know what that is.
“人生
“Life…
“不过是
“Is but a…
找你钱
How about your…
“行走的影子
“Walking shadow.
“可怜的
“Poor…
“戏子
“Player
“在舞台上大起大落
“Struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
“而后又无声无息
“And then is heard no more!
“这是愚人
“It is a tale
“所讲述的故事
“Told by an idiot
“充满了喧嚣和骚动
“Full of sound and fury
“毫无意义”
“Signifying nothing!”
你去哪 伙计
Where you going, man?
演得太过了吗
Was that too much?
我只是想演到极致
I was just trying to give you a range.
有点过了 我能看出来 因为你…
It’s a little bit too much, I can tell, because you…
我只是想演到极致
I just wanted to give you a range.
我只是 是有点过火了
I just… that was a little too much.
有点过了 是太过了吗
That-that was a little too much. Was that too much?
天哪