比尔和泰德历险记（1989）

Marie Antoinette said, “Let them eat cake,”
她听说农民没有面包吃后说出此话
2点45分
泰德·洛根
比尔·普雷斯顿
在今天她可能会说 “让他们吃快餐”
perhaps today she would say, “Let them eat fast food.”
-请享用 -到处看看 你们有什么想法
– Enjoy. – OK, look around, see what you think.
我们一找到拿破仑就回去 好吗
We’ll be back as soon as we find Napoleon. OK?
快点 老兄 我们没有多少时间了
Come on, dude, we don’t got much time.
好的 但是我们拿什么…
Yes, but what do we…
你甩了拿破仑
You ditched Napoleon?!
迪肯 你明白
Deacon, do you realize
你把欧洲最杰出的领袖之一困在了圣迪马斯吗
you’ve stranded one of Europe’s greatest leaders in San Dimas?
他是个混♥蛋♥
He was a dick.
我们怎么才能找到他
Well… how are we gonna find him?
等等 设想我们是史上最杰出的将军之一
OK, wait, if we were one of the greatest generals in history,
当我们被困在圣迪马斯一整天时 我们会去哪儿
and we were stranded in San Dimas for one day, where would we go?
滑铁卢
Waterloo!
十一个孩子 麻烦了
Eleven children, please.
你还好吗
Are you OK?
我的天啊
Mon Dieu!
这真好玩
This is fun!
兄弟 你耽误后面的人了
Buddy, you’re holding up the line!
下去吧 兄弟
Come on, buddy.
走吧 拿破仑 大家都在等我们
Come on, Napoleon. Everybody’s waiting for us.
-不 不不 -是的 是的
– No, no, no! – Yes, yes, yes!
当你能紧致苗条时 为何要忍♥受肥肉呢
Why be soft and flabby when you can be firm and trim?
当你可以拥有令人称羡的火♥辣♥身材
When you can have a body that cries out, “Look at me, admire me.”
通过我们特制的重量训练和有氧计划
With our specialized weight training and aerobics program,
我们可以帮你拥有那种身材
we can help you attain the kind of body
你梦寐以求的身材
you’ve only dreamed of having.
动起来 女士们
All right, let’s go ladies!
你们看起来美极了
You guys are looking great!
双脚起跳 跳 跳
OK, jumping jacks. Jump! Jump!
你是音乐家吗
You a musician?
按这个试试
Well here, try this.
他们是
What is…?
他们在做什么
What are they doing?
看他的凉鞋
Look at his sandals. Ooh!
-我不知道 -他有点吓人
– I don’t know. – He’s creepy.
-奇怪吧 -他们走过来了
– Weird, huh? – Oh, they’re coming over.
你们好 我是比利 这位是苏格”瑞”底
Hi. I’m Billy, this here is So-crates.
-苏格拉底 -我们来自过去
– Socrates. – We’re from history.
悬赏1200美元
通缉比利小子
你们好 我是弗洛伊德博士 可以叫我西吉
Hello, I’m Dr. Freud. But you may call me Siggy.
我的天啊
Oh, my God!
二位好像都患有轻度癔症
You both seem to be suffering from a mild form of hysteria.
你真是个书呆子
You are such a geek.
你可真”厉害”啊 蠢蛋
Way to go, egghead.
-书呆子 -什么是”书呆子”
– Geek! – What is a “Geek”?
请求支援 我发现了一个行为异常的人
I need some help. I’ve got a live one here.
-好了 -谢谢你
– OK… – Thank you.
你得把林肯帽和这蠢胡子还给我
…I need the Lincoln hat and the stupid beard back.
你不明白 我就是亚伯拉罕·林肯本尊
You don’t understand, I’m Abraham Lincoln.
没错 真好笑
Yeah, right. Ha, ha, ha.
快拿过来 先生
Now, come on, mister…
这是我的帽子 我的胡子 我是
This is my hat and my beard. I am…!
坚持住 你们美极了
Keep it up! You’re looking great!
那个疯子 停下
Hey! That crazy there!
-小子 立马停下 -把这个家伙赶走
– Son, hold it right there. – Get that guy off there.
拦住他
Stop him!
运动商品区
-西格 这边 -抱歉 小姐
– No, Sig, over here. – Sorry, miss.
借过 小姐
Excuse me, miss.
-让开 让开 -借过
– Move, move. – Pardon me.
糟了
Oh, no.
我要一名律师
I demand a lawyer.
别跟我耍小聪明 我们走
Don’t get smart with me, buddy. Let’s go.
他们在那里
Hey, there they are!
走吧 老爷子
All right, come on, Grandpa.
不会吧
Bogus!
够了
That’s enough.
妈 你能再开快点吗
Mom, can’t you go any faster?
苏格拉底
我想知道你为什么说自己是西格蒙德·弗洛伊德
I want to know why you claim to be Sigmund Freud.
你为什么说我不是西格蒙德·弗洛伊德
Why do you claim I’m not Sigmund Freud?
你为什么问我这些问题
Why do you keep asking me these questions?
跟我说说你母亲
Tell me about your mother.
-天呐 -你想找个沙发躺下吗
– Oh, God. – Would you like a couch to lie on?
不 我不想找个沙发躺下
No, I don’t want a couch to lie on.
你叫什么名字
All right, what’s your name?
亚伯拉罕·林肯
Abraham Lincoln.
树林的林 肯定的肯
That’s L-l-N-C-O-L-N.
我知道怎么写林肯
I know how to spell Lincoln.
你的生日是什么时候 林肯先生
What’s your birthday, Mr. Lincoln?
1809年2月12日
February 12th, 1809.
一切都不同了 却又还相同
Everything is different, but the same.
现在比从前更加现代了
Things are more moderner than before,
更大 却也更小
bigger, and yet smaller.
因为电脑
It’s computers.
慢慢来
Take your time!
圣迪马斯高中橄榄球无敌
San Dimas High School football rules!
真不敢相信我爸逮捕了所有人
I can’t believe my dad arrested them all.
我们要怎么办
What are we gonna do?
泰德 你进去跟你♥爸♥爸谈谈
OK, Ted, you go in and talk to your dad.
我要把这地方翻遍
I’m gonna scope the place out.
米茜 我是说妈妈 盯着点拿破仑
Missy, I mean Mom, please keep an eye on Napoleon.
你留下
Stay!
好了 把他跟其他神经病关在一起
All right, lock him up with the rest of those wackos.
-我是个律师 -爸爸
– I am a lawyer, you know… – Dad!
-你去收拾东西 泰德 -什么
– You pack your bags, Ted. – What?
你要去上军校了 泰德
You’re going to military school, Ted.
-但爸爸 -不 我不想听 泰德
– But, Dad… – No, I don’t want to hear it, Ted.
-但… -泰德 你回家
– But… – Ted, you go home
收拾东西去 赶紧
and you pack your bags, now!
-怎么样 -不顺利
– How’d it go? – Bad.
我们的历史人物都被关起来了
Our historical figures are all locked up
我爸还不让他们出来
and my dad won’t let them out.
我们能拿到你♥爸♥的钥匙吗
Can we get your dad’s keys?
我能偷走 但他两天前丢了
I could steal them, but he lost them two days ago.
要是我们能回到他要是没丢的时候
If only we could go back in time to when he had them
再偷过来就好了
and steal them then.
对啊 有何不可
Well, why can’t we?
因为我们没空了
‘Cause we don’t got time.
我们可以做完报告再偷
We could do it after the report.
泰德 好主意啊 哥们
Ted, good thinking, dude!
在报告后 我们就有空穿越回两天前
After the report, we’ll time travel back to two days ago,
偷走你♥爸♥的钥匙 并把它们留在这
steal your dad’s keys, and leave them here.
-留在哪 -我不知道
– Where? – I don’t know.
不如留在那块牌子背后
How about behind that sign?
那样我们到这时 钥匙就在这了
That way, when we get here now, they’ll be waiting for us.
-你瞧 -天呐 厉害啊
– See? – Whoa! Yeah!
所以报告结束后我们不能忘了这事
So, after the report we can’t forget to do this,
否则钥匙就不会在这了
otherwise it won’t happen.
但确实在这 是我偷了我爸的钥匙哎
But it did happen! Hey, it was me who stole my dad’s keys!
没错 泰德 快来
Exactly, Ted. Come on.
-妈妈 -什么事
– Mom? – Yes?
你能去后门等我们吗
Can you please bring the car around back?
当然
Sure.
来吧 泰德 我们要去就历史名人了
Come on, Ted. We’ve got some historical figures to rescue.
完毕 通话结束
Over and out.
我们要怎么通过你♥爸♥这关
How are we gonna get past my dad?
你家里有录音机吗
You got a tape recorder at home?
-有 -那好