比尔和泰德历险记（1989）

比尔和泰德历险记
你好 欢迎来到未来
Hi. Welcome to the future.
这里是2688年的加州圣迪马斯
San Dimas, California, 2688,
我跟你们说 这里真是棒极了
and I’m telling you, it’s great here.
空气清新 河水澄澈
The air is clean. The water’s clean.
就连灰尘都是干净的
Even the dirt is clean.
保龄球得分超高
Bowling averages are way up.
迷你高尔夫得分超低[越低越好]Mini-goIf scores are way down.
我们所拥有的刺♥激♥水上滑梯
And we have more excellent water slides
比其他任何与我们有通讯的星球都多
than any other planet we communicate with.
我跟你们说 这里真是棒极了
I’m telling you this place is great.
但这一切差点毁于一旦
But it almost wasn’t.
700年前
You see, 700 years ago,
怀尔德-史泰林
两位伟人遇到了一些麻烦
the Two Great Ones ran into a few problems.
所以如今我得穿越回去帮助他们
So now I have to travel back in time to help them out.
如果我没能让这俩留在正确的道路上
If I should fail to keep these two on the correct path,
我们社会的基础将危在旦夕
the basis of our society will be in danger.
别担心 一切都会好的 我是专业人士
Don’t worry, it’ll all make sense. I’m a professional.
我是比尔·S·普雷斯顿先生
I’m Bill S. Preston, Esquire.
我是泰德·”西奥…
And I’m Ted “Theo…”
-比尔 给 你拿着 -好
– Bill, here, you take it. – OK.
我是泰德·”西奥多”·洛根
And I’m Ted “Theodore” Logan.
我们是怀尔德-史泰林乐队
And we’re Wyld Stallyns!
赶紧撤
Let’s bail.
加州 圣迪马斯
1988年
这里炸了
We blew it.
我猜是因为我们用电量过大
Guess we used too much power.
真棒
l liked it.
泰德
Ted,
尽管我同意假以时日我们乐队会名扬天下
while I agree that in time our band will be most triumphant,
但事实是 怀尔德-史泰林永远成不了超级乐队
the truth is, Wyld Stallyns will never be a super band
除非艾迪·范·海伦来给我们当吉他手
until we have Eddie Van Halen on guitar.
没错 比尔 但是…
Yes, Bill, but…
我觉得要想请到艾迪·范·海伦
I do not believe we will get Eddie Van Halen
我们必须得有一个牛逼的视频
until we have a triumphant video.
泰德 有个牛逼的视频根本没意义
Ted, it’s pointless to have a triumphant video
因为我们甚至没有拿得出手的乐器
before we even have decent instruments.
我们怎么可能有拿得出手的乐器嘛
How can we have decent instruments
因为我们根本不会弹
when we really don’t know how to play?
所以我们才需要艾迪·范·海伦
That is why we need Eddie Van Halen.
所以我们才需要牛逼的视频
And that is why we need a triumphant video.
-逻辑满分 -逻辑满分
– Excellent! – Excellent!
-我们要迟到了 -去哪
– We’re late. – For what?
-上学啊 老兄 -对哦
– For school, dude. – Oh, yeah.
比尔 我还等着呢
Bill, I’m waiting.
他已经死了
He’s dead?
所以说 比尔 你的意思是
So Bill, what you’re telling me, essentially,
拿破仑是个矮小 已经死了的人
is that Napoleon was a short, dead dude.
对啊
Well, yeah.
你完全搞砸了 老兄
You totally blew it, dude.
-泰德 站起来 -站起来
– Ted, stand up. – Stand up?
没错 小子 站起来
Yes, son, stand up.
圣女贞德是什么人
Now… who was Joan of Arc?
诺亚方舟是Noah’s Ark
与Arc发音一致
诺亚的老婆
Noah’s wife?
听着 伙计们 别忘了
Listen guys, don’t forget,
明天下午1:30至3:30是期末报告时间
tomorrow, final report, 1:30 to 3:30, OK?
小伙子们
Hey, guys.
瑞恩老师 您先别开口
Mr. Ryan, before you say anything,
我和我杰出的同事泰德
my distinguished colleague Ted and l
想为我们在您课堂上所学的一切
wish to express to you our thanks
对您表达感谢
for all the things we have learned in your class.
你们学到了什么
And what have you learned?
我们学到了…
We have, uh…
我们学到了这个世界有着伟大的历史
We’ve learned that the world has a great history.
没错 还学到了多亏了那些伟大的领袖
Yes, and that thanks to great leaders
比如…成吉思汗
such as… Genghis Khan,
圣女贞德 还有苏格拉底·教学法
Joan of Arc, and Socratic Method,
这个世界…满是历史
the world is… full of history.
在我看来 你们只学到了
It seems to me that the only thing you have learned
凯撒…是一个做沙拉酱的人[凯撒沙拉]is that Caesar… is a salad dressing dude.
比尔 泰德 这件事很简单
Bill, Ted, this is really quite simple.
你们这门课的所有小测都不及格
You have flunked every section of this class.
除非你们在明天的期末口头报告上拿到A+
Now unless you get an a-plus on your final oral report tomorrow…
伙计们 我别无他法 只能挂掉你俩了
guys, I have no choice but to flunk the both of you.
你们知道自己的题目
Now you know your topics,
所以我建议你俩至少好好准备一下那几块知识点
so I would suggest that you at least cover those areas
如果你们还想通过考试的话
if you want to pass the course.
-明白了吗 -明白了 老师
– Understand? – Yes, sir.
好的
Ok.
伙计们
Guys.
你俩的报告最好能别出心裁
Your report had better be something very special.
天啊
Ah, man.
写这个报告我们都需要掌握哪些知识啊
Well, what are we supposed to know for our report?
我不确定
I’m not sure.
我只知道圣女贞德不是诺亚的老婆
One thing I know is that Joan of Arc is not Noah’s wife.
那诺亚的老婆到底是谁啊
Well then, who is Noah’s wife?
我不知道 泰德
I don’t know, Ted.
我只知道我们麻烦大了
But I do know we’re in serious trouble.
听好了
Listen to this:
“请向你的同学们展示
“Express to the class
你那个时期的重要历史人物
how an important historical figure from each of your time periods
会如何看待1988年的圣迪马斯”
would view the world of San Dimas, 1988.”
我们明天可能会挂得很惨 泰德
We’re in danger of flunking most heinously tomorrow, Ted.
你好呀 比尔 要搭个便车吗
Hi, Bill. Want a ride?
好的 米茜
Sure, Missy.
妈妈
I mean, Mom.
-你继母好可爱 -闭嘴 泰德
– Your stepmom’s cute. – Shut up, Ted.
还记得当年她是毕业班的 而我们是新生吗
Remember when she was a senior and we were freshmen?
闭嘴 泰德
Shut up, Ted!
我去拿了书就来
I’ll be right back, as soon as I get my books.
泰德
Ted.
你在家干什么呢 老爸
What are you doing home, Dad?
我在找钥匙
I’m looking for my keys.
不是你把钥匙弄不见的吧
You haven’t done anything with them, have you?
不是 长官
No, sir.
我今天和你的校长聊了聊 泰德
I spoke to your principal today, Ted.
他说你的历史课要挂科了
He said you’re failing history.
-我和比尔… -他还说
– Me and Bill… – He also said
如果你历史挂科 你就要被劝退了
that if you fail history, you flunk out of school.
你知道这意味着什么吧 泰德
You know what that would mean, don’t you, Ted?
那我就得去奥茨军校了 长官
That I would have to go to Oates Military Academy, sir.
我今早联♥系♥了奥茨上校
I spoke to Colonel Oates this morning.
他迫不及待想见你 泰德
He’s anxious to meet you, Ted.
老兄 我们必须通过考试 不然乐队就完了
Dude, we gotta pass. Otherwise there’s no more band.
为什么
Why?
我爸要把我送去军校了
My dad’s sending me to military school.
在哪
Where?
阿♥拉♥斯加
Alaska.
阿♥拉♥斯加…
Alaska…
米茜
是时候了
It is time.
他们即将分离
Their separation is imminent.
电♥话♥
善待彼此
Be excellent to each other.
玩得愉快 哥们
Party on, dude.
好了 泰德 乔治·华盛顿
OK, Ted. George Washington.
首先 他是我们的国父
One, the father of our country.
第二 他出生于总统纪念日
Two, born on President’s Day.
第三 他是印在美元上的那位
Three, the dollar bill guy.
比尔 你有试过把他的头画成蘑菇吗
Bill, you ever made a mushroom out of his head?
泰德…阿♥拉♥斯加
Ted… Alaska.