大麻烦（2002）

[ lnhales sharply ]
[ Exhales ] Hu-hu-hu-hu.
[ Growls ]
[ Gasps ]
Ohh!
妮娜
Nina!
妮娜…妮娜…
Nina!
Nina!
Nina! Nina…
快出来
Come out of there. This is my house.
这是我家，你替我工作 我要吸吮你的脚趾
You work for me, and I want to suck your toes.
— [ Groans ] — [ Door closes ]
[ Grunts ]
希望他们没养狗
Hope they don’t have a dog.
但是何家正好有养狗 名字叫罗杰
Eliot: As it happens, the Herks did have a dog.
His name was Roger, and he was the random result
它是代代相传的杂种狗
of generations of hasty, unplanned dog sex.
[ Panting ]
罗杰饿了三个月 只靠吃泥巴过活
For the past three months, Roger had eaten nothing but dirt.
这时候它正好碰到 天下最邪恶的动物
That was when the most evil being in the universe
entered his life.
[ Croaking ]
[ Whimpering ]
它受到蟾蜍毒液的影响
Under the influence of the toad’s hallucinogenic chemicals,
把自己的屁♥股♥ 幻想成24盎斯的上等牛肉
Roger thought his furry butt was a 24-ounce porterhouse.
这是一块上等牛肉 厚厚的肉块令人垂涎三尺
…Nice cut of meat.
And notice how it is nice and thick all along up till about here,
and then it kind of tapers off,
她的脚一定很美
She looks like she has nice feet.
[ Bottle clinks ]
你看烹饪节目干么？
What are you watching her cook for, anyway?
你只会点菜而已
All you know how to make are reservations.
好冷的笑话
Good one, Arthur.
什么？
What?
别烦她
Leave her alone.
Whoa-ho!
我要看别台
I’m gonna see what else is on.
[ Sighs ]
[ Clicks ]
[ Panting ]
他们有养狗
They have a dog.
[ Sniffing ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Rustling ]
[ Breathing heavily ]
希望他们没养狗
Hope they don’t have a dog.
[ Panting ]
[ Sniffing ]
他们有养狗
They have a dog.
滚，给我滚
Come on. Get outta here, you mangy…
That’s our guy,
就是他 快下手吧
Kill him now, we make the 1 1:40 back to Newark,
我想赶十一点半的班机 回纽泽西
I can’t. He’s too close to the women.
不行，他离那女的太近了
Yeah, you don’t shoot him soon,
你再不下手 我就要被蚊子咬死了
I’m dead from these mosquitoes.
你看看 这只公蚊大得像一辆房♥车
Look at this thing. He’s the size of a Buick.
母蚊 什么？
— She. — She what?
那是只母蚊 你怎么知道？
The mosquito is a she.
How the hell can you tell that?
探索频道，只有母蚊才会吸血
Discovery Channel.
Only the female mosquito sucks your blood.
就跟我前妻一样把我吸干
Sounds like my ex-wife.
Bitch.
— # We’re gonna do it # — Ha ha.
# Give us any chance, we’ll take it,,, #
我要回房♥间，那儿没这么愚蠢
I’m going to my room where it’s not so —
I don’t know — stupid.
妈，晚安
Good night, mom,
Aw, good night, honey,
晚安，甜心 我把狗放进来就去睡了
I think I’ll let Roger in and go to bed, too.
[ Crickets chirping ]
来吧 来吧
Here we go.
Here we go.
罗杰
Roger!
我在这儿看 免得她老爸射我们
I’ll witness from here in case her dad shoots us.
用什么射，遥控器吗？
With what, the remote control?
这里是迈阿密，他一定有枪
This is Miami. He has a gun.
杀出一个程咬金
We got an interloper.
没问题
Not a problem,
晚安 珍妮
— Good night, –[ Barking ]
Hey, Jenny!
— Aaahhh! — Ohh!
[ Gunshot ]
Aaahhh!
You son of a bitch!
You leave her alone!
[ Yelling continues ]
Aaaah!
Nina!
妮娜
— Aahhh! — Wuh!
— Whuuhh! — [ Thud ]
[ Whimpers ]
[ Breathing heavily ]
该死
Shit.
— [ Growling ] — [ Panting ]
[ Panting ]
[ Thud ]
Uh!
— Ah. — Ugh!
连纳？
— Leonard? — [ Leonard groaning ]
连纳？
Leonard?
Uh. Oh.
[ Laughing ] I don’t want any trouble.
我不想惹麻烦
Me neither.
我也不想
It was a gift from the wife.
这是我老婆送的礼物
[ Sirens wailing ]
警♥察♥赶来了 你最好别拿着那玩意
You don’t want to be holding that when the police get here,
[ Crickets chirping, wailing continues ]
[ Leonard groaning ]
[ Wailing continues, intensifying ]
起来
Up.
[ Grunts ]
— Uhh! — [ Thud ]
[ Wailing stops ]
I’ll go around back.
我从后面绕进去
Got it.
好
我从后面绕进去
Got it.
好
You son of a bitch!
警♥察♥，大家别动
Freeze! Everybody, hold it!
快放开她
Son of a bitch!
[ Panting ]
Hey, hey, hey!
住手
Stop it!
慢慢来
Slowly.
[ Footsteps approaching ]
别动
Freeze!
It’s all right, Walter,
没事了，华特
What happened?
怎么回事？ 这个人想杀我们
— This person tried to kill us. — No,
不是啦，我是麦特 我跟你自然课同班
No. It’s me. It’s Matt Arnold. I’m in her Biology class.
这是一把水枪
It was a squirt gun,
[ Walter sighs ]
It’s a squirt gun.
这是水枪
Oh, shit,
我知道了 他们在学校玩杀手游戏
We have this game at school — “Killer.”
拿到一个人的名字 就要拿水枪杀他
You get somebody’s name, and you’re supposed to squirt them.
三更半夜闯进别人家？ 这算哪门子的游戏？
In their house at night? What kind of a game is that?
你们早该赶来了
It’s about time you putzes got here.
你是谁？
— And your name is? — This is my house,
这是我家
Good for you, Your name is?
那敢情好，你叫什么？
Arthur Herk. I know the mayor.
何亚瑟，我认识市长
[ Bottle sets down ]
你们怎么这么慢才来？
What took you people so goddamn long?
我们一接到报案就赶来了
We came as soon as we got the call, sir.
我的电视，他打破我的电视
My TV.
He broke my TV,
你这臭小子
You son of a bitch!
我要你赔，你也要去坐牢
I’m gonna make you pay for that, and you’re gonna go to jail!
这只是水枪 什么？
— It was a squirt gun, sir. — What?!
这是水枪
Squirt — squirt gun.
还好你逃得快 要不然就会被弄湿
It’s a good thing you ran away, Arthur,
You might have gotten wet.
闭嘴 冷静点
Shut up!
别叫我冷静点，这可是我家耶
Monica: Easy,
Don’t tell me easy! This is my goddamn house!
这是我的手铐
And these are my handcuffs, and if you don’t take it easy,
你再乱来就要在你家戴手铐
you’ll be wearing my handcuffs in your goddamn house.
没错
That’s right, sir.
好，一个一个来 先从冷血杀手开始
Okay.
One at a time, starting with Mr. Killer over here.
这是怎么回事？
What happened?
我和安卓在外面
Me and Andrew were outside.
安卓和我
— “Andrew and l.” — Thank you,
谢谢哦 安卓是什么人？
Who’s Andrew?
Nobody.
不是什么人
Andrew’s nobody.
安卓不是人，所以你跟 一个幻想朋友在外面？