微不足道（2006）

她那个牧师老公有一桩副业 就是拍猎奇电影然后卖♥♥掉
And the two million sum of dollars her husband the Revered raised
他靠这个总共赚了两百万美元 现在明白了吧？
from his side venture in shooting and selling snuff films. Oki-doki?
帅呆了！
Groovy!
帅呆了？
“Groovy”?
今晚已经死了三个人了，乔茜
Three people died tonight, Josie.
很遗憾，干这行死个把人是家常便饭
I n this business, unfortunately, death is an occupational hazard.
还有，在警♥察♥面前提我的名字 你可太有才了
And by the way, way to go using my name in front of the cop.
查理
Oharlie.
听我说，我可以帮你们
Look, um, I can help.
我可以作证 我听到斯摩尔斯太太承认自己杀了丈夫
I’ll testlfy that I heard M rs. Smalls confess to kllllng her husband.
至于斯摩尔斯太太本人
And as for M r. Smalls herself,
她死时正在威胁一位警官的生命
she was threatenlng the llfe of a pollce offlcer.
那么化粪池里那家伙呢？
What about the guy in the tank?
你是出于意外杀了他
You killed him by accident.
不会在牢里蹲很久的
You wouldn’t do much tlme at all.
五年最多了
Five years tops.
哦，上帝啊
Oh, my God I
这可不是假的
Well, that doesn’t suck.
我非得让你看看
I have to hand it to you.
你这计划实在聪明
That was a brilliant plan, after all.
你能相信吗？我们发财了
Can you belleve lt? We’re rlch.
我的那份你们分了吧
You guys can keep my share.
我要去自首 要是我非坐牢不可，那我就去坐牢
I’m gonna turn myself in. If I go to jail, I go to jail.
别糊涂了，这是你挣的
Don’t be ridiculous. You earned this.
他们会像追野兽一样来追我们
They’re gonna hunt us down like animals.
有了这笔钱你就能远走高飞 没人找得到你
With this kind of money you can disappear and never be found.
我有老婆和女儿 我不想远走高飞
I have a wife and daughter. I don’t wanna disappear.
好吧，那就这样 加斯和我离开本州
No. Okay, fine. Gus and I will leave the state
我们把你和副警探随便扔在什么地方
and we’ll just drop you and the Deputy in the middle of nowhere.
我们不应该把副警探干掉吗？
Shouldn’t we get rid of the Deputy?
什么？
What?
对呀，他可是唯一能证明我们没犯 谋杀罪的人
Since he’s the only one who can testify we’re innocent of the murders.
好吧，俄克拉荷马少女选美冠军 那么…
Okay, M iss Teen Oklahoma. Then…
救命！
Help!
救命啊！
Help!
好！ 把住他的头
Yes! Hold his head.
你在干什么？
What are you doing?
帮他放松一下
J ust helping him to relax a little.
我朋友打算自首
My frlend here declded to surrender.
所以我们会找个好地方把你们俩丢下 然后大家一拍两散
So we’re gonna drop you both “somewheres” nlce and say goodbye.
你们是在犯大错
You’re making a big mistake.
咱们走吧
Let’s get out of here.
等等
Wait, wait.
我要小便
I gotta go pee.
求你了
Please.
手铐
The handcuffs.
你做梦
I n your dreams.
肯定有这必要
There are certain requirements.
行了，请便吧
There. Enjoy.
不好意思
I’m sorry.
你们在这看着，我尿不出
I can’t go if you’re, um, watching.
关上门好吗？
Oould you just close?
怯场了，是人都难免
Stage fright. It happens to the best of us.
一分钟警告
One mlnute warnlng.
这是你掉的
You dropped this.
不，我可以解释
No, I can explain.
起来，伙伴
Get up, partner.
你们是什么毛病？
What the hell’s the matter with you?
是去维加斯的机票 明天早上8:00
It’s a flight to Vegas. 8: 00 A. M. Tomorrow.
我们本来应该在中午碰头分钱的
We were supposed to meet at noon to spllt up the money.
那混♥蛋♥把我的鼻梁打断了
That asshole broke my nose.
你最好把这事解释清楚
You’d better have a friendly explanation.
好，好吧
Alright, okay.
我说泰伊丝要做角膜移植是骗你们的
I lied about Thais needing a cornea transplant.
她没病
She’s fine.
我欠我老婆三十万
I owe my wife 300, 000 bucks.
你什么？
I’m sorry?
我欠我前妻三十万
I owe my ex-wlfe $300, 000.
她那个律师又特别毒
And because of that snake of a lawyer of hers
让法♥院♥给我下了禁令 不还债就不能解除
there’s a restralnlng order agalnst me untll I pay up.
我已经两年没见过女儿 也没和她说过话了
I have not seen or talked to my daughter in two years.
你为什么不和我直说呢？
Why didn’t you tell me?
那样的话你会帮我？
Would you have helped?
才不
Of course not.
哦，天哪
Oh, my God.
咱们的证人就这么走了
There goes our alibi.
呃哦，真是妙极了！
U h-uh. Freaking fantastic!
你看不出来吗？ 这下咱们没人躲得掉
Don’t you see? None of us has to run away
也没人能自首了
or turn ourselves in.
那你说该怎么办？ 难道我们要逃遍全国，露宿荒野
What do you propose? We roam the country
就像雌雄大盗…再加一个雄的？
living on the land like Bonnie and Olyde and Olyde?
不，我们先开了这警♥察♥的车
No. Flrst we take the cop’s car
在路边找棵树撞上去
and crash it into a tree up the road.
然后我们把他和牧师的老婆都 塞到那女人的车里
Then we take hlm and the Reverend’s wlfe and put hlm In her car
再把车从悬崖上推下去
and then we push it over the cliff.
可是他们过几天就会发现那辆车的
But they’d find the car in a couple of days.
对，调查的人会怎么想？
Yeah, and what would the forensic figure?
副警探酒后开车
The Deputy was driving under the influence of alcohol,
撞到了树上，然后又叫住了另一辆车
crashed into a tree, flagged down another car
那辆车本来是斯摩尔斯太太开的 但是他却掌握了方向盘
drlven my M rs. Smalls. He took control of the wheel
结果开下了悬崖
and drove them off the cliff.
至于伤口么
And the wounds, I mean,
经过这么一摔，早就看不出了
they’ll be more than covered by the crash.
就在牧师被杀的同一天晚上
The Reverend gets murdered on the very same night
他老婆被喝醉酒的警♥察♥连人带车 一起弄下悬崖？
that his wife gets driven off the cliff by a drunken cop?
这种事也太巧了吧？
What about that doesn’t sound very accldental?
他总算说了一句明白话
He has a point, for once.
嗯，也对
Okay, um.
好，那我们就把斯摩尔斯太太的枪 和他们一起放到车里
Okay. Then we plant M rs. Smalls’ gun in the car with them.
警♥察♥会发现那就是杀牧师的凶器
They figure out it was the weapon that killed the Revered.
然后他们就会想 也许她和副警探有奸♥情♥
They think maybe she had an affair with the Deputy.
也许他们合谋做掉了可怜的牧师
Maybe they decided to off the poor Revered,
然后么，也许他们就出了车祸
and then, you know, maybe they had and accident.
这里面的“也许”也太多了吧？
That’s a hell of a lot of “maybes”.
好啊，那就听听你的高见，老大
Let’s hear your bright idea then, boss.
啊！ – 呼！
Ah! Hooh!
这老婊♥子♥肯定很贪吃
Old broad sure liked her food.
好漂亮的装尸袋！
Fancy body bagsl
你就坐在那里吃棒棒糖？
Are you sitting here eating a lollipop?
我还没吃晚饭呢，需要补充糖分
I didn’t have any dinner. I need the sugar.
啊！
Ow!
你没事吧？
Are you okay?
没事，快点干完吧
Yeah. Let’s just get this done.
你开这么慢干吗？
Are you going slow?
我们现在可不想惹人注意吧？
We don’t wanna attract attention now, do we?
我们也不想让时光倒流吧？
No, we don’t wanna go back in time now, do we?
事实上，只有跑得比光速还快
Actually it’s only by going faster than light
才有在理论上让时光倒流的可能
that one could even theoretlcally go back In tlme.
给我个面子，闭上你的鸟嘴！
Do me a favor. Shut the fuck up!
你的重音说得很成问题
You seem to have some serious stress related issues.
你不会是加拿大人吧？
You’re not Oanadian by any chance, are you?
什么？
What?
2003年的加拿大人健康统计报告指出
Well, the 2003 Statistical Report on the health of Oanadians
有62%的加…
states that 62% of…
你到底有什么毛病？
What the hell is wrong with you?
你的屁♥眼♥里老是放出 这种莫名其妙的统计数据
You keep pulllng these random, rldlculous facts and stats
都他妈是没人会在乎的！
out of your ass and it’s, like, nobody really gives a shit!
老天爷！我这儿也有一条可爱的 统计数据给你
Jesus Ohrist, man! Here’s a nifty little stat for you.
要是一个万事通的家伙
For a guy that knows everythlng about everythlng.
却在呼叫中心里工作 那么没说的
To get a job In a call center, you have to be bar-none,