微不足道（2006）

你在看DVD？
You’re watchlng a D VD, huh?
是的，不是
Yeah. No.
我是说，你知道DVD的销量
I mean, did you know that D VD sales have risen
在过去半年上升了226％吗？
by 226% over the last six months?
这个…不清楚
Well, no.
可了解到这个知识让我感到100%的高兴
But I sure am 100% glad to know that!
谢谢你的数字说明
Thanks for the factoid.
你要喝点什么吗？
So, um, can I, can I get you a drink?
请给我来杯H2O，霍金先生
Glass of H2O if you please, M r. Hawking.
地板上有血迹
There’s some blood on the floor.
霍金先生？
M r. Hawklng?
我打碎了花瓶
I broke a vase,
不小心被碎片划伤了手臂
and accidentally cut my arm on one of the shards.
看
Look.
哇，好家伙
Whoa, doggy.
看着就觉得疼
That hurts just looking at it.
你在干什么？
What are you doing?
当然是采集血样，这是标准程序
J ust getting a sample. Standard procedure, of course.
伍德警探要你回警局
Detectlve Wood’s expectlng you back at the statlon.
收到
Copy that.
伍德警探总是把我盯得很紧
Detective Wood, always breathing down my neck.
你要问的话 她准是有一阵子没好好过性生活了
Ain’t had a good poke in a while, if you ask me.
我不会问，不过随你怎么说
I’m not asking. But whatever.
我最好还是赶快走
Well, I’d better get a move on.
多么美妙的夜晚啊
M m. What a beautiful night.
几乎伸手就能触摸到繁星，对吗？
You can almost touch those stars, huh?
是的
Yeah.
尽管哪怕你以光速飞行
Although even if you were traveling the speed of light
也要1460天后才能接触到最近的那一颗
it would take you 1,460 days to reach the closest one.
是吗？
Is that right?
你真是个活生生的数据库，伙计
Well, you are just a walking factoid factory, partner.
晚安
You have yourself a good night.
晚安，警官
You, too, Officer.
哦
Oh.
可以让我扫一眼你在看的DVD吗？
Would you mind if I took a gander at that D VD you were watching?
好奇害死猫，警官
Ouriosity killed the cat, Officer.
实际上，干我这行
Actually in my line of work,
猫总能得到升职加薪
the cat gets a raise and a promotion.
我9岁的孩子爱这个
My nine-year-old loves this one.
特别是奶牛唱歌♥这部分
Specially this part with this singing cow.
我得承认，史蒂芬
I’ve got to admit, Steven.
刚才我还以为你向我隐瞒了什么
For a minute there, I thought you were hiding something.
这里似乎有拖曳过的痕迹，对吗？
Kind of looks like something got dragged here, don’t it?
你跟我来好吗？
You wanna come with me?
我要你替我把盖子打开，史蒂芬
I need you to lift this up for me, Steven.
警官，你可不想…
Officer, you don’t wanna…
打开
Open it.
别指望升职加薪了，警官
So much for the raise and the promotion, Officer.
行了
There we go.
看到没，我就知道、 可伦坡神探会回来查看DVD
See, I knew Oolumbo here would come back for the D VD.
好吧，那我们拿他怎么办？
Okay. What do we do with him?
我有个更玄的问题 化粪池里是谁？
I’ve a better question. Who is in the septic tank?
我怎么知道？等早上看报纸吧
How do I know? Oheck the papers in the morning.
看谁失踪了
See who turns up missing.
然后呢，加斯？我们杀人了
And then what, Gus? We killed somebody.
是你杀人
Oh, now, you killed somebody.
你绑♥架♥警♥察♥
Well, you kidnapped a cop.
是的，我绑♥架♥了警♥察♥，你有什么建议？
Oh, yes. Yes, I did. What do you propose?
我要去自首
I’m turning myself in.
你知道他们会控告你谋杀牧师
You realize they’ll charge you with the real Reverend’s murder.
我和那事无关！
I had nothing to do with that!
他们会在乎吗？他们喜欢事情简单明了
What do they care? Makes it all nice and neat for them.
喜欢一切都干净利落 我敢拿重金打赌
No messy loose ends! I bet good money they’ll be all
他们会说：“天哪，我们终于 将杀人狂魔缉拿归案！”
“Gawshdarnit, we done finally caught us the U ndertaker.”
你马上就会在电椅上吱吱冒火星！
You’ll be spitting fire and crying sparks in no time.
够了，别一错再错了！
Enough. Let’s not make this any worse than it is.
查理，事情还能错到哪去？
Oharlie, how could this be any worse?
你哪都别想去
You’re not going anywhere.
你要向我开枪吗，加斯？
You gonna shoot me, Gus?
我也有家人，查理
I got a family, too, Oharlie.
我不会去坐牢的
I am not going to jail.
我会开枪的，查理
I am golng to shoot you, Charlle.
不，你不会
No, you’re not.
我会！
Yes, I am!
不，你不会
No, you’re not.
我会！
Yes, I am!
见鬼！
Shit!
我知道你不会…
Ah, I knew you wouldn’t…
我可不会这么做
I wouldn’t do that.
你到底是谁？
Who the hell are you?
考虑到我住在这里，年轻人
Conslderlng that I llve here, young man,
我认为该反过来问： “你们到底是谁？”
I think the question is, “who the hell are you?”
事情不象你想的那样，斯摩尔斯太太
It’s not what you think, M rs. Smalls.
我们不是盗贼
We’re not burglars.
我们有个可怕的消息
Look, we have some terrible news.
你的牧师丈夫
Your husband, the Reverend,
已经去世了
has passed on.
我对着他脑袋连开三枪
I went through the trouble of putting three bullets in his head,
当然希望他死了
I should certalnly hope so.
斯摩尔斯太太，你有权保持沉默…
M rs. Smalls, you’ve the rlght to remaln sllent.
哦，得了吧
Oh, please.
这么说你杀了他？
So you killed him?
多年来我都装聋作哑 不管这个变♥态♥的…
I spent years turning a blind eye to that pervert’s, uh,
我们就称它“摄影热情”吧？
shall we say “film- making aspirations”?
马克斯和我理应分享他的收益
Max and I felt we deserved a share of hls beneflts.
谁是马克斯？
Who’s Max?
一个真正的男子汉
A real man.
我们要在这里碰头，一起远走高飞
We’re meeting here, and then we’re going somewhere
到一个无忧无虑的乐园去
where we’ll never worry about anythlng ever agaln.
嗯…
U m…
干什么？
What?
他也许已经在那儿了
I think he may already be there.
你在说什么？
What are you talking about?
他绝不会丢下我一个人离开
He never would’ve left without me.
他的确是别无选择
Didn’t really have a choice.
这是个意外，你给我闭嘴好吗？
It was an accident. Would you shut up?
你们俩都给我闭嘴
Why don’t you both shut up?
好吧，钱在哪儿？
Alright. Where is the money?
你说什么？什么钱？
Sorry? What money?
两百万现金不会不翼而飞
Two million dollars in cash doesn’t just vanish.
两百…
Two m…
没错，钱在哪儿？
Yeah, where is it?
哦，天哪
Oh, dear.
我数到三，一
I guess I’ll just have to count to three. One.
斯摩尔斯太太，别…
M rs. Smalls, don’t.
告诉她钱在哪儿
Tell her where it is.
我们不知道！我向上帝发誓！
We don’t know!
二
Two.
我…我已经多年没听 平克·弗洛伊德的歌♥了
Well, I’ll be… I haven’t heard Pink Floyd in years.
又该用到化粪池了
Well, Pa, time to fire up the old septic tank.
另外
Oh, by the way,
谁来告诉我到底发生了什么？
anyone care to tell me what happened exactly?
当然，是这样的 虽然牧师并没有死
Sure. Oharlie drowned the Reverend who he thought was dead,
但查理以为牧师死了
even though he wasn’t,
就把他扔在化粪池里淹死了
in the septic tank.
其实那人不是真牧师
He wasn’t even the real Reverend.
真牧师早被他老婆杀了
The actual Reverend was being murdered by his wife,
那个女人的脑袋又被你用斧头劈开了 说实话，你来得正是时候
the woman whose head you just split with an axe. Stellar timing by the way.
她已经承认 自己打算和相好马克斯私奔
She confessed to planning to run away with her lover, Max,
而这个马克斯就是刚被查理弄死的那位
recently deceased thanks to Oharlie.