微不足道（2006）

一边大肆手♥淫♥
accompanied by vigorous masturbation.
我妻子三个月前去世了
My wlfe just dled three months ago.
但我很乐意跟你上司谈谈这事，史蒂芬
But I’d llke to dlscuss that wlth your supervlsor, Steven.
喂，查理？等等
Hey. Oharlie? Wait, wait.
这是我的错
It’s my fault.
别担心，我没事
Don’t worry about it. I’ll be alright.
听着，你知道我有个计划
Look, you know I said I had a plan.
是的
Yep.
为什么不跟我一起干呢？
Why don’t you come in on it with me?
就象搭档什么的，知道吗？
You know, be like a parter or something, you know?
我实在感到对不起你，伙计
I sure as hell feel like I owe you one, man.
不会是违法的事吧？
It’s not anything illegal, is it?
狄金森！
Dickinson!
听着，9点在“搅局”吧见面，好吗？
Look, meet me at the Monkey Wrench, 9: 00, okay? Yeah?
查理
Choo-choo, Charllel
嗨，麦克，来两瓶这里大量酿造的 最好的窖藏啤酒
Hey, Mac. Two bottles of your finest mass- produced lager.
那么？
So?
过来
Oome here.
那么
So,
上班时我看了一下数据库
I stumbled across the data base at work.
里面有森特尔在线公♥司♥ 每个会员的所有上网记录
The online history of each and every member of Oentel Online.
看，这里记录着本州
Look, this is their record. Everyone in the state
过去三个月所有上网
that went online in the last three months
登录非法色♥情♥网♥站♥的人
and logged on to an illegal porn site.
对吧？我认为这里某个人会
Right? I figure there’s gotta be somebody in here
心不甘情不愿地交出一笔封口费
willing to fork over some coin to keep things hush.
他们看着都一样
They all look the same.
实际不一样
Yet they’re not.
REV内维尔·斯摩尔斯 Rev是什么？
“REV Neville Smalls.” What’s REV?
牧师
Reverend.
是真的，真是天赐良机，你不觉得吗？
Exactly. It’s brilliant, don’t you think?
要知道，我…
U m, you know, I, um,
我不是做罪犯的料，加斯
I really don’t thlnk I’m crlmlnal materlal, Gus.
等等，等等
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
我们说的可是个所谓的牧师
We’re talking about a so-called man of the cloth
喜欢看少男少女脱衣服
who likes to watch teenage boys and girls take off their clothes
喜欢看天晓得什么人对他们 干天晓得什么事
and have God-knows-who do God-knows-what to them.
谁才是真正的罪犯？
Who’s the real criminal here?
我也想过按常规办事，查理
I tried to do things by the book, Oharlie,
忍♥受朝九晚五的生活
and stomached the 9: 00 to 5: 00.
可我女儿就要瞎了，查理，瞎了！
My daughter is about to go blind, Oharlie. Blind!
你要多少钱…
How much are you…
总数是十，我们五五分
Fifty for me, fifty for you. An even hundred.
十？
A hundred?
万？
Thousand?!
美金？
Dollars?
用这点钱来保住名声够划算了
It’s not much to preserve one’s reputation.
万一有人受伤了呢？
What if somebody gets hurt?
这次完全不使用暴♥力♥
It’s a completely nonviolent enterprise.
无论如何都不会有人受伤害
No harm done whatsoever. And pretty much all I need
我只要你给我做不在场证明
is for you to be my alibi.
就这些？
That’s all?
就这些
That’s all.
好吧，听着
Okay, look.
选蓝色药丸，过回你原来的生活
You pick the blue one and you go back to your old life.
选红色药丸，你会得到终极自♥由♥
But plck the red one and you flnally get to be a free man.
可我必须警告你，一旦选择红色
But I must warn you. Once you eat the red one,
就不能走回头路了
there’s no turning back.
对啦！太好了！
Yes! Great!
老实说，一个人干我还真有点紧张
I gotta tell you, I was a little nervous about going solo.
规则一：防患于未然
Rule number one. Preparation is king.
首当其冲的是要排除一切因素…
More than anythlng else we wanna totally rule out the element…
吓着了吧！
Surprise!
乔茜，你坐这儿多久了？
Josie, how long were you sitting there?
够久了，足可要求加入成为第三方
Long enough to ask how you’d feel about bringing in a third.
加斯跟乔茜的邂逅
Okay, here’s the touchlng story
是个感人肺腑的故事
of how Gus met Josle.
小姐？
U h, miss?
什么事，先生？
Yes, sir?
我要结账
I’m gonna get the check.
为什么？
Why?
厨师是卷发吗？
Does the chef have curly hair?
不是
No.
我最好还是结账
I’d better get the check.
你在呼叫中心工作，对吗？
You work at the call center, huh?
是的，你怎么知道？
Yeah, how can you tell?
镇上一半人都在那里干活
Well, half the town does.
你跟其他人表情都一样
You have that same look the rest of them do.
什么样的表情？
What look is that?
“我还有多久才能归西…
“How much longer ’till I drop dead…
好摆脱这份愚蠢的工作”
so I don’t have to go to my stupld job anymore.”
就这种表情
That look.
是的，就是这种
Yeah, that’d be the one.
你是本地人吗？
Are you from here?
不，我来自俄克拉荷马州
No. Oklahoma!
哦
Oh.
俄克拉荷马州是吧？那地方怎么样？
Oklahoma, right? What’s that like?
远不及你性感
Nowhere near as sexy as you.
我来捡！
I’ll get that!
那么，想听听今晚有什么特制甜点吗？
So, care to hear about our dessert special this evening?
上帝啊！你真是豪爽的美女
Jesus! You sure are a very forthright and smart girl, ain’t you?
去年我成为俄克拉荷马的少女选美冠军时
That’s what they said last year
他们就这么说的
when they crowned me Mlss Teen Oklahoma.
哇…什么？
Whoa… What?
俄克拉荷马少女选美冠军？什么，去年？
Mlss Teen Oklahoma? What, last year?
是的
Yeah.
你多大了？
How old are you?
十八岁…上下吧
Eighteen. More or less.
是大还是小？
Is it more or is it less?
小一点吧，我猜
Well, less I guess.
见鬼！
Shit!
你到底怎么回事？
What the hell Is the matter wlth you?
你还是孩子，看在上帝的份上！
You’re a child, for Ohrissake’s.
我看起来象孩子吗？
Do I look like a child?
啊？
H uh?
好吧，你还有什么忘记说的？
Alright, okay. Is there anything else you forgot to mention?
你是谁？
Who are you?
查理·伍德，加斯的老同事
Oharlie Wood. Former coworker of Gus’.
乔茜·麦克布卢姆
Josle McBroom.
加斯跟我从前是情侣
Gus and I were an item back in the day.
怎么啦！？
What?
很抱歉，可我们要干什么？
I’m sorry, but what are we gonna do?
我要加入
I want in.
好吧，看我口型，没门！
Alright, read my lips, okay? No fucking way.
没我你们干不了这个
You guys can’t do the job without me.
因为，笨笨，我是唯一能打电♥话♥的人
Because, dumdum, I’m the only one who can make the call.
如果牧师的电♥话♥答录机 录下你们的声音
If the preacher starts recording you on his answering machine,
警♥察♥要做的第一件事就是去比对
the first thing they’re gonna do is try and match it up
电♥话♥中心的声音记录
with the voice records from the call center.
你们会被♥干♥掉，制成标本陈列展出
You guys would be screwed, stuffed, and mounted.
真有其事？
Is that true?
差不多吧
Kinda.
你想怎么做？
How d’you work that out?
跟你们说了 我是俄克拉荷马少女选美冠军
I told you. I was M iss Teen Oklahoma.
你要多少？
How much do you want?
2万
Twenty thousand.
2万？就为打一个电♥话♥？
Twenty thousand? For making a phone call?
为打“这”个电♥话♥
For making “the” phone call.
每人每年平均拨♥打♥1♥1♥4♥0个电♥话♥
The average person makes about 1, 140 phone calls
可都不会打这样的电♥话♥
each year. None of whlch go anythlng llke thls.