微不足道（2006）

我叫查理·伍德
My name Is Charlle Wood.
我觉得自己犯了个大错
I thlnk I made a blg mistake.
再高点！
Hlgherl
不行了，亲爱的
I can’t, sweetheart.
再高你就要撞到月亮了
Any hlgher, and you’re gonna hlt the moon.
会撞个包出来吗？
And get a bump?
对，真是冰雪聪明，会撞出包的
That’s rlght, smart glrl, and get a bump.
哦，嗨！
Oh, hey!
嗨，艾米莉，看谁来了
Hey, Emily, look who it is.
你好，伊莎贝拉！
H i, Isabella!
你好，艾米莉
H i, Emilita.
好了，你好吗？
There we go. HI, how are you?
我准备好她的午餐了
Okay. I’ve got her lunch.
大罐苹果汁，爱魔娃娃
An extra thermos of apple juice. Her Elmo doll.
嘶嘶先生，袋子里有12颗葡萄
M r. Fizzles. Twelve grapes in a bag.
知道了，伍德先生
I got it, M r. Wood.
谢谢你，5点见
Thanks. I’ll see you at 5: 00.
好了，亲爱的，过来
Right, sweetheart. Oome here.
跟爸爸击掌
H igh five.
先有“怀俄明寡妇”
Flrst the Wyomlng Wldow,
现在又来个“俄勒冈杀人狂魔”
and now the Oregon U ndertaker.
水库里刚拖上来一具女尸
They just pulled a dead girl out of the reservoir.
天哪！自杀的？
God! Suicide?
除非她自断手脚，然后勒死自己
If she chopped off her own arms and legs before strangllng herself
再从码头纵身跳下
and then jumplng off the pler, then maybe.
佩妮，我在吃着呢
Pen, I’m eating.
他们认为，又是俄勒冈杀人狂魔下的毒手
They’re figuring it’s the Oregon U ndertaker again.
这是六个月来的第四个受害姑娘
That’ll be the fourth girl in six months.
每一个都被肢解，开膛破肚 手段一次比一次残忍♥
Each one mutilated and disemboweled worse than the last.
佩妮！佩妮！
Pen! Pen!
对不起，宝贝
Oh, sorry, baby.
听着，查理
Listen, Oharlie,
要知道，你没必要这么做
you don’t have to do this, you know.
我当然得去，我们不能靠一份薪水过活
Of course I do. We can’t go on living on one income anymore.
这星期多少个晚上 你都给艾米丽煮意大利面？
How many nights this week have you given Emily SpaghettiOs?
她喜欢意大利面
She likes SpaghettiOs.
宝贝，相信我，一旦他们 买♥♥下你的作品，你会…
Hey, baby, trust me. Once they buy your book, you’re gonna…
一个出版商都没来过电♥话♥ 鬼影儿都没一个
Not a single publisher has called, Pen. Not a single one.
“黑洞”是个最近才产生的术语
The term “black hole” Is of very recent orlgln.
1969年由美国科学家约翰首创
It was colned In 1969 by the Amerlcan sclentlst John…
我们每天要处理近20万个来电
We handle nearly 200, 000 calls a day.
都是打给全国最大几家公♥司♥的热♥线♥
The hotlines to some of the biggest corporations in the country!
森特尔在线公♥司♥，我是梅兰妮
Centel Onllne, Melanle speaklng.
有什么可以帮您的吗？
How can I help you?
我是梅兰妮，有什么可以帮您的吗？
Melanle speaklng. How can I help you?
我是梅兰妮，祝您走运
My name Is Melanle Have a great day.
你们只雇名叫梅兰妮的女人吗？
Do you only hire women named Melanie?
这是商业诀窍
It’s a trick of the trade.
来电者希望每次接电♥话♥的 都是同一个客服代表
Oallers like to think they get the same Service Rep.
这一边全都是梅兰妮和约翰
This here is the Melanie and John section.
而你们这边全是珍妮弗和史蒂芬
And you are over here with the Jeniffers and Stevens.
你坐这里
This is you.
我坐这里，这是什么意思？
What do you mean this is me?
他们说给我提供了一个主管的职位
I was told I had a supervisor position.
你得先在一线工作六个月
You gotta spend six months in the trenches
然后才能面试主管的职位
before you can interview for supervisor.
可我有博士学位，当然…
But I have a Ph D. U h, surely…
你到底要不要这份工作？
Look, you want the job or not?
要
Yeah.
很好！
Great!
加斯会帮你上手的 行吗，史蒂芬？
Gus here will help get you started. Okay, Steven?
我是查理
It’s Oharlie.
当然
Sure is.
在文件菜单里，你能看到“打开”吗？
I n the file menu, do you see where it says “open”?
好了，你能打开“打开”菜单吗？
Okl-dokl. Can you open the “open” menu?
好的，我叫史蒂芬
Oki-doki. Again, my name is Steven.
感谢您致电森特尔在线公♥司♥ 祝你好运
Thank you for calling Oentel. You have a great day.
我看到加斯的第一眼就喜欢上他了
I actually llked Gus at flrst slght.
欢迎来到地狱，白♥痴♥
Welcome to hell, dick head.
好吧，或许不是第一眼
Well, maybe not flrst slght.
你说什么？
I’m sorry?
地狱！
Hell!
人们象奴隶一样被拴在机器上
People hooked up to machlnes llke slaves.
闻这味儿
And the smell?
全是狐臭
It’s pure underarm.
好吧，那么，我们要做的是什么？
Okay. So, um, what do we do here?
森特尔在线公♥司♥，我是史蒂芬 可以帮您什么忙吗？
Oentel Online. Steven speaking. How may I help you?
好的，小姐，能否检查下是否开机了？
Oki-doki, ma’am. Have you checked to see if your PO is on?
不，小姐，我不是弱智，这是规定…
No, ma’am, I’m not a retard. That’s the protocol…
你说什么？好吧
Sorry? Oki-doki.
我马上跟主管核对一下
I’m gonna check that with my supervisor real quick,
请不要挂机
and I’m gonna put you on hold.
你发什么火？你这个叽叽歪歪 长着土耳其脖子的鸡婆！
You feel feisty, you whiny, little turkey-neck bitch?
你干嘛不跳到我老二上弹几下
Why don’t you hop up on my dlck and bounce
看能不能打开你的显示屏，亲爱的？
and see If that flres up your monltor, sweetheart?
你好，小姐，感谢您的久等
Hello, ma’am. Thanks for waiting.
我这就帮您转接技术服务部
I’m gonna transfer you over to our technlcal servlce department,
好吗？请别挂
oki-doki? Please hold.
在盲人的国度
I n the kingdom of the blind,
独眼矮子就是国王
the one-eyed dwarf is king.
这是我妻子斯苔芬妮… 前妻，我老是忘记
That’s my wife, Stephanie. Ex-wife. I keep forgetting.
这是我的小女儿泰伊丝
And that there is my little daughter, Thais.
真是个好名字
That’s a pretty name.
是的，这是希腊语，意思是“挚爱”
Yes, it’s Greek. It means “beloved.”
泰伊丝的眼压有毛病
Thais has this problem with her eye pressure, and, uh,
医生说如果一年内不进行角膜移植
doctor said of she doesn’t get a cornea transplant like in a year,
她就会失明
then, uh, she’s gonna go blind.
每年有6万5千个糖尿病人
Every year 65, 000 diabetics
会发生视网膜增生病变
develop proliferative retinopathy,
导致失明的元凶之一
one of the leading precursors to blindness.
她没有糖尿病
She’s not diabetic.
那么，你能负担这笔手术费吗？ 在她还没…
So, are you gonna be able to afford the surgery before she…
是的，但愿如此，如果一切顺利
Yeah, yeah, I hope so. If everything, you know, goes as expected.
你这话什么意思？
What do you mean?
啊？
H uh?
我有个计划
I have a plan.
真见鬼
Hell’s bells.
你看，史蒂芬，我今年65岁了
You see, Steven, I’m 66 years old now
可我丈夫还要跟我肛♥交♥
and my husband Is asklng me to do It donkey style.
好吧，夫人
Okay, ma’am, um,
我这就为您转接技术部
I’m going to transfer you to our technical department.
请别挂…我的天哪！
Please, hold. Good God!
你有电♥话♥进来了吧？
Are you expecting a call?
嗯…
U m…
森特尔在线公♥司♥，我是查理
Oentel Online. This is Oharlie.
我能…我是史蒂芬 我能帮您什么忙吗？
How… uh, Steven. How can I help you?
是的，我的IP地址卡在169了
Yeah, my I P address Is stuck on 169.
好的，先生
Okay. Sir, um,
您肯定你开机了吗？
have you checked to make sure your computer Is on?
你没听到我刚说的话吗？
Dldn’t you hear what I just sald?
是的，对，IP地址！
Yes. Oh, I P address. I P address.
找到了
Here we go.
您的IP地址应该以81开头
Your I P address should start with 81.
那么，是这样吗？
So, does it?
我刚跟你说了，卡在169了
I just told you It was stuck on 169.
难道你们叫清洁女工接的电♥话♥吗？
Do they let the cleanlng lady answer the phone In there?
别叫我“先生”，混♥蛋♥ 帮我解决掉这该死的问题！
Don’t “slr” me, asshole. J ust help me out wlth my fucklng problem I
请稍候，我跟技术部核对一下
Please, hold on a second while I check with our technical department.
是的，先生，你妻子是 3.8％的美国妇女中的一个
Yes, sir, your wife is one of 3. 8% of American women
她们喜欢一边跟陌生人秘密网聊
who secretly engage in regular online chats with a total stranger,