冒牌老爸

真不错 我还以为你对流行的东西不了解呢
That’s nice, but you don’t know what’s going down on the streets.
是很难了解到
It’s hard to know what’s going down…
特别是像我这样一周7天都呆在办公室 收费站先生
…when you’re in an office seven days a week, Mr. Tollbooth.
你不是想让我找个真正的工作吧
You’re not gonna tell me to get a real job.
不 你是个大男孩
No. You’re a big boy.
你一周只工作一天 真爽
It’s cool you only work one day a week.
噢 这是我见过最可爱的东西
These are the cutest things I’ve ever seen.
对 我知道
I know.
我自己只有黄色的 脏了也看不出来
I have them in yellow. I wear them when I work out.
你有了Julian后你做得很不错
It’s great what you’re doing with Julian while you got him.
是 对 我现在有了他
Yeah, well, I got him.
我读了一篇文章 上面说
I read an article that said…
对孩子一生影响最大的是他的朋友
…the most important influences in a kid’s life are his friends.
真有这种说法?
They said that?
但愿他在学校不要和毒贩和小混混一起玩
Just hope he’s not hanging out with drug dealers and delinquents in school.
开个玩笑
I’m kidding.
我知道 我知道
I know. I know.
Yoo-hoo饮料真棒 你知道还有什么能让人感觉这么棒?
Man, this Yoo-hoo is good. You know what else is good?
吸毒
Smoking dope.
我不会告发你的
I ain’t going to rat you out.
吸大♥麻♥
Puffing the cheeba.
吃摇♥头♥丸♥ 迷幻药 你懂我在说什么吗?
Go by the seesaw, smoke a J. You know what I’m talking about?
我有肚脐眼
I have a bellybutton.
你有肚脐眼? 我们都有啊
You have a bellybutton? We all have bellybuttons.
而且我们都喜欢Yoo-hoo 特别是加了朗姆酒的Yoo-hoo
And we all love Yoo-hoo. Especially with a little rum.
什么是朗姆酒?
What’s rum?
你不知道?
You don’t know?
是朗姆怪?
Rumpelstiltskin?
朗姆怪是好人 你们也是
Rumpelstiltskin’s a good man. So are you guys.
要洁身自好 保持坚定 保持坚强
Stay clean. Stay focused.
好了 弗兰肯斯坦 你可以和朋友们玩了
Frankenstein, have fun with your friends.
为什么一直抓?
Why are you scratching so much?
我有疹子
I have ecza….
疹子? 真恶心
Eczema? Gross.
怎样才能不痒啊?
How do I make it stop itching?
不知道 你多抓一抓
I don’t know. You scratch it.
SpaghettiO’s 喜欢吃SpaghettiO’s吗?
SpaghettiO’s. Do you like SpaghettiO’s?
罐子扁了就只要半价
Dented cans are half price.
我们的微软股票跌了3点 我们要省点儿钱了
Microsoft went down three points. We gotta save some money.
来 摔一下
Here, give it a shot.
对了 孩子
That’s it, boy.
放进来吧 感觉真好
Put it in there. Feels good.
你好 Sonny 嗨 Sonny的朋友
Hi, Sonny. Hi, Sonny’s friend.
他叫弗兰肯斯坦
His name’s Frankenstein.
嗨 弗兰肯斯坦 记得我吗?
Hi, Frankenstein. Remember me?
帮帮我 我迷路了 我不知道自己在哪儿
Help me. I’m lost. I don’t know where I am.
不用再这样了
You don’t gotta do that.
看呐 你们穿的T恤一样大 真酷
You guys wear the same size T-shirt. That’s cool.
我听说你和我姐姐 一起去洗衣房♥洗衣服?
I heard you did laundry with my sister.
她说我们是一起洗衣服?
She said we did laundry?
因为据我所知 我们是一起那样那样
Where I’m from, it’s called doing the hibbity-dibbity.
我有疹子
I got eczema.
那你就不能抓
Well, then you shouldn’t scratch it.
不要教他该做什么 他想抓就让他抓
Don’t tell him what to do. He can scratch.
-抓吧 -这样好点吗?
-Scratch. -Is that better?
-谢谢 -不客气
-Thank you. -You’re welcome.
我不知道你还了解孩子 我还以为你是个赤脚医生
You know about kids? I thought you were a foot doctor.
这和医生没关系 你真蠢 这是常识 抓会让疹子扩散
It’s not doctor stuff. It’s common sense. Scratching spreads rashes.
这也是你当舞♥女♥时学的吧
This is something you learned at Hooters.
-他到底在干嘛? -他在购物
-What the hell is he doing? -He’s shopping.
我们的微软股票跌了3点
Microsoft went down three points.
真不错 再见 弗兰肯斯坦
That’s good. See you later, Frankenstein.
离冷冻区远点 你的胸会冻硬的
Stay away from the frozen-food section. Your boobs’ll harden.
小意大利很不错吧?
Isn’t Little ltaly the greatest?
我喜欢这儿 以前我都只去格林威治村和SoHo区玩
I like it. Everyone always tells me to hang out in the Village and SoHo.
那也挺好
That’s all right.
但是你也得尊重一个越胖越受欢迎的地方
But you gotta respect a place where the fatter you are, the cooler you are.
上次 他是和另外一个女孩在一起 他一定是把她给吃了
Last time, he was with a different girl. I guess he ate her.
我今天和小家伙去了Coney岛
I went to Coney lsland today with the little boy.
你得看看这个
You gotta take a look at this.
我们一起拍了快照
We had a blast together.
他好开心
He’s so happy.
他是个好孩子
He is such a good boy.
如果我自己有孩子 要能有这孩子一半好就行了
If I have a kid of my own, I hope he’s half as cool as that kid.
他在挖你的鼻子?
Is he picking your nose?
对 他整天挖自己的
Yeah, he was picking his own all day…
-所以我想他可以借用我的 -真好玩
-…so I figured he could borrow mine. -Sweet.
他现在没有你陪一定很难过
He must be miserable without you right now.
不 有人在照顾他
No, he’s in good hands.
瞧Brad的身材 一点脂肪都没有
Look at Brad’s body. Not an ounce of fat on it.
-什么? -别担心 我更喜欢你的身材
-What? -Don’t worry. I like yours better.
我有两张Q 两张J 还有一张A
I got two queens, two jacks and an ace.
-我赢了 -为什么你赢?
-I win. -Why do you win?
我有一张2 一张4 一张10 一张8和一张6
I got a two, a four, a ten, an eight and a six.
我不明白 那为什么你赢?
I don’t understand. Why do you win?
-因为我赢了 -你们在玩什么?
-Because I win. -What’s the name of that game?
我赢
I win.
我来开
I’ll get it!
-什么事? -我找Kevin Gerrity
-What’s up? -I’m looking for Kevin Gerrity.
他在中国 你是谁?
He’s in China. Who are you?
Arthur Brooks纽约市社会服务处的 我糊涂了
Arthur Brooks, New York City Social Services. I’m confused.
他在唐人街 他喜欢吃蛋卷
Chinatown. He loves those egg rolls.
哦 我联♥系♥了他好几次 他都没有回应
I’ve tried contacting him several times and he hasn’t responded.
我想知道怎么回事
I’m concerned.
嘿 不要吃番茄酱了
Ixnay on the ketchupnay.
-让他打电♥话♥给我 -好的
-Have him call me. -All right.
我的体型绝对比他好
My body’s definitely better than his.
毫无疑问
Without question.
我好长时间才排进你的日程 你总是在工作
It took you a long time to pencil me in. You work all the time.
我知道 我很兴奋
I know. I’m excited.
你是很兴奋 你这么疯狂工作有多久了?
You’re excited. How long you been this crazy?
我想 当我还是小女孩的时候
I guess ever since I was a little girl.
是这样 我妈很年轻时就结婚 然后生了我们
See, my mom got married really young and pretty much just raised us kids.
所以当我爸走掉时
So when my dad took off…
她这辈子就算这样了
…she wasn’t left with a lot of options.
我想我就是那时决定
And I think that’s when I decided…
我永远不能重蹈妈妈的覆辙
…that I never wanted to end up in that situation.
这确实是不停工作的好理由
That’s actually a good reason to be working.
我可能觉得 有事情要做我就要不停去做
I guess I feel like I gotta kick ass while there’s ass to be kicked.
白天你做你那些事 但晚上就和Sonny开心地玩吧
You kick that ass during the day, but at night you have fun with Sonny.
最棒的时间
The Best of Times
就是和你在一起的时候
Are when I’m alone with you
时而雨时而晴
Some rain,some shine
那么你在法律学校最好的两个哥们儿 彼此相爱了?
Two guys you were best friends with in law school fell in love with each other?
你是不是觉得很怪异?
Is that strange for you?
不 没什么改变 其实
No. Nothing changed, really.
虽然现在他们看另一类型的A片了 但也就这点变化
They watch a different kind of porno now. But that’s it.
老天 这就是Corinne的家?
My God! This is Corinne’s place?
如果她的舞♥女♥朋友看见了一定会这样说
If the girls at Hooters could see her now.
-你想挨踢啊? -我在开玩笑呢 Layla
-Do you want your ass kicked? -I’m just kidding around, Layla.
我知道你害怕恋爱而且工作也很忙 但
You’re afraid to get involved and you got a lot of work, but…
当我不和你在一起的时候总是想你 你会这样吗?
…when I’m not with you, I’m thinking of you. Do you have that going on?
可能吧
Maybe.
或许我们该试试吻一下
Maybe we should try a kiss out.
这能帮我们确定 我们是否该发展到下一个阶段
We owe it to ourselves to see if we should move to the next level.
我不确定
I’m not sure.
我也一样 只是你吻过了Scuba Steve
Me either. It’s just that you kissed Scuba Steve.
从那以后 他总是在我面前炫耀
Ever since then, he’s strutted around bragging…
“我第一晚就得到一个吻
…” I got a kiss the first night.
你都第三次约会了还什么也没有”
After three times, you got nothing.”