冒牌老爸

OJ辛普森都能洗脱谋杀罪
If O.J. can get away with murder,
Sonny为什么不能得到那孩子呢?
why can’t Sonny have his kid?
这家伙知道我在说的什么意思
This guy knows what I’m talking about.
没有其它问题了
No more questions.
你给Koufax先生送了多久外卖♥♥?
How long have you delivered food to Mr. Koufax?
我送外卖♥♥6年了
I deliver food for six years.
另外 我还是个舞男 但我长胖了 不行了
Plus, I’m stripper. But I’ve put on weight so it’s problem.
知道了 在你看来Sonny是Julian的好父亲吗?
I see. And in your experience, was Sonny a good father to Julian?
噢 是的 他们是很棒的一对父子
Oh, yes. They make terrific pair.
他们在一起就像羊和金枪鱼
They went together like lamb and tuna fish.
羊和金枪鱼?
Lamb and tuna fish?
通心粉和肉丸? 这个比喻更好吧?
Spaghetti and meatball? You more comfortable with that analogy?
是的 因为我们是在美国
Yes, considering we’re in America.
要是不喜欢通心粉和肉丸 趁早滚出去
If you don’t like spaghetti and meatballs, get out.
我要给你剃个平头
I’ll come give you a crew cut.
你的剪刀呢
Let’s see your clippers.
你♥爸♥有病又不是我的问题
Not my problem your dad was sick.
别对我大叫
Stop yelling at me!
秩序 秩序 秩序
Order! Order! Order!
请原谅 我来对地方了吗?
Am I in the right room?
你又是谁?
Who the hell are you?
我是Koufax先生的辩护律师
I’m Mr. Koufax’s co-counsel.
他的辩护律师够多了
He has enough co-counsels.
那么
Well…
再多一个也没什么
…one more won’t hurt.
我们继续 下个证人
Let’s get on with it.
大人 上来的都是Koufax先生的朋友
Mr. Koufax is simply parading his buddies up there.
不能找个不是他朋友的吗?
Can’t they find someone who isn’t a friend?
Julian和Koufax先生当时在干什么?
What were Julian and Mr. Koufax doing?
购物
Shopping.
他看上去是个关心爱护他的父亲吗?
Did he appear to be an attentive, loving father?
当然是
He certainly did.
你讨厌Koufax先生多久了?
And how long have you disliked Mr. Koufax?
自从我见到他
Since the day I met him.
还有 你在进医学院前做什么工作?
For the record, where did you work during medical school?
舞♥女♥
Hooters.
没其它问题了
No further questions.
混♥蛋♥
Asshole.
下个证人
Next witness.
大人 我们要叫Julian McGrath上庭
We’d like to call Julian McGrath.
如果你愿意 我要问几个问题
If it’s okay with you, I’d like to ask you a few questions.
这只是你和我之间的谈话
This is just you and me talking…
所以不要在意下面那些人 好吗
…so don’t pay attention to these people.
能告诉我你几岁吗?
Can you tell me how old you are?
大人 请等一下
Your Honour, one second.
这样好点 是吧?
That’s better, huh?
能告诉我你几岁吗?
Can you tell me how old you are?
5岁
Five.
你的生日呢?
What’s your birthday?
7月15
July 15th.
你在哪儿出生?
Where were you born?
多伦多
Toronto.
多伦多? 我以为你从水牛城来
Toronto? I thought you were from Buffalo.
我和妈妈搬到了水牛城
I moved to Buffalo with my mommy.
过去6周 你都和Sonny一起住?
For the past six weeks, you’ve been living with Sonny?
你和Sonny一起开心吗?
Did you and Sonny have fun?
你们都做些什么?
What kind of things would you do?
他教我摔角的绝招
He taught me how to do the sleeper hold like Chief Jay Strongbow.
真好
That’s nice.
还有呢
Anything else?
他教我怎样在墙角撒尿
He taught me how to pee on a building.
真的?
Really?
他还告诉我Styx是美国最好的摇滚乐队之一
And he taught me that Styx was one of the greatest American rock bands.
他们只是运气不好
They only caught a bad rap…
因为多数评论家都是玩世不恭的混♥蛋♥
…because most critics are cynical assholes.
我想大家都同意这点
I think we’d all agree with that.
你来这里之前 记得妈妈最后跟你说的话吗?
Before you came here, do you remember the last thing your mommy said to you?
她说她爱我并说我要跟我的新爸爸生活了
That she loved me and I was gonna live with my new daddy.
如果你妈妈要给你选个新爸爸
If your mother could pick anyone to be your new daddy…
她会选谁?
…who would she pick?
Sonny
Sonny.
谢谢你Julian
Thank you, Julian.
你可以下来了
You can step down now.
进行得不错 你觉得呢?
That went good, don’t you think?
不知道 法官看上去并不高兴
I don’t know. Judge doesn’t look too happy.
Koufax先生 还有其他人吗?
Mr. Koufax, anyone else?
我想找我自己 大人
I’d like to call upon myself, Your Honour.
很好
Awesome.
那么由哪位尊敬的律师来发问呢?
Which of your esteemed co-counsels will examine you?
我父亲Lenny Koufax
My father, Lenny Koufax.
什么?
What?
得了吧 Sonny
Forget it, Sonny.
怎么回事?
What is going on?
大人 这世界上没人比他 更不希望我得到这孩子
Nobody in this world thinks I shouldn’t have a child more than that man.
他正好也是佛罗里达一位有名的律师
He also happens to be a well-respected lawyer in Florida.
如果我能让他信服 我就能让所有人信服
If I can make a believer out of him, I can make a believer out of everybody.
反对 法庭要的是事实 而不是被告父亲的意见
This court is after the truth, not the opinion of the defendant’s father.
你要我的意见? 我儿子是个白♥痴♥
You want my opinion? My son is a moron.
我撤回反对 请继续
I withdraw my objection. Please proceed.
这是个大错误 Sonny
This is a big mistake.
我今天之所以来是不想你进监狱
I only came today to make sure you didn’t end up in jail.
你真好 谢谢
That was nice of you. Thank you.
只是来做我认为对的事
To do what I think is right here.
该剪指甲了 太长了
Cut your fingernails. They’re too long.
好的 爸
Okay, Dad.
大人 这案子很简单
This case is simple.
认为Sonny Koufax能抚养小孩是荒谬的
It is absurd to think that Sonny Koufax is ready to raise a child.
-反对 -闭嘴 Tommy
-Objection! -Shut up, Tommy.
对不起 Koufax先生
Sorry, Mr. Koufax.
首先 这个小男孩
First of all, how did…
Julian是怎么样开始接受你监管的?
…this sweet little boy, Julian, end up under your supervision?
我跟社会服务处说我叫Kevin Gerrity
I told Social Services that my name was Kevin Gerrity.
-当然 你不是Kevin Gerrity -不是
-Of course, you are not Kevin Gerrity. -No.
-所以你在撒谎 -是的
-So you lied. -Yes.
就像以前我在你内衣抽屉里发现一包大♥麻♥
Like the time I found a bag of pot in your drawer…
你说你以为那是铅笔屑
…and you said you thought they were pencil shavings.
记得我上次打电♥话♥ 告诉你Fay姨妈要来纽约
Remember when I told you Aunt Fay was coming to New York…
我想让你带她在市里逛逛?
…and I wanted you to show her the city?
但你说你有更重要的事
And you said that you had better things to do.
对
That’s right.
我很好奇 是什么重要的事呢?
I’m curious. Just what were those better things that you had to do?
Jethro Tull在新泽西举办复出演唱会 所以我得去
Jethro Tull had a reunion concert in New Jersey, so I caught that.
那么Fay姨妈后来发生了什么?
What happened to Aunt Fay that weekend?
死了
She died.
对 她死了
Yes, she did.
你后来去参加她的葬礼了吗?
Did you happen to make it to her funeral?
为什么没去?
Why not?
我去海滩玩 喝多睡着了
I went to Jones Beach, got drunk and fell asleep.
真有你的
Hell, yes!
真是个好榜样
Some role model.
法官大人
Your Honour…
我儿子没有医疗保险
…my son doesn’t have health insurance.
他不会煮鸡蛋
He doesn’t know how to boil an egg.
30岁才申请社保
He filed for social security at the age of 30.
他依赖于经济 依赖于国家
He is a drain on the economy, on the country…
还依赖于我
…and most of all, on me!
法官大人
Your Honour…
把一个人的抚养权交给
…to give this young man…
这个年轻人不仅是个错误
…custody over another life is not only wrong…
简直是疯了
…it’s insane.