美剧《风骚律师》第二季 第二集

No, no!
他一直回避 因为那是个敏感话题
He’s being evasive because it’s a sensitive subject,
需要小心处理 和执法完全无关
very delicate, and of no concern to law enforcement.
尽管我们想相信你的话
You know, as much as we’d love to, um, take your word for it,
但你说的这些还不够
we’re gonna need a little more than that.
好吧 这都归结到一起私人纠纷上
All right, well, this all comes down to a personal dispute.
就这样
That’s all.
是沃莫尔德先生
It’s — it’s between, um, Mr. Wormald
还有他的艺术赞助人的纠纷
and, uh… his art patron.
-“艺术赞助人” -没错
– “Art patron”? – u202dYeah.
我的委托人和一个有钱人有一个协议
Uh, my client has an arrangement with a wealthy gentleman
沃莫尔德先生向他提供
for whom Mr. Wormald provides…
艺术品 以此获得他慷慨的…
art in exchange for u202dthis gentleman’s generous, uh…
我们称之为资助
We’ll call it patronage.
艺术品 例如绘画吗
Art? Like — like what? Paintings?
更像是电子媒体
It’s more like digital media.
电子媒体
Digital media?
他为那个人拍视频
He made videos for the man.
哪种视频
What kind of videos?
具有艺术性的私人视频
Private videos of an artistic nature.
那就是藏在暗道里的东西
That’s what was in the hiding place.
就是这样
That’s what it’s for.
那么这个艺术赞助人偷了视频和棒球卡吗
So, this art patron stole the videos and the baseball cards?
那是个误会
Well, there was a misunderstanding.
还是叫创意分歧比较好
I mean, uh, u202dcall it creative differences.
艺术家都是喜怒无常的
Artists are volatile creatures.
伙计们 这就是情人吵架
Guys, this all comes down to just a lovers’ spat, okay?
两个成年男子闹翻了
Two consenting adults had a falling out.
常有的事
That happens.
赞助人偷了视频
And the, uh, “Patron” stole the videos
还有棒球卡 我猜是为了”表明观点”
and the baseball cards, uh, to “Make a point,” I guess.
但关键是 都解决了
But the headline here is, it’s all settled.
感情修复了
Hearts have mended,
沃莫尔德先生不会起诉
and Mr. Wormald will not be pressing charges.
视频内容是什么
What was on these videos?
-很私密 -我知道
– They were private. – You’ve said that.
视频内容意在
They were videos intended
刺♥激♥感官
to titillate the senses.
-好吧 是黄♥片♥吗 -不
– Okay, so porn. – Not — no.
不是这种
Not as such.
严格来说 应该是恋物视频
Technically, they would be categorized as fetish videos.
但没有违法内容
But nothing illegal.
就是一个男人 穿戴整齐 我补充一句
Just a man — a fully clothed man, I might add —
只有他自己
Just all by himself.
沃莫尔德先生穿戴整齐
Just — just Mr. Wormald fully clothed,
没错
yeah.
-就是这样 -好的
– So… – All right.
所以穿戴整齐的沃莫尔德先生
So, fully clothed Mr. Wormald
在做什么事
by himself doing what?
是啊 在做什么
Yeah, come on, man. What?
“蹲派”
Squat cobbler.
蹲什么玩意儿
What’s a s-squat cobbler?
蹲派 你们知道的
Squat cobbler. u202dYou know what squat cobbler is.
不 我不知道那是什么
No, I don’t — I don’t know what a squat cobbler is.
我也不知道 那是什么
No, me neither. What is it?
你们两是警♥察♥吗
What? And you two guys are cops?
霍博肯蹲派
Hoboken squat cobbler.
满月派
Full moon moon-pie.
波士顿奶油派
Boston cream splat.
真的吗
Seriously?
“蹲男”西蒙
Simple-simon-the-ass-man.
荷兰苹果蹲
Dutch apple ass.
伙计们 我说的不是英语吗
Guys, am I not speaking english here?
蹲派到底是什么
What the hell is a squat cobbler?!
就是一个男人坐在派里
It’s when a man sits in pie!
他坐在派里
He sits in a pie!
还来回扭动
And he… he wiggles around.
也许是好乐门蛋黄酱
Maybe it’s like Hellmann’s mayonnaise.
落基山以西有不同的叫法
It has a different name west of the Rockies.
我也不知道 但严格来说
I don’t know. But, uh, technically,
他是边哭边蹲的
He does a crybaby squat, so there’s tears,
所以看起来更专业
which makes it more specialized.
不是所有蹲派者都要哭的
Not all pie sitters cry.
但我要说的是
But I’m gonna tell you something.
这家伙一哭起来
This guy is a regular Julianne Moore
演得比朱丽安·摩尔还棒
once he gets u202dthe waterworks cranked up.
派
Pies?
比如苹果派吗
What? Like apple?
伙计 不是我拍的好吗
Guys, I’m not u202dthe filmmaker here, all right?
有香蕉奶油 桃子
Banana cream. I — uh, peach.
哦对 还要穿道具服装
Oh, and there — u202dand there is a costume involved.
你忽悠我们呢
You got to be shitting us.
是啊 随便你们信不信
Yeah, like I would make this up.
大千世界无奇不有 兄弟
Hey, the world is u202da rich tapestry, my friends.
不过相信我
But trust me on this.
你们不会想看的
You don’t want to see it.
所以 没事了 是吧
So, uh, we’re good, right?
是 没问题了
Yeah. Great.
不过 还有一个小隐患 要善后
There is, however, one little, tiny hanging chad.
什么 什么隐患
Well, what? What chad?
你得拍一个视频
You’re gonna have to make a video.
等等等等
wait. Wait.
他是把馅饼吃了还是坐在馅饼里
So he eats the pies or just sits in them?
都有 想要什么有什么
Both. Whatever you want.
哪个先来
Which comes first?
随便
Uh, it’s dealer’s choice.
这时候就该上哭戏了 是吧
That’s where the crying comes in, right?
哭戏是必须的
That’s a safe bet.
你到底是怎么想出这主意的
How the hell u202ddid you come up with that?
就是给我一百年
If you gave me a million years,
我也想不出这玩意
I still would not have come up with that.
灵感女神
The muse.
我说出了她的想法
She speaks through me.
我不过是区区传话筒
I am but a humble vessel.
他们信了吗
And they bought it?
信了
Yeah.
我也听说过一些很离谱让人难以相信的情节
I’ve heard some far-out scenarios used to sow doubt,
但这绝对是最扯淡[赢得蛋糕]的
but this definitely takes the cake.
金 金 金
Kim, Kim, Kim.
-知道啦是”馅饼” -对
– Takes the pie. u202d- Yeah.
抱歉
Sorry.
我现在应该跳楼谢罪
I should just jump off the roof right now.
对啊 你是该自责
Yeah, you should feel bad about yourself.
天哪 你可真能诌
Jesus, can you tell a story.
我觉得其实是那视频让他们信了
Well, to be fair, I think it was the video that clinched it.
什么视频
What video?
等等 你们真的拍了一个视频
Wait, wait. You — u202dyou actually made a video?
不得不说 到最后 老丹还挺入戏的
I got to say, in the end, Ol’ Dan really committed.
那眼泪把我都打动了
I believed the tears.
这个是剩下的道具 多出来的
Um, this is a leftover prop. It was extra.
我不确定我们要拍几条 就多买♥♥了些
I wasn’t sure how many takes we would need, so I over-bought,
不过我保证 绝对没被屁♥股♥坐过
But I promise you, u202duntouched by human buttocks.
你伪造证据
You fabricated evidence?
我就拍了个视频
I made a video.
算不上证据
Not exactly evidence.
你用它来为委托人脱罪
You used it to exonerate a client.
你用伪造的证据为委托人脱罪
You used falsified evidence to exonerate a client.
你这是钻牛角尖
Mm, I think you’re splitting hairs.
我没有钻牛角尖
I’m not splitting hairs.
万一戴维斯梅因律所发现你伪造证据怎么办
What if Davis & Main find out you faked evidence?
他不是戴维斯梅因律所的客户