成为约翰·马尔科维奇

傀儡人生
克雷格 亲爱的 该睡觉了
Craig, honey, it’s time for bed.
克雷格 亲爱的 该起床了
Craig, honey, time to get up.
克雷格 亲爱的 该起床了
Craig, honey, time to get up.
克雷格 亲爱的 该起床了
Craig, honey, time to get up.
-洛蒂 -抱歉
-Lotte. -I’m sorry.
我不知道欧文从笼子出来 来这里
I didn’t know Orrin Hatch was out of his cage.
-亲爱的 早 宝贝 -早
-Come on. Morning, sweetheart. -Morning.
今天你想做些什么
What are you gonna do today?
到工作室去
Working in the workshop.
我在想
I was thinking.
你去找份工作可能会好一点
Maybe you’d feel better if you got a job.
我们已经谈过这件事
We’ve been over this.
现在经济不景气 没人会雇用木偶师
Nobody’s looking for a puppeteer in today’s wintry economic climate.
亲爱的 我知道 但是我认为…
I know, honey, but I thought, you know…
你可以在木偶业复苏前找些别的工作
maybe something else until this puppet thing turns around.
德瑞克·曼提尼就不需要这么做
Derek Mantini doesn’t need a day job.
克雷格
Craig.
并不是每个人都能成为德瑞克·曼提尼
Not everybody can be Derek Mantini.
我要到店里去了 今天会进一批猫咪
I gotta get to the shop. We have a shipment of kitty litter coming in.
能不能帮我一个忙 看着伊利亚
Will you do me a favor? Will you take a look at Elijah today?
他今天又不舒服
He’s not feeling very good again.
哪一个是伊利亚
Which one is Elijah again?
黑猩猩
The chimp, honey.
好
Yeah, okay.
今天威彻斯特郡的娱乐消息…
On the lighter side of the news, in Westchester County today…
木偶名家德瑞克·曼提尼的
puppeteer Derek Mantini
《艾摩斯特美女》震撼所有观众…
thrilled onlookers as he performed The Belle of Amherst…
剧中 他使用六呎高的埃米莉·狄金生木偶
with a 60-foot Emily Dickinson puppet.
身为名人是如此烦闷
How dreary to be somebody.
如此张扬 有如青蛙整天向人说名道姓
How public, like a frog, to tell one’s name the live long day.
耍花招的混♥蛋♥
Gimmicky bastard.
当猴子真好命
You don’t know lucky you are, being a monkey.
因为人的意识…
Because consciousness…
是可怕的诅咒
is a terrible curse.
藉由思考 感觉而备受苦恼
I think, I feel… I suffer.
我所要求的只不过是有机会做我喜爱的工作
And all I ask in return is the opportunity to do my work.
但他们却不允许
And they won’t allow it…
因为我惹人争议
because I raise issues.
当我们享受苦恋的欢愉
While we enijoy the pleasures of an uneasy love…
放纵自己于偷奸之中
and abandon ourselves to fornication…
我们忘却了上帝的严苛
we were spared God’s severity.
别再说了 求求你
Say no more, I beg you, and cease from complaints like these…
别再发出与真爱无关的怨怼
which are so far removed from the true depths of love.
看 木偶表演
Look, a puppet show!
亲爱的 只能看一会儿 妈咪在等我们
Okay, honey, just for a minute. Mommy’s waiting.
在做弥撒时 我们的祷告应该纯洁
Even during the celebration of Mass when our prayers should be pure…
这些淫念却紧撅住我的灵魂
lewd visions of these pleasures take such a hold upon my unhappy soul…
使我满怀欲念 无心祷告
that my thoughts are on their very wantonness instead of my prayers.
有时我的动作泄露了我的思绪
Sometimes my thoughts are betrayed by the movement of my body.
我用你来满足我可怜的欢愉
I took my fill of my wretched pleasures in you…
这就是我全部的爱
and this was the sum total of my love.
你这个混♥蛋♥
You motherfucker!
喔 克雷格
Oh, Craig!
亲爱的 你又挨打了
Honey, not again!
为什么要折磨自己
Why do you do this to yourself, honey?
我是木偶师
I’m a puppeteer.
七楼半 对不对
Seven and a half, right?
对
Uh, yeah.
我会带你过去
I’ll take you through it.
七楼半
Seven and a half.
谢谢
Thank you.
欢迎来到莱斯特公♥司♥ 需要什么档案服务
Welcome to Lestercorp. How may we meet your filing needs?
我叫克雷格·施瓦兹 来和莱斯特博士面试
No. Um… my name’s Craig Schwartz. I have an interview with Dr. Lester.
请坐 华拉兹先生
Please have a seat, Mr. Juarez.
施瓦兹
Schwartz.
-什么 -施瓦兹
-Pardon? -Schwartz.
对不起 我不知道你现在说什么
I-I’m sorry. I have no idea what you’re saying to me right now.
我的名字是施瓦兹
My name is Schwartz.
我的名字是华兹
My name is Warts?
华拉兹先生
Mr. Juarez?
喔 是
Oh. Yes?
胸部
Chest?
我说”是”
I said, “Yes?”
你建议什么 对不起…
You suggest what? I’m sorry…
我没有时间应付你们这些求职者无聊的事
I have no time for piddling suggestions from mumbling job applicants.
莱斯特博士准备见你了
Besides, Dr. Lester will see you now.
请进 华拉兹先生
Come in, Mr. Juarez.
其实我的名字是克雷格·施瓦兹 莱斯特博士
Actually, my name is Craig Schwartz, Dr. Lester.
警卫
Security!
不 先生 是你的秘书老把我的名字搞错
No, sir, it’s… It’s just a little mix-up with your secretary.
我的名字是克雷格·施瓦兹 我试着要向她说明
My name is Craig Schwartz. I tried to explain that to her.
她不是我的秘书
She’s not my secretary.
她是所谓的执行联络员
She’s what they call an executive liaison.
我可没有跟她上♥床♥ 如果那是你所暗示的
And I am not banging her, if that’s what you’re implying.
不 先生 当然没有
No, sir, not at all.
我想是我表达错误
I think I must have simply misspoke.
现在告诉我 施瓦兹先生…
Ah. Well, now, tell me, Dr. Schwartz…
你能为公♥司♥贡献些什么
what do you feel you can bring to Lestercorp?
先生 我是优秀的档案员
Uh, well, sir, I’m an excellent filer.
是吗 我们来试试看
Are you? All right. Let’s see about that.
这两个字母 哪个在前面 这个还是这个
Tell me, which of these two letters comes first? This one or this one?
左边的符号♥不是字母
The symbol on the left is not a letter, sir.
你真行
Damn, you’re good.
我本来想骗你
I was trying to trick you.
原来如此
I see.
把这些照顺序排好
Well, then, put these in order.
是的 先生
Yes, sir.
芙洛丽丝 联络葛尼斯
Floris, get Guinness on the phone.
是的 先生 成吉思汗卡波恩 了解
Yes, sir. Genghis Khan Capone. Fine.
真是不错的女人 芙洛丽丝
Damn fine woman… Floris.
不知道她怎能忍♥受我这种语言障碍的毛病
I don’t know how she puts up with this speech impediment of mine.
莱斯特博士 你没有语言障碍
You don’t have a speech impediment, Dr. Lester.
拍马屁能使你所向无敌
Flattery will get you everywhere, my boy.
不过这点我倒要相信芙洛丽丝
I’m afraid I have to trust Floris on that one.
因为她在西凯
You see, she’s got her doctorate
拿到语言障碍学的博士学位
in speech impedimentology from Case Western.
如果你听不懂我的话 在此向你道歉
I apologize if you can’t understand a word I’m saying.
不 我完全听得懂
No, I understand perfectly.
真是善意的谎言
Oh, it’s very kind of you to lie.
由于我的语言障碍
You see, I’ve been very lonely in my isolated
生活一直很寂寞
tower of indecipherable speech.
你录取了
You got the job.
有任何疑问吗
Any questions?
只有一点
Well, ijust one.
为什么天花板这么低
Why are these ceilings so low?
降低费用啊 把积蓄留给你们
Low overhead, my boy! We pass the savings on to you.
说真的 在公♥司♥简介影片中会说明
But seriously, that’ll all be covered in orientation.
欢迎来到莫丁佛莱默大厦的七楼半
Welcome to the seven and a half floor of the Mertin Flemmer Building.
既然你要开始在这里上班…
As you’ll now be spending your work day here, it is important…
就必须了解这个著名楼层的历史
that you learn a bit about the history of this famous floor.
哈啰 唐
Hello, Don.
哈啰 温迪
Hello, Wendy.
唐 我很好奇
Don, I was wondering,
为什么这里的天花板这么低
do you know why our workplace has such low ceilings?
那是一个很有趣的故事
It’s an interesting story.
在十九世纪末
Many years ago in the late 1800s…
詹姆士莫丁 一位爱尔兰船长来到这个城市
James Mertin, an Irish ship captain, came to this town…
决定兴建一座办公大楼
and decided to erect an office building.
名为莫丁佛莱默大厦 取自他的名字
He called this building the Mertin Flemmer Building after himself…
和一位传说叫佛莱默的人