初学者（2010）

No.
不知道
l just thought you and Mom weren’t in love.
我以为你和妈妈从未相爱过
We loved each other.
我们深爱着对方
But you were gay the whole time.
但是你由始至终都是同志
Well, l worked hard not to be.
我极力改变
For 44 years?
努力了44年吗
Yeah.
是的
l knew l was gay, though.
尽管我深知自己是个同志
l mean, at parties l’d be
聚会上
staring at the husbands and not the wives.
我总是盯着丈夫而不是妻子
What about sex?
性生活怎么样
Well, she didn’t think l was the greatest lover.
她并不认为我是个完美的爱人
But we made do.
但是性事勉强凑合
Look, l liked my life.
我爱我的生活
The museum, our house.
博物馆 我们的家
That’s what l wanted.
这就是我要的
And Mom.
还有妈妈
You wanted Mom, too, right?
你也想要妈妈 对吗
Yes!
当然
Stop that.
别这样
She proposed to me, you know.
她倒追我
l said,
我这样跟她说
“Look, l love you, and we’re great buddies,
我爱你 我们是死党
but you know what l am.”
但你知道我喜欢男人
And then she says,
然后她说
“That doesn’t matter.
没关系
l’ll fix that.”
我会把你掰直
l thought,
我原想
“Oh, God.
天哪
l’ll try anything.”
那就试试吧
Sex.
性
Life.
生活
Healing.
治愈
Sunlight.
阳光
Nature.
自然
Magic.
魔法
Serenity.
宁静
Spirit.
精神
The first Gay Pride flag
第一面同志骄傲的旗帜
was made by a man named Gilbert Baker in 1978.
由吉尔伯特·贝克在1978年制♥作♥
He gave a meaning to each color.
他赋予每一种颜色一种意义
This man was President.
这是当年的总统
This was invented.
当时的发明
This is what movies looked like.
当时的电影
Pets.
当时的宠物
On November 27th, 1978,
1978年11月27日
Harvey Milk was shot and killed.
哈维·米尔克遭枪击身亡
One week after, my father
一周后
opened his annual museum Christmas exhibit.
父亲开了个年度圣诞展
He collected stuffed animals from people in the community
他收集了社区中人们的毛绒动物玩具
and he put them on display.
放到展览上
My father printed a quote from The Velveteen Rabbit
父亲还引用了《绒毛兔子》的故事
in large type on the wall.
用大号♥字体贴在墙上
The stuffed rabbit asked, “What is real?”
绒毛兔子问 真实是什么?
And the rabbit asked, “Does it hurt?”
兔子又问 疼吗
And the horse said, “Sometimes.”
马说 偶尔
“Does it happen all at once?”
疼痛是瞬间的吗
“It takes a long time.
总是持续很长时间
Generally, by the time you are real,
总之 当你变成真的
most of your hair has been loved off,
头发会被扯掉大半
your eyes dropped out, and you get loose in the joints.
眼睛掉落 缺胳膊少腿
But these things don’t matter at all
但一点都不要紧
because you are real.
因为你是真实的
You can’t be ugly except to people who don’t understand.”
只有不理解真实的人才会觉得你丑
Andy’s moving in.
安迪搬过来了
Yeah?
是嘛
Is that a good idea?
这样好吗
Just be happy about it. Huh?
开心点 好吗
The Sads: First couple, too in love, to feel sad.
什么是悲伤 人们相爱才会感到悲伤
Come on.
拜托
This is the idea, is that it’s the history of sadness.
这个想法旨在描述悲伤的历史
Here could be your… This could be your…
这里是你的…这是你的…
You know, you’re gonna need a big CD box.
你得有个大容量的光盘盒
Four billion years ago, Earth begins.
四十亿年前 地球诞生
And the idea is that sadness has not yet been created, but…
我想悲伤却并未出现 然而…
l’m sorry.
抱歉
l’m sorry, too.
我也很抱歉
Well, that went well.
没事 一切顺利
Come on, Arthur.
来吧 亚瑟
This is the living room.
这是客厅
Dining room.
餐厅
There are my… I have some boxes. They’re my parents.
到处都是纸箱子 这是我父母
My mom.
我妈妈
Hal, Georgia, meet Anna.
豪尔 乔姿娜 这是安娜
Anna, Hal, Georgia.
安娜 这是豪尔 乔姿娜
These are the stairs. Oh, yeah?
这是楼梯 是嘛
They go up.
通到楼上
l emptied these for you.
腾了点地方给你放东西
l’ll get your case.
我去拿行李
Are you okay?
你还好吗
l couldn’t sleep and l didn’t want to bother you.
我睡不着 又不想吵醒你
l was…
我…
l was nervous
我很紧张
and excited.
也很兴奋
l kept thinking, maybe,
我一直在想 也许
l’m not so lost.
我有点混乱
Why were you crying yesterday?
昨天为什么哭
You okay?
你还好吗
Yeah.
很好
You look so unhappy.
你样子不开心
Well, are you happy?
那你开心吗
Here?
待在这里
Maybe I’m not perfect at it.
也许这里不那么完美
I don’t really know what I’m doing.
我真的不知道我在干嘛
But I wanna be here.
但我想留在这里
I don’t know, Anna.
我不知道 安娜
I don’t think this is what I’m supposed to feel like.
我觉得事情不该这样
Okay.
好吧
I will go back to New York then.
我搬回纽约
Hal, you don’t need to come in for any more treatments.
豪尔 你不需要继续治疗了
Is there something wrong?
有什么问题吗
It’s best you stay home.
你最好待在家
Hospice can help you more now.
临终关怀院更适合你
Any more treatments would just
继续治疗只会带来
cause more pain.
更多的疼痛
Yeah, l understand.
好的 我明白了
l’m sorry. I wish we could do more.
很抱歉 我希望我们能帮你更多
No, no, you’ve, you’ve done an excellent job, Dr. Long.
不不 你已经做得很好了 龙医生
And thank you
谢谢你
for coming to the party.
来参加聚会
You always wanted to hold my hand when you were little.
你小时候总是拉着我的手
l couldn’t, you know. I was afraid it would look funny.
我可不想 我担心会显得滑稽
l wanted to be close, you know,
我也想被亲近
and my father certainly was never close with me.
但父亲总是和我很疏远
God, l hope l wasn’t like that.
天哪 但愿我不像他那样
l can barely remember you from when l was little.
我不太记得以前的你了
I guess I was at work.
我肯定是忙于工作
Look at the hand of the man in the brushwork.
看看画中男人的手
lt’s as if you can feel
你可以感觉到
the spirit of the artist, if he’s very good.
画家的内心