爱在日落黄昏时

…that morning right before you left.
我一直记着，我非常怀念
I remembered that, and I missed it.
很神经质，对吧？
Really crazy, right?
现在我明白了，你想知道为什么我写了那本烂书吗？
Now I know for sure. You wanna know why I wrote that stupid book?
– 为什么？ – 因为这样你就会参加巴黎的一场读者见面会
– Why? – So you’d come to a reading in Paris…
…而我就可以走过去，问你：“你到底去哪里了？”
…and I could walk up to you and ask,”Where the fuck were you? ”
你真的觉得我今天会来？
No… You think I’d be here today?
真的，我之所以写这本书，从某种意义来讲，就是为了能找到你
I’m serious. I think I wrote it,in a way, to try to find you.
好啦，这…我知道这不是真的
Okay, that’s… I know that’s not true…
– 不过听了还是很高兴 – 我觉得这是真的
– …but that’s sweet of you. – I think it is true.
我们还有机会再见面吗？
What were the chances of us ever meeting again?
过了那个十二月，我想机率基本就是零了吧
After that December,I’d say almost zero.
不过反正我们也不是来真的，对吗？
But we’re not real anyway, right?
我们只不过是那个老妇人梦中的角色
We’re just characters in that old lady’s dream.
她在她的病床上回忆年轻时的故事
She’s on her deathbed,fantasizing about her youth.
所以我们当然会见面！
So of course we had to meet again.
天哪！你为什么那天没有出现在维也纳？
Oh, God. Why weren’t you there in Vienna?
– 我告诉过你了！ – 我知道，但是…
– I told you why. – I know why, I just….
我真的希望你去了！
I wish you would have been.
我们的生活可能会完全不一样！
Our lives might have been so much different.
你真这么觉得？
You think so?
没错
I actually do.
也许不会呢，也许最后我们会憎恨对方呢
Maybe not. Maybe we would have hated each other eventually.
是吗，就像现在我们这样憎恨对方？
What, like we hate each other now?
你知道的，可能我们…我们只适合那种偶遇…
You know, maybe we’re… We’re only good at brief encounters…
…在温暖的天气里，漫步在欧洲的街头
…walking around in European cities,in warm climate.
天哪，为什么我们没有交换电♥话♥号♥码呢？
Oh, God. Why didn’t we exchange phone numbers and stuff?
为什么？
Why didn’t we do that?
因为那时我们太年轻，不成熟？
Because we were young and stupid.
你觉得我们现在还是如此吗？
Do you think we still are?
我觉得，当你年轻的时候，你会相信…
I guess when you’re young you just believe…
…你会认识很多人
…there’ll be many people you’ll connect with.
但后来你才会发现能交流的人其实很少
Later in life you realize it only happens a few times.
何况你又不能保证和他们好好相处，就这样，失去联♥系♥了
And you can screw it up, you know.Misconnect.
过去的就让它过去吧，事情本来就是这样的
The past is the past.It was meant to be that way.
你真的相信吗？任何事情都是注定的？
You really believe that?That everything’s fated?
这个嘛，你明白吗，世界也许没有我们想的那么多变
Well, you know, the world might be less free than we think.
是吗？
Yeah?
如果给定了特定的条件，就总会发生一样的结果
When given these exact circumstances,that’s what will happen every time.
两份氢，一份氧，获得的总是水
Two part hydrogen, one part oxygen,you’ll get water every time.
不，我是说如果你祖母晚去世一个礼拜呢？
No, I mean, what if your grandmother had lived a week longer, you know?
或者是早一个礼拜去世？甚至是几天？
Or passed away a week earlier?Days, even?
事情都可能完全不一样！我坚信这一点！
Things might have been different.
– 不，你不能这样想，那只是… – 我知道对于大多数事情来说的确是注定的
– You can’t think like that, it’s… – You shouldn’t on most things, but….
但是，只是这件事，我觉得这事很不对劲
It’s just, on this one, it seemed like something was off, you know.
你知道吗，在我结婚前的那个月，我一直都在想着你
In the months leading up to my wedding,I was thinking about you all the time.
即使在去婚礼的路上，我坐在车里，我的一个朋友送我进城
Even on my way there, I’m in the car, a buddy of mine is driving me downtown…
…我看着窗户，觉得我看到你了
…and I’m staring out the window and I think I see you…
…离教堂不远…
…not far from the church, right…
…收起一把雨伞，走进一家熟食店…
…folding up an umbrella and walking into a deli…
…就在百老汇和十三街的交汇处
…on the corner of 13th and Broadway.
那时我觉得我快要发疯了你知道吗？但现在我觉得这也许就是你
And I thought I was going crazy.But now I think it probably was you.
我住在百老汇和十一街的交汇处
I lived on 11 th and Broadway.
你看！
You see?
那，结婚的感觉怎样，你还没说呢
So, what is it like to be married?You haven’t talked much about that.
我没有吗？真奇怪
I haven’t? How weird.
我不知道怎么说，我们是在上大学的时候认识的
I don’t know. We met, you know,when I was in college.
有几年，我们分分合合，然后…
And we broke up and got back together for a period of years, and then….
怎么来着？我们好像又在一起了，然后她就怀孕了…
What? We were sort of back together and she was pregnant…
所以就结婚咯
…so marriage.
她怎么样？
What is she like?
她是个好老师，好妈妈
She’s a great teacher, a good mom.
她很聪明，很漂亮
She’s smart, pretty, you know.
我记得那时我想…
I remember thinking at the time…
…很多我所崇拜的人…
…that so many of the men that I admired most…
…他们的生命都奉献给了比自己更重要的东西
…that their lives were dedicated to something greater than themselves.
所以你结婚是因为你崇拜的人都结婚了？
So you got married because men you admired were married?
不，不…准确来说是…我内心中有种对自我的完美期许
No, no. It’s more like I had this… This idea of my best self, you know?
你懂吗？我想去追求那种自我
And I wanted to pursue that…
即使代价是失去真实的自我！
…even if it might have been overriding my honest self.
你懂我的意思吗？
You know what I’m saying?
我记得在那个时候，我并不觉得和“谁”结婚这个问题很重要
In the moment, I remember thinking it didn’t much matter, the who of it all.
一个人并不是你生命的全部
I mean, that nobody is gonna be everything to you…
…到头来这只是一种负责的表现…
…and that it’s just the action of committing yourself…
…就是说，负担起你的责任来，这才是最重要的
…you know, meeting your responsibilities, that matters.
我是说，爱是什么？如果它不是尊敬，信赖和钦佩的话？
I mean, what is love, right,if it’s not respect, trust, admiration?
而我当时都感觉到了啊
And I… I felt all those things.
谈到现在，我感觉我好像在办一个托儿所
Cut to the present,and I feel like I’m running a nursery…
…跟一个我曾经约会过的人
…with somebody I used to date you know.
我是说，我就像一个修道士
I mean, I’m like a monk, you know.
我在过去的四年中，做♥爱♥还不到十次
I mean, I’ve had sex less than 10 times in the last four years.
– 干嘛，干嘛？你笑我？ – 没有
– What, what? You laughing at me? – No.
– 听起来很可悲吗？ – 你看到过有修道士做过十次爱的吗？
– It sounds pathetic? – What monastery do monks have sex…?
好，你是对的，我比一般的修道士强，可以了吧？
Okay, you’re right, I’m doing better than most monks.
但是我的确觉得，如果现在有人碰我的话
But I do, I feel like if somebody were to touch me…
我就会马上融化的了
…I would dissolve into molecules.
好啦，我们到了，该走了，快
Well, we’re here. We’ve gotta go.Come on.
该死
Shit.
– [法语]晚上好 – [法语]晚上好
– Bonsoir! – Bonsoir!
– 我很遗憾听到那些 – 什么？
– I’m sorry to hear that, you know. – What?
你对你的婚姻好像不怎么满意
You’re not that happy with your marriage.
– 我刚才说到的那个朋友，她是神经科医生 – 她怎么了？
– This friend of mine, she’s a shrink… – How’s she doing?
她的生活很糟，不过…
She’s a mess, but….
她告诉我她遇过很多夫妻…
No, she said she’s been dealing with couples that are breaking up…
– 为了同样的理由而分开 – 什么理由？
– …for the same reason. – What reason is that?
他们都期望，在共同生活了几年以后
They all expected, after a few years of living together…
…他们的热情，欲望还和当初一样
…for the passion, that desire,to be the same.
– 这是不可能的！ – 是啊，没错
– Yeah, right. – It’s impossible.
而且谢天谢地…
And thank God…
…如果我们一直保持激♥情♥的话，我们会得动脉瘤的
…we’d end up with aneurysms in that constant state of excitement, right?
我们一生将一事无成
We’d do nothing at all with our lives.
如果你每五分钟就做一次爱，你还能写完你的书吗？
Would you have finished your book if you were fucking every five minutes?
我很乐意接受这个挑战
I might have welcomed the challenge,I mean….
但是，你懂吗，很自然的，当你太太生了小孩以后
It’s natural for your wife after the birth of your son…
– 她就会把她的爱转移到小孩身上 – 当然
– …to give all her love to the little one. – Of course.
想想看如果她执迷于性♥爱♥，像野猫一样不停挑逗你
If she was obsessed with sex,riding you like a wildcat….
这不合情理，对吧？
That wouldn’t make any sense, right?
不是这样的，你说得都很有道理，但这不是性的问题
Everything you’re saying makes sense.It’s not about sex.
是啊，我知道，很明显不是
No, I know. It’s obvious.
我…
I….
你知道，现在的夫妻感情很复杂
You know, couples are so confused lately.
我觉得肯定是因为…
I think it must be that…
…男人总想让人觉得他们很重要，但事实已不是这样了
…men need to feel essential and they don’t anymore.
多年以来，这种观念深植于他们脑海之中…
It’s been imprinted in their head for so many years…
…好像他们就必须要是家里的顶梁柱
…that they had to be the provider.
比如，我在工作中就是一个坚强，独♥立♥的女性
Like, I’m a strong, independent woman in my professional life.
我不需要一个男人养我
I don’t need a man to feed me…
…但我仍要一个男人爱我，而我也爱他
…but I still need a man to love me and that I could love.
– 好啦，我看到你的司机了 – 是的
– So your driver’s here. – Yeah.
那，我想我该告别了
Well, I guess this is goodbye.
– 你最好把你的… – 不
– You better give me your… – No, no.
我们不如送你回家吧
Why don’t we just give you a ride home?
– 这个嘛，我可以搭地铁，我没事 – 不，我…
– Well, I can take the Metro. I’m fine. – No, I…
我的飞机要十点才飞，我会提前两个钟头去
My flight’s not until 10.I’ll be arriving two hours early.
这样我们就可以继续谈了
This way we can keep talking.
– 先生，能…？ – 那不顺路的
– Monsieur, can…? – It’s not on the way.
[法语]您能把我带到马场附近的十号♥路吗？
Ca vous arrive me deposer au passage Dix Rue des petits ecuries?
[法语]当然可以
Oui, oui.
– [法语]我们走吧 – [法语]麻烦您了
– Allons-y! – Ca peut etre trop tard?
[法语]不，不，没问题
No, no, ce n’est pas de probleme!
[法语]您就把我带到“水塔”地铁站附近就行了