爱在日落黄昏时

– Well, I guess they’re not as… – What?
怎么说呢
What’s the word?
– 好色？他们不那么好色… – 好色？
– Horny? They’re not as horny. – Horny?
等等，听我这么说怎样，对此，我以身为美国人而骄傲
Wait, listen to me on this one. In that regard, I am proud to be an american.
你确实应该如此，仅对此一点
And you should be.In that regard only.
[法语]谢谢
Merci.
你去过东欧吗？
Have you ever spent time in Eastern Europe?
东欧？没，没有…谢谢
Eastern… No, I don’t.Thank you.
我记得当我十多岁的时候我去过华沙
I remember as a teenager I went to Warsaw…
那时它还是共♥产♥主义的那一套
…when it was still a strict communist regime.
– 对此我是一点也不支持 – 当然…
– Which I don’t approve of at all. – Sure you don’t.
– 不是，我才没有… – 好啦，我只是开玩笑！
– No, I don’t. – I’m just kidding.
但是，不管怎样，我发现待在那里是件很有意思的事
But anyway, something about being there was very interesting.
仅仅几个星期之后，我就有了改变
After a couple of weeks,something changed in me.
那座城市又阴郁又灰暗…
The city was quite gloomy and gray…
但是过了一阵以后，我头脑变的更清醒了
…but after a while,my brain seemed clearer.
我在日记上记录了更多的东西
I was writing more in my journal…
– 很多我以前从来没有过的想法 – 共♥产♥主义的想法？
– …ideas I’d never thought of before… – Communist ideas?
– 听着，我可不是… – 对不起，我…
– Listen, I’m not… – I’m sorry, I…
– 好吧 – 继续！
– Okay. – Go on.
以后我要送你去俄♥国♥古♥拉♥格♥集中营
Okay. I’ll send you to a gulag later.
只是，那花了我好一阵时间，才搞清楚为什么那里让人感觉那么不同
No. But it took me a while to figure out why I felt so different.
然后有一天，当我穿过一个犹太墓地的时候
One day, as I was walking through the Jewish cemetery…
我没想通为什么，但是我真的有所改变
…I don’t know why,but it occurred to me there…
我意识到过去的两个星期中，我改掉了以前的大多数习惯
…I realized that I had spent the last two weeks away from most of my habits.
电视里说的是我听不懂的语言
TV was in a language I didn’t understand…
没什么好买♥♥的，也没什么广♥告♥
…there was nothing to buy,no advertisements anywhere…
所以，我能做的只有…
…so all I’d been doing was…
到处逛，思考，然后写下来，我的大脑好像在休息
…walk around, think, and write.My brain felt like it was at rest…
没有了那种强烈的情绪，就好像是自然的高♥潮♥一样
…free from the consuming frenzy.It was almost like a natural high.
我感觉内心格外平和，没有什么奇怪的冲动要去什么地方
I felt so peaceful inside.No strange urge to be somewhere else…
购物什么的
…to shop….
一开始这样可能看起来很无聊
It could have seemed like boredom at first…
但是很快这就让人感到内心非常非常的充实
…but it became very, very soulful.
非常有意思，你知道吗？
It was interesting, you know?
你能相信我们上一次漫步在维也纳是九年前的事吗？
Can you believe it was nine years ago we were walking around Vienna?
– 九年？真难以想象 – 对我来说就好像是两个月之前的事
– Nine years? No, that’s impossible. – No, it was. It feels like two months.
但是那是九四年夏天了
But it was summer ’94.
我看起来有什么不同吗？
Do I look any different?
有？
I do?
我得看你一♥丝♥不♥挂♥的样子才知道
I’d have to see you naked.
– 什么？ – 对不起…
– What? – I know, I’m sorry.
你的发型变了，那时…
Your hair was different back then.It was like…
– 什么，一样的啊… – 把头发放下来，让我看看！
– It’s the same… Oh, down. – Yeah, take it down.
放下来，好吧，放下来了
Down. Okay, it was down. Okay.
好了
Well? Voila.
怎么样？
So?
快点，告诉我
Okay, come on. Tell me.
瘦了，我觉得，苗条了
Skinnier, I think. A little thinner.
你觉得我以前很胖？
Did you think I was fat before?
– 不是 – 你肯定觉得我那时很胖
– No…. – Yeah, you thought I was a fatty.
没错，你觉得我很胖，你的书写的是个法国胖妞！
No, you thought I was a fatty. You wrote a book about a fat French girl.
– 哦，不要！ – 好啦，说真的
– No, listen. – Oh, no.
你看起来漂亮极了！
Seriously, all right? You look beautiful.
那你觉得我有什么变化吗？
Do I look any different?
没有什么…哦，事实上你这多了道皱纹
No. Not at all.Actually, you have this line.
– 我知道 – 看起来好像疤
– I know. – It’s like a scar.
– 疤？看起来像被枪打得吧？ – 没有，没有，我挺喜欢的，对不起啦
– A scar? Like a gunshot wound? – No, no, no. I like it. I’m sorry.
有天我做了个有趣的…呃，不，恐怖的梦
I had this funny… Well, horrible dream the other day.
我做恶梦，梦见我有三十二岁了
I was having this awful nightmare that I was 32.
然后当我醒来的时候，我才只有二十三！我就放心了…
And then I woke up,and I was 23. So relieved.
但是后来我真的从梦里醒来，发现我确实三十二了
And then I woke up for real,and I was 32.
– 好可怕！ – 是会有这种事的
– Shit, man. It happens. – Scary.
时间越走越快，看上去，是因为…
Time goes faster and faster.Apparently, it’s because…
从二十岁以后我们身体里的神经键就不再更新了，于是，从那以后我们就开始走下坡路了
…we don’t renew synapses after our 20s, so it’s downhill from then on.
我喜欢变老，你懂吗，会感觉生活更…
I like getting older, you know?Life feels….
我不知道，好像感觉更直接，好像我能欣赏更多东西了
I don’t know, it feels more immediate. Like I can appreciate things more.
其实我也一样，我很喜欢
No, me too, actually. I really love it.
我曾经是…
I was once…
一个乐队里的鼓手
…a drummer in a band.
– 真的？ – 是啊，我们当时真的很棒
– You were? – Yeah. We were pretty good, actually.
不过那个主唱，他整天就想着让我们能出唱片
But the lead-singer guy, he was just so obsessed with us getting a record deal.
我们整天谈的，想的，就是参加更大的演出
It’s all we talked about, thought about,getting bigger shows.
每时每刻都是为了将来的发展，而现在…
Everything was just focused on the future all the time. And now…
…乐队却已经不存在了
…the band doesn’t even exist anymore.
现在回顾那些我们参加了的表演
And looking back at the shows we did play…
甚至哪怕只是排练，都觉得那么有意思！
…even rehearsing, it was just so much fun.
现在我终于能享受那每一分钟了，我能抽一口吗？
I just… Now I’d enjoy every minute of it.Could I have a drag of that?
你的书出版了，这事不算小了
Well, your book has been published.That’s a pretty big deal.
而且你巡回了整个欧洲来卖♥♥它，你觉得能享受其中的每一分钟吗？
You’ve been all around Europe.Are you enjoying every minute of it?
– 不太行… – 不太行？
– Not really. – Not really?
不行
No.
– 你还有烟吗？ – 当然有
– Do you have another one of those? – Yes, of course.
给你
Here.
在我这行里，我见到很多人…哦，对不起…
In my field, I see these people that… Oh, sorry.
过于理想，好高骛远
Come into it with big,idealist visions…
想要成为新的领袖，来创建更美好的世界
…of becoming the new leader that will create a better world.
他们乐于见到目标被实现，却对过程没兴趣！
They enjoy the goal,but not the process.
– 是 – 但事实上…
– Right. – But the reality of it is…
真正能改善世界的工作，是日复一日的点滴进步
…the true work of improving things is in the little achievements.
– 这才是应该享受的事 – 你具体指什么呢？
– That’s what you need to enjoy. – What do you mean, exactly?
比如，我为一个组织工作，这个组织在墨西哥帮助那里的村民
I was working for this organization that helped villages in Mexico.
他们关心的是怎么把铅笔
And their concerns was how to get the pencils…
送到那些乡村小学的孩子手中
…sent to the kid in those little country schools.
那不是什么重大的革命性的想法，仅仅是铅笔而已！
It was not about big,revolutionary ideas. It was about pencils.
我见到过那些做实事的人，很不幸的是…
I see the people that do the real work,and what’s really sad is that…
…那些最慷慨的，最勤劳的…
…the people that are the most giving, hardworking…
…也是最能让这个世界变得更好的人…
…and capable of making this world better…
…往往没什么野心，不想成为什么领袖
…usually don’t have the ego and ambition to be a leader.
他们对那些形式上的奖励没有兴趣
They don’t see any interest in superficial rewards.
他们也不在乎自己的名字能不能上报纸
They don’t care if their name ever appear in the press.
他们只是享受着帮助人的那种过程
They actually enjoy the process of helping others.
– 他们自得其乐 – 是啊，不过那很难啊！
– They’re in the moment. – Yeah, but that’s so hard…
自得其乐，我是说，我感觉我好像…
…you know, to be in the moment.I mean, I feel like I’m…
是被设计成那种对什么都不很满意的类型…
…designed to be slightly dissatisfied with everything, you know?
你懂吗，我是说，好像永远都在试图改善自己的现状一样
It’s like always trying to better my situation.
我满足了一种欲望，就会刺♥激♥另一种欲望，懂吗？
I satisfy one desire,and it just agitates another.
然后我就想：都去他妈的吧，欲望是生活的动力
And then I think, to hell with it, right?Desire’s the fuel of life.
你认为这是真的吗？
You know? Do you think it’s true…
如果我们没有欲望，我们就会永远快乐？
…that if we never wanted anything,we’d never be unhappy?
我不知道，没有欲望，这难道不是抑郁症的一种表现吗？
I don’t know. Not wanting anything,isn’t that a symptom of depression?
没错，就是的，对吧？我是说，有欲望是种健康的表现，对吧？
Yeah, that is, right?I mean, it’s healthy to desire, right?
是啊，我不知道，不过那些佛教♥徒♥都那么说，对吧？
Yeah. I don’t know. It’s what all those Buddhist guys say, right?
从欲望中解脱出来，你就会发现…
Liberate yourself from desire,and you’ll find…
– 你已经拥有你需要的一切 – 是啊，不过当我想要拥有…
– …you already have everything you need. – But I feel alive…
那些不算基本生存需要的东西的时候，我能感觉到自己是真实存活的
…when I want something more than basic survival needs.
我是说，不管哪种欲望，比如想和谁亲热
Wanting, whether it’s intimacy with another person…
或是想要双新鞋，都很美…
…or a pair of shoes, is beautiful.
我喜欢我们拥有无止境的欲望
I like that we have those ever-renewing desires, you know?
也许那是一种有权享用的感觉
Maybe it’s this sense of entitlement.
你懂吗，好像什么时候你觉得你配穿双新鞋
You know, like whenever you feel like you deserve that new pair of shoes?
欲望本身不是坏事，只要你不要太在意得失就好
It’s okay to want things, as long as you aren’t pissed off if you don’t get them.
生活很辛苦，这也是顺理成章的事
Life’s hard. It’s supposed to be.
吃一堑，长一智，对吗？
If we didn’t suffer, we wouldn’t learn a thing, you know?
那，你是佛教♥徒♥吗？
So, what, are you Buddhist,or something?
– 不是 – 不是？为什么不是？
– No. – No? Why not?
我不知道，出于同一原因，我不会让自己完全相信任何信仰
I don’t know. The same reason I don’t really consider myself anything, really.
很久前我就决定，我可以接受任何信念…
I decided a long time ago that I was gonna be open to everything…
但是不会执迷于一种信仰
…but not buy into any one and only belief system.
数年前，我曾经去过一所苦修派修道院
I went to this Trappist monastery a couple years ago.
– 苦修派？ – 是的，天主教西多教派的