怒呛人生（2023）第一季 第五集

这个厨房♥永不过时
This is a timeless kitchen, man.
谢谢 赞恩
Ah. Thanks, Zane.
我认识你
I know you.
宝贝 不能这样 好吗？ 不能这样欢迎新客人
Sweetie, we don’t do that. Okay? That’s not how we greet new guests.
等一下 我给她点糖果
One sec, let me get her some candy.
嘿 我有彩虹糖 -是吗？在你兜里？
Oh, hey, I have some Skittles. – Oh, you do? In your pocket?
我爱吃甜食
Got a sweet tooth.
请给我一些 好吗？
Can I have some, please?
如果赞恩给你 你可以别再说“我认知你”了吗？
If Zane gives you some, are you gonna stop saying “I know you”?
我卡车里总是带着一包
I always keep a bag in my truck,
你随时都可以向我要 好吧？ -好的
so any time, just ask. Okay? – Okay.
能用下你家卫生间吗？ -可以 直走到头左手边
Can I use your bathroom? – Yeah. Straight down to the left.
谢谢
Thanks.
别错怪好人
Uh, don’t shoot the messenger,
但我觉得你家管子漏了
but I think there’s a leak in your plumbing.
我听到瓷砖后面有滴答声
I heard some trickling behind the tiles.
见了个软糖圣代的鬼啊
Fudge sundae.
真的吗？ -是的 我觉得是
Really? – Yeah, I think so.
可恶
Shoot.
我得给艾米打电♥话♥
Well, I gotta call Amy.
她处理所有的家务事 -伙计 我们就能处理
She handles all the house stuff. – Dude, we can handle this.
这样吧 我们查一下
You know what? Let’s do some research.
我现在就查一下 -不用 太麻烦了
I’ll do the research. – No, it’s too much trouble.
一点也不麻烦 我已经在查了
Not a problem at all. I’m on it.
真的？ -是啊 我这就在找管道工
Really? – Yeah. Looking up plumbers right now.
谢谢 伙计 你最强了
Thanks, man. You’re the best.
强者惺惺相惜嘛
Yo, best recognize best.
(兰博建筑材料店)
真棒 丹尼刚刚发来短♥信♥ 列了一堆要买♥♥的东西
Nice. Danny just texted a list of shit to buy.
这才像话 终于有个计划了
This is what I’m talking about, man. Finally, a fucking plan.
嘿 -怎么了？
Yo. – Yo?
背带裤 应该买♥♥这个
Overalls. That’s the move.
不了 老兄 农民才穿背带裤呢
No, bro. Farmers wear overalls, dude.
管道工也穿 -他们不♥穿♥ 这又不是在电子游戏里
So do plumbers. – No, they don’t. This ain’t a video game.
你在哪里见过农民穿这个？ -几周前我去摘苹果的时候
Where you see a farmer at? – I went apple picking a couple weeks ago.
赶紧买♥♥东西吧
Let’s buy this shit.
好的
All right.
这就是我工作的地方
This is where it all goes down.
很棒
Very cool.
那些是什么？
What are those?
那些是我过世父亲的作品
Those are my late father’s pieces.
好的 我记得你说起过他
Right. I remember you mentioning him.
是的 -这个刚从画廊还回来
Right. – This just returned from the gallery.
月亮椅 珍品中的珍品
Tamago, the Holy Grail. – Wow.
我并不想冒犯你♥爸♥
No offense to your dad,
但我觉得这些作品 和你这些天马行空
but, I don’t know, these pieces kind of feel like a little out of a place,
充满创意的作品相比 感觉有点突兀
compared to all the crazy, creative stuff you got going on everywhere else.
真的？
Really?
是啊 我觉得这才是我听到艺术时 头脑中会想到的东西
Yeah, I mean, like, this is what I imagine when I hear about fine art, you know?
让我感觉到…
Makes me feel like…
我不知道该怎么形容 我不擅长艺术评论
I don’t know how to describe it. I’m not good at this shit.
艺术可以用任何方式解读
There’s no bad way of interpreting art.
想到什么就说什么
Say whatever comes to mind.
我想说 我不知道感觉得对不对…
I mean, you know, I don’t know if it’s right, but…
我不确定 它让我
I don’t know, it kind of makes me…
感到悲伤
feel sad.
让我心里有一种
Gives me like a…
黏糊糊的感觉
a sticky feeling inside,
我也说不清楚 就好像在我的胸口 我的双腿之间
I don’t know, like in my chest, in my legs.
我不知道 我脑子里出现了这些感受
I don’t know, I’m just, like, going off the top of my head.
你还好吗？我说得不对吗？我就是…
You okay? Did I do that wrong? That was–
不 你说得很棒
No, no. You did great. Um…
我说不好
I don’t know,
有时候我觉得自己是个骗子 你懂吗？
sometimes I just feel like a fraud, you know?
我爸爸去世的时候
When my dad passed away,
我第一个想法是 “也不知道他是不是怀着失望走的”
my first thought was, “I wonder if he died disappointed.”
没有人说过不是 所以…
No one ever told me otherwise, so, um…
你说得很好 谢谢 谢谢你
That was really nice. Thank you, thank you.
不用客气 你有天赋
Yeah, no problem, man. I mean, you got the gift.
我真的太高兴能认识你了
I’m so glad I met you, man.
最近我感觉有些孤独
I’ve been kind of lonely lately.
我妻子一直忙于做出那些 重大的人生决定 我都说不上话
My wife’s been so busy making all these big life decisions without me.
我知道我们才刚认识
I know we just met,
但我感觉你真的很有心
but I feel like you actually care.
你是一个好人
You’re a good person.
我对这些事感觉很准的
I have a good sense about these things.
谢谢了
Thanks, man.
我得赶紧去打个电♥话♥ 没关系吧？
I gotta make a quick call, if that’s cool?
好的 请便 好 -我马上回来
Yeah. Yes, please. Yeah. – I’ll be right back.
嗨 丹尼 怎么了？ -迈克尔
Yo, Danny. What’s up? – Michael.
嘿 伙计 计划取消了 好吧？ 我没时间解释
Hey, dude, plan’s off. Okay? I don’t have time to explain.
什么？你把漏水修好了吗？
What? Did you do the leak?
是的 但是这里没什么值得偷的
Yeah, but there’s nothing worth stealing here.
他们至少有电视 是吧？ -是的 他们有电视
They got a TV, though, don’t they? – Yeah, they have a TV.
但就算了吧 好不好？ -我们东西都买♥♥好了
But just forget it, okay? – We already got all the stuff, man.
你什么意思？放回去就行 -都在购物车里了
What do you mean? Just put it back. – It’s in the cart.
不能放回去 这样不好 -没什么不好的
You can’t put it back. It’s rude. – It’s not rude.
伙计 如果你不想做 那我们去做 把她地址发过来
Dude, if you won’t do it, then we will. Send me her address.
不行 我不会给你 -别逼我们自己查 我们会查到的
No, I am not giving you their address. – Don’t make us look it up. We’ll find it.
我们不能偷这家
We’re not robbing this house.
拜托！ -就这样
Come on. Dude! – End of story.
计划取消了
Plan’s off.
周家这俩人 见鬼了 -是啊
Fucking Chos, man. – Yeah.
现在怎么办？
So, what now?
听听滴水声
Listen for trickling water.
嗨 有什么事吗？
Hi. Can I help you?
嘿 -嘿
Hey. – Hey.
我们刚好开车路过这里
We were just driving by in the neighborhood,
我们发现…我们是管道工 -我们是管道工
and we noticed– We’re plumbers. – We’re plumbers.
我们发现你家可能漏水了
We noticed that you might have a little water leak.
你们挺厉害 怎么发现的？ 可能是有针孔漏点
You guys are good. How’d you know? – You could have a pinhole leak.
水质硬就会这样 -是的
It’s caused by heavy minerals. – Yup.
作为专业人士 我必须告诉你 这样不安全
And I gotta tell you, as professionals, it’s not safe.
现在那里可能已经长了危险的霉菌
There could be dangerous mold growing in there right now.
我们建议你立刻搬出来 如果你愿意的话 我们可以处理好
We recommend you get out immediately, so we can take care of it, if you’d like.
感谢你们这么说 但我需要听听别人的意见
You know, I appreciate all the info, but I’m gonna get a second opinion.
我们是两个人 所以…
There’s two of us, so…
我有一个意见 他有一个 这就是两个意见了
I have an opinion, he’s got one. There’s two of them there.
没错 谢谢你们 保重 -越是拖着
I’m sure. Thank you, guys. Take care. – The longer you wait,
情况就越糟糕 -糟糕得多
the worse it’s gonna get. – Way worse.
我完全可以看出他们在骗我
I could totally tell they were scamming me.
于是我看了几个视频 买♥♥了几个风扇
So I watched a few videos, I bought a few fans,
然后我关了水管阀门
and then I turned off the water valve.
都是我自己干的
All by myself.
不过可能是有一些霉菌
There might be some mold, though,
所以我们在外面住的时候 得找人来检测一下
so we’ll have to call some people in to come test it while we’re away.
什么？
What?
我在奥哈伊找到了一家爱彼迎
I found us an Airbnb in Ojai.
奥哈伊！
Ojai!
艾米下班后会来找我们
Amy’s gonna meet us after work.
我知道
I know.
我也希望一起去的是我们俩
I wish it could be us going instead.
别这样
Stop it.
我也想你了
I miss you too.
好的 我得挂了 我还要收拾
Okay, okay. Well, I gotta go. I gotta clean up.
我回来了就打给你 好吧？
I’ll call you when I come back, okay?
我也爱你
I love you too.
再见 米娅
Bye, Mia.
要想着我 我等不及你回来了 再见
Well, think about me. I can’t wait until you get back. Bye.
打扰一下？
Uh, excuse me?
我的天 中井夫人