怒呛人生（2023）第一季 第一集

To change that.
瞧见没？我喜欢你
See? I like you.
你有一种沉静的、类似禅宗的气质
You have this serene Zen Buddhist thing going on.
我只是做自己
Well, you know, just doing me.
请慢用
Here you are.
非常感谢 谢谢 -谢谢
Thanks very much. Thanks. – Thank you.
听好 我邀请你过来 显然不只是为了吃这种奇怪的东西
Listen, obviously I didn’t invite you here just to eat weird shit.
我根本就不喜欢蘑菇
I don’t even like mushrooms.
除了那种有致幻效果的
Except for the magic kind. – Mm-hm.
我们正在拟定一份报价
There’s an offer being drawn up.
明天投资条件书就会发给你
Expect a term sheet tomorrow.
老天啊
Oh, my God.
乔丹娜 太谢谢你了
Thank you so much, Jordan.
我等不及看到你对克友绿植的改造了
I can’t wait to see what you do with Kōyōhaus.
好吧 肯定要先花几周时间摸清情况
Okay, there’ll be a few weeks of due diligence.
最多几个月
A couple of months, max.
好的 当然 我们绝对没有黑幕
Yeah, of course. No skeletons here.
很好
Good.
别搞砸了
Don’t fuck this up.
因为你我都明白 我可以直接去中国
‘Cause you and I both know I could just go to China
花更少的钱仿制
and copy your shit for less.
是的 还是把工作留在美国 对不对？
Yeah. I mean, let’s keep the jobs in America, right?
完全没错
Totally.
干杯
Cheers.
(路怒!求助! 我的监控就拍到这些 请帮帮我!)
(-两个司机谁都没看到? -是的!)
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
(错误)
搞什么？
What the fuck?
妈妈！
Mommy!
嘿
Hey.
嘿 这只是个噩梦 甜心 好吗？
Hey, hey. Hey, it was just a bad dream, sweetie, okay?
你可以继续睡 妈妈在这里
You can go back to sleep. Mama’s here.
如果还做噩梦怎么办？
What if the nightmare comes back?
那么…
Well, um…
我每次做噩梦 就会想想快乐的时刻
you know, whenever I have a bad dream, I just think of a happy time.
是吗？
You do?
是啊
Yeah.
小琼 其实我想的 就是和你在一起的快乐时刻
In fact, I think of a happy time with you, Junie.
我会回忆你出生的那天
I think about the day you were born.
很长一段时间里 你都在妈妈的肚子里慢慢长大
You know, for the longest time you were growing inside of Mama’s belly.
然后突然间 啪叽一下
And then all of a sudden, poof.
你就出来了 和我对视
You were right there, looking back at me.
然后最不敢让人相信的是
And then the crazy part was…
你当时和现在一样
you were already you.
我记得医院的床
I remember the hospital bed.
我记得…
I remember the…
你小脸上裹着的毯子
the blanket around your little face.
当时是凌晨四点 整个城市万籁俱寂
It was 4:00 a.m. and the whole city was silent.
没有会议
No meetings.
没有电子邮件
No e-mails.
不用戴着面具
No pretending.
仅仅是你和我
It was just you and me.
天地万物一片祥和
And there was nothing wrong anywhere in the entire universe.
真希望我们可以永远待在那个瞬间
I wish we could’ve stayed there.
没人理解我
Nobody understands.
去你的
Fuck you.
你根本不知道
You don’t even know.
我死之后 你就明白了
And when I’m dead, you will see.
你就他妈的明白了
You will fucking see.
“确保高浓度的一氧化碳…
“To ensure high CO levels,
(最不痛苦的自杀方式)
等待木炭火盆触发烟雾报♥警♥器” 我就是这么做的
wait for hibachis to set off the detector.” I did that.
不 还不是时候
No, this is not it.
见鬼
Fuck.
老天 原来收据一直在这里
Jesus, it’s been there the whole time.
(福斯特)
(加州车牌查找)
(注册人 支付79美元99美分)
该死的家伙
This fucking guy.
(查看完整报告)
你得来抓我！
You gotta catch me!
嗨 亲爱的 我们还有9伏的电池吗？
Hey, sweetheart, do we have any nine-volt batteries?
我觉得没有了 怎么了？
Uh, I don’t think so. Why?
我就是觉得有些电池该换了
Uh, I just think we need to replace some.
哪里的？
Uh, in what?
我过会儿看看
I’ll take a look later.
保险柜的？
I think in the safe?
你为什么要打开保险柜？
Why were you opening the safe?
我一直在看友邻软件里的帖子
Uh, well, you know, I’ve been seeing all these Nextdoor posts
外面有不少疯子
and people are fricking crazy out there.
我把密♥码♥改了
Well, I changed the combo.
或许…
Oh. Well, maybe–
你不觉得我也应该知道新密♥码♥吗？
You don’t think, like, I should have the new combo?
如果有什么坏事发生 比如有人尾随我回家？
What if something bad happens, like someone follows me home or something?
艾米
Amy.
你知道我为什么不告诉你
You know why I didn’t tell you.
爸爸？
Dad?
等等 甜心
Wait, sweetie.
嘿 站住 亲爱的
Hey, stop, honey.
祝你拥有完美的一天 好不好？
Okay, you have a wonderful day. Okay?
等你回来告诉妈妈都干什么了 好吧？
And you tell Mommy all about it later, all right?
妈妈
Mom.
别这样
Stop.
走了 爸爸 我们走
Come on, Dad, let’s go.
善人路377号♥
377 Bon Homme Road.
“善人路377号♥
“377 Bon Homme.
我住在善人路377号♥”
I live at 377 Bon Homme.”
该死的混♥蛋♥
Fucking dick-ass.
(11月11日 妈妈的生日)
One-one-one-four.
One-one-one-four.
320、3…
320, 3…
323.
377他妈的哪里去了？搞什么？
Where the fuck is 377? What the fuck?
(开启)
你觉得我找不到你吗？
You didn’t think I would find you?
我会找到你 王八蛋
I’m gonna find you, motherfucker.
我要暴打你这个该死的…
Oh, I’m gonna whoop your fucking–
怎么了？
What?
想打架吗？那就来吧
You wanna go? Let’s go.
我们现在就打一架
Let’s fucking go right now.
你♥他♥妈♥的想打架？
You wanna fucking go?
那我们就开干吧 王八蛋！
Let’s fucking go, motherfucker!
善人路
Bon Homme. Bon Homme. Bon Homme.
“住在善人路的外星人”
“E.T. Bon Homme.”
你♥他♥妈♥的住在哪里？
Where the fuck do you live?
你好
Hi.
有事吗？
Can I help you?
不好意思 打扰了
Sorry to bother you.
我是在这条路上工作的一个承包商
I’m a contractor working down the street.
你最近改造过房♥子吗？
Did you remodel recently?
是的 怎么了？
Uh, yeah. Why?
我无意间注意到
Well, I couldn’t help but notice
你家的屋顶排水管没有支架
that your rooftop conduits don’t have supports.
这会造成用电危险
It’s an electrical hazard.
什么？
What?
我不是想赚你的钱
I’m not trying to make any money off of you.
我就是想过来告诉你 这样你可以自己找人处理一下
I just thought I’d come and let you know so you can get your guy to fix it.
嗨 你不是那种怪人吧？
Hey, you’re not some kind of weirdo, right?
因为如果你是的话 我可是有枪
‘Cause if you are, you should know that I own a gun.
小姐 就像我说的 我只是助人为乐而已
Like I said, miss, I’m just trying to be helpful.
我并不想让你觉得不安 我这就走了
Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’ll be on my way.
嘿 别走 稍等一下
Hey, no, just wait a second.
好吗 我马上来 就…
Okay? I’ll be right there, just–
你好
Hi.
你好
Hi.