巴尼的人生（2010）

I’m going to freshen up a bit.
我要去下洗手间
Would you mind ordering me another? Of course.
你能帮我再点一杯吗 当然
I need a test now. Test for what?
我要做个检查 查什么
VD, syphilis, gonorrhea, AIDS, the whole thing.
性病 梅毒 淋病 艾滋 都查
Slow down. What the hell happened?
说慢点 到底怎么啦
Just give me the test, Morty.
你只管给我做检查就好了 莫蒂
And I need the results as soon as possible.
而且我要尽快知道结果
There we go.
到家了
Oh, it’s good to be home. Yeah.
回家真好啊 是啊
I’ll put these in water and
我把这些花放水里
then I’ll unpack your bags, so you go relax, okay?
然后给你拆行李 你去休息一下 好吗
I have a better idea.
我有个更好的主意
I missed you. I missed you, too.
我好想你 我也很想你
You must be exhausted, though, right?
但你一定累坏了 是吗
I’m going to make you some tea and I’m going to run you a bath.
我去给你泡杯茶 放洗澡水
How’s that sound?
你觉得怎么样
Barney? Yeah?
巴尼 怎么了
What’s wrong?
出什么事了
Nothing. Why?
没事 怎么了
Barney.
巴尼
What?
干什么
Oh! I got it. I got it. I got it.
我来接 我来接 我来接
Hello? Oh, yeah, hold on. Just a second.
喂 是的 等一下 一会儿
It’s work. There’s crazy problems on the set and it’s…
工作上的 片场里出问题了
Well, whenever you’re done hiding,
好吧 你什么时候打算对我坦白
whatever it is you screwed up while I was gone,
不管你在我离开期间搞砸了什么事
I’ll be in the bedroom naked.
我就在卧室里光溜溜的等着你
Morty, so?
莫蒂 结果怎么样
Oh, thank God.
谢天谢地
Oh, my God, thank God.
老天 谢天谢地
Yeah. Yeah, that’s great.
是啊是啊 太棒了
I don’t know why, but I…
不知怎么 我…
I checked the caller ID, ’cause you were acting so strange and…
我查了来电显示 因为你表现太奇怪了
Why did you lie to me about it being Morty?
你为什么撒谎不告诉我是莫蒂
Tell me the truth.
把真♥相♥告诉我
Oh, God.
天啊
Are you sick?
你生病了吗
Tell me. No, I’m not sick. No.
告诉我 不 我没病 没有
The way you cough. No.
你咳嗽的那么厉害 没有
All those cigars? Miriam. No.
还抽那么多烟 米里亚姆 不是的
I am not sick.
我没生病
Okay.
那好
So what is it?
那到底怎么了
What are you hiding from me?
你在对我隐瞒什么
Tell me.
告诉我
Tell me.
告诉我
It meant nothing to me.
那对我来说毫无意义
Oh, God.
老天
Oh, God.
老天
Please, Miriam, please.
求你了 米里亚姆 原谅我
Please, please,
求你了 求你了
Miriam, please, please…
米里亚姆 求你了 求你了
How could you? How could you?
你怎么能这样 怎么能
Please. Please. Please.
求你了 原谅我 求你了
We have a life.
我们还有个家
We have a life.
我们还有个家
We had a life.
我们有过一个家
Hey, wait a minute, Michael.
等一下 迈克尔
I know how difficult this is for both of you,
我知道这对你们来说很难接受
but your mother and I are going to work through this, okay?
但你们的妈妈和我会解决一切的 好吗
How could you have fucked this up?
你怎么能把事情搞砸
She deserved so much better than you
你根本就配不上她
and she still loved you.
但她还是爱着你
You’re a miserable, ungrateful prick, is what you are.
你就是个可悲而忘恩负义的蠢货
Watch your mouth. I am still your father.
嘴巴干净点 我还是你♥爸♥爸
Yeah, I know. There’s nothing I can do about that.
是啊 我知道 这一点我无能为力
Totally unnecessary productions. One second.
无用处 请稍等
Good morning, Barney. My car was stolen.
早上好 巴尼 我的车被偷了
Find out what I do to report it, please.
查查报♥警♥要准备什么东西
It’s parked in the lot. I have the keys right here.
它停在停车场里 钥匙在我这儿
It’s okay. I know.
没关系 我知道
Why did you leave the set?
你刚怎么离开片场了
I thought you might want to give a speech.
我还以为你想做个演讲
No.
不
I’m not interested.
我没兴趣
You don’t even know what I’m going to say.
你都不知道我要说什么
I am not interested in what you’re going to say, that is the point.
我对你要说的不感兴趣 就这样
What if it’s something really interesting?
如果是非常有趣的事呢
Right now, I’m in a state of complete disinterest to all things.
现在我对任何事情都不感兴趣
Is that clear or should I get someone to translate?
你听清楚了吗 还是要我找人翻译给你听
I’m going to Bulgaria, first class.
我要去保加利亚了 头等舱
You haven’t flown in 30 years, Solange.
你都三十年没坐飞机了 索兰吉
I’ve been in systematic desensitisation therapy to get over my fear of flying.
我接受了系統退敏疗法来克服飞行恐惧症
Are you out of your mind? What?
你疯了吗 怎么了
Some idiots keep printing 30-year-old pictures of you in bikinis,
有白♥痴♥一直印刷你三十岁时的比基尼照
so old Bolsheviks
这样那些布尔什维克老头
can have something to jerk off to,
就可以对着你打飞机了
and you’re going to travel a halfway around the world because of that?
你为这个要跑大半个世界去吗
What the hell do you imagine is going to happen, Solange?
你♥他♥妈♥知道会发生什么吗 索兰吉
What are you…
你要怎么做
you’re going to step right off the plane onto the tarmac
你要戴着香奈儿墨镜裹着爱马仕披风
with the Chanel glasses and the Hermes scarf wrapped around your new do?
从飞机下到停机坪吗
A gaggle of paparazzi awaiting your arrival?
要一群狗仔静候您的大驾吗
You are 180 years old!
你都一把年纪了
Solange, get the fuck over it!
索兰吉 你♥他♥妈♥认命吧
What the hell is wrong with you?
你♥他♥妈♥出什么事了
What the hell is wrong with me?
我他妈怎么了吗
My friend Leo just died!
我朋友利奥刚去世了
You hear me?
你听到我说的了吗
Leo died a year ago.
利奥一年前就去世了
What?
什么
You were a pallbearer at his funeral, Barney.
你作为护柩人出席了他的葬礼 巴尼
I’m going to start by asking you a series of questions.
我要先问你几个问题
Just answer them. There’s no right or wrong.
只要回答就好 没有对错
What month is it?
现在是几月
You’re joking.
你开玩笑吧
There’s a point to all this.
我这样做是有道理的
April.
四月
What season is it? Summer.
现在是什么季节 夏季
What kind of car do you drive?
你开什么牌子的车
Morty, this is fucking embarrassing. What the hell!
莫蒂 这他妈太羞辱人了 搞什么
Just answer it.
回答我就好
It’s…
是…
You know… it’s… it’s…
是…是…
Oh, God damn it.
该死的
This is crazy. This is crazy.
这不可能 太疯了
It’s German.
它是德国产的
You know, I can’t even find the fucking thing.
我他妈的都找不到它
Why the hell should I care what it is called?
还要关心他妈牌子做什么
I’m your man, if you wonna know.
我是你男人 如果你想知道的话
I will do anything that you ask me to do.
你叫我做任何事我都愿意
That was Leonard Cohen’s I’m Your Man,
刚才是莱昂纳德·科恩的《我是你男人》
a request from our ever-faithful listener.
是我们一位忠实听众点播的
Alphonse, all the way from Montreal.
来自蒙特利尔的阿尔方斯
And here’s one for you, Alphonse.
这首歌♥送给你 阿尔方斯
I Don’t Want to Hear it Anymore by Dusty Springfield.
达斯汀·斯皮尔菲尔德的《我再也不想听了》
Here you go, Alphonse.
喝一杯吧 阿尔方斯
Fuck! Fuck!
妈的 妈的
Daddy!
爸爸
Daddy! Daddy, stop. Stop. Please stop.
爸 爸 住手 住手 快住手