王牌大贱谍（1997）

Upon detonation, every volcano on earth will erupt.
除了付赎金似乎别无选择
It seems we have no choice but to pay your ransom.
你们收到指示了，再见
You have my instructions. Bye-bye.
你看，她有三颗奶
Check it out, butt-head. This chick has three boobs.
有几个屁♥股♥？
How many butts does she have?
喜欢你的准未来服装吗？
Do you like your quasi-futuristic clothes?
我亲自设计的
I designed them myself.
史考特，儿子，你好吗？
Scott, my boy, how are you?
今天怎么样？
How was your day?
我朋友小杰带我到商场去
My friend Sweet Jay took me to that video arcade in town.
他们不说英文，小杰就动手
They don’t speak English, so Jay got into a fight…
他说别烦我，我不会说法文
and he’s all, Quit hassling me ’cause I don’t speak French.”
那个人说法文，我说让开
And then the guy says something in Paris talk and I’m like, Just back off.”
他们说滚，我们说来赶啊
And they’re all, Get out.” And we’re like, Make me.”
好酷
It was cool.
有意思，今晚打算做什么？
Fascinating.What are your plans for this evening?
待家里，电视上要演三♥级♥片♥
I thought I’d stay in.There’s a good titty movie on Skinimax.
你打算那么过日子？
And that’s how you’d like to live your life?
对啊
Yeah
很可能
Pretty much. What?
我给你介绍爸的死对头
Scott, I want you to meet Daddy’s nemesis Austin Powers.
奥斯汀保威
Austin Powers
你请他吃饭？杀了他算了
Are you feeding him? Why don’t you just kill him?
不，我有更好的计划
I have an even better idea.
我故意让他容易脱逃
I’m going to place him in an easily escapable situation…
最后却死得很惨
involving an overly elaborate and exotic death.
现在就杀了他嘛
Why don’t you just shoot him now?
我有枪，一起动手，会很好玩
I’ll go get a gun. We’ll shoot him together.
砰，挂了
It’ll be fun. Bang! Dead. Done.
再偷看就要被禁足，我说真的
One more peep out of you and you are grounded, mister and I am not joking.
好，开始吧
All right. Let’s begin.
你真的希望他们付钱？
You really expect them to pay?
我希望他们死
I expect them to die.
付钱后我会拿热岩浆
Even after they pay me the money…
融掉地球上每座城市
I’m still going to melt every city on the planet with liquid hot magma.
放出鲨鱼
Release the sharks!
注意鲨鱼头上有雷射光束
You’ll notice that all the sharks have laser beams attached to their heads.
每个人都应该吃熟食
I figure every creature deserves a warm meal.
关于鲨鱼
Dr. Evil, it’s about the sharks.
你冷冻时它们变成绝种动物
When you were frozenthey were put on the endangered species list.
我们试着弄到，但要几个月
We tried to get some… but it would’ve taken months to clear up the red tape.
我有个简单的要求
I have one simple request…
头上装雷射光束的鲨鱼
and that is to have sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads!
我的独眼同仁通知我办不到
Evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can’t be done.
我到底雇用你们来做什么？
Can you remind me what I pay you people for?
真的，告诉我
Honestly, throw me a bone here.
我们到底还有什么？
What do we have?
鲈鱼
Sea bass.
好的
Right
变种鲈鱼
They are mutated sea bass.
真的？脾气坏吗？
Really? Are they ill-tempered?
坏得很
Absolutely.
对他们可是个好的开始
That’s a start.
警卫，启动缓慢的滴水装置
All right, guard begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism.
关上水槽
Close the tank!
你不看？他们可能逃走
Aren’t you even going to watch them?They could get away.
别理他们，没必要看他们死亡
I’m going to leave them alone…
我假设会照计划进行
and not actually witness them dying. I’m just going to assume it all went to plan.
我房♥里有枪，给我五秒钟去拿
I have a gun in my room. You give me five seconds, I’ll get it.
我会回来让他们脑袋开花
I’ll come back, boom! I’ll blow their brains out.
史考特，你不懂，是不是？
You just don’t get it, do you?
你不懂
You don’t.
这一点也不麻烦
It’s no hassle.
敲敲门
Knock knock.
是谁？
Who’s there?
我告诉你有个人叫做”嘘”
Let me tell you a little story about a man named shh!”
在你开始之前就嘘了
Even before you start, that was a preemptive shh!”
我有一整袋嘘声等着给你
Just know I have a whole bag of shh” with your name on it.
你有什么打算？
What’s your plan?
首先我打算大便在裤子里
First, I plan to soil myself…
然后锁定下来想新计划
then I’m going to regroup and come up with a new plan.
有否其它想法?
Any thoughts?
等一下
Wait a minute.
我带着这个以防万一
I always have this with me, just in case.
好，我懂了，我牙不好
I get it. I have bad teeth.
不，牙线可让我们荡到边缘
No, Austin. The floss is to swing ourselves onto the ledge.
好，抓紧
All right. Hold on.
好了，牙膏，哈啰
Got it. OK. Toothpaste.
柔道劈功
Judo chop!
抓紧
Hang on!
柔道绊倒
Judo trip.
不是”昏了头”的好时机
Not a good time to lose one’s head.
的确
Indeed.
那不是”出头”的方式
That’s not the way to get ahead in life.
不是
No
可惜他不够死脑筋
It’s a shame he wasn’t more headstrong.
他永远无法领导大企业
He’ll never be the head of a major corporation.
好，够了
That’ll do.
我们怎么办？
What are we going to do?
那边是紧急出口，去求救
There’s an emergency exit. Go get help.
我留下来盯着邪恶博士
I’m going to stay here and keep an eye on Dr. Evil.
好，我尽快回来
I’ll hurry back.
听着，凡妮莎
Listen Vanessa,
不论发生什么事
Whatever happens, I want you to know…
关于意大利妞的事我很抱歉
that I feel really bad about that ltalian bird.
我要说的是
What I’m trying to say is…
如果你要我只爱一个女人
that if you want me to be a one-woman man…
那就太妙了，宝贝
that’s just groovy, baby.
乖一点
Behave.
来，大家撤回主室
Come, everyone.Let us repair to the main chamber.
火神计划即将展开
Project Vulcan is about to begin.
史考特，想看爸靠什么维生吗？
Scott, don’t you want to see what Daddy does for a living?
谁要看
Blow me.
你说什么？
Excuse me?
让我看
Show me.
好
OK
将火神定位
Position the Vulcan.
弹头带进来
Bring in the warhead.
哈啰，哈啰
Hello Hello
你好，鲍尔先生
Hello Mr.Powers
想爽一下吗？
Care to have a little fun?
不，我得拯救世界
No, actually… I have to save the world.
这里面很冷吗？
Is it cold in here?
组装探测器
Arm the probe.
不，我得去找邪恶博士
I’ve got to get Dr. Evil.
不，不，冲冷水澡，棒球
Baseball, cold showers.
放弃吧，鲍尔先生
Give it up, Mr. Powers.
柴契尔在冬天裸体
Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day.
柴契尔在冬天裸体
Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day.
各位
Gentlemen.
备枪发射吧
Let’s lock and load.
好，弟兄们
Right, lads.
不要走 留下来
Don’t go. -Stay with us.
请不要走
Please don’t go.
你抗拒不了我们，鲍尔先生
You can’t resist us.
正好相反，宝贝
Au contraire, baby.
你们抗拒不了我
I think you can’t resist me.
奥斯汀
Austin
凡妮莎
Vanessa
事情不是你看到的样子
It’s not what it seems.
稍息