八月：奥色治郡

I didn’t have reason then.
那你现在有正当理由嗑药了
So, it’s okay to get hooked now because you got a reason.
我不是嗑药
I’m not hooked on anything.
我不想知道你是不是在嗑药
I don’t want to know whether you are or not,
我只是说我不要再看你戒一次毒了
I’m just saying… I’m not gonna go through it again.
我没嗑药 我只是很痛苦
I’m not. I’m in pain!
因为你的嘴吗
Because of your mouth?
是的 因为我的嘴火烧一样的疼
Yes, because my mouth burns.
我得了口腔癌
I have got cancer in my mouth.
疼得要命 你看
And it burns, look.
看啊
Look.
疼得要死
And it burns like a… bullshit.
贝弗利失踪了 你还对我大呼小叫
And Beverly’s disappeared and you’re yelling at me.
我不是…
I’m not..
我得癌症的时候你都没回来
You know, you couldn’t come home when I got cancer.
贝弗利一失踪
Beverlys disappeared…
你马上就回来了
you rushed right back.
对不起
I’m sorry.
对不起
I’m sorry…
要我说啊
You know where I think he is?
他现在
I think he…
肯定是带着威士忌带着香烟
I think he got some whiskey, a carton of cigarettes,
还有一堆间谍小说
and a couple of good spy novels and…
找了条小船
I think he got out on the boat,
去了一个他喜欢的海滨旁的好地方
and steered it to a nice spot, close to shore like he likes them.
钓鱼 看书 喝着小酒
and he’s fishing, and reading and drinking,
也许还会写点东西
maybe even writing a little.
我想
And, I think..
说不定什么时候他就会从那扇门走进来
he’s gonna walk through that door any time.
妈妈
Mom?
妈妈 警长来了
Mom, the sheriff’s here.
什么
What? Wha…
宝贝儿 快回床上去
Hey, sweetheart. Go back to bed.
艾薇姨妈怎么办
What about aunt Ivy?
去的路上再接她吧
I guess we’ll stop on the way.
天哪 还得打电♥话♥给凯伦
Christ, I have to call Karen too.
我他妈为什么一直梳头
Why the fuck am I brushing my hair?
莉莎的歌♥
Lzza story.
贝弗利回来了
Beverly’s back.
烟…
Gizza cig…
-火 烟 烟 -夫人
– cigezze? Cig-zezz, cig-zizz… – Ma’am?
火 烟
Gizza cig…
烟 烟 有烟吗
Cig-zezz, cig-zizz… some cigezze?
烟 烟
Cigz, cig-aa..
我已经完了
I’m in the bottom of them.
很好听 不是吗
It’s good beat, right?
芭芭
Barb!
从那天起
From the day I..
那天
the day..
贝弗利
Beverly..
然后…
and then..
然后你们回来了…
and then you’re here..
芭芭拉回来了
And Barbara, you’re here,
贝弗利 你们都回来了 然后…
and Beverly, and then you’re here, and then..
你们回来了
you’re here..
我曾经跟那个男孩约会
I used to go out with that boy.
-那个男人 -哪个男人 警长
– That man. – What man? The Sheriff?
高中时他是我毕业舞会的舞伴
In high school. He was my prom date.
开玩笑吧
You’re kidding.
毕业舞会那天
Day of the prom,
他爸爸喝醉酒偷了他的车
his father got drunk and stole his car,
偷了他亲生儿子的车
stole his own son’s car,
去了别的地方 墨西哥
went somewhere, Mexico.
迪恩来了我家 他一直哭
Deon showed up at the house. He’d been crying.
他说他没办法带我去舞会了
Confessed he didn’t have a way to take me to the prom.
我们买♥♥了六听装的啤酒
So, we got a six-pack…
偷跑进小教堂
and broke into the chapel,
在那里说话接吻一直待到天亮
stayed up all night talking and kissing.
现在 他又以这样的身份
And, now here he is,
出现在我面前
showing me.
好不真实
It’s so surreal.
感谢上帝我们无法预见未来
Thank god we can’t tell the future,
否则连起床的勇气都会消失
we’d never get out of bed.
听我说
Listen to me.
不要死在我前面 好吗
Die after me, all right?
我不介意你做什么
I don’t care what else you do,
去哪里 怎么糟践自己 但是
where you go, how you screw up your life, just…
要活下去
survive.
求你
Please.
天哪 是凯伦
Holy shit, that’s Karen.
-你还记得凯伦姨妈吗 -记得一点
– Do you remember your aunt Karen? – Kind of…
那肯定是她的现任男友
That must be this year’s man.
我总是宅在卧室里
I spent so much time in our bedroom,
假装枕头就是我的丈夫
pretending my pillow was my husband…
问它喜不喜欢我做的晚餐
and did he like the dinner I just made
冬天去哪里度假
and where were we going that winter on vacation…
然后他拿出去伯利兹的票给我惊喜
and then, he’d surprise me with tickets to Belize
然后我们接吻
and we will kiss.
我真的就亲了我的枕头
I mean I’d kiss my pillow!
然后我说我去看了医生
and then I’d say that I’d been to the doctor that I am…
发现自己怀孕了
maybe, I was pregnant.
我知道现在听起来那很可悲
I know how pathetic that sounds now,
但是当时就那么单纯
but it was innocent enough.
接着真正开始了生活
Then real life kicks in,
才发现计划根本赶不上变化
things don’t work out like you planned.
从来如此 然后突然发现
They never do… and then.
那个枕头丈夫比现实中
That pillow was a better husband
遇见的所有男人都好
than any real man I’d ever met,
然后你会怪罪自己
And you punish yourself and tell yourself
觉得找不到好男人都是自己的错
it’s your fault you can’t find a good one.
我不知道你还记不记得安德鲁
I don’t know how well you remember Andrew.
你记得安德鲁吗
You remember Andrew?
不 我记得他
No, I remember him.
我当时那么爱他
I loved him so intensely,
把他的错误
so, the things he did wrong,
都当成个给我纠正他的机会
were just opportunities for me to make ’em right.
当他出轨 骂我时
When he’d cheat on me or called me a cunt,
我会说 没事 爱情是永恒的
I’d say, “No, love is forever,
这只是个修正我
this is just an opportunity for me
世界观的机会
to make an adjustment in the way that I view the world.”
感谢上帝 一天我看着镜子说
And thank God,I just looked into a mirror
你这个笨蛋
and said, “Moron,”
于是出走
and I walked out.
终于有一天 我发现
But, one day… finally I said,
这都怪我自己
It’s me.
与别人无关
It’s just me.
我什么都不需要 一个人照样可以过
I don’t need anything else, I can live my life with myself.”
然后我考了驾照
And, that’s how I got my license,
投身事业 卖♥♥掉了许多房♥子
I threw myself into my work, sold a ton of houses,
就是这样遇到的史蒂夫
and that’s how I met Steve.
日子就该这么过 芭芭
That’s how it works, Barb.
他大我十岁
Ah, he’s ten years older,
但他很有思想
but he is such a thinker,
而且特别善良
and he’s such a good man.
他心地很好 对我也很好
He’s such a good heart and he’s good for me.
对我来说
I guess, the best thing about him, for me,
他最好的就是
is that now…
我现在只在乎眼前
what I think about is now.
活在当下
I live now.
我的重心 我的生活
My focus, my life,
我的世界 只在当下