当我往前走之时偶尔会瞥到一缕美丽之景（2000）

都是随机的 就跟那些影像一样
by chance, same as the images
就跟我处理那些影像一样
same as I am putting
those images together,
也跟当初我拍摄它们时一样
exactly the same
when I originally filmed them,
一切都是随机的 没有任何计划
by chance, with no plan,
只是将它们显示出来
just according
只是一瞬间的心血来潮
just to the whim of the moment,
那种面临着我应该拍摄的事物的瞬间所产生的感觉
what I felt at that moment
that I should be filming
世间周遭 无问缘由
this or that, without knowing why.
声音也一样
Same with the sounds
这些年来我一直收藏着
that I have collected
through all those years,
我重拾起它们
I’m picking up all those sounds
将它们都收进音轨内
and putting them here
on the soundtrack,
同样也是随机地
by chance.
回忆
回忆
Memories…
Memories…
影像、声音与回忆
Image, sound memories.
无需任何的评判
No judgment here…
无论是积极的还是消极的
positive, negative,
好的还是坏的
good, bad…
它们只是影像与声音罢了
they’re just images and sounds,
纯粹无比
very very innocent
互相交织着
in and by themselves,
如影随形
as they pass through…
持续地行进着
as they go and they go,
纯粹无比
very very innocent.
是的，人们令我感到不悦
Yes, people are bad,
但电影是纯洁的
cinema is innocent,
纯洁无比
innocent.
人们并不是纯洁的
People are not innocent.
他们不是
They are not.
我们来到第三章啦
Here is a surprise for Chapter Three.
那么正常人会怎么做呢
Now, what do the normal,
regular people usually do?
当然了 他们会结婚
Of course, they get married.
所以 霍利斯和我 也就是这部电影的主人公
So, Hollis and me, that is,
the protagonist of this film,
我们决定和那些认真的正常人一样
we decided to try to be
like all the normal,
serious people:
我们决定结婚
we decided to get married.
啊！阿尔穆斯！你那无限的能量
Ah, Almus,
with your boundless energy…
啊！雅克·勒杜
Ah, Jacques Ledoux,
亲爱的勒杜
sweet Ledoux…
啊！P·亚当斯、艾伦
Ah, P. Adams, Allan.
肯恩和理查德
Ken, and Richard.
哈利 我怀念你的那些笑话
Harry I miss your jokes…
我怀念你的那些笑话
I miss your jokes.
啊，风云人物来了
Ah, and there is
the man of the minute…
还有霍利斯的父亲
and Hollis’s father,
以及她的兄弟们
and Hollis’s brother…
标题：1月10日
Title: January 10th.
看着雪花飘落
Watching the snow fall.
在空无一物的地方
Keep looking for things,
继续寻找着
in places, where there is nothing.
梦境
The dream,
哭泣的房♥间
the crying room.
哭泣的房♥间
The crying room.
哭泣的原野
The crying field.
we never see its…
看到其内部的房♥间
inside.
有一个房♥间 里面有一个女人
There is a room in
which there is a woman
在不住地哭泣
who cries and cries.
我们只能听到她的哭声 但永远无法见到她
We hear her crying
but we never see her.
在哭泣的原野上
The crying field.
有一个房♥间
There is a room.
“我们无一所知
“Wir nichts von den Dingen wissen
唯凭自身努力
实则荒谬可笑。”
was wir nicht selbst
in sie hinein gelegt haben.”
伊曼努尔·康德
Emmanuel Kant
寂静
The silence.
寂静
The silence.
但在寂静之中会发生什么
But what happens during the silences?
是的 寂静
Yes, the silences…
但在寂静之中会发生什么
But what happens during the silences?
这种痛苦比以往任何时候都要强烈
我见过一些失落的天堂
The pain is stronger than ever.
I’ve seen bits of lost Paradises
我深知我返程无望了
and I know I’ll be hopelessly
trying to return
但我也会去尝试 即使会受伤
even if it hurts.
在虚无中飘荡得越深
The deeper I swing into
the regions of nothingness
我就会被抛回得越远
the further I’m thrown back
into myself,
一次又一次
越来越恐惧的深渊潜藏在我之下
each time more and more frightening
depths below me,
直至我的生命堕入眩晕
until my very being becomes dizzy.
偶尔能看到晴朗的天空
There are brief glimpses
of clear sky,
如同从树上掉下来一般
所以我知道该往何处
like falling out of a tree, so I have
some idea where I am going,
但仍然有太多过于清晰与条条框框的事物
but there is still too much clarity
and straight order of things,
无论如何 我总是尘封于此
I am getting always
the same number somehow.
所以我吐出了这些支离破碎的
So I vomit out broken bits
of words and syntaxes
我所经国家的语言
断肢，屠场
of the countries I’ve passed through,
broken limbs, slaughtered houses,
地理
我的心已被荼毒
geographies.
My heart is poisoned,
我的大脑里留下了
my brain left in shreds
恐怖和悲伤的碎片
of horror and sadness.
我从未让这个世界失望
I’ve never let you down, world,
但它却一直对我行着卑鄙之事
but you did lousy things to me.
这种踌躇不前、入地无门的感觉
This feeling of going nowhere,
of being stuck,
如同但丁在他第一个诗节中所言
the feeling of Dante’s first strophe,
惧怕着向下一步、下个阶段迈进
as if afraid of the next step,
next stage.
只要我不对自身做总结，光是停留在表面
As long as I don’t sum up myself,
stay on the surface,
我就不需要向前
I don’t have to move forwards,
我就不需要做出糟糕、痛苦的决定
I don’t have to make
painful and terrible decisions,
做出何从何去的选择
choices, where to go and how.
因为这些要做出的决定越糟糕
Because deeper there are
terrible decisions to make,
所采取措施的危害也就越大
terrible steps to take.
我们在四十岁死去，余者在二十岁苟且
It is at forty that we die,
those who did not die at twenty.
我们在四十岁时背叛了自己的身体与灵魂
It is at forty that we betray
ourselves, our bodies, our souls,
要么浮于水面 要么渐行渐远
by either staying
on the surface or by going further
但通过最简单的决定
but through the easiest decisions,
retarding,
迟钝将我们的灵魂抛回至成千上万的轮回之中
throwing our souls back
by thousands of incarnations.
但现在的我已然接近尾声
But I have come close to the end now,
这是个关乎我能不能成功的问题
it is the question
will I make it or will I not.
我的生命中充满了太多的痛苦
我不断地问自己
My life has become too painful
and I keep asking myself,
为了逃离我现在的处境
我都在做些什么
what I am doing
to get out of where I am,
我都在我的生命中做着什么
what am I doing with my life.
我花了很长时间才意识到这是爱
It took me long to realize