把一些文件拿去签字了 特迪在他的房♥间吗?
Getting some papers signed. Is Teddy in his room?
你怎么了?
What is the matter with you?
到处跑着拿着文件找人签字
Running around getting papers signed at a time like this.
玛瑟和我准备去找警♥察♥的
Martha and I are going for the police.
警♥察♥
Police!
等等
Wait!
你不能叫警♥察♥来 -这个 不能?
You can’t go for the police. -Oh, no?
你知道乔纳森干了些什么吗?
You know what Jonathan’s doing?
他把霍斯金和斯班纳 埋在一起了
He’s putting Mr. Hoskins and Mr. Spenalzo in together.
就这样吧 让他去吧
All right, let him.
终于填完了
This is all fixed up nice now.
平的就象湖面一样
Nice and smooth like a lake.
总统先生看到他的 巴拿马运河一定会非常高兴的
The President will be very proud of his Panama Canal.
我已经很困了
Bed feels good already.
你知道 我们已经48小时没有睡觉了
You know, we didn’t get any sleep for 48 hours.
你还忘记了一点 医生
You’re forgetting, Doctor.
如果乔纳森和斯班纳明天早上之前不离开这儿
If Jonathan and Mr. Spenalzo aren’t out this house before morning…
我们就去报告警♥察♥
…we’re going for the police.
我会让他们离开的 我保证!
I’ll get them out, I promise!
然后你也可以举♥行♥婚礼了 -记住 别叫警♥察♥ 别叫警♥察♥
Then you get the wedding silver. -Remember, no police! No police!
听着 去睡觉吧 好吗
Look, go to bed, will you?
把这些衣服脱了! 你们看起来象两个修女
Get out of those clothes! You look like a double blackout.
我的兄弟 莫蒂默
My brother, Mortimer.
我刚听见他在楼上
I just heard him upstairs.
不 我累了
No! I am tired.
你忘了 我明天还要给你做手术呢
You forget, I got to operate on your face tomorrow.
你明天要做手术 医生
You are going to operate tomorrow, Doctor.
不过今晚我们要照顾一下莫蒂默
But tonight we are taking care of Mortimer.
但是 乔纳森 别在今晚 我困了
But Johnny, not tonight! I’m sleepy.
我们明天或者后天再去
We’ll do it tomorrow. Or the next day.
看着我 医生
Look at me, Doctor.
你能看见我已经决定要做 不是吗
You can see that it’s got to be done, can’t you?
是的 我知道
Yeah, I know that look.
现在解除我们的合伙关系稍微有点晚
It’s a little late to dissolve our partnership.
好 乔纳森 好 我们做
Okay, Johnny. Okay, we’ll do it.
但是快一点 呃? 象伦敦的那两次一样快
But the quick way, huh? The quick twist like in London.
不 医生 我觉得这一次很特殊
No, Doctor. I think this calls for something special.
我认为 大概该用墨尔本的方法
I think, perhaps, the Melbourne method.
别用墨尔本的方法 好吗!
Not the Melbourne method, please!
两个小时!
Two hours!
两个小时才结束 然后又怎么样呢?
And then when it was all over, what?
那个伦敦家伙还不是和墨尔本的一样死了
The fellow in London was just as dead as the fellow in Melbourne.
别吹 我的总统
Don’t do that, Mr. President.
但是没有召开内阁会议我不能签字
But I cannot sign anything without consulting my Cabinet.
这是一个秘密
This must be secret.
一个不能公布的秘密?真特殊
A secret proclamation? How unusual.
是的 这是一个使我们比其他人聪明的办法
Yes, it’s the only way we can outsmart the other fellow.
谁是其他人? -这是一个秘密
Who’s the other fellow? -That’s the secret.
哦 我知道了!
Oh, I see!
非常聪明
Very clever.
一个秘密的宣布应该是秘密签字的
A secret proclamation has to be signed in secret.
当然 总统先生 -我去穿我签字用的衣服
Of course, Mr. President. -I’ll put on my signing clothes.
你已经穿上了 总统先生
You already have them on, Mr. President.
是吗 等等
So I have. Wait here.
布鲁斯特先生
Hey, Mr. Brewster.
怎么了 有老鼠吗?
What is it, mice?
你赶紧离开这个房♥子 -你没看我正忙着吗?
You get out of this house. -Can’t you see I’m busy?
谢谢你 总统先生
Thank you, Mr. President.
终于办完了 伙计 我能喝一杯吗!
What a load off my mind. Boy, could I use a drink!
快离开这 好吗 快点? -什么? 大点声音 我听不见
Get out of here, will you, please? -What? Speak up. I can’t hear you.
乔纳森现在心情很不好 快跑!
Johnny’s in a bad mood. Get out!
别这么鬼鬼祟祟的 我听不见 -你听我一句好吗 快走
Stop underplaying. I can’t hear you. -Please listen to me. Get out.
别这样! 你这是干什么? 听着 医– 你真的是医生?
Stop all this! What are you doing? Look, Doc– Are you really a doctor?
是的 海德尔堡 1919
Yes, Heidelberg, 1919.
海德尔堡 ? 那你怎么跟乔纳森混到一起去了?
Heidelberg? How’d you hook up with Jonathan?
我以后再告诉你 但你现在快走 听我一句
I tell you later about that, but you go now. Please listen to me.
停住 医生!
Stop it, Doctor!
你快离开这儿! 听着 乔纳森在那种状态下
You get out of here! Look, when Johnny’s in that mood…
他就是个疯子 他会发狂的!
…he’s a madman. He’s a maniac!
而且事情会变的非常可怕
And then things happen. Horrible things.
快离开这里! -你能停住吗?
Get out of here! -Will you stop it?
不要再跟我谈乔纳森 我会照顾他
Stop telling me about Jonathan, I’ll take care of him.
你照顾你自己 现在快走 矮家伙
You take care of yourself. Get going, little fellow.
那是什么? 等等 -我的松子酒
What’s that? Wait. -My schnapps.
我想喝点 -这是我的
I could use that. -That’s mine.
这只为戏剧批评家准备的
Please. Only for dramatic critics.
事情变的糟糕以前你快离开这儿
You beat it before things start popping around here.
但是 听着 布鲁斯特先生
But, look, Mr. Brewster, please.
你刚刚结婚
You’ve just been married.
你还有一个漂亮的妻子在等着你 现在快走吧
You have a nice little wife waiting for you. Please go now.
快点
Please.
你每天看的那些戏剧都没有教会你什么吗?
Don’t those plays you see all the time teach you anything?
不要把我扯到戏剧的主题里去!我已经够烦了 我在等威瑟斯庞先生
Don’t get me on the subject of plays! I’ve got to wait for Mr. Witherspoon.
至少演员在戏剧中的 演出是凭着感觉在演的
At least people in plays act like they got sense.
难道有人在戏剧中的 表演是用智力在演吗
Did anybody in a play ever act like they got intelligence?
怎么会有这么愚蠢的人? -你应该来干我这行的
How can somebody be so stupid? -You ought to have my job.
等你出狱了 你应该去加里克剧院的
When you get out of prison, have yourself wheeled to the Garrick Theater.
那里有一个戏剧非常糟糕 你去了肯定会变的好一些
There’s a play that’s so bad, it’ll still be running when you get out.
有一个人 你听我说
There’s a man…. Now listen to this.
他知道房♥子里有杀人犯 而且也知道他很危险
He knows he’s in the house with murderers and should know he’s in danger.
甚至他被警告要离开 他走了没有呢?
He’s even been warned to get out. And does he go?
不 他没有 他留下来了
No, he doesn’t. He stays!
这个家伙甚至没有警惕或者害怕的感觉
This fellow doesn’t even have sense to be scared or to be on his guard.
那个杀人犯甚至邀请他坐下
The murderer even invites him to sit down.
你觉得他会怎么做? -我不知道
What do you think he does? -I don’t know.
他坐下了!
He sits down!
他故意把椅子拉出来 然后坐在上面
He deliberately pulls up a chair and he sits down in it.
怎么样?
Isn’t that great?
然后呢 就等着被绑起来 嘴巴被塞东西
So there he is, all waiting to be trussed up and gagged.
你觉得他们会用什么绑他? 窗帘的绳子
What do you think they tied him up with? The curtain cord.
窗帘绳?
Curtain cord?
但是他没有看到他去取那个绳子吗?
But didn’t he see him get it?
不 那个大木头人就坐在那里 背对着那个杀人犯
No. The silly chump sits down with his back toward the murderer.
他只是四处张望 但是看到他没呢? 没有!
All he has to do is look around, but does he? No!
海德尔堡兄弟 出现在一个戏剧甚至是一个电影里
See, brother Heidelberg, in a play or even in a movie…
一个看不见也听不见的家伙 对
…a fellow never sees or hears anything. That’s right.
那他做什么呢?
But what does he do?
那个大傻瓜坐在那里 就这样傻傻的坐在那里
The big chump sits there. This fellow’s supposed to be bright.
就象我现在这样坐着 看看这个姿势
Now get a load of this. Look at the attitude.
他就这样亲自坐在椅子上! 等着被绑然后把他的嘴巴塞住
Large as life! He sits there waiting to be tied up and gagged.
大笨蛋!
The big dope!
你正好就是那个笨蛋 真是不太聪明
You were right about that fellow. He wasn’t very bright.
对 莫蒂默
Yes, Mortimer.
我离开了20年
I’ve been away for 20 years.
不过最后 我亲爱的哥哥 你还是没能逃出我的手掌心
But never, my dear brother, were you out of my mind.
在墨尔本的一个晚上 我梦见你了
In Melbourne one night, I dreamt of you.
你越使劲挣扎 你就陷的越深
The more you struggle the more you strangle yourself.
然后 为你自己祈祷吧
Later on, you may consider that a blessing.
现在 医生
Now, Doctor…
我们开始工作
…we go to work.
乔纳森 为了我 快点的 好吗
Johnny, for me, the quick way. Please.
这是一个艺术的工作 -求你了
This must be an artistic achievement. -Please.
再说 我们是在一个著名的批评家面前表演
After all, we’re performing before a very distinguished critic.
求你了
Please!
好吧 我们开始做吧
All right. Let’s get it over with.
但是没有酒我不敢看这个
But I cannot see this without the drink.
集中精力 医生
Pull yourself together.
但是没有酒我没办法集中精力
But I can’t pull myself together without a drink.
你记得我们进来的时候 有一些红酒的
You remember when we came in, there was some wine.
后来她们把它收起来了 放在哪儿了?
And then they took it. Where did they put it?