世界末日（1998）

你结婚多久了?
How long you been married?
两个礼拜
For two weeks.
你看到吗?
See this diamond?
看到
Yeah.
这不是钻石 想再喝一杯吗?
It’s not a diamond. Would you like another drink?
好
Yeah.
先生 联邦调查局
Sir, F.B.I. So cute. No, thanks.
事关国♥家♥安♥全♥
We have a national security matter.
那敢情好
Good for you.
马上跟我走
Let’s go. Now.
你到底几岁?
How old are you?
怪怪的奥斯卡 是杰出的地质学家
Oscar Choice. Spacy but absolutely brilliant geologist.
他在德州有座农场
He owns a horse ranch outside of El Paso.
奇克查普先生
Mr. Chick Chapel,
他一定是在赌城的凯撒宫掷骰子
at the craps table.
终于赢了
Yes! About time.
奇克查普? 别玩了
Charles Chapel, game’s over.
谁要操作另一个钻头? 班尼如何? 他不错
Who’s gonna run the other rig? How about Benny? He’s good.
你应该知道小杰是不二人选
The only one who knows how to run it as well as I do is A.J.
你说他不值得信任
I thought you said you couldn’t trust him.
你说他值得信任
I thought you said I could.
你独当一面了 小杰
Yep, you are on your way, A.J.
自己当老板有很多好处
Well, being in business for yourself has its advantages.
不必打卡 没有人会开枪射我
Make my own hours, nobody shoots me in the leg.
你没带枪吧?
You don’t got a gun on you now, do you?
那就好
Oh, good,
咱们再谈谈你为什么找我帮忙
’cause I kinda wanted to get back to this whole thing about you askin’ me for help.
难道什么都懂的万事通史哈利
Does that mean that there’s a job that Mr. AllGoNoQuitBigNuts Harry Stamper…
也有搞不定的事 需要用到我的专长吗?
can’t handle by himself and needs my expert advice?
算是吧
Somethin’ like that, yeah.
这可不行 你说算是到底是不是呢?
Well, no, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, is it something like that, or is it that?
我和你合不来
You know, you and me got a real problem.
哈利 现在我只想听你说出五个字
You know, Harry, there are only five words I wanna hear from you right now.
那就是
Those words are:
小杰 我佩服你
You know, A.J., I really look up to you.
你是我的偶像
You’ve been a hero of mine for a long time,
我好崇拜你 只是不敢说
and I’m very impressed with your work. I’m emotionally closed off.
那好像不只五个字
That’s like That’s like 11 words or something.
那就说 小杰 对不起
You know what? How about just, “A.J., I’m sorry,
我爱你
and I love ya.”
小杰 我在地球上永远都不想再跟你共事
You know, A.J., there’s not a job on the planet I want you to work with me on.
我是说真的
I mean that.
你为什么要来?
So what are you doin’ here?
是什么事?
Harry, what’s the job?
麦斯 好兄弟
Hey, Bear.
怎么? 太空总署在天王星找到石油吗?
What’s up, Harry? Did NASA find oil on Uranus, man?
你们不必去
None of you have to go.
我们大可以坐在这里等这块大石头撞上来
We can just sit here on Earth, wait for this big rock to crash into it…
摧毁地球的一切
and kill everything and everybody we know.
美国政♥府♥要我们拯救世界
The United States government just asked us to save the world.
谁想要拒绝?
Anybody wanna say no?
这二十年来
Twenty years.
我从来没拒绝过你 现在也不会
Haven’t turned you down once. I’m not about to start now.
我参加
I’m there.
你不能一个人去
Guess I can’t let you go up there alone.
我也参加
I’m with you.
这是历史大事
I mean, this is this is historic.
我们是超级英雄
Guys, this is like deep blue hero stuff.
我当然参加
Of course I’m in.
虽然我没他那么兴奋 不过你也知道
While I don’t share his enthusiasm, you know me.
送我上去吧
Beam me up, Scotty.
你呢 麦斯?
You all right, Max?
不知道…
I don’t I don’t
你说好就好
Whatever you think.
你呢?
What about you?
我参加
I’m in.
好吧
All right, then.
那就去吧
We go.
我不是斤斤计较 不过…
I don’t mean to be the materialistic weasel of this group,
…我们有意外保险吗?
but you think we’ll get hazard pay out of this?
如果你想说服我他们是适当人选 省省吧
If you’re trying to make me feel better about this scenario, give it up.
老实说 我很乐观
To tell you the truth, I’m kind of encouraged.
奇克当过六年的飞行员
This guy Chick here was an Air Force commando for six years.
这些人干过抢案 被逮捕过 拒捕过
We got robbery, assault, arrest, resisting arrest.
有一个人替黑道收钱 有两个人坐过牢
We got a collection agent for the mob. Two of these guys have done serious time.
他们是最顶尖的人才
Look, they’re the best at what they do.
我也是 我可没你这么乐观
So am I. And I’m not so optimistic.
政♥府♥每年有两千五百亿的国防预算
We spend $250 billion a year on defence.
现在却得靠一群
And here we are. The fate of the planet is
靠不住的坏胚子来拯救地球
in the hands of a bunch of retards I wouldn’t trust with a potato gun.
他们怎么决定?
So what’s the verdict?
他们答应 不过有几个要求
They’ll do it. They’ve made a few requests though.
什么要求?
Such as?
只有几个要求
Just a few things here.
很小的要求 例如说
Nothing really big. Just Well, as an example
奥斯卡有几张罚单没有付
Uh, Oscar here’s got some outstanding parking tickets. Wants ’em wiped off his record.
7个州有56张罚单
Fiftysix tickets in seven states.
让我来说 奥斯卡
I’ll tell him, Oscar. I got it. Okay.
费弟有两个女友想当美国公民
Uh, Noonan’s got two women friends that he’d like to see made American citizens,
不能多问
no questions asked.
麦斯想要大家再使用匣式录音带
Max would like you to bring back eighttrack tapes.
这恐怕不太可能
Not sure if that’s gonna work,
还有什么?
but let’s see what else.
奇克想到赌城的凯撒宫住一个礼拜
Chick wants a full week’s Emperor’s Package at Caesar’s Palace.
你们能说出是谁杀了肯尼迪吗?
Hey, you guys wouldn’t be able to tell us who actually killed Kennedy, would ya?
大熊想要住在…
Uh, Bear would like to stay at the…
…白马?
White Horse.
白宫
White House. White House.
他想在白宫的林肯卧房♥住一个暑假
Yeah, he’d like to stay in the Lincoln Bedroom of the White House for the summer.
诸如此类
Stuff like that.
有些要求应该没有问题
Sure, I think we can take care of some of that.
哈利
Harry!
还有一件事
Yeah, one more thing.
他们以后都不想再缴税
None of them wanna pay taxes again.
永远都不缴
Ever.
这是干什么的?
Who’s that for? Mr. Ed?
你敢扎我 我就扎你的心脏
You stick that in me, I’m gonna stab you in the heart with it.
你看过 低俗小说 吗?
You ever see Pulp Fiction?
他快死了 让开
We’re losin’ him, we’re losin’ him. Clear! Kaboom!
费弟 你还好吧?
Freddie, you all right?
你看我这样好吗?
Does this look okay to you?
还好 有点麻麻的
Does this look okay? It’s not all bad. It’s kinda tingly.
查先生 该你了
Mr. Chapel, you’re next!
小姐 我只是来钻洞
Oh, gee, lady, I just came here to drill.
我也是
Oh, so did I.
三甘油化物指数太高 胆固醇量更是不得了
Your triglycerides are way high, and your bad cholesterol is shockingly bad.
别吃太多肥猪肉
Gotta lay off those pork rinds, Bear!
肥你的头 给你看吧
Pork rinds this! Yeah!
秀给他们看
Show them
至少他们很有精神
Well, at least they’re in good spirits.
太简单了
Piece of cake.
你想跟我比脑力?
Look, you wanna compare brain pans?
我十二岁就得奖学金 有什么了不起?
I won the Westinghouse prize when I was 12. Big deal.
十九岁出版论文 那又怎样?
Published at 19. So what?
二十二岁成为麻省理工学院化学和地理双料博士
I got a double doctorate from M.I.T. at 22. Chemistry and geology.
我在普林斯顿大学教过两年半的书
I taught at Princeton for two and a half years.
这是我待过最不舒服的房♥间
You know, I think this might be the most uncomfortable room I’ve ever been in in my life.
我为什么要当钻油工?
Why do I do this?
因为干这行能领高薪 环游世界 还能玩炸♥药♥
Because the money’s good, the scenery changes, and they let me use explosives, okay?
尽管跟我玩心理游戏
Okay, you wanna be all psychological with me, that’s fine.