麦克斯 我给你介绍个女孩 你会喜欢她的
Max, I’ve got a girl for you. You are going to love her.
她是《滚石》杂♥志♥的记者
She’s a reporter for Rolling Stone.
我想到这儿来看 玛哈利师(印度超在禅定派玄学士)的人
There are more people here to see the Maharishi
比去看迪伦(鲍勃·迪伦) 演唱会的人还多
than there were to see the Dylan concert.
我报道了那场迪伦演唱会 简直酷毙了
I covered the Dylan concert, which gave me chills.
特别是当他唱道：”她像女人一般占有”
Especially when he sang, “She takes just like a woman
她做♥爱♥时像个女人
and she makes love just like a woman.
是的 她是的
Yes, she does.
她痛楚时像个女人
And she aches just like a woman…
但是她哭泣时却像个小女孩
but she breaks just like a little girl. ”
除了这个 我想我报道过的最有魅力的事件是
Up to that, the most charismatic event I covered…
米克(米克·贾格尔)过生日时 “滚石”乐队在麦迪逊广场花♥园♥的那场表演
was Mick’s birthday when the Stones played Madison Square Garden.
是的 很棒 的确很棒
That’s just great.
你喜欢迪伦吗?
You catch Dylan?
我?没有 我没能赶上那晚他的… 我的浣熊得了肝炎
No, I couldn’t make it. My raccoon had hepatitis.
你养浣熊?
You have a raccoon?
有几只
A few.
唯一能形容这个的词是”超妙”
The only word for this is “transplendent. ”
超妙 – 我可以想个其它的词
It’s transplendent. – I can think of another word.
他是上帝 我是说 这个人是上帝
He’s God. I mean, this man is God.
他有数百万的信徒 他们从世界各地虔诚地一路赶过来
He’s got millions of followers, who would crawl across the world
为的只是触摸一下他那外袍的下摆
just to touch the hem of his garment.
真的吗?那它的下摆肯定巨大无比
It must be a tremendous hem.
我自己是蔷薇十字会员 – 是吗?
I’m a Rosicrucian myself. – Are you?
我不太能接受那些在《大众机械》 杂♥志♥上打出广♥告♥的宗教
I can’t get with any religion that advertises in Popular Mechanics. Look.
快看 上帝从男洗手间出来了
There’s God coming out of the men’s room.
简直无法置信地超妙
It’s unbelievably transplendent!
我参加了”滚石”乐队在艾尔塔蒙特的演唱会 那次有个家伙被杀了 你还记得吗?
I was at the Stones’ concert when they killed that guy. Remember?
哦 是吗?我有次去听艾利斯·库珀
Were you? I was at an Alice Cooper thing…
现场有六个人因反应剧烈 而被送进了急救医院
where six people were rushed to the hospital with bad vibes.
我希望你别介意 我那么长时间才来(高♥潮♥)
I hope you don’t mind that I took so long to finish.
我?不会 别傻了
Me? No. Don’t be silly.
你知道 我的下巴开始慢慢恢复知觉了
I’m starting to get some feeling back in my jaw now.
跟你做♥爱♥真是种 卡夫卡式(怪诞、超现实)的体验
Sex with you is really a Kafkaesque experience.
噢 谢谢
Thank you.
我那样说是赞赏的意思
I mean that as a compliment.
我认为性高♥潮♥被赋予了过重的负担 你知道
I think there’s too much burden placed on the orgasm…
好像它是用来填补生活中的所有空白似的
to make up for empty areas in life.
那是谁说的?
Who said that?
我不知道 我想也许是列奥泊德和勒布说的 (犹太同性恋青少年、高智商杀人犯)
I don’t know. I think it may have been Leopold and Loeb.
喂
Hello.
呃 没有 怎么啦?
No. What’s the matter?
怎么?你听上去很糟
You sound terrible.
没有 什么…好的 我…
No, what- Sure, I-
什么…什么紧急情况?
What kind of emergency?
不 你呆在那儿 你呆在那儿 现在我马上赶过来
No, stay there. I’ll come over right now.
就呆在那儿 我立刻过去
Just stay there. I’ll come right over.
是我 开门 你怎么样?
It’s me. Open up. Are you okay?
有什么事?你还好吧?
What’s the matter? Are you all right?
卫生间里有个蜘蛛
There’s a spider in the bathroom.
什么? – 卫生间里有个大个的、黑色的蜘蛛
What? – There’s a big spider in the bathroom.
你凌晨三点把我叫到这儿 就因为在卫生间里有个蜘蛛?
You got me here at 3:00 a. m. ’cause a spider’s in the bathroom?
噢 我的天哪 你知道我对虫子的反应 那东西在卫生间到处乱爬 我根本睡不着觉
You know how I am about insects. I can’t sleep with that thing crawling around.
杀死它 看在上帝的份… 你究竟怎么了嘛
Kill it! What’s wrong with you?
你屋里有没有”雷达”罐? – 没有
Don’t you have Raid in the house?
我跟你讲过千百遍了 你一定要时时备足杀虫喷雾剂
I told you a thousand times to keep a lot of insect spray.
你不知道有什么东西会爬出来 – 我知道 我知道
You never know who will crawl over. – I know.
还有急救包和灭火器
And a first aid kit and fire extinguisher.
天哪 行了 给我本杂♥志♥ 因为我有点累了
Give me a magazine, ’cause I’m a little tired.
你知道 你取笑我 你嘲笑我 可是我却时刻准备为你做任何事情
You make fun of me, but I’m prepared for anything.
在紧急情况下 像海啸、地震
An emergency, a tidal wave, an earthquake.
咳 这是什么?你去听摇滚音乐会啦?
What is this? Did you go to a rock concert?
是的
Yeah.
哦 真的吗?你…你喜欢吗?
Really? How’d you like it?
那怎…我是说 那过瘾吗? 有没有获得完全的”过瘾感”?还是…
Was it heavy? Did it achieve total “heavyosity”?
那确实很棒
It was just great!
是吗?我有了个奇妙的主意 为什么你不喊这个带你去听摇滚的家伙?我们给他打电♥话♥
I’ve got an idea. Call the guy who took you to the rock concert…
然后他可以过来杀掉蜘蛛 你知道 这…
and he can come and kill the spider.
我找的是你 你想帮我还是不帮?嗯?给你
I called you. You want to help me or not?
这是什么?从什么时候开始你阅读起 《全国评论》来啦?你现在变成什么人啦?
Since when do you read the National Review? What are you turning into?
那是我想了解各方面的观点
I like to get all points of view.
太棒了 那你为什么不干脆喊 威廉·巴克利(保守派记者)来杀掉蜘蛛
Wonderful. Get William F. Buckley to kill the spider.
艾尔维 你干吗那么敌视我?你知道吗?
You’re a little hostile, you know that?
还有 你看上去很瘦也很疲惫
Not only that, you look thin and tired.
哈 现在是凌晨三点 你把我从床上拽了起来
It’s 3:00 in the morning. You got me out of bed.
我跑了过来 因为我叫不到出租 因为你说你有紧急情况
I ran over. I couldn’t get a taxi. You said it was an emergency.
我没有…我跑上了楼梯
I ran up the stairs.
昨晚早些时候 我还是很有吸引力的
I was more attractive when the evening began.
告诉我 你是…你现在喜欢上 右翼摇滚明星啦?那可能吗?
Are you going with a right-wing rock-and-roll star?
你要不要来一杯巧克力奶?
Would you like a glass of chocolate milk?
咳 我是什么人?你儿子?你什么意思?我来是 – 我有很好的巧克力奶
What am I, your son? I came over for – I’ve got the good chocolate.
好的 蜘蛛在哪儿?在卫生间? – 在卫生间
Where’s the spider? – It’s in the bathroom.
咳 别拍得稀烂 打死以后 用水冲下抽水马桶 行吗?多冲两次
Don’t squish it. After it’s dead, flush it down the toilet, okay?
亲爱的 我从三十岁起 就开始杀蜘蛛了 放心了吗?
I’ve been killing spiders since I was 30. Okay?
那是只非常大的蜘蛛 是的 有大♥麻♥烦了 有两个蜘蛛
It’s a very big spider. A lot of trouble. There’s two of ’em.
是的 我没料到它会有那么大 但是它是只特大蜘蛛
I didn’t think it was that big, but it’s a major spider.
你有扫帚吗 或是雪铲之类 – 噢 我把它留在你房♥里了 对不起
You got a broom or snow shovel? – I left it at your house. I’m sorry.
好吧 我来用这个 – 你要干吗?你用我的…
What are you doing?
亲爱的 在你的卫生间里有个蜘蛛 它的尺寸有别克车那么大
There’s a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.
咳 这是什么?你用黑肥皂? – 用在脸上皮肤的
You got black soap? – It’s for my complexion.
怎么?你加入 “滑稽说唱团(涂黑脸讲笑话)”啦?天哪
Are you joining a minstrel show?
不要担心
Don’t worry.
我杀掉了 两个都杀掉了 你怎么了?
I did it. I killed them both. What’s the matter?
你为什么难过?你想让我抓住它们 把它们养起来?
What are you sad about? Did you want me to capture and rehabilitate ’em?
不要走 行吗? – 你什么意思?”不要走”?
Don’t go, please. – What do you mean?
怎么啦?你还担心会有白蚁?
What’s the matter? Are you expecting termites?
怎么了嘛?
What’s the matter?
我不知道 我想你
I don’t know. I miss you.
天哪 真的? – 噢 是的
Jesus! Really?
艾尔维? – 什么?
Alvy? – What?
我打电♥话♥给你的时候 你屋里有什么人吗?
Was there somebody in your room when I called you?
你什么意思? – 我的意思是有没有其他…我想我听到了声音
What do you mean? – I mean, I thought I heard a voice.
我开着收音机 对不起 是电视 我开着电视
I had the radio on. I’m sorry, it was the television.
艾尔维 我们别再分手了 我不想分开
Let’s never break up again. I don’t want to be apart.
噢 好的 我想我们都已经足够成熟 来应付这样的事了
I think we’re both much too mature for something like that.
住在一起不是很好嘛 不是吗?
Living together hasn’t been so bad, has it?
我的感觉是很好 很棒 你知道吗?
For me it’s been terrific. You know?
比我的前两次婚姻好
Better than either of my marriages.
因为你身上有种不同的东西 我不知道那是什么 但是感觉很好
There’s something different about you. I don’t know what, but it’s great.
你知道 我在想要是你愿意 也许我 可以帮你得到更多的快乐 你知道吗?
I think, if you let me, I could help you have more fun.
我是说我知道那很难 是的
I know it’s hard. Yeah.
艾尔维 这个周末我们出去好不好?
What if we go away this weekend?
为什么我们不带上罗伯 我们三个一起开车去布鲁克林?
Why don’t we get Rob, and the three of us would drive into Brooklyn?
你知道 我们可以带着你看看我们的老家 你会觉得很好玩的 你认为呢?
We could show you the old neighborhood. That’d be fun for you.
好的 我很乐意
Yeah, I’d love it.
噢 我的天 今天太棒了
God, it’s a great day!
咳 你看着点路好吗?看着点路 你会彻底毁了这车的
Watch the road! You’ll total the car!
咳 你知道吗? 我以前从没去过布鲁克林
I’ve never been to Brooklyn.
我等不及了 想去看看我们的老家 – 是啊 老家会感觉很棒的
I can’t wait to see the neighborhood. – The neighborhood will be great.
我们还能带她看看校园操场 – 对 我那时是个运动能手 告诉她 麦克斯
We could show her the schoolyard. – I was a great athlete. Tell her.
我是最棒的 我是全能选手 – 是的 我记得的
I was all-schoolyard.
他是全能选手 有一次有人扔给他 一只橄榄球 他居然想试着运球
They threw him a football once. He tried to dribble it.
是的 那时我丢掉不少眼镜
I used to lose my glasses a lot.
噢 看 快看 那是我家的老房♥子 那是我住过的地方
Look! That’s my old house. That’s where I used to live.
我的老天
Holy cow!
你很幸运 麦克斯 我以前住过的地方 现在成了一家色情用品商店
You’re lucky. Where I used to live is now a pornographic equipment store.
我有一些很美好的回忆在这儿
I had some very good memories there.
什么样的美好回忆 麦克斯? 你的父母亲总是吵个不停
What good memories, your mother and father fighting all the time?
不错 而且总是为些最荒唐可笑的事情
And over the most ridiculous things.
你把清洁房♥间的女仆开除啦? – 她在偷东西
You fired the cleaning woman? – She was stealing!