我知道它很小 – 对 而且里面的水管也坏了 还有好多虫子
I know it’s small. – And it’s got bad plumbing and bugs.
行 同意 水管坏了、有好多虫子 但是 听起来那像是坏事似的
Granted, it has bad plumbing and bugs. You say that like it’s a negative.
你知道虫子是…
Bugs are-
昆虫学是一门正在快速发展的学科 – 你不愿意我和你住在一起
Entomology is a rapidly growing field. – You don’t want me to live with you.
我不愿意你和我住在一起?谁这样想的? – 我
I don’t? Whose idea was it? – Mine.
是的 事实上是你这样想的
It was yours, actually.
但是 我也立刻同意了
But I approved it immediately.
我猜你是以为 我想把自己的意愿强加在你身上
You think I talked you into something.
没有 我们住在一起 我们睡在一起 我们吃在一起
No. We live together, we sleep together, we eat together.
天哪 你不会想让我们看起来 已经结婚了吧 是吗?
Jesus, you don’t want it to be like we’re married, do you?
有什么区别吗? – 你有你自己的住处 那么就有区别
How is it any different? – Because you keep your own apartment.
因为它在那儿 尽管我们可以不去住 我们可以不去管它
It’s there. We don’t have to go to it, deal with it…
但是它就像一只在水面上漂着的救生筏有了它 我们就知道我们没有结婚
but it’s like a free-floating life raft that we know that we’re not married.
那套小公♥寓♥一个月要400美元 艾尔维
That little apartment is $400 a month, Alvy.
那地方要400美元一个月? – 是的
That place is $400 a month? – Yes, it is.
里面的那些坏水管和虫子?老天
It’s got bad plumbing and bugs. Jesus.
让报税员作为我课税减免的一款 我来替你付好了
My accountant will write it off as a tax deduction. I’ll pay for it.
你认为我不够聪明 老是想糊弄我 是吗?
You don’t think I’m smart enough to be serious about.
别荒唐了
Don’t be ridiculous.
那你为什么老是逼着我去修 大学里的那些课程 好像我是个笨蛋似的
Then why are you always pushing me to take college courses like I was dumb?
因为成人教育是件极好的事
Adult education is a wonderful thing!
你会遇上许多有意思的教授 你知道 那很激励人的
You meet a lot of interesting professors. It’s stimulating.
这听起来像是一门好的课吗 《现代美国诗歌♥》?
Does this sound like a good course: “Modern American Poetry”?
噢 看看这个…
Or, let’s see…
也许我应该选《小说入门》
maybe I should take “Introduction to the Novel. ”
只要不选要让你读《裴欧沃夫》 (英格兰诗史)的课就行
Just don’t take any course where they make you read Beowulf.
什么?
What?
嗨 听着 你认为怎么样? 我们要不要去参加在南汉普敦的聚会?
What do you think? Should we go to that party in South Hampton?
不 别傻了 我们还需要别人干吗?
No, don’t be silly. What do we need other people for?
我们应该马上关灯 开始玩藏”腊肠”之类的游戏
We should just turn out the lights and play hide the “salam” or something.
嗯 我去拿根烟 行吗?
Well, I’m going to get a cigarette, okay?
麻烟 对吗?幻想着那会使白种女人 更像比莉·霍利戴(美国黑人爵士女歌♥手)
Grass, right? The illusion that it makes a white woman more like Billie Holiday.
你没在做♥爱♥时磕过药吗? – 我?没有
Have you ever made love high? – Me? No.
你知道 如果我用大♥麻♥或酒精 那我就会过分出色了
If I have grass or alcohol, I get unbearably wonderful.
难以言表地出色
I get too wonderful for words.
我不明白为什么每次我们做♥爱♥ 你都要用药来兴奋
I don’t know why you have to get high every time we make love.
那让我放松
It relaxes me.
在我们上♥床♥之前 你非得拿人造的药物来放松吗?
You have to be artificially relaxed before we can go to bed?
有什么区别吗?
What’s the difference, anyway?
我要给你来一针喷妥撒钠(麻♥醉♥药♥) 这样你就可以睡过去了
I’ll give you a shot of Sodium Pentothal. You can sleep through it.
得了吧 瞧瞧谁在说话 是你看了十五年心理医生好吧
Look who’s talking! You’ve been seeing a psychiatrist for 15 years.
你应该吸一些这个 那样你就可以立马摆脱心理医生了
You should smoke some of this. You’d be off the couch in no time.
行了 你不需要这个 – 你要干吗?
Come on, you don’t need that. – What are you doing?
别 艾尔维 求你了 – 至少这一次你可以不抽
No, Alvy, please? – You can live without it once.
等一下 我有个好主意
Wait, I got a great idea.
稍等一会儿 我有件小玩意 一件起性的小玩意
Hang in there for a second. I got a little erotic artifact
我从城里带来的 我认为那会棒极了
that I brought up from the city, which I think is going to be perfect.
你看 制♥造♥出一点新奥尔良的旧城氛围
There. Create a little old New Orleans essence.
现在我们可以开始干活了
Now we can go about our business…
如果我们愿意的话 甚至都可以来冲相片了
and even develop photographs if we want to.
有什么不对劲吗? – 没有 怎么了?
Is something wrong? – No, why?
我不知道 你有点心不在焉
I don’t know. It’s like you’re removed.
不 我还好
No, I’m fine.
真的吗?
Really?
我不知道 感觉你好像不在这儿一样
I don’t know. You seem sort of distant.
就让我们做吧 行吗?
Let’s just do it, all right?
只是我的感觉还是什么 你好像没怎么投入感情
Was it my imagination or are you just going through the motions?
艾尔维 你记得我把 画画的本子放哪儿了吗?
Alvy, do you remember where I put my drawing pad?
因为你们俩干♥你♥们的 我想我还是来画点画好了
Because while you two are doing that, I’m going to do some drawing.
看到没有 那就是我说的”心不在焉”
That’s what I call removed!
唉 你有我的身体
You have my body.
但是 那样感觉不好 我要你的全部
But I want the whole thing!
但是我需要大♥麻♥ 你也应该来点
I need grass.
但是你抽大♥麻♥让我很沮丧
It ruins it for me if you have grass.
因为 你知道 譬如说 我在演喜剧 如果我从一个磕了药的家伙那里赢得了笑声
I’m like a comedian, so if I get a laugh from a person who’s high…
那压根就不作数嘛 你知道 因为他们一直在笑嘛
it doesn’t count, ’cause they’re always laughing.
你一直那么搞笑吗?
Were you always funny?
咳 这是什么?是在采访吗? 我们应该做♥爱♥才对嘛
Is this an interview? We’re supposed to be making love.
这家伙天生很搞笑 我想他能为你写点什么
This guy is naturally funny. I think he can write for you.
是啊 是啊 咳 小子 他告诉我你很不错
Yeah, yeah. Hey, kid, he tells me you’re really good.
那么我来解释下我的表演风格 你会说我乍一看上去…
Let me explain how I work. You can tell off the bat…
并不像是个有趣的家伙 不像有些人 你知道
that I don’t look like a funny guy like some of the guys.
他们一出场你就知道他们会讲些故事 然后逗得你笑翻在地
You know they’re going to tell you their stories, you’re going to fall down.
但是我有真正的才能 我的笑料必须非常具有感染力
But I gotta be really talented. Material’s got to be sensational for me.
因为我的表演 你知道 很…很… 我讲究某种品味 你知道我的意思吗?
I work- I’m kind of classy. Know what I mean?
我来解释一下 比如说 我会用一首歌♥来开场
Let me explain. I’ll open with an opening song.
像这样的音乐开始…
The music will start.
我走出来 “这地方看起来真不错”
I walk out. Place looks wonderful from here
“你们瞧上去也很棒”
You folks look wonderful from here
“看到你们坐在那儿笑容挂在脸上”
And seeing you there With a smile on your face
“令我高喊 这就是我的地方”
Makes me shout This must be the place
我在半当中猛然停下 然后开始讲笑话 这里我就需要你来给我写点东西了
I stop, and then I open with some jokes. That’s where I need you.
比如像这样的 我会说：”咳 我才从 加拿大回来 你知道 那儿的人说很多法语”
I’ll say, “I just got back from Canada. They speak a lot of French.
“我记得的唯一的词是‘黑厕所(法语”圣女贞德”的谐音)’ 意思是洗手间里的灯坏(关)了”
The only word to know is John Dark. It means the light’s out in the bathroom.
“噢 我碰到个大块头的伐木工人…” – 天哪 这个家伙可真够戗
I met a big lumberjack. ” – Jesus, this guy’s pathetic.
瞧瞧他那副装腔作势的德行 天哪 还真以为自己超可爱呢
Look at him mincing around. Boy, thinks he’s real cute.
我都要吐了
You want to throw up.
让我以后都不敢讲我自己的笑话了
If only I had the nerve to do my own jokes.
我不知道自己僵在 脸上的微笑还能保持多久
I don’t know how much longer I can keep this smile frozen on my face.
我肯定入错行了 我就知道
I’m in the wrong business. I know it.
我该拿这怎么办呢 嗯?
what will I do with this, eh?
他说：”噢 玛丽 有时你真让我生气 ”
He says, “Oh, Marie, sometime you make me so mad!”
他们那样叫着 给我写点这样的东西 你行吗?
They scream at that. Write me something like that, will you?
带点法国味道的 你能做吗?嗯 小子?
Kind of a French number. Can you do it?
我这是在哪儿? 我一直…我得重新熟悉下环境
Where am I? I have to reorient myself.
这是威斯康星大学 对吗?
This is the University of Wisconsin, right?
因为我到大学里表演 总是令我紧张兮兮
Because I’m always tense when I’m playing a college.
我上大学的记录非常糟糕 我上过纽约大学
I have a bad history with colleges. I went to New York University.
我在纽约大学的第一年就被开除了
And I was thrown out of NYU my freshman year…
原因是我期终考 《形而上学(玄学)》时作弊
for cheating on my metaphysics final.
你知道 我偷看进了 坐在我旁边的那小子的心灵
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
我被赶出来后 我妈妈是一个情绪 很容易激动的女人 把自己锁在卫生间里
My mother, an emotionally high-strung woman, locked herself in the bathroom
吞服了过量的麻将牌
and took an overdose of mah-jongg tiles.
那段时间我郁闷异常 就去看心理医生
I was depressed at that time. I was in analysis.
我有了自杀倾向 实际上 我早就已经自杀了
I was suicidal, as a matter of fact, and would have killed myself…
要不是我的心理医生是个严格的 信奉弗洛伊德学说的人
but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian.
他说如果你想自杀 那么你把 你要错过的那些疗程的钱付了先
And if you kill yourself, they make you pay for the sessions you miss.
艾尔维 你太棒了 不开玩笑
Alvy, you were just great. I’m not kidding.
这简直…你太优雅了 – 大学里的观众就是棒
College audiences are wonderful.
你知道吗?我认为我也开始越来越多地 理解笑话里所指的东西了
You know what? I think I’m starting to get more of the references, too.
是吗?可是十二点的表演 和九点的表演完全不一样啊
Are you? The 12:00 show is completely different than the 9:00.
噢 我真的非常盼望明天 我是说 那会很棒的 你会见到我的母亲和父亲
I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be nice. You’ll meet Mother and Father.
是啊 我知道 他们一看到我就会讨厌我
They’ll hate me immediately.
不 我可不这样想 我一点也不认为 他们会讨厌你 恰恰相反
No, I don’t think they’re going to hate you at all. Contrary.
这是复活节 我们会坐下来一起共进一顿丰盛的晚餐 我想他们会真的很喜欢你的
It’s Easter. We’ll sit down and eat. I think they’ll really like you.
今年的火腿做得不错 妈妈
It’s a nice ham this year, Mom.
噢 是的 奶奶一直做得最好
Grammy always does such a good job.
味道真棒
Great sauce.
是的 不同凡响的火腿
It is. It’s dynamite ham.
我们去了旧货交换会
We went to the swap meet.
安妮、奶奶、和我 弄来些很不错的画(相)框
Annie, Gram and I. Got some nice picture frames.
我们玩得很愉快
We really had a good time.
安妮告诉我们 你已经看了十五年的心理医生
Ann tells us you’ve been seeing a psychiatrist for 15 years.
是的 我正取得极大的进展
Yes. I’m making excellent progress.
不久以后 我躺在医生的睡椅上时 就不用再穿紧身束衣啦
Soon, when I lie down on his couch, I won’t have to wear the lobster bib.
杜温和我去了停船的内湾 – 我们一整天在那儿修补船体
Duane and I went to the boat basin. – We caulked hulls all day.
看到伦道夫·亨特了 还和往常一样喝得醉醺醺的
And Randolph Hunt was drunk as usual.
那个伦道夫·亨特啊 你还记得伦道夫·亨特吗 安妮?
That Randolph Hunt! You remember Randy Hunt, Annie.
他以前和你在同一个合唱队 – 噢 记得
He was in the choir with you. – Oh, yes.
真不敢相信这样一家子
I can’t believe this family.