片名：《安妮.霍尔》
有个老笑话是这样说的
There’s an old joke.
有两位老妇人去卡茨基尔山旅游
Two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort.
其中一个说：”哎 这地方的食物可真够糟的 ”
One says, “The food at this place is really terrible. ”
另一个说：”可不是嘛 给的份量又那么少”
The other says, “I know, and such small portions. ”
你瞧 我对生活的看法基本上也是如此
That’s essentially how I feel about life:
尽管充满了寂寞、痛苦、悲惨和不幸
full of loneliness, misery, suffering and unhappiness
但又觉得一切都逝去得太快
and it’s all over much too quickly.
另一个对我来说比较重要的笑话出自于
The other important joke for me…
格劳乔·马克斯(美国谐星) 一般是这样认为的
is one usually attributed to Groucho Marx
但是我想它最初来自于弗洛伊德的 《智慧以及它与无意识的关系》
but it appears originally in Freud’s Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious.
是这样的 我来简要复述一下
It goes like this, I’m paraphrasing:
我永远也不想加入这样的俱乐部 它的会员是像我这样的人
I never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member.
这是我成年生活的关键笑话 它说明了我和女人之间的关系
That’s the key joke of my adult life in terms of my relationships with women.
你知道 近来我头脑里总有些 奇怪的念头挥之不去
Lately the strangest things have been going through my mind
因为我刚过四十 我想我正经历我一生中的 一个危机 诸如此类的事 我不知道
because I turned 40, and I guess I’m going through a life crisis.
我并不担心变老 我不是那样的人 你知道
I’m not worried about aging. I’m not one of those characters.
当然 我头顶的头发开始变得稀疏 那可能是你可以看到的我最糟糕的方面了
But I’m balding slightly on top. That’s about the worst you can say about me.
我想我是年纪越大状态越佳 你知道
I think I’m going to get better as I get older.
我想我会成为头上光光 阳刚十足的的那种类型 你知道
I think I’m going to be the balding, virile type
而不是 譬如说 满头银发、有款有型的那种
as opposed to the distinguished gray.
也有可能我两种都不是
Unless I’m neither of those two.
弄不好我会变成那样一种人 嘴角哩哩啦啦流着哈喇子
Unless I’m one of those guys with saliva dribbling out of his mouth
手里拎着购物袋 颤颤巍巍走进自助餐馆 口中高呼着社♥会♥主♥义♥
who wanders into a cafeteria with a shopping bag, screaming about socialism.
安妮和我分手了 对此我仍然耿耿于怀
Annie and I broke up, and I still can’t get my mind around that.
我一直想梳理出点头绪 在心里拾掇着我们之间关系的点点滴滴
I keep sifting the pieces of the relationship through my mind
检讨着自己的生活 试图弄明白究竟哪儿搞糟了 你知道
examining my life and trying to figure out where did the screwup come.
一年以前 我们还相爱着 你知道
A year ago we were in love.
有点滑稽 我不是个抑郁的人 我的性格也不乖僻
It’s funny. I’m not a morose type. I’m not a depressive character.
你知道 我以前是个 相当快乐的孩子 我想是的
I was a reasonably happy kid.
我在布鲁克林长大 那是二战期间
I was brought up in Brooklyn during World War ll.
他最近情绪很低落
He’s been depressed.
突如其来地 他不想做任何事情 – 你为什么会情绪低落呢 艾尔维?
Suddenly he can’t do anything. – Why are you depressed, Alvy?
快告诉弗利克医生 可能是他读了什么东西了
Tell Dr. Flicker. It’s something he read.
读了什么东西 呃?
Something he read, huh?
宇宙正在膨胀 – 宇宙正在膨胀?
The universe is expanding. – The universe is expanding?
宇宙代表世间万物 如果它正在膨胀
The universe is everything, and if it’s expanding…
那么总有一天 它会四分五裂 那就会是世界末日
someday it will break apart, and that will be the end of everything.
那和你有什么关系? 他不再做作业了
What is that your business? He stopped doing his homework!
还有什么做头? – 宇宙和作业有什么关系啊?
What’s the point? – What’s the universe got to do with it?
你现在在布鲁克林 布鲁克林没有膨胀
You’re here in Brooklyn. Brooklyn is not expanding!
再过亿万年它都不会膨胀啊 艾尔维
It won’t be expanding for billions of years!
我们应该乘着我们还在这儿 尽情享受生活才对 啊 啊 哈哈…
We’ve got to try and enjoy ourselves while we’re here! Huh?
我的心理医生说我夸大了我童年的记忆
My analyst says I exaggerate my childhood memories…
但是我可以告诉你 我是在过山车下长大的
but I swear I was brought up underneath the roller coaster
它位于布鲁克林的科尼岛那一块
in the Coney Island section of Brooklyn.
或许这造成了我的性格 就是有点神经质 我想
Maybe that accounts for my personality, which is a little nervous.
你知道 我有极度亢进的想象力 我的心思总是跳来跳去
I have a hyperactive imagination. My mind tends to jump around a little.
有时会分不清幻想和现实的界限
I have some trouble between fantasy and reality.
我父亲经营着一家碰碰车游乐场
My father ran the bumper-car concession.
那个就是他 我在这儿
There he is, and there I am.
我经常利用碰碰车来发泄我的进攻性
I used to get my aggression out through those cars.
我也记得我们公立学校的那些老师
I remember the staff at our public school.
你知道有这样的说法 那些干不了啥事的 就去教书
We had a saying, “Those who can’t do, teach…
那些教不了啥书的 就去教体育
and those who can’t teach, teach gym. ”
当然 那些啥事都干不了的 我想 都被派到我们学校来了
And those who couldn’t do anything, I think, were assigned to our school.
我得承认 我一直认为 我的同学都是些白♥痴♥
I must say, I always thought my schoolmates were idiots.
梅尔文·格林哥拉斯 你知道 长着张肥肥的小脸
Melvyn Greenglass and his fat little face.
亨丽埃塔·法雷尔 总是一副”完美小姐”的腔调
And Henrietta Farrell, Miss Perfect all the time.
还有伊凡·艾克曼 从来没答对过任何问题 从来没有过
And Ivan Ackerman, always the wrong answer. Always!
七加三等于九
Seven and three is nine.
那时我就知道他们都是些混球
Even then I knew they were just jerks.
早在1942年 我就开始对女性发生兴趣
In 1942 I had already discovered women.
他吻了我 他吻了我
He kissed me!
这已经是这个月的第二次了 站到这里来
That’s the second time this month! Step up here.
我做错什么了? – 快站过来
What did I do? – Step up here.
我做错什么了? – 你应该为自己的行为感到羞耻
What did I do? – You should be ashamed of yourself.
为什么啊?我只不过表达了一种 健康的异性好奇而已
Why? I was just expressing a healthy sexual curiosity.
六岁的男孩不会对女孩产生好奇
Six-year-old boys don’t have girls on their minds.
我会啊
I did.
拜托 艾尔维 即使弗洛伊德都说有性潜伏期
For God sakes, Alvy, even Freud speaks of a latency period!
可我从没有过性潜伏期 我情不自禁嘛
I never had a latency period. I can’t help it.
你就不能向唐纳德好好学学吗?
Why couldn’t you have been more like Donald?
这孩子是我们的好典型
There was a model boy.
快告诉大伙你现在干啥 唐纳德
Tell the folks where you are today, Donald.
我开了家挺挣钱的服装公♥司♥
I run a profitable dress company.
我经常想知道我同学如今都混得怎样了
Sometimes I wonder where my classmates are today.
我是”平克斯水暖设备公♥司♥”总裁
I’m president of the Pinkus Plumbing Company.
我推销(犹太人用的)披巾
I sell talliths.
以前我吸食海♥洛♥因♥ 现在我离不开美♥沙♥酮♥了
I used to be a heroin addict, now I’m a methadone addict.
我经营皮货
I’m into leather.
大部分老同学我都失去了联♥系♥ 反正我成了喜剧演员
I lost track of most of my old schoolmates, but I wound up a comedian.
他们不让我入伍
They did not take me in the army.
绝的是 我有四个加(?)
I was 4-P.
是的 如果发生战争 我只能变成人♥质♥
In the event of war, I’m a hostage.
你总是把人往最坏处想
You always only saw the worst in people.
你在学校里和任何人都处不好
You never could get along with anyone in school.
你总是和这个世界格格不入
You were always out of step with the world.
即使你已经出名了 你仍然不信任这个世界
Even when you got famous, you still distrusted the world.
我听得清清楚楚 他压低嗓门嘟囔着：”犹太佬”
I distinctly heard it. He muttered under his breath, “Jew. ”
你真疯了 – 没有 我没疯
You’re crazy. – No, I’m not.
我们正往网球场外走 他和我 还有他妻子
We were walking off the tennis court. He was there and me and his wife.
他看了她一眼 然后他们俩一起看着我
He looked her, then they both looked at me
他压低嗓门说：”犹太佬”
and under his breath he said, “Jew. ”
艾尔维 你是个十足的偏执狂
You’re a total paranoid.
我哪儿偏执啦? 我对这类事情是很敏感的
How am I a paranoid? I pick up on those kind of things.
你知道 有一次我想和全国广播公♥司♥的家伙 一起吃中饭 于是我问道:”你吃了吗?”
I was having lunch with guys from NBC, so I said, “Did you eat yet?”
汤姆·克里斯蒂说：”没有 犹太佬(你呢)?” 他不说”你呢?”
Tom Christie said, “No. Jew?” Not “Did you?”
他没说”你吃了吗?” 他说”犹太佬吃了?”你明白吗?
Not “Did you eat?” but “Jew eat?” You get it?
麦克斯… – 别叫我麦克斯
Max – Stop calling me Max.
为什么? 这个名字很适合你 麦克斯 你看什么都像有阴谋
Why? It’s a good name for you. Max, you see conspiracies in everything.
不 我没有 你知道有一次我在一家唱片店 我跟你说
No, I don’t. I was in a record store. Listen to this.
有个高高壮壮的、金发剪得短短的家伙 他用一种奇怪的表情看着我
There’s this tall, blond crew-cutted guy and he’s looking at me in a funny way.
并冲着我笑着说：”对 这个星期 瓦(发德音V)格纳的音乐减价销♥售♥”
He’s saying, “Yes, we have a sale this week on Wagner. ”
瓦格纳 麦克斯 瓦格纳 我知道他到底想说什么
Wagner, Max. I know what he’s trying to tell me.
再明显不过了 瓦格纳
Very significantly, Wagner.
行了 麦克斯 去加利福尼亚吧 麦克斯
Right, Max. California, Max.
离开这疯狂的鬼城市 – 想都别想
Get the hell out of this crazy city. – Forget it.
我们搬到阳光灿烂的洛杉矶去 所有的娱乐业都在那儿 麦克斯
We move to sunny L.A. All of show business is out there.
不 我不愿意 你老是跟我提这个 我可不想住在那样一个城市
You keep bringing it up, but I don’t want to live in a city…
在那儿唯一的文化上的优势就是 你遇上红灯时可以右转
where the only cultural advantage is you can make a right turn on a red light.
好吧 麦克斯 算了 你和安妮的约会要迟到了吧?
All right, forget it. Aren’t you going to be late for meeting Annie?
我和她在”比克曼剧院”门口见 我想我还有几分钟 对吗?
I’m meeting her in front of the Beekman. I have a few minutes left, right?
你上过电视 对吧?
Are you on television?
没有
是的 偶尔吧 个把次
Yeah, occasionally.
你叫什么名字?
What’s your name?
你没必要知道 没什么大不了的
You wouldn’t know it. It doesn’t matter.
你上过强尼·卡森的节目 对吗?
You’re on Johnny Carson, right?
有几次吧 你知道 每…
Once in a while.
你叫什么名字?
What’s your name?
我是罗伯特·雷德福 – 别逗了
I’m Robert Redford. – Come on!
我是艾尔维·辛格 很高兴认识你 非常感谢
Alvy Singer. Thanks very much for everything.
这是艾尔维·辛格
This is Alvy Singer!
伙计 你这是…天哪
这家伙上过电视 叫艾尔维·辛格对吧?我没弄错吧?
This guy’s on television. Alvy Singer, right? Am I right?
饶了我吧 天哪 – 这家伙上过电视
Give me a break. – This guy’s on television.
我真想找根大号♥的马球拐棒
I need the large polo mallet.
谁上过电视? – 这家伙 上过强尼·卡森的节目
Who’s on television? – This guy, on the Johnny Carson Show.
伙计 怎么了嘛 想搞卡车司机 聚会还是怎么着? – 什么节目?
Is this a meeting of the teamsters? – What program?
能给我签个名吗? – 你不会要我签名的
Can I have your autograph? – You don’t want my autograph.
不 我想要 给我女朋友的