不结婚的女人（1978）

过来
Come here.
过来这儿，亲爱的
Come here, honey.
打电♥话♥给 菲尔 并告诉我他我很抱歉
Call Phil and tell him I’m sorry.
告诉他可以过来这儿，我们可以办个派对
Uh – tell him he can come over. We can have an orgy.
也许他还在不高兴
Maybe he’s got a friend for me.
你的约会怎么样?
How was your date?
我的约会? 哦
My date? Oh…
我们吃了点心，我差点被强♥奸♥
We had dim sum. I was almost raped.
他性骚扰你了? – 是的
He made a pass? – Yeah.
我觉得那没有什么出奇的
I don’t see what’s wrong with that.
你开始听起来像那个男人了
You’re beginning to sound like my date.
你没事吧? – 是的，我没事
You okay? Yeah. Fine.
你呢?
How about you?
给菲尔打电♥话♥
Call Phil.
好的
Okay.
我很害怕，我被吓坏了
I’m – I’m afraid. I’m frightened, you know.
嗯 – 我从来没有这么害怕过
Mm-hmm. – I’ve never been afraid of anything…
这辈子
Before in my life.
当我还小的时候-
When I was little, I was –
我不知道，也许
I don’t know. I was afraid of –
我害怕把衣服弄脏了,或者 你懂
that I was gonna get my clothes dirty, or – you know,
考试成绩不好之类的
that I was gonna get bad marks on my report.
嗯
Um
我害怕第一次来月经
I was afraid when I got my period for the first time.
你知道吗，我，我来例假的时候
You know, I – well, I got my period when I was, uh –
我第一次来月经的时候是13岁
when I was 13, you know.
而我大部分朋友-
And most of my – well…
而我大部分朋友- 我最好的朋友-
Some of my friends – well, my best friend –
我最好的朋友Karen Fienstein
my best friend was Karen fienstein,
她第一次来月经的时候是12岁
and she got her period when she was 12, you know.
我总是害怕有问题，因为我没来例假
So, I thought there was something wrong with me, because I didn’t get my period.
所以在12到13岁这段时间里我总是心惊胆战的 你懂吗
So, I had a terrible year from 12 to 13. You know, I mean, I –
我总是害怕自己是不是有什么问题
I thought there was really something wrong with me.
每次我去卫生间
You know, every time I went to the bathroom,
我总是检查,
I would sort of, you know – check and see if I –
看一看 – 看自己是否来了月经
go look. – Yeah. If I got my period.
然后，突然 I-
And…
我当时正穿着 带白色蕾丝花边的内♥裤♥
Suddenly, I – I was wearing these dumb little white lace panties,
我外婆送给我做生日礼物的
you know, that my grandmother had given me for my birthday or something.
然后
And, um…
突然我感觉到
Suddenly I felt this, like,
这种又湿又热的感觉在我的裤子里面
wet, warm feeling in my crotch, you know, and…
然后 – 我感觉非常激动
Then… I felt sort of… excited, you know.
然后我又开始感到害怕
But then I felt afraid.
我害怕
I was afraid. I was afraid
我的血将会流淌到整个椅子上
that was I going to get blood all over the chair,
流淌到整个内♥裤♥里
all over my pants.
然后上课铃响了，大家都下课了
Then the bell rang, and then the class got up,
我看着Karen
and then I saw Karen, you know.
我对她笑着，挥着手
And I smiled, and I winked at her, and I – went like that.
她走过来说 “你笑什么呢?”
And she came over. She said, “what are you smiling about?”
我说, “我想我来了 ” 然后她说, “哦，我的天啊!”
And I said, “I think I got it.” She said, “oh, thank god.”
我不知道为何我要跟你讲这些
I don’t really know why I’m telling you all this.
我觉得这件事没什么关系- – 好的
I mean, it doesn’t really –
好吧
well…
那是非常令人害怕的时刻，
Those are very scary moments, and –
你小时候对此事思考甚多，这很自然
and you think a lot about that when you’re a kid. It’s natural.
那么现在如何呢?
And what’s happening now?
所有事情都不一样了 我现在没有办法
Everything seems very different. I’m – I’m not able to…
预见接下来会发生什么
Know what’s gonna happen.
我以前对生活有一种直觉
You know, before I had a sense that…
觉得生活会往前继续延伸，然后- – 是的
Life would go on, and… – Yes.
现在每天我都不知道自己走向何方 – 是的
Now, it’s like every day is like, “whew!” Yeah.
我不知道会发生什么事情，也不知道如何去控制他们
What’s gonna happen? And I don’t know how to control it, and I don’t know –
我不知道
yeah. – I don’t know…
我不知道应该怎么做 你的生活整个被打乱了
I don’t know what to do. – Your whole life has been disrupted,
相当混乱
discombobulated.
现在新的生活开启了
And it’s a new life right now.
我能怎么办? 你不能替我遭受这些对吧 ?
I mean, what can you do? You know, you can’t live my life for me, can you?
当然我不可能 这是你的生活
No. No. I certainly can’t live your life for you. It’s your life.
不过我可以跟你一起去
But what I can do is to explore it with you
探寻你的生活中发生着什么
and see what’s happening now in your life.
是的
Yeah.
你现在的混乱感觉将会清除
Maybe the confusion that you’re feeling now will clear up.
我肯定会的
I’m pretty sure it will.
我想现在开始你最好每周来两次
I think right now would be a really good idea if you came twice a week.
不过很快我们就可以减少为一周一次
But very quickly, we’ll move into once a week.
因为相对于在这里讲述你的生活，
Because it’s a lot more important what you do out there,
在外面经历生活更为重要
than what you do in here.
本顿在1点钟过来 1:00 你好 本顿
Mr. Benton would like to meet at one ‘o clock.
你好 本顿先生
Hello, Mrs. Benton.
嗨
Hi.
看到你真好，我很高兴你致电 让我接过你的大衣
It’s good to see you. I’m glad you called. Let me have your coat.
你看起来好极了 – 我担心 帕蒂
You look terrific. – I’m worried about Patti.
她非常生你的气
She’s very angry at you.
她有理由这样
Yeah. Well, she’s got a right to be.
我在看一个心理医生，我也想让她看看你
I’m seeing a therapist, and I want her to see her too.
医疗费用很贵 – 没有问题
It’s expensive. – That’s all right.
我会支付的 – 很好
I’ll – I’ll take care of it. – Good.
那就行了 – 那个医生叫什么名字?
Well, that’s settled. – Who’s the – who’s the therapist?
她叫Tanya Berkel
Ah, her name is Tanya berkel.
女医生 – 我不认为Tanya是个男人名字
A woman? – I don’t know any men named Tanya.
嗯，那很好。我想那很好。
Well, that’s good. I think that’s – that’s good.
我很高兴你认为很好
Good. I glad you think it’s good.
你很恨我吧?
You really hate me, don’t you?
是的 – 我完全不恨你
Yeah. – I don’t hate you.
哦，你真是一个富有同情心的男人啊, 马丁
Oh, you were always a very compassionate man, Martin.
请等一下 -你怎么能恨一个爱了16年的人？我不-
Now, wait a minute. I – how can you hate somebody that you were in love with
这很简单
for 16 years? I don’t – – It’s easy.
如果你想让我变得更加自责 – 你成功了
If you’re trying to make me feel guiltier than I already do, good job.
很好 这太荒谬了
Good. – This is ridiculous.
为什么我们要谈论这些?
Why are we having this conversation?
马丁, 你知道我们做过多少次爱吗?
Martin, do you know how many times we made love?
不知道 – 我不想谈这些
No. – No, I don’t want to get into that.
我要告诉你，至少2000次
I wanna tell you. At least 2,000 times.
一周两次，一共16年 你应该做一个笔记
That’s counting twice a week for 16 years. You should put it up on your ticker tape.
我认为这是一项非常有趣的统计
I think it’s a very interesting statistic.
我想知道一些事
I wanna know something.
你是不是厌倦了我的肉体
Did you fall out of love with my – my flesh, my body…
或者是更喜欢艾丽卡的? 你是为艾丽卡而嫌弃了我吧?
Or me – with Erica? Did you fall out of love with Erica?
等一下，我并没有嫌弃你
Wait a minute. I didn’t fall out of love with you.
我爱你
I – I love you.
现在情况是变了，但是我爱你-
I mean, all right, it’s different now, but I –
我爱你，我们在一起那么多年是不能抹消的
I love you. I can’t just erase all those years.
– 我一直都爱着你 – 我就是你的妓♥女♥, 马丁
I’ll always love you. – I was your hooker, Martin.
我是一个高级妓♥女♥
I was a bright, high-priced, classy hooker.
上东区的妓♥女♥，但是…
Upper East Side by way of vassar hooker, but…
我就是你的妓♥女♥
I was your hooker.
你的心理医生不怎么样
You have a lousy shrink.
你认为你和Marcia将会持续多久?
How long do you think marcia’s gonna last?
我要和她结婚
Well, I’m gonna marry her.
婚姻真是太神圣了
The awesome sanctity of marriage.
听着，如果你想坐在这里跟我谈话聊天，那很好
If you want to sit here with me and have a conversation, that’s great.
我也想那样，不过如果你想要跟我吵架
I’d like to do that. But if you want to have an argument,
那你最好离开 – 我就是想要吵架!
I think you’d better leave. – I want to have an argument!
你是一个轻率的人
You’re flippin’.
打电♥话♥给帕蒂
Call Patti.
我从来没有傲骨，这是最大的问题
I never had any self-esteem. That was the trouble.
我以为外表就能搞定
I suppose I thought looks would do it.
我告诉你 爱上自己是一件很好的事情
Well, I’ll tell you. It is a nice feeling to like yourself.