谭恩美：意外的回忆录（2021）

I could make a living doing that.
我可以以此为生。
The telling moment for Amy and her mother
对恩美和她母亲来说，
was when we were on vacation in Hawaii,
最感人的时刻是我们在夏威夷度假时，
she got a phone call from her brother.
她接到了她哥哥的电♥话♥。
He said that Mom had just had a heart attack
他说妈妈刚刚心脏病发作，
and this sounded like a life-threatening situation.
这听起来像是危及生命的情况。
As I went to a phone booth to call the hospital,
当我走到电♥话♥亭给医院打电♥话♥时，
I was sure it was too late.
我知道已经太晚了。
As I waited to be connected,
当我等待与之通话时，
I made a vow to God and whoever was listening,
我向上帝和当时所有在听的人发誓，
if my mother lives,
如果我母亲还活着，
I will get to know her.
我一定要去了解她。
I will ask her about her past.
我会询问她的过去。
And this time, I’ll actually listen to what she has to say.
这一次，我真的要好好听她要说了什么，
Why, I’ll even take her to China.
为什么这么说，我甚至还想把她带回中国。
And yes, I’ll write stories about her.
是的，我会写关于她的故事。
All at once, I heard my mother’s voice,
突然，我听到了妈妈的声音，
“Amy.”
“恩美。”
“Oh, Mom, are you okay?”
“哦，妈妈，你还好吗？”
“Yes, fine, fine.”
“是的，很好，很好。”
“Listen, I thought you had a heart attack, I thought…”
“听着，我以为你心脏病发作了，我以为…”
My mother cut me off with a huff.
我母亲生气地打断了我的话。
“Heart attack? No, no, no, no.”
“心脏病? 不，不，不，不。”
“I go to fish market and the fishmonger,
“我去鱼市，那个鱼贩
he tried cheating me,made me so mad.”
试图欺骗我，让我很生气。”
“All sudden, I got a pain in my chest, hurt me so bad.”
“突然间，我胸口一阵疼痛，疼得厉害。”
“So I drive to Kaiser Hospital.”
“所以我开车去了凯撒医院。”
“Turn out, I have angina caused by stress.”
“原来，我得了紧张引起的心绞痛。”
“So, you see, that fishmonger,he wrong, stressed me out.”
“所以，你看，那个鱼贩，他错了，让我很紧张。”
– Buy something like this.- What is it?
-还买♥♥这样的东西。 -什么?
That’s fish.
那条鱼。
After I hung up,I heard a voice saying,
挂断电♥话♥后，我听到一个声音说:
“Hey, don’t forget now,you promised.”
“嘿，别忘了，你刚许过愿的。”
I started to ask her about her life.
我开始询问她的生活。
And I listened,instead of saying,
我听着，没有像以往那样说:
“I’m really busy now, I can’t… I can’t listen to you.”
“我现在真的很忙，我不能…不能再听你絮叨了”
I would listen to everything.
我宁愿听每件事情。
And that profoundly changed everything,
这彻底改变了一切，
I wasn’t fighting it anymore.
我不再与之抗争。
And I learned a lot by simply being quiet
通过保持安静和认真倾听，
and actually listening.
我学到了很多。
Remember you used to want to go back to China to live?
还记得你以前想回中国生活吗?
– Yeah. – Why?
-记得。 -为什么？
Because you two are not treat me good,
因为你们两个对我不好，
John and you.
约翰和你。
I want to go back and have a servant and live alone… quiet.
我想回去找个保姆，一个人住…安静。
At about that time,
大约在那个时候，
Amy really started writing
恩美真正开始写作
as a mental health break from all of the business work
是为了从她正在做的所有商业工作中获得
that she was doing.
精神上的休息。
While Amy was writing these stories,
当恩美在写这些故事的时候，
she would frequently sit down
她经常会坐下来，
and just let her mother tell her life story.
让她的母亲讲述她的人生故事。
Okay. No, if I wrote her…wrote him,
好的。不，如果我给她写信…给他写了,
your father… I didn’t say I want to come to United States.
你父亲…我没说我想来美国。
No, communists… going to come
不,共♥产♥党…马上就来，
– but… what I… I can do. – What month was that?
-但是…什么我…我能做的。 -那是几月份？
– That’s… – My dad and my mother
-那是…-在我们成长的过程中，
never told us about their lives in China
爸爸和妈妈从来没有告诉过我们
when we were growing up.
他们在中国的生活。
And then later in the years,she finally said,
几年后，她终于说:
“You have sisters in China.”
“你在中国有姐妹。”
And I said, “What? Sisters? what do you mean, sisters?”
我说:“什么?姐妹吗?你这是什么意思，姐♥妹♥们♥?”
Yeah, she told us that we have three past sisters.
是的，她告诉我们我们有三个过世的姐妹。
I was just kinda, like,dumbfounded.
我只是有点，目瞪口呆了。
Like, what? I… I don’t know…
就像，怎么说？ 我…我不知道…
What are their names and how old are they?
他们叫什么名字，多大了?
Where have they been living?
他们一直住在哪里?
That kind of information took a while to figure out.
这种信息要花点时间，才能弄明白。
Amy and Lou and Mom went back to China
恩美，卢和妈妈回中国
to go visit the family.
探望她的家人了。
Yeah, look where we are,we’re in Shanghai.
是啊，看看我们在哪儿，我们在上海。
We went to China so Amy could really get
我们去了中国，这样恩美就能真正接近
close to Amy’s mother’s history and family.
恩美母亲的历史和家庭。
We’re on the train on our way to Qingdao.
我们在去青岛的火车上。
It doesn’t get any better than this.
没有比这更好的了。
This is the front of Communist martyrs hotel.
这是共♥产♥党先烈宾馆的正面。
Piano that accompanied the building of the hotel, I guess.
我想，这架钢琴一定也伴随着这座建筑。
– Come on. – Come on.
-算了吧。 -接着弹。
After that, they decided to see
那之后，他们打算看看
if any of the siblings would want to come to America.
有没有什么姐妹，愿意去美国。
– Amy? – Yeah.
-恩美？ -是的。
I’m so glad to see you today, Amy.
很高兴今天见到你，恩美。
Next time, I may stay longer,but I’m afraid you’re too busy.
下次我可能待久一点，但恐怕你太忙了。
How about this picture?
这幅照片是怎么回事？
Oh, it’s our Mom.
哦，这是我的妈妈。
When she was a kid.
她小的时候。
When mom was little?
妈妈还是个小孩？
So this is 鈥渒id Mom鈥?
这就是个小妈妈？
– Yeah. – How about this one?
-是的。-这位又是谁？
That’s your grandma.
那是你的外婆。
– This is her? – Yeah.
-这就是她吗?-是的。
– Looks so young! – Uh huh.
-看起来很年轻!-嗯嗯。
– So this girl is Mom? – She’s your Mom.
-这个女孩就是妈妈? -她是你的妈妈。
– She’s your Mom, too. – She is my Mom and our Mom.
-她也是你妈妈。 -她是我的妈妈，也是我们的妈妈。
Yes. Oh, that picture is good.
是的。哦，那张照片很好。
I didn’t understand until I was an adult
我成年后才明白
what she meant by sacrifices.
她所说的牺牲是什么意思。
They were all that she had left behind in Shanghai,
这是她留在上海的所有东西，
where she’d had a life of privilege,
她在那里过着优越的生活，
starting from the age of nine
从9岁起，
when her widowed mother married the richest man
她寡母嫁给了上海的外岛上
on the island outside of Shanghai.
最富有的人。
She went from being the honorable widow
她从一个穷学者的
of a poor scholar
体面寡妇
to a wealthy man’s fourth wife,
变成了一个富人的第四任妻子，
one of his concubines.
他的一个小妾。
One version of clan history,
一个版本的氏族历史，
cast her the victim of a rape by the rich man,
把她塑造成一个被富人强♥奸♥的受害者，
which resulted in pregnancy.
并导致怀孕。
To teach her husband a lesson,
为了给丈夫一个教训，
she swallowed opium.
她吞下了鸦♥片♥。
“She had only meant to scare him,”
“她只是想吓唬他。”
my mother explained.
我的母亲解释说。
“She died by accident.”
“她是意外死亡的。”
But there were a few times
但有几次，
when she acknowledged that her mother killed herself
她承认她的母亲自杀，
because, “She could not take it anymore.”
是因为“她再也无法忍♥受了。”
Sometimes she felt the same,she would say.
她会说，有时她也有同样的感觉。
She was about 18, here,
她当时大概18岁，你看，
and I think to judge by how innocent she looks,
我想，从她看起来有多天真来判断，
it was before she married
在她嫁给她所谓的
who she called “that bad man,”
“那个坏男人”之前，
a pilot who was supposed to marry her stepsister,
一个本该和她同父异母姐姐结婚的飞行员，
the man threw that woman over to marry my mother
那个男人抛弃了那个女人，娶了我母亲，
because she was beautiful.
因为她长得漂亮。
This is when you were 18?
这是你18岁的时候吗?
– Eighteen, Chinese age is 20. – Yeah.
– 18岁，中国人20虚岁。 -是的。
– Maybe 19. – You wore a white dress?
-也许19岁。 -你当时穿了条白色裙子？
Yeah.
是的。