谭恩美：意外的回忆录（2021）

我们去好莱坞参加首映礼的时候，
my mother was there.
我妈妈也在。
And I was a little afraid of what was going to happen
我有点害怕接下来会发生什么，
because there were scenes in that movie that were
因为电影里有一些场景
based on what had happened to her as a little girl.
是根据她小时候的经历改编的。
– Yeah.- Watching her mother die.
-是的。 -看着她妈妈死去。
And the lights come up,end of the movie,
电影结束时，灯光亮了，
everybody’s crying.
所有人都哭了。
And I look at her,and she’s clear-eyed.
我看着她，她的眼睛很清晰。
And I said, “Are you okay,
我说:“你没事吧?
I mean, was that too sad or too harsh?”
我想问她，这是不是太悲伤或太残酷了?”
She goes, “Oh, no,” you know,
她说:“哦，不，”你知道，
“everything in China are so much worse, this already better.”
“（旧）中国的一切比这差多了，电影中已经好多了。”
And I thought, okay.
我想，那就好吧。
One of the things for Amy is that early success
对恩美来说，早期的成功是如此巨大，
was so huge that she had to feel, well, now,
那么现在，她不得不考虑一件事，
how do you follow that?
如何使之继续下去?
Was it scary to follow up a hit
延续《喜福会》这样的成功，
– like The Joy Luck Club? – Um, scary isn’t the word.
-是不是很可怕? -呃，不能说是可怕。
I think it was more like near-death throes.
我觉得更像是濒死的痛苦。
After I wrote The Joy Luck Club,
写完《喜福会》后，
I was stuck.
我被困住了。
I made probably seven starts at a novel
一本小说我写了大概七次开头，
and abandoned them all.
然后全部放弃了。
Meanwhile, my mother is saying,”Write my true story.”
与此同时，我妈妈说:“写我的真实故事。”
She had read The Joy Luck Club,
她读过《喜福会》，
but she knew it was fiction.
但她知道那是虚构的。
She wanted to be able to tell…”Yeah, this is my story.”
她想要能够讲述出来……“是的，这就是我的故事。”
And I said, “You know, Ma, it’s not how fiction is written.
我说:“你知道吗，妈妈，小说不是这样写的。
It’s not really about true stories and…”
它不是真实的故事，而且…”
But when I got stuck,I thought,
但当我陷入困境时，我想，
you know, “What is the reason for me to write this?”
你们也想知道，“我写这些东西的原因是什么?”
It’s really to understand myself
真正的目的是，了解我自己以及
and how I came to have these thoughts.
我是如何产生这些想法的。
And it’s also to give my mother a gift
也是为了给我妈妈一个礼物，
that I was really listening.
让她知道，我真的在认真听。
So I said that’s what I’m gonna do.
所以，我说我要这么做。
That man. Wicked man.So bad, you know.
那个人。邪恶的人。太恶劣了，你知道的。
And have to cheating people to marry him you know,
还得骗别的姑娘嫁给他，
like this or the… not,’cause I’m the marriage,
就像这样不是，因为我还和他有婚姻关系，
the other one’s not marriage,it’s a relationship.
另一个不但没有任何婚姻，而且乱搞的关系。
Somebody believe him, you know.
你知道吗？有些女孩子居然相信了他。
She loved the idea she was helping me, to write.
她想要让我，把她跟我讲的想法，写出来。
You know, she’d call me up at different hours of the day to…
你知道，她会在一天的不同时间给我打电♥话♥…
“I have something else to say.”
“我还有话要说。”
And she’d go on for an hour,and I said, you know…
她会这样讲下一个小时，最后我说，你懂的…
I didn’t want to get her upset…
我不想让她生气…
but I said, “I have to get some work done.”
但我说:“我还有别的事情要做。”
“Oh, okay, okay.”
“好吧，好吧，好的。”
Must be something you don’t want to
他一定使用了你想不到的手段
– lure her to give a sex scene. – Mm-hmm.
-来引诱她进行一场性♥爱♥戏。 -嗯，嗯。
He one time… he wanted three to sleep together like this,
他有一次……他想要三个人像这样睡在一起，
– I told you before, huh? – Mm, mm-hmm.
-我之前告诉过你，对吧? -嗯，嗯-嗯。
And then I refused.
我立即拒绝了。
“I remembered the many nights he used my body
“我记得有多少个夜晚，他在和另一个女人
after he had already been with another woman.”
搞完后，还要拿我的身体泄欲。”
“He even brought a woman right to our bed
“他甚至把一个女人带到我们的床上，
and forced me to watch.”
强迫我旁观。”
“Of course, I did not,
“我当然没有去看，
but I could not shut my ears.”
但我无法闭上耳朵。”
You can see when I talk I’m angry, all right?
你看我说话的时候很生气，对吧？
That angry never get out.
这种愤怒永远不会消褪。
“So many years gone by,
“这么多年过去了，
and still the anger can never come out completely.”
但愤怒永远无法完全发泄出来。”
“You can hear this in my voice.”
“你可以从我的声音里听出来。”
I’m the one, unfortunately,like this used like a machine.
不幸的是，我就是那个像机器一样被利用的人。
“That bad man was using my body.”
“那个恶人在利用我的身体。”
“Every night he used it as if I were, what? A machine!”
“每天晚上他都用它，好像我是——什么?一台机器吗!”
《灶神之妻》作者：谭恩美 1991年
So you’ve, you’ve done it.
所以你已经做到了。
You’ve finished book number two.
你已经完成了第二本书。
– Finally.- My next guest’s
-终于。 -我的第二位嘉宾的
second novel,The Kitchen God’s Wife,
第二本小说，《灶神之妻》，
is still number one on the New York Times
在《纽♥约♥时♥报♥》畅销书排名中
bestseller list this week.
这周依然位居榜首。
It has been for the last seven weeks.
已经连续七周了。
Please welcome Amy Tan.
有请谭恩美。
Her second novel looks as though it’s gonna be
她的第二部小说看起来会比
an even bigger smash than the first book.
第一本书更受欢迎。
“I’ve told you about the early days
“我告诉了你我婚姻
of my marriage so you can understand why I became
早期的状况，这样你就能理解，
weak and strong at the same time.”
为什么我同时变得，既弱又强。”
What else struck you, Amy,about your mom’s upbringing?
恩美，你对你妈妈的对你的教养，还有什么印象?
Was it the repression that she experienced?
是她所经历的压抑吗?
It, it was repression. It was…
这是一种压抑。这是…
but it was also her strength that she never gave up.
但永不放弃，也是她的力量。
Even though she lived in a society that
尽管她生活的社会，
offered her no choices,
没有给她选择，
that gave her unbelievable sorrow,
只带给她难以置信的悲痛，
she somehow could find a strength and rise above that.
但她总能找到一种力量，并从中崛起。
I couldn’t speak English at all.
我一点儿都不会英语。
Couldn’t read A, B, C, D.
都不会念A, B, C, D.
Chinese Americans are becoming
华裔美国人
an increasingly dynamic and visible element
在商业、科学、艺术和文学方面，
of American society in business, science,
正在成为美国社会中日益活跃和
the arts,and literature.
可见的因素。
We have the views of novelist Amy Tan who was born…
我们有小说家谭恩美的观点，
The Chinese American community, uh,
她出生在华人社区
has been a great success in North America.
在北美取得了巨大的成功。
So when you started writing,did you feel that suddenly
当你开始写作时，你有没有突然觉得，
you were responsible, somehow,to the history of, you know,
你要对你们在美国的同胞，负有一种
your people in the United States,
历史的责任，
if such a thing is possible?
如果这样做，是有可能的话？
Well, first, let me say that when I…
首先，允许我坦言…
when I think about “your people,”
当你说“你们的同胞”时，
I think of myself as being an American as well.
我自己想到的是，我们都是美国人。
And so “your” includes both being Chinese and American,
而且，你说的“你们”既包括了华人，也包括了美国人，
or Chinese-American,or whatever.
或者说是美籍华人，无论怎么称呼。
I didn’t seek to be a politician.
我并没有想要成为一名政♥治♥家。
I didn’t seek to be a representative
我并不想成为整个
of a whole community of people.
华人社区的代表。
I just hope to write some good stories.
我只是希望写一些好故事。
And yet, when I was given this mantle
然而，当我被赋予
of speaking for the Asian-American community,
代表亚裔美国人群体发言的重任时，
suddenly, there were these expectations.
突然之间，人们产生了这些期望。
I started getting a lot of criticism.
我开始受到很多批评。
Some said I did it wrong,
有些人说我做错了，
that I had created stereotypes,
因为我创造出了一个模式，
and pander to those mothers speaking in broken English,
迎合了那些英语讲得很糟糕的妈妈们，
or concubines who had killed themselves,
或者曾经企图自杀过的姨太太们，
you know,these were stereotypes.
你要知道，这些都是模式化的东西。
“The chapter opens with language highly reminiscent
这一章开篇的语言，很容易让人联想到
of fortune cookie wisdom,
幸运饼干（中餐馆里一道甜食）的智慧、
Charlie Chan aphorisms,and the kind of
陈查理（小说里的虚构华裔形象）的格言，以及
Taoist precepts scattered throughout
在林语堂的《唐人街家族》(1948年写的小说)
“Lin Yutang’s’Chinatown Family.'”
中的道家箴言。’”
“Tan inscribes Kwan with the linguistic exoticism
“谭恩美赋予关（素媛扮演者，越南裔）语言上的异域风情，
that could only stem from an outsider’s ears.”
只有知根知底的人才能听懂。”
“Tan’s success hinges on her ability to revive
“谭的成功在于她有能力复活
Orientalist tropes as if she rejects them.”
东方式的隐喻，就好像她拒绝别人一样。”
“Amy Tan opens her Joy Luck Club
“谭恩美在《喜福会》的开篇