神探飞机头（1994）

他们整天问我雪花的事
They’ve been asking me about Snowflake all morning.
他是什么人
Who’s he?
这是普罗杰 这是范杜拉
Roger Podacter, meet Ace Ventura.
他是我聘请的宠物侦探
He’s our pet detective.
幸会 梅玛莎小姐极推荐你的
Nice to meet you. You came very highly recommended by Martha Mertz.
梅玛莎
Martha Mertz?
噢 对 那条母狗
Oh, yeah, the bitch!
什么
Waht?
北♥京♥狗 在高原公园失踪
Pekingese, lost in Highland Park area.
我找到它时半死不活的
She was half-dead when I found her.
那是水池吗 失陪了
Is that the tank? Excuse me.
-警方放干的 -是 今早
– Cops drain it? – Yes, this morning.
如果我五分钟内不回来
If I’m not back in five minutes…
那再多等一会
just wait longer.
队长日志 星际日期23 9
Captain’s log, stardate 23.9, rounded off to the nearest decimal point.
我们重回过去 拯救一古生物
We’ve traveled back in time to save an ancient species from annihilation.
目前尚没海洋生物痕迹
So far…no signs of aquatic life,
但无论如何 我定要找到它
but I am going to find it.
如果我不能 再替宇宙其它的分心
If I have to tear another black hole,
是因为我要去找它
I’m going to find it!
我必须如此
I’ve got to, mister!
好极了
Oh, great!
我会出去阻止他们过来
I’ll try to head them off.
王牌 快出来吧
Ace, get out of the tank.
不行 队长
I just can’t do it, captain!
我已没能量了
I don’t have the power!
你马上出来吧
I said, get out of the tank now!
我只是个医生 不是洗池工人
For God’s sake, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a pool man!
雪花在何处
Where’s Snowflake?
暂时不能与大家见面
Snowflake is not available right now.
不能见面 我都等了一整天了
Not avaliable? Roger, I’ve been waiting all day.
我一定要拍到它的新闻
I got to get a shot of his new trick in the evening news!
它是否病了
What, is he sick?
拉茜一定是失踪了
Lassie must be missing.
喂 范杜拉
Hey, Ventura. Ventura.
最近有否侦破大案件
Make any good collars lately?
还扔是普通案件
Or were they leashes?
谋杀案 范杜拉
Homicide, Ventura.
你打算如何侦破此案
How are you gonna solve that one?
问得好
Good question, Aguado!
首先 我会先找出犯案动机
First, I’d establish a motive.
这案子 凶手因妒死者老二太大
The killer saw the size of the bug’s dick and became insanely jealous.
然后 你会慰籍凶手太太
Then I’d lose 30 pounds porking his wife!
深深一吻 请求原谅
Now, kiss and make up!
对不起 我有问题问你
Excuse me.I’d like to ass you a few questions.
这不是合适的时间 王牌
This is not the time, Ace.
如果艾路丝下来看见 我便死定
If Einhorn come down here and see me talking to you or your ass, I’m history.
你必需告诉我雪花一案谁负责
I can keep him under control. You have to tell me who’s on the Snowflake case.
我帮不了你 太多限制
I can’t do nothing for you on that. My hands are tied.
现在到我问了
All right, that’s it! Now it’s my turn!
我只需五分钟独处
Five minutes alone, that’s all I need!
快装得很忙样子 艾下来了
Better look alive. Einhorn’s on her way down.
快点 求求你
Come on, now. Ace, please.
什么事 怕我放屁吗
What’s that matter? Afraid I’ll make a stink? Come on!
阿瓜多负责那案的 这下行了吧
Aguado’s working the case, all right?
阿瓜多
Aguado!
阿瓜多 说的好
Aguado! Good call!
看 我们现在很忙
We’re just a little busy now…
有命案 劫案和毒犯要应付
with murderers and burglaries and drug dealers. Things like that.
海豚失踪不算是大案
A missing dolphin isn’t exactly a high priority.
现在你令他生气了
Now you’ve pissed him off.
你饶了我
Would you give me a break?
我无法再控制他
I can’t hold him much longer!
我上司来了
My boss is coming!
好吧
Okay, look.
我们已查过动物权益组织
We ran a check with local animal-rights groups.
也查过标本店和租车公♥司♥
We checked out the taxidermists and we already checked on van rentals.
到目前为止 仍没有线索
So far, nothing, nathin’, nada. All right?
有没有不寻常的外♥围♥投♥注♥
Any unusual bets being made?
当然有 这是超级杯嘛
Of course! This is Super Bowl!
在那水池有何发现
What’d you find out about the tank?
没什么特别的
Nothing unusual ok.
一些轮迹 逃走路线
Tire tracks, an escape route.
和一个什么也没看见的守卫
A guard didn’t see anything.
-仅此而已 -仅此而已 我发誓
– That’s it? – That’s it. I swear.
趁我未惹上麻烦
Now will you please get out of here
请快走
before I get in trouble?
谢谢你的合作 另外
Thank you for your cooperation.By the way,
你有薄荷糖吗
do you have a mint?
奸人糖呢
Perhaps some Binaca?
我的妈
Holy testicle Tuesday!
他怎会在此的
What the hell is he doing here?
我来自首
I came to confess.
我是刺杀肯尼迪的另一枪手
I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.
少废话 我知你在查雪花一案
Spare me the routine. I know you’re working the Snowflake case.
我建议你把它交由专家处理
May I suggest you yield to the experts on this one?
我们会找到这海猪
We’ll find the porpoise.
我深感如释重负
Now I feel better.
当然 那或许无补于事
Of course, that might not do any good.
没人失去海猪 被偷的是海豚
Nobody’s missing a porpoise. It’s a dolphin that’s been taken.
普通海猪是大牙齿
The common harbor porpoise has an abrupt snout…
而长鼻海豚是圆尖齿
while the bottle-nosed dolphin, or Tursiops truncatus…
这是两种截然不同的牙齿
has an elongated beak, cone-shaped teeth and a serrated dorsal appendage.
当然 你已全知道这些
But I’m sure you already knew that.
你令我心动的便是这点
That’s what turns me on about you.
你真是观察入微
Your attention to detail.
你听着 宠物鸡♥巴♥
Listen, pet dick…
要否要我把你的生活变成炼狱
how would you like me to make your life a living hell?
我并不是真的想和你谈恋爱
Well, I’m not really ready for a relationship, Lois.
但谢谢你提出
But thank you for asking.
或许改天给你电♥话♥
Maybe I’ll give you a call sometime.
你的电♥话♥仍是911 好吧
Your number still 911? All right then.
对不起 格雷在吗
Excuse me. Is Greg here?
谢谢你
Thank you!
密♥码♥是什么
What’s the password?
新英格兰鱼汤
New England clam chowder.
汤是红色的还是白色的
Is that the red or the white?
我忘了
I can never remember that!
白色
White?
胡士托
Hey, Woodstock!
圣方济 你好吗
Hey, Saint Francis, how’s it going?
很好 谢谢关心 希望你也是
Super, thanks for asking. I hope you’re having a lovely day.
是吗
Do you?
还有假的
Don’t I?
你在做什么 猛丁哥
So what are you up to?
只是看鱼
Just watching the fishies.
看见那些吗 那是挪威捕鲸队
You see those blips? That’s a Norwegian whaling fleet.
我发给他们新的方位座标
I’m sending them new directional coordinates.
他们一定会找到屈原
They’ll find Jimmy Hoffa…before they find any whales.
妙 你可否进入
Gravy! So can you still tap into
海洋物品买♥♥卖♥♥资料库
the aquatic supply stores in the area?
当然可以 什么事
Of course I can. Why?
查看近日
I wanna trace the sale of any…
购入运送海豚装置记录
equipment for transporting or housing a dolphin within last a few months.
我还以为有什么挑战
Come on, I thought you had a challenge for me.
海洋绳索 二万加仑的大鱼缸
All right, we got marine winch, sling, feeder fish, 20,000-gallon tank…
等等 你看
Wait a minute. Look here.
对一个平民来说 真不简单
That’s a lot of equipment for a civilian.
哇 可是个百万富翁
Ronald Camp? The billionaire?
亦是罕有鱼类收藏家
Billionaire and rare-fish collector.