录取通知（2006）

如果你们不告诉别人
It would be really cool
我尖叫的声音原来是这样的 我会非常感激
if you guys wouldn’t tell people I scream like that.
# 我们百无聊赖
# Had an atomic bore
# 在2004年
# In 2004
#我们拼命搞怪
# Did some atomic tricks
# 在2006年
# In 2006
准备，推
Ready，set，go.
哇!好了
Whoo! All right.
嗨，格伦.
Uh，whoa，Glen.
嘿，B.
Oh，hey，B.
你在这里干嘛呢，伙计？
What are you doing here，buddy?
罗莉告诉我的
Rory told me about it.
你在干什么？我们得保守秘密
What are you doing? We were gonna keep this place a big secret.
可是他没有别的地方可去
But he didn’t have any place to go.
他被便利店开除了
He got fired from the Kwik ‘N Stop.
真的？他们为什么开除你？
Is that true? Why’d you– Why’d you get fired?
因为我把虾做成了虾泥
I got fired for making a shrimp slushee.
哦，真恶心
That’s disgusting. See?
你为什么这么做
BARTLEBY: Why would you do that，pal?
因为我饿了，还有点渴
‘Cause I was hungry and thirsty.
哦，老天
Oh，God.
# 我们百无聊赖
# Had an atomic bore
# 在2004年
# In 2004
# 我们拼命搞怪
# Did some atomic tricks
# 在2006年
# In 2000
# 五，七
# Five，seven
# 九
# Nine
# 我们百无聊赖
# Had an atomic bore
# 在2004年
# In 2004
# 我们拼命搞怪
# Did some atomic tricks
厨房♥烂透了
This kitchen is bitchin’!
这里是卫生间…
And this’ll be the bath…
关门
SCHRADER: Close the door.HANDS: Shit!
关门
Close it!
#我们百无聊赖
# Had an atomic bore
#在2004年
# In 2004
#我们拼命搞怪
# Did some atomic tricks
#在2006年
# In 2006
#我们出发太晚
# Got out way late
# 在2008年
# In 2008
# 我要再试一次
# I’m gonna do it again
#哦，耶，耶#
# Oh，yeah，yeah，yeah #
从这里出发到功成名就还很遥远
STU: It takes 10,000 steps to get from here to greatness.
千里之行
And this right here,
始于足下
this is step one.
祝你好运，儿子
Good luck，Son.
安布罗斯先生 你知道为什么哈蒙是一所著名的大学？
VAN HORNE: Mister Ambrose，do you know what makes Harmon a great college?
拒收
Rejection.
一所学校的好坏
The exclusivity of any university
取决于它所拒收的
is judged primarily by the amount of students
学生数目
it rejects.
不幸的是，最近几年
Unfortunately，for the last few years,
我们所拒收的学生数目
we have been unable to match the amount of students
远比不上耶鲁，普林斯顿，甚至斯坦福
that Yale，Princeton，or even Stanford rejects,
主要原因是硬件上的局限性
primarily because of our physical limitations.
但这一切都将改变了
But all that is about to change.
耶鲁有一个 普林斯顿也有一个
Yale has one，Princeton has one.
现在哈蒙学院也将拥有一个
And now Harmon College will have
久负盛名的入口大道
the prestigious entranceway it deserves.
青翠的草坪区
A verdant buffer zone
容纳知识，排除无知
to keep knowledge in，and ignorance out.
这是个很好的主意，先生 – 没错
That is a great idea，sir. Yes，it is.
现在，安布罗斯先生
Now，you，Mr. Ambrose，are chairman
作为学生会外联部的主席
of the Student Community Outreach Committee.
我要你去联♥系♥这些临近社区的
I need you to secure all these decrepit properties
陈旧建筑的主人
in the neighboring community.
以便能够拆除它们来腾出空间
So that we can demolish them to make room
建造范霍恩大道
for the Van Horne Gateway.
大家瞧
You know what?
看上去真的不错
This actually looks like the real deal.
我不想过份乐观
Guys，I don’t want to be too overly optimistic,
但我想这应该能行
but I think this could work.
看上去非常专业，喂？
It really looks professional. Hello.
嘿，孩子，你在哪？
Hey，kid，where the hell are you?
哦，我在… 听着
Oh，I’m，uh… Listen.
我又去看了学校主页
I took another look at that website.
怎么上面竟是废话套话？
What’s all this “be what you want to be” crap?
不不，老爸，他们只是必须写这些东西
No，no，Dad，they just– they just have to say stuff like that
以免遭到起诉
just to keep from being sued.
听上去的确是狗屁不通
Yeah，well，sounds like a bunch of crap to me.
我想见见你们的院长
Glen，go long. Set up a meeting with the dean.
院长? – 老天!
The dean? Jesus. Mother of hell!
大学总该有个院长的，对吧？
Your college does have a dean，doesn’t it?
我没事! – 当然，当然有院长
I’m good! Yes，of course the college has a dean.
可是老爸，你知道他很忙的
Dad，you know，he’s a busy guy，though，you know,
他可不能随随便便的就跟家长见面
he can’t just，uh，set up a meeting with parents.
听着，我付学费了，就有权利见院长
Listen. If I’m paying for it，I’m meeting with the dean.
我必须确认你接受的教育和我一样，真正的教育
I want to make sure you have the same education I did. A real education.
早餐8：00 – 等等，老爸，我不能，我不能，该死！
Dinner’s at 8:00. Wait，Dad，Dad，Dad，I can’t– I can’t… Aw，shit.
我得把这个角上修正一下
I gotta trim this corner right here. I think I got poisoned.
怎么了，B? – 我有个小麻烦
What’s up，B? We got a little problem.
什么？ – 刚刚谁打的电♥话♥，巴特比?
What? Who was that，Bartleby?
我们得去找个院长
We gotta find a dean.
生活中要分清楚想要的和需要的
In life，it’s important to distinguish between need and want.
你认为你想要某样东西，那是因为你以为可以得到
You think you want something because you’ve been conditioned to want it.
我要Pump（锐步球鞋）！
I want the Pump!
我们没有Pump！
I don’t got the Pump.
看看 我们有蒂姆·邓肯（NBA球星）的阿迪达斯系列
Look，oh，I got the Tim Duncan Adidas Cool-D’s.
我要Pump!
I want the Pump!
听着，你这个傲慢无礼的小屁孩！
Listen，you insolent little snot,
此刻在亚洲，很多小孩正在为你缝制该死的鞋
there are kids right now in Asia who are sewing your stupid shoes together,
好让家人今晚能吃上晚饭
so that their family can have a bowl of rice to eat tonight!
这是个馊主意
This is the worst idea of all time.
你叔叔本曾经是个天才
Your Uncle Ben used to be a genius.
他一定成 – 妈妈！
He’ll be fine. BOY: Mom!
你做什么了？
WOMAN: What did you do?
都是你惯坏了这个孩子
You’re the one who emotionally crippled the kid.
你知道吗？也许他有弱智
You know what? Maybe he’s retarded.
真高兴我妈已经死了
I’m glad my mother’s dead.
他只是过的不太顺心
He’s just having a bad day.
哦，老天
Oh，my gosh.
你想让我当你学校的院长？
You want me to be the dean of your college?
不，我只是想让你假装院长
No，I want you to pretend to be the dean.
只要一天
It’s just for one day.
也许谢尔曼忘了告诉你
Uh，perhaps young Sherman didn’t share this with you.
我已经退休了，我不再教学生了
I’ve retired，I’m no longer a shaper of young minds.
真的？
Oh，really?
是的，确切地说，他是被开除了
Yeah，well，technically，he was fired.
那不是事实，我受够了教育界的这一套
That’s not true. I got fed up with the education racket.
所以我退出了
So I quit.
我发辞呈了
I did send in my resignation
以一种非正常的方式
in a rather unorthodox fashion.
没错，你给院长寄了一包狗屎
You sent the dean of the university a bag of dog shit.
这是一种比喻 – 表示什么？
It was a metaphor. For what?
表示：“你就是一陀狗屎！” 哦
For “You’re full of shit!” Oh.
这不是比喻 – 这就是比喻
That’s not a metaphor. That’s a metaphor.
或者暗喻，隐喻
Oh，semantics，schmantics.
三年以前我就厌倦了这一套东西
Three years from now，I’m finished with this crap.
我要去巴布亚新几内亚 我不干了
I’m goin’ to Papua New Guinea. I’m outta here.
你要去哪里？
Wh-Where– Where you going?