录取通知（2006）

你知道吗？
You know something?
为了大众的安全，我也不能让你去开公交车
For the safety of the public，I can’t let you drive a bus.
太好了 但是记住
Sweet. But listen to me.
这只是权宜之计
This is just a temporary stopgap measure，okay?
明白吗？ – 明白
Nothing more. Gotcha.
太棒了，伙计们 你们俩
Bravo，guys. Great. Both of you guys.
我们可以先伪造一个学校 然后就可以开个毒品加工厂了
Let’s start this fake college. And then we’ll go start a meth lab somewhere.
这就是犯罪的开始 – 什么？
BARTLEBY: Come on. It’s a gateway crime. What?
犯罪就是这样开始的
That’s how these things start.
你知道吗，施瑞德
You know something，Schrader,
你可以上一所好大学
you got into a great college.
前程似锦
And your future’s lookin’ really good,
我很为你感到骄傲，因为你是我最好的朋友
and I’m psyched for you，pal，’cause you’re my best friend and I love you.
我只是想让你帮我一个小忙
I’m talking about me coming to you，asking for your help.
做好这个网页
Just finish the damn website.
求你了
Please.
怎么样？
What do you say?
这就对了 好吧
There he is! Fine.
离我远点，你这个白♥痴♥
Get off me，you idiot.
但我们需要一些诸如教学目标什么的
But we need some sort of，like，mission statement or something.
你老爸肯定要看，我了解他，他很难缠
Your dad’s gonna want to see that. I know him，he’s a hard-ass.
嘿，孩子们，亲爱的！
Hey，kids. Honey!
嗨，你好吗
Hey. Hi. How are you? Hey.
这是什么？
JACK: What’s this?
南哈蒙理工学院？ 这是什么？
South Harmon lnstitute of Technology? What’s that?
嗯？看看
Mmm? What’s that?
这是本地区最受尊敬的大学之一
One of the most respected schools in the area，that’s what that is.
上面说什么？
Well，what’s it say?
我得先打开看看
I gotta open it first.
快点哦
DlANE: Come on，hurry.
哦，我很紧张
Oh. I’m nervous.
“亲爱的巴特比，
“Dear Bartleby,
“祝贺你，你被录取了！”
“congratulations，you’ve been accepted!”
我被录取了!
I got in!
啊！感谢上帝 – 我被录取了
Aw，thank God. Thank God. I got in!
哦！老天
Hey-o! Oh! God!
亲爱的 – 我没事
Honey. I’m okay.
太棒了
Hey，this is great!
太令人激动了
It’s so exciting!
南哈蒙理工学院是什么大学?
What the hell is South Harmon lnstitute of Technology? Yeah.
是哈蒙学院的姊妹学校之一
Oh，it’s one of Harmon College’s sister schools.
我从没听说过
I’ve never heard of it.
因为姊妹中最小的一个
Well，because it’s the baby sister.
也是最严谨，保守的一所
It’s the most discreet and unharmed of the sister schools.
你有关于这所学校的资料吗？
You got any literature on this place?
它有自己的网站，我给你看网址
Yeah，there’s a website，I’ll show you the link.
你成功了 你是个大学生了
You did it. You’re a college boy.
哇
Wow.
你们想吃点么？
So you guys want to eat? GlRL: Yeah.
嗨，我恨我的生活
Hey! I hate my life.
我是个大除草机
I’m a huge tool.
玩得高兴
Have fun being hot.
巴特比!
Bartleby!
老爸，怎么了
Hey，Dad，what’s up?
我看了网站
I took a look at that website.
哦
Oh.
酷
Cool.
看上去不像真的
It looks unreal.
假的？
Unreal?
是啊，难以置信
Yeah，it looks pretty unbelievable，huh?
看上去像是个很棒的大学
It seems like a solid place.
真的
Really?
给你
Here you go.
第一学期的学费一次付清
First semester’s tuition. Paid in full.
太棒了
That’s great.
哇，谢谢你老爸
Wow，thank you，Dad.
哦，对不起
Oh，sorry. Sorry.
谢谢，老爸
Thanks，Dad.
你妈和我等不及要把你送出去读书了
Your mother and l can’t wait to drop you off.
我们需要做的是在哈蒙学院附近租一个地方
What we need to do is lease a place near Harmon
这样才能骗父母相信
so we can fool our parents. Yeah.
施瑞德，你知道哈蒙学院附近有什么地方可以租的么？
Hey，Schrad，do you know any places up near Harmon we can rent?
是的，我知道
Oh，yeah，I do，actually.
我总是随身携带废弃房♥屋清单
I carry around a list with me at all times
专门用于伪造大学用
of abandoned buildings for fake colleges.
伙计，我已经给你们开了一个银行户头
Dude，I started you guys a bank account already.
你还想怎么样？让我当你的房♥地♥产♥经纪人？
What do you want me to be，your realtor?
嗨，伙计们，好啊
Oh，hey，guys. What’s up?
好啊，格伦?
Hey，what’s up，Glen?
嗨 嗨，格伦
GLEN: Hey. Hey，Glen,
你什么时候开始在便利店工作了？
when did you start working at the Kwik ‘N Stop?
从我被所有的大学拒收时开始
Since I got boned，hard，by every college I applied to.
怎么了？
Why，what happened?
因为政♥治♥原因
Some political crap.
我SAT（Scholastic Assessment Test：美国高考） 考试得零分.
I got a zero on my SATs.
你只要在考卷上签个名
You know you get 600 points
就能得到600分，不是吗？
just for signing your name，right?
好了，谈正事
All right，let’s get serious，man.
怎么去找一个看上去像大学的地方
Now，where we gonna find a place to pass off as a college?
嗨，伙计们，我知道一个地方
Hey，guys! I know a place.
你怎么知道这个地方的？
HANDS: How’d you know about this place?
我曾经在这里当过志愿者
RORY: I used to do volunteer work here.
这地方太棒了
SCHRADER: This place is awesome.
我终于可以得上肝炎了
‘Cause now I can finally get hepatitis.
一鸟在手（谚语：比喻既得利益）
BARTLEBY: A bird in the hand，dude. A bird in the hand.
这是什么意思
SCHRADER: That doesn’t make any sense.
这是一种说法
BARTLEBY: It’s a saying. SCHRADER: What?
是未雕琢的钻石
A diamond in the rough.
但愿你们都有意外伤害保险
Hope you guys have hobo-stab insurance.
太棒了，垃圾的诞生地
SCHRADER: Great. The birthplace of crack.
太棒了
BARTLEBY: Hello，beautiful.
嘿，伙计们，别进去
Hey! Hey，guys，don’t go in there.
这属于擅自闯入
This is breaking and entering.
施瑞德，别怕
Schrader，come on. Don’t be scared.
谁怕了？ 我才不怕，是你怕了
Who’s scared? I’m not scared. You’re scared.
施瑞德 你不想尝尝Dr.Pepper（软饮料）的新口味？
Schrader，you were scared to try the new flavor of Dr Pepper.
这是我们俩的秘密，汉兹
I told you that in confidence，Hands.
施瑞德，你换牙的时候也害怕
Schrader，you were afraid when your tooth fell out,
因为你害怕那个同性恋牙医
because you were terrified of the tooth fairy.
这种害怕很正常
That’s actually a legitimate fear.
她一直盯着我
She was rifling through my shit.
随便你，那你就呆这里吧
Okay，Fine，whatever，dude，stay here.
好的，我会的
Fine. I will.
好了，说真的
Okay，guys，seriously,
我可不想一个人呆着 墙上开始淌血了
I don’t want to be here alone when the walls start to bleed.
我们不用整个翻新
BARTLEBY: We don’t have to renovate the whole place.
只要对某些关键部位修正一下
We just have to focus on essential areas.
要整理大厅，走廊
We got the–the main lobby. Hallway.
宿舍 宿舍，没错
Dorm rooms. Dorm rooms，exactly.
我觉得这方法可行 太棒了
I think this could really work. Huh? It’s awesome!
帮我拿一下 好
Can you hold that? Yeah.
只要我们想做，再做些体力活
Guys，a little can-do attitude，some elbow grease,
比如施瑞德的一个微笑
maybe a smile from Schrader.
就像整理自己的房♥间一样
It’s like cleaning up your room，you know?
欢迎来到南哈蒙理工学院
Welcome to the South Harmon lnstitute of Technology.
太棒了 一个好的开端
HANDS: Atta baby. The beginning of good things.
是的
RORY: Yeah.
施瑞德，怎么回事？
Schrader，what the hell was that?
呃，真丢脸
Um，this is embarrassing.
你不是在开玩笑吧
Are you kidding?