林中漫步（2015）

就您的旅程来说 背着这种怪物级背包最合适了
For your purposes, cannot go wrong with this monster.
好吧 多钱 ?
All right, how much is it?
这个卖♥♥289
This one here is 289.
你肯定是在逗我… 哦 好吧
You’ve got to be shitting… Oh, okay.
我知道您想的是啥
I see what you’re thinking,
不过等走上小道 您就该感谢我了
but out on the trail, you’re gonna thank me.
你也想一起 ?
Are you coming?
您还需要块挡雨布
You’ll need a rain cover too, of course.
– 挡雨布 ? 为啥 ? -为了挡雨
-A rain cover? Why? -To keep out the rain.
– 背包不就是放防水的么 ? – 不是100%
-The backpacks aren’t waterproof? -Not ‘I 00%.
防雨布重4.6盎司
The rain cover weighs four point six ounces.
您知道一个容量是85公升的
You know how much weight it
全防水背包会增加多少重量么 ?
would add to fully waterproof an 85-liter pack?
我可以告诉您 很多很多
Well, I’ll tell you. It’s a lot.
而且别忘了…
Let’s not forget…
哦 让我猜猜 是为了
Oh, let me guess, in case
自己能做点即兴园艺 ?
you want to do a little impromptu gardening?
不 您该知道有句俗话
No. You know the saying,
叫”只带走记忆 只留下足迹”
“Take only memories, leave only footprints.”
粪便
Poop.
– 原来如此 – 是的
-Oh, shit. -Exactly.
我觉得你该看完这些有趣的-
Thought you’d End these interesting-
某弗吉尼亚男子刚刚独自远行出门一周
A Virginia man’s remains left undiscovered for 18 days
就因为身体不适而死亡
after he suffers a catastrophic medical condition
遗体在18天后才被找到
just one week into his solo trek.
最普遍的污染源主要来自
Most commonly spread through
生病的动物的口水 尿液 粪便
infected rodent saliva, urine, and feces,
蒸发到空气里了
which become airborne particles…
不少执法人员对近期的这些
Several law enforcement personnel have expressed concern
杀手的可怕本性深感不安
about the gruesome nature of these latest murders,
特别是看到肢解和残忍♥仪式之后
including dismemberment and ritualistic savagely.
决不允许你单独前去
You are not doing this alone.
我是布莱森
This is Bryson.
你愿不愿意跟我去闲逛下 ?
How would you like to join me for a little stroll?
这是个呼吸新鲜空气的好机会
It’s a chance to grab some fresh air,
而且好处还远远不止
while there’s still some left.
研究显示美国人需要多走走路
You know, studies show Americans need to walk more.
我们的先祖 去哪都用走的
Our forefathers, they walked everywhere.
能让你在接下来6个月都有事可做
It’ll give you something to do for the next six months.
感兴趣的话就给我回电
Let me know if you’re interested.
狂犬病 发狂的臭鼬 浣熊 和松鼠
Rabies, crazed skunks, raccoons, and squirrels,
无情的大蚂蚁 和乌黑的水牛蚋
merciless Ere ants, and ravening blackfly.
毒藤 毒漆树 毒橡树
Poison ivy poison sumac, poison oak,
毒蝾螈 甚至是麋鹿乱撞
poison salamanders, even a scattering of moose?
布莱森 就一句话 这辈子都不去
Not in this lifetime.
我真希望我能去 比尔
I wish I could, Bill,
可是现在连穿衣服
I barely have enough energy
就够我累的了
-to get dressed in the…
下次有真正有意思的再叫我
Next time, call me for something fun.
比如结肠镜检查什么的
-Like a colonoscopy.
比尔 我觉得你肯定被人盗用了身份
Bill, I think you’ve been the victim of identity theft.
我收到了段荒唐到家的留言
I got the most ridiculous message
他居然宣称…
-from someone claiming…
比尔 你知不知道
Bill, you know you can see the
在网络上观看这段旅途连4分钟都用不了 ?
whole trail online in less than four minutes?
知道么 你不该去找丹·巴基的
You know, you can’t count Dan Budge.
死讯可跟拒绝不是一回事
Dying is not the same as saying no.
我们之前得到过消息么 ? 关于丹的死讯 ?
Did we know about that? About Dan’s death?
嗯 我记得珍妮丝在圣诞卡里提到过
Yeah, I think it was in Janice’s Christmas card.
哦 怪不得接到我的邀请后她会那么愤怒
Well, that explains why she was so miffed about my invitation.
在茶几上
lfsintheH_
你好 ?
Hello?
哪位 ?
Hello?
嘿 是我
Hey it’s me.
哪位 ?
I’m sorry?
布莱森 是我卡茨
Bryson, it’s Katz.
– 你是卡茨 ? – 嗯
-it’s Katz? -Yeah.
– 斯蒂芬 ? – 对
-Stephen? -Yeah.
哇哦
–Whoa.
你在美国 ?
You’re in the States?
对 对 你在哪呢 ?
Yeah, yeah. Where are you?
我在得梅因 还能在哪 ?
I’m in Des Moines. Where the hell else would I be?
哦 真高兴能听到你的声音
Well, it’s good to hear your voice.
嗯 嘿道格跟我说
Yeah. Hey Doug told me
你打算去阿帕拉契山径远足
about this Appalachian Trail deal of yours.
你真的要去 ?
Are you serious about that?
对 我真要去
Yes, I’m very serious.
你看我跟你去怎么样 ?
You think maybe I could come with you?
你要跟我去 ?
You wanna come with me?
嗯 要是成问题 我也能理解
Yeah, if it’s a problem, I understand.
– 不 不 不 不 – 你不想我一起的话我也理解
-No, no, no, no. -I mean, I understand if you don’t want me.
没这事 我♥干♥嘛不想你一起 ?
No, why… Why wouldn’t I want you?
因为 你知道的 我在欧洲欠了你600块
Because, you know, I still owe you 600 bucks from Europe-
呃 那都是四十年前的事了 斯蒂芬
Well, that was forty years ago, Stephen.
嗯 不过我还是想还给你
Yeah, but I still intend to pay you.
嗯 我就知道你言而有信
Well, I know you’re good for it.
啊 太好了
Ah, great, great.
那 你身体状况怎么样 ?
So, what kind of shape you in?
呃 挺好 这些日子我去哪都是用走的
Well, I’m in good shape. I walk everywhere these days.
真的 ?
Really?
嗯 自从那些王八蛋收了我的驾照之后
Yeah, since the bastards took away my license.
呃…
Um…
那 你跟熊的关系怎么样 ?
So, how are you with bears?
嗯 它们还没把我吃了
Well, they haven ‘t gotten me yet.
呃 你该知道第蒙河周围
Well, you know there can’t be a black bear within
1500英里以内是没有黑熊的 卡茨
1,500 miles of Des IVloines, Katz.
我就是那个意思 老兄 那些混球知道保持距离
That’s what I’m saying, man. Those fuckers keep their distance.
你绝对猜不到刚才谁给我来了电♥话♥
You’ll never guess who just gave me a call.
不 不 不行 斯蒂芬·卡茨绝对不行
No, no, no. Not Stephen Katz.
不行
IVlmm-mmm.
你说过我不能独自去
You said I couldn’t go alone.
可至少你得找个能靠谱的吧
Well, presuming you were going to get somebody responsible.
你甚至都不了解他
You don’t even know him.
我听过那些故事 他不是酗酒问题吗 ?
Well, I know the stories. Didn’t he have a drinking problem?
我们都酗过酒
We all had drinking problems.
你俩在欧洲的时候不是以吵架结束的么
Well, you two ended up on each other’s nerves in Europe.
不是 我们是以吵架开始
No, no, no, no. We started out on each other’s nerves.
然后以互相鄙视收尾
We ended up despising each other.
你很清楚我不想这样 对吧 ?
You know I hate this, right?
亲爱的 我真不觉得
Sweetheart, I really don’t
你有什么可担心的
think you have anything to worry about.
那是 除了我丈夫神经错乱地跑进树林
No. Just my husband wandering off into the woods,
搞不好会残疾或被杀
surely to be maimed or killed
或者感染上某些可怕寄生疾病
or contract some ghastly parasitic disease which,
如果幸运的话 他还能坐在轮椅上度过余生
if lucky, will leave him propped up in a chair,
口水还一直流到衣服上
drooling into his own bib.
不过没啥可担心的 毕竟
But there’s nothing to worry about, because of course
我才是那个
I’ll be the one expected
需要站在你的身边喂你吃药的人
to stand by your side, feeding you ice chips
直到你因为这种无名疾病而终 然后呢 ?
until you capitulate to this unnamed malady, and then what?
我还得站在教堂里发表讲话说
I get to stand in front of some gaudy church saying,
“他是个好丈夫和好父亲”
“He was a loving husband and father,
“曾被认为是个聪明人”
“Once considered to be a man of reasonable intelligence,
“结果后来的事实却证明他”
“Since revealed to be nothing more
“不比疯子和蠢货好多少”
“Than a daft and utter fool.”
我听不到可真是遗憾
Well, it’s a shame I won’t be there to hear it.
听着 我理解你的担忧
Look, I know what this seems like, okay?
你真的有从头到尾好好思考过么 ?
Have you actually thought this through at all?
当然没有
Of course not.
莱巴嫩机场欢迎海角航♥空♥公♥司♥飞机106号♥
Lebanon Airport welcomes Cape Air Flight 106.