私人战争（2018）

肢体被切断
Limbs severed,
泥土 石块 还有血肉四处散落
dirt and rock and flesh torn alike.
一旦你眼见过 对于人类肢体脆弱性的
The knowledge of the fragility of the human body
认知就萦绕于你 阴魂不散
never leaves you once you’ve seen…
一旦你目睹过
Once you’ve seen
人体在灼热的炮弹面前不堪一击
how easily flesh can be rent by hot bits of metal.
一旦你看见过
Once you’ve seen…
操
Fuck.
你好 这里玛丽
Hey. It’s Marie.
如果你想留消息请直说
Leave a message if you want.
尽管我从没有检查过消息
Although I never actually check this.
事实上 这和平常一样
It’s just as well, to be honest.
我现在忙着做政♥治♥领域
I’m up to my neck in politics
而且我们需要关于欧元复苏的报道
and we need to report on the recovery of the euro.
忘掉那个吧 我们做关于百人坑的
Forget it. Go with the mass grave.
她从巴格达回来后你和她真的交流过吗
Have you actually spoken to her since she got back from Baghdad?
当然交流过
Of course I have.
这放到周日头版可是很严重的
It’s pretty grim for a Sunday front page.
是的 它算挑衅吗 当然
Yeah. Is it provocative? Yes.
当人们看到这些凄惨的百人坑时
Will it make people choke on their cornflakes
会因此窒息吗 当然
when they’re reading about these poor sods? Yes.
我们要报道这场胜利 让欧元滚他妈的
We’re onto a bloody winner. Fuck the bloody euro.
听着 我这周末没法去看你了
Listen, I don’t think I can come and see you all this weekend.
哦 我真的很想让你见见克洛伊
Oh, I really want you to see Chloe.
她已经差不多开始走路了
She’s almost started walking.
可是我刚刚又看到那个女孩了
And I just saw that girl again.
谁
Who?
那个孩子死气沉沉的尸体
That child’s lifeless body.
我无法把它赶出脑袋
I can’t get it out of my head.
我无法把它赶出脑袋 丽塔
I can’t get her out of my head, Rita.
哪个孩子 玛丽 玛丽
Which child, Marie? Marie?
那个总是在我床上的女孩
The girl who’s always on my bed.
还来 操 还来 操
Oh, go on, fuck off. Go on, fuck off.
就告诉肖恩别他妈打我电♥话♥了
Just tell Sean to stop fucking calling me.
我想一个人待着
I wanna be alone.
行行 好的
Right, okay.
不会再打了
Done.
玛丽 我们现在能谈谈了吗
Marie, can we talk now, please?
如果你把板抓紧
If you hold the sheet steady.
你已经逃避这个对话好几个月了
You have been avoiding this conversation for months.
你觉得你是不是有 你知道
Do you think you might have, you know,
创伤后应激障碍
post-traumatic stress disorder?
没有
No.
只有士兵才会得创伤后应激障碍
PTSD is what soldiers get.
得了吧
Come on
咱俩都知道只是目睹撞车也可能得它
we both know you can get it from just witnessing a car accident.
我认为你应该找人谈谈
I think you need to talk to someone.
我没疯 丽塔
I’m not crazy, Rita.
我没说你疯了
I’m not saying you’re crazy.
肖恩没胆子和你唱反调
Sean doesn’t have the balls to stand up to you,
因为你是他的摇钱树所以他不敢 但
or he doesn’t want to because you’re his prize pig, but…
你现在状态不对
You’re not well.
我们只是想让你得到帮助
We just want you to get help.
感谢你让我来参观
Thanks for letting me come and visit.
如果你来到这种地方却没他妈的发疯
If you’re not fucking crazy when you come into a place like this,
那你出去肯定会
you definitely will be if you get out.
所以这是你长大的地方吗
So is this where you grew up?
是的 那是长岛北岸
Yeah, that’s the north shore of Long Island.
牡蛎湾
Oyster Bay.
就是不繁华的那部分
Not the ritzy part.
这是谁 你男朋友吗
Who’s this? Your boyfriend?
不是 那会很诡异 那是我爸爸
No, that’s creepy. That’s my dad.
抱歉
Sorry.
玛丽 当那些破事发生的时候
Marie, when bad shit happens
你的脑子就会短路
your brain goes into shock.
它 它会把创伤留在你产生情绪的地方
It… It locks the trauma in the same place you process emotions,
而那里本不是记忆应该留存的地方
which isn’t where memories are meant to live.
所以你才会觉得它发生在当下
That’s why it feels so present.
你是因此才离开军队的吗
Is that why you left the army?
不 我是被军事法庭审判
No. I was court-martialed.
在我的柜子里放了些大♥麻♥才出来的
Planted some hashish in my locker to get out.
你用了多久才感觉好些的
How long did it take you to get better?
一个长得操蛋的时间
A long bloody time.
玛丽 你见过得战争比
Marie, you’ve seen more war
大部分士兵还多
than most soldiers.
你必须认真对待
You have to take it seriously.
你想来心理呓语吗
You want psychobabble?
好吧 那我和你说说 我
Right, I’ll give it to you. I…
我曾经非常敬仰我的父亲
I really looked up to my father.
他去世时我倍受折磨
I was tormented when he died
因为他从来不理解一个事实
because he never understood the fact
那就是我也可能有属于自己的观点
that I might have opinions of my own.
我爱我的母亲 但和她在一起也很难受
I love my mother, but I struggle with her
因为我绝无法安生地做个郊区的家庭主妇
because I can never be the suburban housewife
过一个稳定得操蛋的一生
in the safe fucking life.
我努力节食 因为不想长胖
I diet fiercely because I don’t wanna get fat,
可我也亲眼见过许多人在这世上忍♥饥挨饿
but I also have seen so many people in the world go hungry,
所以 我 我喜欢吃
so I… I like to eat.
我啊
I, um…
我想当个妈妈 就像我姐姐那样
I wanna be a mom, like my sister
但我已两次流产
but I’ve had two miscarriages
恐怕只能接受永远当不了妈妈的事实
and I have to accept the fact that I might never be that.
我害怕变老
I fear growing old.
但我也恐惧英年早逝
But then I also fear dying young.
当伏特加 马丁尼充斥大脑我会很幸福
I’m most happy with a vodka martini in my hand,
但除非我♥干♥了一夸脱的伏特加
but I can’t stand the fact that
否则我脑子里就不停地吵闹交谈不肯安静
the chatter in my head won’t go quiet
而这让我难以忍♥受
until there’s a quart of vodka inside me.
我憎恶待在战区
I hate being in a war zone.
但我却也觉得不得不
But I also feel compelled,
不得不亲自去看一看
compelled to see it for myself.
因为你为它上瘾了
Because you’re addicted to it.
没事
You’re all right.
没事
You’re all right.
抱歉
Sorry.
没关系
It’s all right.
这是允许的
It’s allowed.
你说我的父亲像谁
Who did you say my father looked like?
– 你觉得怎么样 – 很适合你
– What do you think? – Suits you.
黑色意外地看上去过于严肃了
Yeah, well, black seemed so grim suddenly.
你 呃 你要再来些花吗
Do you, um… Do you need some more flowers?
谢谢 这很贴心
Thank you. That’s very sweet of you.
伊♥拉♥克♥ 阿富汗 布莱尔 布♥什♥
Iraq, Afghanistan, Blair, Bush.
现在 我们尽力去报道所有
Now, we’re struggling to cover it all.
– 谢谢 – 谢什么
– Thank you. – Thank you for what?
谢谢你努力去奉承我
For trying to flatter me.
我不是来这里奉承你的
I didn’t come here to flatter you.
我来这看看你怎么样
I came here to see how you’re doing.
也是来 嗯
And to, um…
你可以随意说想说的
You can speak freely.
我和保罗在伊♥拉♥克♥就熟了
Paul and I became quite close in Iraq.
能让我们单独谈谈吗 保罗
Can you give us a moment, please, Paul?
当然
Sure.
你还好吗
Are you okay?
我们很想你 玛丽
We miss you, Marie.
你有上天赐予的才华
You have a God-given talent
去阻止人们 让人们去关心
to make people stop and care.
你觉得你十年后会是什么样 肖恩
Where do you see yourself in 10 years, Sean?
还没想过
Haven’t really thought about it.
别这么虚伪 诚恳一点
Don’t be English. Be honest.