给我的烂笑话
Bad jokes for me
你有吗 达斯地
You got one, Dusty?
我有一个 拉夫地,-说来听听
I got one, Lefty. – Let’s hear it.
上帝创造女人时
When God created woman
他给了他们三个咪♥咪♥ 不是两个
He gave her not two breasts but three
中间那个有点碍事
When the middle one got in the way
上帝就动了手术
God performed surgery
女人站在上帝面前
Woman stood before God
手里拿着中间那个咪♥咪♥
With the middle breast in hand
问说 我该怎处置
Said, “What do we do”
这个没用的咪♥咪♥呢
“With the useless boob?”
上帝就拿来创造了男人
And God created man
烂笑话
Bad jokes
真爱死了
Lord, I love ’em
喔 大 奶,-烂笑话
Bad jokes – Oh, great, boobs.
哈 有何不可,-永远不嫌多
Can’t get enough of ’em – Ha. Why not?
咪♥咪♥ 屁屁 都来啊
Ooowhee – Tits, ass, bring it on.
越多越好啊
The more the merrier. – Bad jokes for me
咪♥咪♥怎样
What about boobs?
他么在唱首关于咪♥咪♥跟屁屁的歌♥
They’re singin’ a song about boobs and poop…
什知道呢 有何不可呢
and who knows what? Hey, why not?
把整个节目毁了吧
Let’s just wreck the whole show.
我想..
I guess…
我们 喝杯酒吧
Let’s… let’s have a drink.
大醉一场 如何
Let’s get snockered. What do you say?
有个年轻的裸女
When a beautiful young naked woman
站在一群人前
Stood up in front of the group
他愿意跟他们疯狂做♥爱♥
She offered Gramps some super sex
但他回答 我宁可喝汤
And he said, “I’ll take the soup”
烂笑话
Bad jokes
真爱死了
Lord, I love ’em
烂笑话
Bad jokes
永远不嫌多
Can’t get enough of ’em…
孩子们 结束了
Oh, kid. It’s over, kid.
他们要结束了
They’re pullin’ the plug.
再来一个吗
You ready for another one?
好啊
Yeah, lay it on me.
欧力去隔壁参加舞会
Ole went to the neighborhood dance
赢到大奖
And he won the big door prize
是个马桶刷
It was a toilet brush
他带了回家
And he took it home
隔周有个人问
And the next week one of the guys
欧力 马桶刷如何
Said, “Ole, how’s that toilet brush?”
那个赢来的奖品
“The one you won from the neighbors?”
欧力说 还不错啊
Ole said, “Oh, it works pretty good”
但我宁可要卫生纸
“But I prefer toilet paper”
烂笑话
Bad jokes
真爱死了
Lord, I love ’em
烂笑话
Bad jokes
永远不嫌多
Can’t get enough of ’em
喔伊
Ooowhee
给我个烂笑话
Bad jokes for me
农夫养只冠军牛
The farmer had a champion bull
一年交♥配♥200次
Who bred 200 times a year
他老婆说 200次啊
The farmer’s wife said, “200 times?”
真是太棒了 亲爱的
“Isn’t that wonderful, dear?”
或许你该跟他好好学学
“Maybe you ought to watch him”
或许他会教你点什么
“Maybe he’ll show you how”
农夫说 他是只公牛
The farmer said, “He’s a heck of a bull”
而且都不是跟同一只母牛
“But it wasn’t all with the same cow”
来啊 烂笑话
Come on, now, bad jokes
真爱死了
Lord, I love ’em
烂笑话
Bad jokes
永远不嫌多
Can’t get enough of ’em
喔伊
Ooowhee
给我个烂笑话
Bad jokes for me
让我看看 我有..
Let’s see. I’ve got…
一 四 三..
one, four, three…
你听说过有批威而刚被偷走的事吗
Did you hear about the Viagra shipment that got stolen?
没啊 他们认为是谁偷的
No, who they think did it?
他们没头绪
Well, they don’t know…
但他们正在监视那些硬起来惯犯
but they’re on the lookout for hardened criminals.
叫贾里森进来
Get Garrison out here.
他们在收尾了
They’re wrappin’ this up.
还有另一个吗
You got another one?
我有啊 拉夫地
I got another one, Lefty.
司凡对他朋友说 我想我老婆死了
Sven said to his friend, “Boy, I think my wife died.”
他朋友说 你想是什么意思
His friend said, “Well, what do you mean, you think?”
做♥爱♥还是一样啦 但没洗的盘子越叠越高了
“Well, the sex is still the same, but the dishes are stackin’ up.”
哈 哈 哈
Ha ha ha!
嘿 达斯地
Hey, Dusty.
怎样 拉夫地
Yeah, Lefty?
你知道腹泻是遗传的吗
Did you know that diarrhea was hereditary?
我不知道
No, I didn’t.
是啊 他流动在你牛仔裤管里
Yeah, it runs in your jeans.
哈 哈 哈
Ha ha ha ha!
嘿 拉夫地
Hey, uh, heh, Lefty?
耶 说啊
Yeah? Go ahead.
为什么月经来叫做pms
Why do they call it PMS?
我不知道 为什么
PMS? Why, I don’t know. Why?
因为疯母牛这名被抢先用了
‘Cause Mad Cow was already taken.
真是够了
All right, that’s enough.
哈 哈 哈
Ha ha ha!
嘿 达斯地
Hey, Dusty.
怎样 拉夫地
Yeah, Lefty?
如果把圣水跟海狸油混在一起会怎样
What do you get when you cross holy water with castor oil?
我不知道 会怎样呢
I don’t know, Lefty. What do you get?
一场宗教运动
A religious movement.
哈 哈 哈
Ha ha ha ha!
嘿 拉夫地 大象会对个裸体男人说怎么说
Hey, uh… hey, Lefty, what did the elephant say to the naked man?
怎么说
What’d he say?
很可爱 但你真能从那呼吸吗
It’s cute, but can you really breathe through that thing?
拜托喔
Come on, now.
烂笑话
Bad jokes
真爱死了
Lord, I love ’em
烂笑话
Bad jokes
永远不嫌多
Can’t get enough of ’em
喔伊
Ooowhee
给我个烂笑话
Bad jokes for me
烂笑话
Bad jokes
真爱死了
Man, I love ’em
烂笑话
Bad jokes
永远不嫌多
Can’t get enough of ’em
喔伊
Ooowhee
烂
Bad
喔
Whoo!
笑话
Jokes for me
嘿
Hey!
谢谢
Thank you!
喔 喔
Whoo-hoo!
希望你喜欢今晚的演出
We hope you’ve enjoyed our show tonight.
我们十分感谢你今晚的参与
We certainly have enjoyed having you with us.
老天爷
Great God in heaven. Holy shit.
还剩下六分钟 怎么会这样
We’ve got six minutes left! How did that happen?
还有什么可以再撑个六分钟吗
Look, have you got anything for six minutes?
有排过什么吗 任何都行
Have you rehearsed anything? Anything? Anything?
听我说
Listen to me. Listen to me.
亲爱的 还记得我说过,一扇门关上 另一扇就会打开
Darlin’, remember I said to you, one door closes, another one opens?
你去楼下
You go downstairs.
带着你的音乐上台去唱
Get your music and come up and sing.