撒谎精自传（2012）

坐我脸上 让我用双唇拥抱你
Sit on my face And let my lips embrace you
我也会坐你脸上 真正爱上你
I’ll sit on your face And then I’ll love you truly
要是人人都玩69 那世界将会变成美好的明天
Life can be fine If we both 69
我会随时随地坐你一脸
If we sit on our faces In all sorts of places
尽情享乐直到我都都目眩神驰/都被口一管
And play till we’re blown away
话说Monty Python是个什么样的人？
What kind of a fellow is Monty Python, by the way?
是个黑人
He’s black.
黑人同性恋
Black and he’s homosexual.
这就是对他的总结了 他还是很容易概括的
That’s all you can say about him, really. He’s a pretty easy person to sum up.
太坑了 连个床伴都找不到
Good grief. There’s no one to go to bed with.
这附近的年轻人都去哪儿了 真是太没意思了
Where are all the young men around here? This is absolutely dreadful.
来啦！
Ta-da!
矮油不错呦
Oh, all right.
坐我脸上 告诉我你爱我
Sit on my face And tell me that you love me
你们能不能小点声
Could you try and keep the noise down!
悠着点！
Knock it off!
左侧挂画应该是模仿蒙德里安的格子画 右侧挂画为马格利特的《形象的叛逆》，标注为法文“这不是一支烟斗”
吵死了！
Be quiet!
坐我脸上 妈妈
Sit on my face, mama
坐我脸上吧 宝贝儿
Sit on my face Baby, baby
随时随地 坐我一脸
Sit on my face In all sorts of places
作为一名电影明星是什么感觉？
What’s it like being a film star?
我不是啊 我只是个群演
I’m not. I’m just an extra.
– 你只是个群演？ – 是啊
– You’re just an extra? – Yes.
可能是戴了王冠还有这些让你们觉得…
It’s the crown and this that probably…
是的 其实我找的是Graham Fink
Yeah, I was looking for Graham Fink.
那就对了 他就在附近你要不找找
Ah, yes. He’s around somewhere.
坐我脸上 来吧宝贝儿
Sit on my face Come on, baby
让我用双唇拥抱你
Let my lips embrace
告诉我你爱我
Tell me that you love me
坐我脸上 告诉我你爱我
Sit on my face And tell me that you love me
我也会坐你脸上告诉你我爱你
I’ll sit on your face And tell you I love you too
我爱听你口一管时的声音
I love to hear you oralize
我在你双腿间时 你让我惊艳/帮我口一管
When I’m between your thighs You blow me away
坐我脸上 让我用双唇拥抱你
Sit on my face And let my lips embrace you
我也会坐你脸上 真正爱上你
I’ll sit on your face And then I’ll love you truly
要是人人都玩69 那世界将会变成美好的明天
Life can be fine If we all 69
我会随时随地坐你一脸
If we sit on our faces In all sorts of places
尽情享乐直到我都都目眩神驰/都被口一管
And play till we’re blown away
下午好 贝弗利山酒店接待处
Good afternoon. Beverly Hills Hotel reception.
欸 在洛杉矶
Ugh! Los Angeles.
上 下 上 下
Up, down. Up, down.
上 下 上 下
Up, down. Up, down.
上 下 上 下
Up, down. Up, down.
– 你好啊 – 你好
– Hi! – Hi.
你是不是那谁吗？
Ain’t you that guy?
见到你我太激动了
I’m so thrilled to meet you!
我特喜欢Monty Python
I love your Monty Python.
– 要不去我房♥间？ – 当然
– Shall we go up to my room? – Sure!
好了 你喜欢这样吗？
Ah. There. You enjoying that?
嗯嗯啊啊 这样感觉好吗？
Ooh, yeah. Do you feel that?
我有感觉了
I feel that.
我来啦
Just get right in there.
再见啦 Graham
Bye, Graham.
替我向Monty问声好啊
Oh, and do say hello to Monty for me.
告诉他我是他的头号♥粉丝
Tell him I’m his biggest fan!
这个还蛮好玩啊 再来
That was fun. Zoom.
呃 不好意思
Um, excuse me.
附近有可以用的电♥话♥吗？
ls there a telephone around here I can use?
当然 用我房♥间里的好了
Sure. Use the one in my room.
但是是我妈需要打电♥话♥
But it’s my mother who needs to use the phone.
那就带她一起来吧 只要不是长途我不介意的
Well, bring her up too. I don’t mind if it’s a local call.
再来 哦哦哦
Do that to me. Ooh.
如果这是命令的话 老伙计(海鸠)
If it’s an order, old guillemot.
哦哦哦 真棒 啊啊啊
Ooh, big boy. Mm.
摸我那里
Aah! Touch me here.
额滴天 就是那里！
Oh, my God. Do it to me there!
– 好嘞 这就来 – 哦哦哦 就是那儿
– Right-0. Here it comes. – Ooh! Right there.
嗯嗯嗯 啊啊啊
Oh, my God. Yes!
来啊来啊 啊啊啊
Oh, do that to me! Ooh!
雅蠛蝶 啊啊啊
Big boy! Oh, my God! Oh, yeah.
一库一库啊啊啊
Yes! Oh, my God!
你其实 不只是
You, in fact, were more than…
…曾经喝醉过 你其实是酒精成瘾
…drunk on one occasion. You were in fact an alcoholic.
是的 我喝得不少
Yes, I did a lot of drinking.
– 确实是喝得特别多 Michael – 你是酒鬼么
– A great deal indeed, Michael. – You were an alcoholic?
完全可以说我确实喝得很多
You can safely say I did do a very great deal.
那你最多的话 一天能喝多少呢？
And how much at your peak, so to speak, were you drinking?
一天四品脱(差不多2.3升)金酒
Four pints of gin a day.
一天四品脱?
Four pints of gin a day?
我都不知道Graham是个酒鬼 你知道吗？
I didn’t know Graham was an alcoholic. Did you?
你觉得是什么导致的？
Why was that, do you think?
我觉得…我不知道 真的 不确定答案
I think… I don’t know, really, the answer to that.
我觉得可能在内心深处 我没有安全感
Deep inside I think actually that I was insecure.
我不觉得自己配得上我取得的成功
I didn’t really feel that I’d deserved the success that I’d achieved.
戒酒的时候有多难?
How difficult was it?
其实 一旦我下了决心 只要我决定不喝了
Actually, once the decision had been made, once I decided to stop,
就简单了 除了开始三天的不适也没什么
it was easy, except for the three days of unpleasantness.
快接着说吧
Oh, get on with it.
不许说脏话！
Language!
你不能靠看书学到一切
You can’t learn everything out of books.
Graham 你没事儿吧？你看着气色不大好
Graham? Are you all right? You look a bit pale.
要我给你端杯茶再来点吐司吗？
Would you like a cup of tea and maybe a bit of toast?
– 上面加个水波蛋 – 不了 我… 我
– With a nice poached egg on top? – No. I’m… I’ll…
让我自己待…几…几分钟
J-just leave m… a…m-moment.
等…等下 我就能起床 就没事儿了
L-later. I’ll get up, be fine.
– 喝点薇姿矿泉水? – 不… 好的 好的
– Uh, Vichy water? – N… Yes, yes.
– 大…大卫 拉…拉上窗帘 – 抱歉
– Da-David, the curtains. – Sorry.
平安夜
Silent night
圣善夜
Holy night
真宁静
All is calm
好了
There.
真光明
All is bright
女士们先生们 今晚隆重推出
Introducing, ladies and gentlemen, tonight,
从石油输出国泥浆摔跤巡回赛上远道而来的
all the way from a mud-wrestling tour of the OPEC countries,
红方 科林”轰炸机”哈里斯！
in the red corner, Colin “Bomber” Harris!
然后 女士们先生们 蓝方 科林”轰炸机”哈里斯！
And, ladies and gentlemen, in the blue corner, Colin “Bomber” Harris!
好了 女士们先生们 这是科林”轰炸机”哈里斯
Well now, ladies and gentlemen, this is the first time
有史以来首次对阵自己
that Colin “Bomber” Harris has met himself.
例行程序之后 我们开始第一回合
A few formalities and we’ll be ready for round one.
铃♥声♥响了
There goes the bell.
他刚刚挂上了拦绳
He just made it to the rope!
科林已经跳入了场地的中♥央♥ 他在寻找一个进攻点
Colin moves to the middle of the ring. He’s looking for an opening.
要使出握手绝招了 握上了
Going for the hand hold. He’s got it.
接着挤头
Into the head squeeze.
这是科林最喜欢的招式 不错
A favourite move of Colin’s. Fine there.
从上方的二指禅插鼻孔 应该能从这招脱困
Double overhead nostril. Should be able to twist out of this.
确实做到了
And he does!
应对非常好！
A lovely move there!
科林自己应该很满意 把自己从这种困境解救了出来
Colin must be pleased with himself, having pulled himself out of that one.
草莓摔/杯！香草杯！
The strawberry whip! A vanilla whip!
whip是双关 甜点 也是拳击招式
巧克力杯 要来了
Chocolate whip! There it is.
科林最有名的一摔/杯 就是现在
Colin’s most famous whip. And there it is.
当然 他也靠了点小运气
He just got a little lucky, though.
Eydie Gormé两周
A double Eydie Gormé.
double双关 Eydie Gormé和她丈夫以双人表演出名 也是跳水的动作
就是这个！科林最出名的锁技 Jerry Ford式单腿上肩
There it is! Colin’s most famous hold! The one-leg-over-shoulder Jerry Ford!
hold也是双关 拳击招式 大概也指美国总统Gerald Ford老是和别人握手？
他把自己困住了 这下科林麻烦大了！
And he’s caught himself there and Colin’s in real trouble!
而科林非常不爽
And Colin did not like that one little bit!
后背式过头双踢 科林肯定很为自己得意
Double overhead back-kick and Colin must be pretty pleased with himself.