新郎上错床（2003）

就只是个小小的打劫… 他们要钓更大的鱼
A little mugging… They have bigger fish to fry.
但是他们是好人
But they’re good men.
这些是什么?
What are these?
我不知道
I don’t know.
那我告诉你这是女人的内♥裤♥
I’ll tell you what they are… women’s underwear.
我在马桶水箱里找到的
I found them in the toilet tank.
马桶水箱?
The toilet tank?
水渗漏了出来 所以我提起…
The water was leaking, so I went to lift the…
这是怎么回事?
What is going on here?
你有带过女人回来?
Did you have a girl in this apartment?
凯伦!绝对没有!
Karen! Absolutely not!
那些内衣裤是你的
Those underwear are yours.
不 不是我的
No, they are not.
本来是要给你的 是我买♥♥给你的
They were gonna be yours. I got them for you.
你的生日礼物 喜欢吧
For your birthday. Enjoy.
我的生日可是在三个月之前
My birthday was three months ago.
我知道
I know.
但是我发现你要那个纪念盒
But then I found that locket you wanted…
所以我就送了你那个
and I gave that to you instead.
我想晚些时候把这个送给你的
I wanted to give these to you at a later date…
所以我把它们藏在马桶的水箱里
so I went ahead and hid them in the toilet tank.
那它们为什么不是盒包装的?
Why aren’t they in a box?
为什么不是盒包装的?
Why aren’t they in a box?
说也奇怪 它们原来就是这样的
Oddly enough, that’s how they came.
我在一个卖♥♥内♥裤♥的箱子里找到的
I found them in an underwear bin.
箱子?什么地方把内♥裤♥放在箱子里卖♥♥?
A bin? Where do they sell underwear out of a bin?
消费超♥市♥
Spend Mart.
你指望我相信…
You expect me to believe…
你在消费超♥市♥的一个箱子里
that you purchased a pair of underwear…
买♥♥了一条内♥裤♥?
out of a bin at Spend Mart.
那是你编的吧?
Is that your story?
是的
Yeah.
哦 我的上帝 是脏的
Oh, my God. These are dirty.
什么?真恶心!
What? That’s disgusting!
我真不敢相信那些混♥蛋♥竟然卖♥♥给我脏的内衣裤!
I can’t believe those fuckers sold me dirty underwear!
那真的是不对的!
That is just wrong!
现在我真得很庆幸没把它们送给你
Now I’m really glad I didn’t give them to you.
我饿了 我们该吃点什么吧?
I’m hungry. Should we eat something?
保罗 听我说 我并不傻
Paul, listen to me. I am not stupid.
告诉我在这发生了什么事情
Please tell me what’s going on here…
我希望你对我是完全的忠实
and I want you to be totally honest with me.
你是不是有带女人回来这儿?
Did you have a girl in this apartment?
我相信你 你这该死的东西!
I trusted you, you son of a bitch!
你怎么会喜欢那样呢?
How do you like that?
不 我没有
No, I did not.
很好
Fine.
你要干什么?
What are you doing?
我要打电♥话♥给消费超♥市♥
I’m calling Spend Mart.
他们可能会想知道他们正在…
They probably want to know…
出♥售♥脏的女式内♥裤♥
that they are selling dirty women’s underwear.
凯伦 少来了 这样很蠢
Karen, come on, this whole thing’s silly.
我很怀疑他们会承认他们在卖♥♥脏的内衣裤
I doubt they’ll admit they sell dirty underwear.
我肯定这是违反公♥司♥政策的
I’m sure it’s against corporate policy.
消费超♥市♥ 这里消费更实惠
Spend Mart, where you spend less.
我想提个关于你们内♥裤♥箱的问题
I have a question regarding your underwear bins.
内♥裤♥箱?
Underwear bins?
我的未婚夫跟我说…
My fiance has informed me…
他从你们的内衣裤专柜的箱子里买♥♥了
that he bought a pair of dirty women’s underwear…
一条脏的女士内♥裤♥
out of one of your bins…
我想听听你们的看法
and I wanted to hear your thoughts on this.
我的看法?关于我们的内♥裤♥箱?
My thoughts? On our underwear bins?
这是我的看法 我对此深恶痛绝
These are my thoughts. I’m sick of it.
这是些大学生们在恶作剧
It’s some college kids playing a prank.
他们把脏的内衣裤放在我们的箱子里
They been putting dirty underwear in our bins.
-什么? -他说什么?
– What? – What did he say?
我代表消费超♥市♥ 向您道歉
On behalf of Spend Mart, I’d like to apologize.
你为什么不跟你的丈夫一块再过来
Why don’t you have your fiance come down…
我们会给你们换条新的…
and we’ll exchange them for a fresh pair…
要不退款给你们 好吗?
or refund your money. OK?
该死的
Poor bastard.
内衣裤箱?
Underwear bins?
年轻人的东西
It’s a guy thing.
胡说!
Bullshit!
上帝啊 真得很对不起 我太敏感了
God, I am really sorry. I feel terrible.
没事的 亲爱的
It’s OK, honey.
我态度恶劣的责怪了你
I am a terrible person for accusing you.
不 你是那样的忠诚
No, you are so honest.
我不值得你这么做 谢谢
I don’t deserve you. Thank you.
我很喜欢它们
I love them.
我知道你会的
I knew you would.
让我们忘掉这一切吧
Let’s just forget about it.
让我把这当作从没发生过一样
Let’s pretend it never happened.
我爱你 你爱我 那才是最重要的
I love you, you love me, that’s all that matters.
等我一会儿
One sec!
我下班回家
I got home from work…
在我儿子的房♥间里发现了这些照片
and found these pictures in my son’s room.
他站在它们上面
He was standing over them.
我们是同一页的吗?
Are we on the same page?
不要说啦!
Don’t speak!
在将来 你能否找到一个方法
In the future, would you find a way…
来处理你的色情刊物
to dispose of your pornography…
从而使它们不会到孩子们的手中吗?
so it doesn’t wind up in the hands of children?
绝对没问题 不好意思
Absolutely. I apologize.
-门外是谁啊? -我们的邻居…
– Who’s at the door? – Our neighbor, Mr…
费里斯牧师
Minister Ferris.
费里斯牧师先生
Mr. Minister Ferris.
你好 我是凯伦 保罗的未婚妻
Hello. I’m Karen, Paul’s fiancee.
恭喜啊!你就要结束单身啦 不是吗?
Congratulations. You move right along, don’t you?
费里斯牧师先生顺便来给 我们推荐一档电视特别节目
Mr. Minister Ferris stopped by to recommend a TV special.
喔哦 那真好
Wow, that’s great.
谢谢你想到了我们 我们会去看的…
Thanks for thinking of us. We’ll keep that…
小伙子
Son…
我盯着你呢
I’ve got my eye on you.
那好了
OK, then.
他真是会为人着想啊
That was awfully thoughtful of him.
我想他在注意你的胯部
I think he was checking out your crotch.
凯伦 他是一个教士
Karen, he’s a man of the cloth.
我们不要随便的猜测他在注意什么
Let’s not rashly accuse him of being some weird pecker checker.
我不得不去浴室了
I’ve got to go to the bathroom.
好吧
Ok.
该死的
Shit.
你闻到烟味了吗?
Do you smell smoke?
好的 该死!
OK. Oh, shit!
什么东西烧着了?我闻到烟味了
Is something burning? I smell smoke.
我点了根火柴 如果你知道我的意思是什么
I lit a match, if you know what I mean.
-你还在拉肚子吗? -是的
– Do you still have diarrhea? – Yeah, I do.
我跟你说 你以为它好了
I tell you, you think you got it licked…
可它却又来闹你的肠胃
it comes right back to kick you in the butt.
如果再这么继续下去 我们的婚礼
If this keeps up, we’ll have to plan…
得按照你的肠胃来安排了
our whole wedding day around your bowel movements.
你好?
Hello?
嘿 保罗 我是贝奇
Hey, Paul, it’s Becky.
吉米伙计!怎么啦?
Jimmy boy! What’s up?
没什么 吉米伙计
Nothing much, Jimmy boy.
我那疯子般的前未婚夫来找过我
I got a visit from my lunatic ex-fiance.
他有我们在一块儿的照片
He’s got pictures of us together.
嘿 美女!我能要杯金汤力吗
Hey, baby! Can I get a gin and tonic…
或是要你和我上♥床♥?
and maybe you in bed?
我不知道他要怎么处理那些照片
I don’t know what he’ll do with them…
他脑子可是很有病
but he’s got a steroid rage problem…