新郎上错床（2003）

好了 伙计们 安静点
All right, guys. Quiet down.
把音乐关了
Kill it.
好了 我提议大家干杯
All right, I’d like to propose a toast.
为了与婚姻有关的三个”戒指”
To the three rings of marriage.
那就是订婚戒指
There’s the engagement ring.
结婚戒指
There’s the wedding ring.
还有受苦受难
And there’s suffering!
敬保罗!
To Paul!
谢谢
Thank you.
干!干!干!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
新郎上错床
怎么了 伙计 放松点
Come on, man. Loosen up a little.
我是个保守的律师…
I’m the uptight lawyer…
但家里人中一直就数你最疯狂了
but you were always the crazy one in the family.
-我知道 -放松一下 好好玩玩
– I know. – Relax and have fun.
我的单身派对…
My bachelor party…
是我结婚后最后一次快乐时光
was the last good time in my marriage.
可能你的婚姻情况不妙…
Maybe your marriage didn’t work…
是因为你在单身派对上玩得太过了
because you had too much fun at the bachelor party.
不 是因为我根本取悦不了迪娜
It didn’t work because Deena was impossible to please.
你的就不同了 你有凯伦
Your marriage will be fine. You’ve got Karen.
她可是既美丽又聪明 而且很风趣
And she’s beautiful. Smart. Funny.
她对动物很有爱心
She’s kind to animals.
她非常非常性感
She’s very, very sexy.
她非常有品味
She’s got a great sense of style.
-皮特 -怎么了?
– Pete. – Yeah?
我不过是个崇拜者
I’m just a big fan.
真不敢相信我弟弟要结婚了
I can’t believe my little brother’s getting married.
我得走了 我爱你
I got to run. I love you.
好的 嗨!
OK. Hey!
你是个幸运的男人
You are a lucky, lucky man.
保罗 打起精神!
Paul, up high!
祝你好运! 恭喜
Good luck in there. Congratulations.
谢谢
Thanks.
听着 吉姆 关于女孩子…
Listen, Jim, about the girls…
我真是捉摸不透
I’m not sure.
-我完全理解 兄弟 -是吗?
– I totally understand, dude. – You do?
-绝对理解 -好
– Absolutely. – Good.
我想让你知道 伙计
And I want you to know something, man.
我根本就不在乎
I don’t give a shit.
-你当新郎吧 -我不是这个意思
– You be the groom. – That’s not how it works.
等一下 我要给你一个机会…
Hang on a second. I’m giving you a chance…
让你在单身派对上当新郎…
to be the groom at a bachelor party…
而且你不用在下周六结婚
and you don’t have to get married next Saturday.
考虑一下吧
Think about that.
听好了 各位
Listen up, everybody.
从现在开始 我就是新郎
As of this moment, I am the groom.
提基女郎来了!
We got tiki girls!
新郎在哪儿?
Where’s the groom?
对不起
Sorry.
你很喜欢玩这个嘛
You really suck at this.
是啊 我第一次玩
Yeah. It’s my first day.
能给我买♥♥杯啤酒吗?
Would you buy me a beer?
好啊
Yeah.
吉米
Jimmy.
-喂? -你好 保罗
– Hello? – Hi, Paul.
你好 古柏夫人
Hi, Mrs. Cooper.
我马上就是你的丈母娘了
I’m going to be your mother-in-law.
叫我桑德拉吧
Call me Sandra.
-你好 桑德拉 -单身派对开得怎么样啊?
– Hi, Sandra. – How was the bachelor party?
你知道的 很无聊的
You know, silly.
真是过时的习俗
It’s really such an outdated ritual.
你是每个丈母娘的梦想
You are every mother-in-law’s dream.
你能替我叫凯伦听电♥话♥吗?
Can you put Karen on for me?
当然 你等一下
Sure. Hold on.
哦 我的天啊
Oh, my God.
怎么了? 有什么不对劲的吗?
What is it? Is something the matter?
我猜凯伦还没到
I guess Karen hasn’t arrived yet.
你什么意思?
What do you mean?
她正在赶过来 她现在应该早就到了
She’s on her way over. She should be there by now.
不 现在还没到
Nope. Not here yet.
桑德拉 我得出去一下
Sandra, I have to get going.
你能让她…
Could you please have her…
真♥他♥妈♥的
Holy shit.
小姐?女士?
Miss? Ma’am?
-嗨 -你现在得走了
– Hey. – You have to leave now.
你也早上好
Good morning to you, too.
我不是个粗鲁的人 但是你现在得走了!
I’m not a rude guy, but you have to go now!
好啊 我现在就走
OK, I’m going.
我的未婚妻正在赶过来
My fiancee is on her way over here.
你要结婚了吗?
You’re getting married?
除非你能赶快赶快离开
Only if you leave really, really soon.
你不是那个戴新郎帽的人啊
You weren’t the guy with the groom hat on.
我非常愿意解释给你听 但是你现在真的得离开了
I’d love to explain, but you have to leave.
不然我就死定了
I’m going to get my ass kicked.
说得非常清楚
That is very clear.
怎么搞的?
What happened?
好了 我们走吧
OK, let’s go.
坏消息 我找不到我的内♥裤♥
Bad news. I can’t find my underwear.
我能邮寄给你吗?
Can I mail them to you?
好啊 我只有那一条
Yes, please. They’re my only pair.
给我你的地址
Give me your address.
我有不止一条内♥裤♥的
I have more than one pair of underwear.
我会在她来之前找到它们的
I’ll find them before she gets here.
冷静一点 如果你很紧张的话…
Calm down. If you’re freaking out…
当你未婚妻来的时候 你会让她也很紧张
when your fiancee gets here, you’ll freak her out.
你让我也很紧张 虽然我都不认识你
You’re freaking me out, and I don’t even know you.
冷静一点就好
Just be cool.
我是个非常冷静的人
I’m a very cool guy.
比你可能遇上的任何男人都要冷静
Cooler than most of the guys you probably meet.
我不是想冒犯你的
No offense.
只不过现在的情况对我来说非常不妙
This is just a bad situation for me.
相信我 我不是你想的那种人
Trust me. I’m not this guy.
你先请
After you.
如果你看到有一条比基尼内♥裤♥…
If you see a pair of bikini underwear lying around…
来找这个人
see this guy.
别这么说 好吗?
Could you not say that, please?
你能帮我个忙 从后面的楼梯走吗?
Can you do me a favor and take the back stairs?
免得我还剩有一点自尊吗?
In case I had any speck of self-esteem left?
我打赌女士们都喜欢那个
I bet that goes over well with the ladies.
根本没有什么女士 好吗?
There are no ladies, all right?
-是啊 -事实上…
– Right. – It’s actually…
谢谢你 杰克逊夫人
Thank you, Mrs. Jackson.
再见
Aloha.
婚礼策划
Wedding planner.
我们在考虑完全采用夏威夷式的典礼
We were thinking of going with the whole luau thing.
日安
Good day.
妈的!
Shit!
不在那儿 天啊!
Not there. God!
妈的
Shit.
能把门链拿下来吗?
Could you undo the chain?
等一下!
One second!
保罗! 在干什么啊?
Paul! What’s going on?
快把门链拿下来 我站在外面呢
Please undo the chain. I am standing out here.
保罗 你没事吧?
Paul, are you OK?
凯伦 亲爱的 真是个惊喜啊
Karen, sweetheart, what a surprise.
你为什么把门链挂上?
Why’d you chain the door shut?
还是小心一点好啊
You can’t be too safe.
单身派对怎么样? 留下什么回忆没有?
How was the bachelor party? Hung over?
一点都没有
Not at all.
我知道在那种场合会发生什么事…